Not everyone needs psychological counseling, but these 3 points, you can only get from the consultation relationship

Is psychological counseling necessary? Why?

Unnecessary, but not replaced.

After learning that my psychological counselor's identity, I often ask friends who do n’t know much about psychological counseling: "Is it necessary for psychological counseling?"

Before I respond, I can usually feel the hesitation of the questioner's tone. I want to ask friends who ask this question to have some "minds" in terms of probability. They may have been thinking about how to deal with their own questions. Psychological counseling may have drifted into his mind, but some hinder him and make this choice firmly.

What hindered him?

What are we talking about when we are talking about psychological counseling?

01

Factors that hinder the beginning of psychological counseling

First of all, economic factors must be considered.

The complexity and micro -characteristics of psychological problems usually determine that psychological counseling is not very short -term consultation. Although many short -range psychological counseling have emerged as possible in the contemporary contemporary contemporary contemporary contemporary contemporary contemporary contemporary contemporary There are still few consultations that properly solve the problem within the number of consultations.

Therefore, more than ten or twenty consultations are commonplace, and dozens of hundreds of consultations are also sparse, and it is not uncommon to consult for a few years. In this case, the consultation cost is a great expenditure. It is very reasonable to think about it before making such investment.

Picture source: "Start from the Heart"

Secondly, although psychological counseling has gained a certain popularity, it is inevitable that many people will still have a sense of "illness" to see the consultant.

"My family doesn't want me to see the consultant, I am afraid that others feel that I am sick", "Is it difficult for everyone to do if everyone doesn't have, why do I have more things, and what consultants should I see ...... These We have listened a lot, and I also understand how much pressure and anxiety that society and the environment bring to a person, and how tenacious people need to resist and struggle with these sounds.

Entering the consultation room seems to be an unbroken surrender, admitting its fragility, "prevailing", "losing the ground", cannot cope with the feathers of this place, as if they were defeated in the battle of life. When the body is sick, we can say that this is no wonder, unable to control, but in the face of psychological problems, we seem to only admit that we have failed. This feeling itself makes people retreat.

Finally, the most important thing is that everyone has a doubt about how psychological counseling can work and whether it can really have effects.

Many of our understanding or imagination of psychological counseling are learned through film and television dramas or literary works. Wearing beautiful clothes, sitting in the exquisite consulting room, just smiled and nodded, and said in cooperation with the consultant who said "um ... uh ...", often becoming the object of joke in these works. Regardless of the actual ethics requirements, the romantic love between the development consultant and the visit, and then discounted it for its professionalism.

Image source: "Constellation Consultation"

Of course, there are also works that really reflect the charm of psychological counseling, but unfortunately, as an onlooker, psychological counseling always seems to have no "scientific content". What can be said, "Just can it work? Can you help me solve the problem?"

02

Is psychological counseling necessary?

Spending more, dare to face the eyes of others and your own review, and it is not sure that psychological counseling will be effective. All this allows us to return to the original question: Is it necessary for psychological counseling? Do you have to go to the psychological counseling when I feel painful?

My answer is: psychological counseling is not a necessary option.

But before making specific discussions, I think I need to explain the difference between psychological counseling and psychotherapy.

Simply put, psychotherapy can be equivalent to the services provided by the psychiatry of the hospital we are talking about. It will determine whether the patient has certain types of mental illness, such as the anxiety and depression we are more familiar with. Psychological counseling is a kind of auxiliary service that will not be diagnosed for visiting or prescribed for the visit. After clarifying this difference, what I want to talk about next is to face psychological counseling rather than psychotherapy.

Maybe someone will be confused. How can I judge that I need psychotherapy or psychological counseling?

Image source: "Constellation Consultation"

Perhaps for some patients who have already appeared very serious symptoms, this is relatively easy to distinguish, such as fantasy, illusion, or compulsory ideas or behaviors. These can be considered to see psychiatric subjects. As for more common anxiety and depression, you may be able to look at the level of feelings. If you really have a strong sense of pain, last for a long time, and have affected personal work and study, you can consider going to the hospital to hang psychiatry.

If these pains do not affect daily life, work and study, you can consider psychological counseling. Even if it is really difficult to judge, there is no need to be particularly anxious for this. Although there is no diagnosis and prescription right, the psychological counselor will still have a rough judgment on the visit. Essence The doctor of the psychiatric often recommends psychological counseling at the same time as the patient is taking the medicine.

03

Why is psychological counseling a necessary option?

This can get the answer from our real life experience.

We may have lost confidence because of the loss of the exam, painful because of unhappiness, and feel at a loss because of being unable to deal with the relationship with colleagues ... In real life, negative emotions always appear, but there is no seeing. Everyone has to do psychological counseling. We can talk to our friends and release the anger and depression in our hearts; we can ask for advice with the elders to find a way to reverse the situation; we can go to a book, a movie, and get a moment of empathy. So we reorganized the spirit and then invested in new challenges again.

Image source: "Wave"

Life is still continuing. Those negative feelings are just a dark cloud that floats by chance. It will always cry in us, sing a song, and gradually dissipate after three patrols. At this time, our social support system, our emotional regulation capabilities can help us walk over, so psychological counseling is not necessary.

04

Can psychological counseling be replaced?

I think the answer is also clear: psychological counseling is an irreplaceable choice.

In fact, the answer can also be found from our real life experience. What we can always find is that the dark clouds that once appeared on our heads will return. If we observe carefully, we can still find that we always have similar emotional distress when facing similar situations.

The confidence that once lost due to the failure of the exam will be weakened in the next teacher's criticism; the dispute in the first relationship will occur again in the second relationship, and it will happen again in the face of different faces; change three times after three faces; change to three in the face of three; change to three in three; change three in three; change to three in three; change to three in three; change to three in three; change to three in three; change to three in three; change to three in three; change to three in three; change to three in three; change to three in three; change to three in three; change to three in three; change three times to three. Work, the gap between those with colleagues does not really solve it; those good words that have made us realize have not changed us, and live a good life.

why? I obviously wanted to open it last time. Why did I get into such entanglement this time? Because of this stubborn, the reaction that cannot be completely resolved-feels the pattern that plagues us.

Image source: "Manchester by the Sea"

And our seemingly reliable social support system seems to be "unreliable", and friends who have been supported will become impatient; although the elders will provide solutions, they will also provide criticism and blame ... All this has increased our loneliness and helplessness. Because of this, psychological counseling is irreplaceable.

05

How does psychological counseling work?

For psychological counseling how to work, I think what I want to do is not to provide explanations from the theoretical and technical level. First of all, it is necessary to clarify the task that is basically impossible with an article. Furthermore, this is far from the visits, and some academic discussions are suspected. Therefore, I think maybe it is more appropriate to start from the perspective of the visitors.

1. Provide a stable environment and continuous support.

In fact, what is the most lacking in our modern daily life? I think it is a sense of stability. This stability includes the stability of the physical environment and the stability of psychological interpersonal.

We are all disturbed at all times. From the pop -up message window to the overtime notice from the boss, it seems that we will always be turbulent. Because of this, we cannot ensure stable meetings with friends like before, because everyone must face their turmoil and cope with our instability. The stability of the psychological counseling settings just provides a framework or container for all these uncertainty. When we are sure that someone will wait for us at a certain time, this will bring people a sense of stability and security.

Image source: "Constellation Consultation"

Some people may have doubts. If I am so unstable, how can I be sure I can meet with the consultant?

In most cases, we will still find a fixed period that is not disturbed in a week. If this is difficult to guarantee, except for some exceptions, then our own instability is a very important issue that needs to be discussed, and this often requires a stability to keep it to ensure that there is room for space to go Discussion.

2. Curiousness, attention and neutral attitude.

In 50 minutes to 1 hour, a person had a goodwill, curiously wanted to know everything about me. The last time I felt like this ... last time.

Although we often say that we are the protagonists of life, what we feel is the role of ourselves as a supporting role and even the audience.

我们总是看着舞台中间闪闪发光的别人，总是渴望被关注的目光，却又不可得，或者当关注的目光向我们投来时，我们又会不知所措，想要逃避，因为我们不Determine what this concern contains.

Of course, these feelings in the consultation will also appear. We will doubt the consultant. When we are concerned, we may be uncomfortable, but fortunately, everything can be talked about.

The confusion, hesitation, the feeling of unbelievable, and fear of what we have, and what we are afraid of. We cannot talk to another person in our lives but full of our thoughts and emotions. When the discussion is not punished, it feels like changes. Feeling changes also make the pop -up mode and change behavior is possible.

3. Use consulting relationships to solve problems in the relationship.

If there is a professional background and a stable and continuous appearance, what else is the difference between the consultant and the friend of the family, I am afraid that the consultant will use the visitors as a complete center, constantly reflect on the relationship between themselves and the visitors, understand the visitors, understand the visitors, understand the visitors, understand the visitors, and understand the visitors, understand the visitors, understand the visitors, and understand the visitors, and understand the visitors. Visitors also help visitors understand themselves.

What we have to admit is that almost all psychological problems and emotional problems are relationships. We are always in the relationship, in the feelings of ourselves and others.

When we associate with others in life, there are always at least two people in the conversation, and there are at least two perspectives of the conversation. However, in the consultation, what the consultant did was to work hard to understand the perspective of the visit. The perspective of the consultant was not to correct the visit, to present the visit, and to provide an explanation.

In this perspective, there is no judgment of personal values, and there is no subjective and strong "correct".

Of course, no one can completely put aside themselves. Therefore, the consultant not only needs to supervise, but also requires a continuous personal experience, that is, the consultant went to see the consultant to solve his personal issue. This can not only help the consultant experience the experience of visiting, but also try to distinguish from as much as possible. What are the visits and which are their own, and do not let their own affect visitors. When this part is clearer, it can also help the consultant to understand the visitors.

Picture source: "Mind Catcher"

When we understand that psychological counseling cannot be replaced by other ways, we may have accepted the effect and role that may have. So, maybe we will not have the initial doubt again: whether psychological counseling is necessary.

When we have this part of power, we are more likely to find a way to solve the obstacles that the consulting fee brings to us (for example, find a relatively low price consultant, or to find some free resources from the school), and it is more likely to go to face He hesitation and timidity when he entered the consultation (do not need to be very demanding on yourself. These hesitation and fear are real. Even if you can't defeat for the time being, it doesn't matter. Or pay more attention to some psychological science things and let yourself accept it slowly).

To be sure, my description must not make people really understand the beauty of psychological counseling, or the way I say to work can only stay at the cognitive level. The best way may be to experience it. What we can remember is that in psychological counseling, we can shout "card!" At any time.

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