More than 60 % of the college students who interviewed thought that they could not start a new relationship immediately after breaking up

China Youth Network, Beijing, July 15th (Reporter Li Huaxi) In love, after a lover breaks up for various reasons, most people will go through a period of adjustment, and then start a new relationship, and a few people will quickly enter the next relationship. So, can you start a new relationship immediately after breaking up? Some people think that it is possible, but to get along with each other for one or two months; some people think that it is not possible. After breaking up, you must adjust yourself. Starting a new relationship immediately is an irresponsible manifestation.

Recently, the China Youth Network Campus News Agency launched a questionnaire survey for "whether you can start a new relationship immediately after breaking up" and launch a questionnaire for 17,697 college students across the country. The results show that 11665 people choose not to choose, accounting for 65.92%; 6032 people can choose, accounting for the proportion of the proportion, and the proportion 34.08%.

After breaking up, you need to adjust yourself, and starting a new relationship immediately is a manifestation of irresponsible

Li Li, a college student in Chongqing, believes that you can't start a new relationship immediately after breaking up. He said that breaking up means the end of an intimate relationship. For this end, it may be more to cause personal thinking or simple self -rest, not to escape, paralysis, etc., and make yourself quickly invest in new feelings. Come to get the "comfort" of yourself.

He felt that if he started a new relationship immediately after breaking up, this new relationship would not last long. "This kind of person feels unreliable, or the object of this new relationship is his 'spare tire'."

Tianjin University student Zhao Ming also agreed with this view. He said that if a person has emotions for the last lover, he will not start a new relationship immediately after breaking up. "If it was me, there would be a mustard in my heart, and I felt that it was also irresponsible to the next girl."

After breaking up, you can start a new relationship immediately, but you have to get along for one or two months before determining the relationship

Wu Xiaoli, a college student in Jiangxi, thought that she could start a new relationship immediately after breaking up. She said that for the people who broke up, the breakup has been suffering and consideration for a long time. She has repeatedly confirmed that she does not love. After breaking up, another person has nothing to do with the person in front. "Of course, the premise is that this newly -accepting person is not the 'spare tire' when she did not break up before, and it immediately refers to the premise of getting along for one or two months after the breakup."

She felt that some people felt that she could not start a new relationship immediately after breaking up because she did not put down the previous relationship, and perhaps suffered in the previous relationship.

If you can quickly get out of the shadow of the previous relationship? Wu Xiaoli said that she must enjoy a good life every day and be good at discovering a beautiful moment in life. She does not think that it is necessary to play with friends, and maybe it is indeed effective for some. "I think finding my most comfortable life status, in fact, if there are partners, there will be no less happiness."

Experts: After breaking up, first close the love of yourself and adjust your emotions

Zhang Xingyu, a full -time consultant of Chongqing Normal University Student Psychological Health Education and Consultation Center and a national second -level psychological counselor, said that first of all, can you start a new relationship immediately, without standard answers. The first thing is to care about yourself and adjust your emotions.

"Generally speaking, any party who just broke up is uncomfortable, so you must first care about yourself and adjust your emotions." She said that the decision made in emotional state is not very rational and risky. This When someone "enters", it is easy to lose themselves. Of course, it is also possible that the other party is true, but it is necessary to increase their vigilance and maintain a long period of inspection.

Secondly, can you immediately accept a new relationship, and it depends on whether the previous relationship has been properly handled. Ask if you really can't be together? If the answer is no, then new relationship at this time will undoubtedly cause double trouble for yourself, and it is not fair to the latter. If the answer is yes, it is necessary to do a good job of good afterwards, such as material involving, economical, and the positioning of the relationship between the two people in the future.

Again, Zhang Xingyu believes that after breaking up, can you start a new relationship immediately? The most important thing is to see if you have done psychological reconstruction.

How does the lover after the breakup reconstruct psychological reconstruction? Zhang Xingyu recommended some practical methods to young people.

The first is to evaluate how your performance in this love? Try to treat it as a "practice", you don't have to entangle what you have lost. The most valuable note is "how does your own performance". "Use a piece of paper to record your poor performance, then tell yourself, tell the psychological counselor, and see what you will gain from it."

The second is to evaluate what you have gained in this love experience? Each experience may be lost and harvested, and you must learn if you do not get it. Don't miss any opportunity to grow. Take out a piece of paper and make their own gains and growth. "You need to find out more carefully, or suspend, after a while, or more time to continue writing until you are satisfied. At this time, you will find that although this love 'practice' is the end of the breakup, But the situation is not so bad, cherish and thank you for what you get. "

The third is to evaluate how much responsibility should the other party in love break up? For example, 70%are the fault of the other party. Please talk about what 30%of the 30%of the responsibility is included? Please list them one by one. Be careful not to be sloppy, you must carefully find and reflect on your shortcomings, so that you can not make the same mistake in the next relationship.

"Please don't let go of yourself easily. When you don't seem to write more after writing a few, I have to tell myself that I have to find more, because I can improve it better, and then continue thinking." Zhang Xingyu said, do you still have to ask himself if you really can't find it? Then pause, it doesn't matter if you can write later or some time, you don't need to rush to the next step. After writing, let's make another evaluation to see how much it is responsible for? "Maybe you will find that the proportion of your responsibility will be increased, which will reduce some of the hostility and complaints of the other person, and when you focus on your own responsibility, you have actually grown." Fourth Emotional is "king -like farewell." When I have completed the previous three tasks, if I have broken up in the past three months, I believe my emotions have eased, and I find that I have some gains in this love exercise. More importantly, I have to take some responsibility. Essence

Zhang Xingyu said that he can find a quiet environment, put a empty chair on the opposite side, put a pillow on it to represent his predecessor, close his eyes to adjust his emotions, and then open your eyes to the "ex -party": Thank you You accompanied me to love this love. Although we finally regretted separating, I saw that I had a lot of improvement, and I also had an unswerving responsibility. I wanted to say sorry for you. At the same time, I want to thank you ..., what I want to learn from you is ..., I want to bless you ... "After talking about this, you can get up and hug the pillow, then turn around to create and pursue your own happiness."

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