Cosmo exclusive ｜ Yu Xiuhua: I never feel that love from one end is beautiful

Editor's notes (ups and down to view more) Poet Yu Xiuhua recently appeared on the hot search again. She had controversial feelings from the beginning, and eventually ended quickly in a way that ordinary people could not think of. Three years ago, the COSMO editor team went to Yu Xiuhua's hometown for an interview, which was also the one she had accepted one of the few fashion magazines. To this end, COSMO has prepared for two years. Faced with COSMO, Yu Xiuhua talked about her views on feelings, desires, and life. In contrast to everything that happened at the moment, you will be surprised to find that this woman who lives and is frank has never betrayed themselves. Those who scolded her "love their brains" and persuaded her to "do a good job" how much she didn't know her -pursuing love is one of the meaning of Teacher Yu in itself. Some people say how high she used to be, and now she has a face. But in fact, she loved it from the beginning very sober and self. Yu Xiuhua told Cosmo three years ago: "Looking back at the end of life, you will feel that it is nothing, nothing, only a little trace of love and loved ones in our hearts." Three years later, three years later , Immersed in love, she said on Weibo: "It may not be fortunate, and it may not be life if it is lost. At this time, I should go all out. "When I love, I will be fierce, willing to confess to the world, let go without love, and stop loss in time regardless of malicious ridicule. Even if you know that you will be injured, love always loves. Teacher Yu will still look forward to the next man who is worthy of her.

After waiting for nearly two years, Yu Xiuhua finally agreed to the interview. Asked the size of the clothes she needed to prepare, and informed that she would bring the makeup artist, she immediately replied- "Let those who see all the ghosts." As a result, the interview team was streamlined into three. After turning around a series of transportation such as planes, bus, green leather train and taxi, we finally arrived at Jingmen for more than 20 minutes from Hengdian Village in the evening. Maybe because there were too many rumors before, on the way to step on, the photographer asked me: "If she is in a bad mood tomorrow, will we be kicked out in the middle of the shooting?" Hanging, I can only tell him that all possible psychological preparations are done.

I only listen to other people's words and can't take it seriously. My perspective, just their cognition and thoughts on me today does not mean tomorrow.

The interview agreed at 10 am.

There are many villages in China in China, including the well -known film and television city, and even one in Jingmen, but when it comes to "Yu Xiuhua", the driver has the bottom of his heart. Therefore, in terms of locals, it is called " Yu Xiuhua Village "is also indispensable, and can be separated.

As the only celebrity in this village being known across the country, the presence of "Yu Xiuhua" almost covers every space in the field. In addition to the wake -up goal of the village head, every morning, the horn will read her poems with a graceful broadcasting sound. These poems are also posted on the outer wall of each street small building, and even the corresponding English version. Her old house was also protected into a museum and opened from time to time.

Hengdian Village is a demonstration site in the new countryside of Hubei. Each small building has a large yard and a small vegetable land behind the yard. Yu Xiuhua's family is also one of them. As the signboard of Hengdian Village, Yu Xiuhua's home has to be reduced to a sightseeing point. Often, some people come to knock on her door. Most of the time, she will not ignore it because she feels that she has no obligation to satisfy others' curiosity, but if she feels that she has no obligation to satisfy the curiosity of others, but if she feels that One day, the weather is good, and she is in a good mood and will still receive them.

Of course, she would treat it solemnly. For our arrival, she got up early, slightly made a little makeup, painted orange -pink lipstick, and looked good in complexion and mood. It's just a carefully matched short white wool outer hairy hair, sticking to a lot of black skirts, she laughed at herself: "It is cheap and no good."

On this day, it was also the day when Yu Xiuhua's fishing ponds were collected. From time to time, someone came in and out. When I heard that the media in Beijing came, everyone would greeted or curiously to see a few glances here.

In order not to let the light in the house too dark, the living room and the door of the backyard were opened. The last week of the rainy day, the wind passed through the wind in March, and it was still cold. I just got up and closed the door. She said, "Don't turn off, let the wind take your lust ... Let it blow it to me On your body. "Everyone was amused by her, and had to continue rubbing her hands under the blessing of poetic ...

In the past three years, Yu Xiuhua has lived an inexplicable life: after a period of time, he will go out to do some inexplicable things with some inexplicable people, such as the invitation or answering many inexplicable emotional calls and unexpected home visits of many poetry clubs. "Or the world is inexplicable to see me, and want to exercise me into an unsightly person."

As long as she doesn't go out and travels, she trys to make herself comfortable every day. "I can't wake up naturally, I can't get up in bed." I read a book during the day and wrote at night. After dinner, I went out for a walk for 4 kilometers. Some long videos, movies, documentaries, or various ghost films to promote sleep ... This is almost the same.

COSMO: How much time is used every day in writing?

Yu Xiuhua: I did not stipulate how many words I wrote every day. If I want to write it, I do n’t write if I do n’t want to write. My time is so good that I do n’t sleep before twelve.

Cosmo: I live very freely every day. Is there no pressure in life? Yu Xiuhua: Pressure everyone has it, but for me, the pressure is not from life. I can live well in the countryside. Material needs, but not big, my money is spent on clothes, skin care products, and books, and it is gone. I usually feel distressed when buying more than 300 clothes, and the most expensive coat is one thousand.

Cosmo: Where does your pressure come from?

Yu Xiuhua: I am particularly worried that I am a popular poet. Many people in this industry think that my poems are very popular in society, but from the perspective of literature, it is not good enough. In fact, even if your literature is enough, your attitude in life will make these people disdain you. Although the recognition of these people is a fart, it is contradictory. I hope that my poems can be popular and I want to be recognized by the literary world. This is difficult to do.

Cosmo: Do ​​you follow others' comments on your works?

Yu Xiuhua: Many people say that my poems are not good before. I don't admit this, because the previous poetry records the previous life and the state. If you still repeat, what else is it necessary? I am more persistent in love and despair, so in the past, some people said that the poems I wrote were too hard. Now, I want to love but dare not love. Without a particularly deep feeling and thorough determination, poetry is naturally weak. Let's let it go, and confused, anyway, I can't solve it for the time being. I feel that I have been writing this piece, and there will be different creative methods and forms. To be honest, I am not writing novels, but I am not inferior. When you realize that you are not writing well, your space is greater. I believe that persistence is victory, just like I wrote poetry and wrote for more than ten years, and was finally known by others. Everything came from persistence.

COSMO: Someone compares you to Emily Dkinson in China?

Yu Xiuhua: I only listen to half of the words of others, and I can't take it seriously. My perspective, just their cognition and thoughts on me today does not mean tomorrow. I have read the poems of Emily Dkinson, and I don't think she write well. Her character is completely different from me, she is not as public as me. The reason why there is such a association may be because we are all in a closed environment and express the things we have experienced and felt. In fact, my life is not so closed. An open -minded closed.

COSMO: Which of the pros and cons?

Yu Xiuhua: Now the media form of this society will not bury any one. This is a lucky. Famous is definitely better than not famous. Everything is double -sided. The more benefits you get, the more disadvantages will be. For me, my reputation has never been so good. From the beginning, it has been half -reputable. This is also suitable for me. It is terrible to set up a person without flaws.

In any case, I hope that I can be a talented person. The so -called talent is that you have the idea that you are different from others.

In order to greet the neighborhood of helping fish, Yu Xiuhua drank a little wine at noon, her face was slightly red, and she asked her to have a large amount of alcohol. She said that she was a person with a bile and no alcohol. Perhaps like her love, "burning" the flame -like flames that made people feel heartbeat on the paper, and buried her head deeply in the sand like an ostrich.

COSMO: "Going to Most of China Going to Sleeping You" is your famous masterpiece, and it also makes you controversial. But do you think this is exactly the purest male and female relationship in your mind?

Yu Xiuhua: Yes, there are still a lot of spray scolding me. Sometimes I think why do these people who do n’t know each other scold me? Did I touch their interests? Did you touch the moral bottom line of Chinese people? Going through most of China to sleep with you, I think it is a very pure relationship between men and women. If I just want to sleep alone, just find one around me to solve the problem. Go to sleep? It is precisely that I love this person. I must sleep with him instead of others, so even if the gunfire rains, I have to go to sleep. I think this is the loyalty and preciousness of love, dedication and persistence.

Cosmo: So love will be your eternal theme of your poetry?

Yu Xiuhua: Looking back at the end of life, you will feel that it is nothing, nothing, only a little trace of love and loved ones in our hearts.

Cosmo: What kind of love do you want?

Yu Xiuhua: Love is to find the soul that matches me. If you think you can't find love in your life, it may be that your soul is too noble, and no one is worthy of you. My love is usually like this: When I start to like him, he will feel that I am too violent and dare not accept it. When he feels slowly to me, I am not interested in him again. when. I never think that love from one end is beautiful. Love is a very fantasy thing. It is not possible to say that it is broken when it is said. It is a beautiful imagination that exists in my heart. It is love. If one day, I don't want you anymore, I change someone to think, that is also love. Love is eternal in our hearts, but the object of love may constantly change. No matter how much you have love with you, you must be sure of your love when you have love.

COSMO: "My little lover is in the distance ... I hope he will never drive to see me, so I ride a donkey, carry a shoulder peach blossom, and lust ..." Why use the "lover" this phrase? For two people who are also single, few people now use it. Yu Xiuhua: I think the word "lover" is very good. I do n’t want to get married, I ca n’t accept my intimate relationship. I want to stay with a person every day, and I will die. There is no room for two people to be terrible. No matter how good people are, they will be tired, so don't surpass the relationship between the lover.

Cosmo: Are there any people I like now?

Yu Xiuhua: Yes, I like someone who likes someone. I don't understand how someone can secretly love it. I can't hold it. But I know that one day, he will tell me, "Teacher Yu, I have a girlfriend." There will be this day.

Cosmo: Will you worry about it?

Yu Xiuhua: This is something that will happen. They said that you don't consider so much, you can take the initiative to take the initiative. But what kind of person are you, you must be clear, can you be responsible for him, help him, or bring any harm to him. When you think of these, I feel incomparable. I am not a problem with me, because my psychological age is twenty years old. I was worried that one day I was suddenly gone, and he would be sad in this world alone. If there is no disability, there is no obstacle to old and ugly. This is the main factor in my boyfriend so far, and I have either ends.

Cosmo: You also said in the poem that you won't you like a person for more than three days?

Yu Xiuhua: Three days are just a literary metaphor. The real thing is actually three years. Today, you come to interview me. I like him. Maybe it ’s another person next time. It’ s not important to change. People feel that long love is a virtue, but I think long love is dragging others. It is very contradictory, I actually have more painful love when I cut love.

Cosmo: This is indeed contradictory with your perception of you.

Yu Xiuhua: I belong to the people who are at home, but there are no people. Everyone who knows me knows that I am a very traditional person. Many of my views are advanced, but behavior is backward. I can understand the thoughts and behaviors of many people, but I can't become the kind of person. For example, after I know a man, whether he knows if I like him, I will basically not go out to entertain again. I think the second pair is disrespect for people, and your respect for others, that is, respect for yourself.

I am not to pursue the liberation of women, but my personal liberation. Of course, my personal liberation has also liberated a group of people. People seeing my role models are also a kind of encouragement for her/him.

Perhaps because of knowing our visit, the horn in the village continues to play Yu Xiuhua's poems, which makes her feel a little annoyed. "I wake up and hear the words" Yu Xiuhua "every morning. Scolding. "She picked up her mobile phone and called the village branch, but did not results. So everyone got up to the field outside the village.

She sang Luo Dayou's "Dream Chaser" loudly: "Let the wandering footprints write permanent memories in the desert, and the traces of the floating wiping are deeply passionate your heart ...", She joked her singing like Zuo Xiaozu's mantra, but she was a little shocking, but she would jump upwards occasionally.

Cosmo: Will you go out outdoors to find a book when the weather is good?

Yu Xiuhua: Don't go, it's "pretend". But the highest state of pretending is that others can't see it.

COSMO: Is the physical inconvenience imprisoning you?

Yu Xiuhua: When I was a child, the only benefit of physical disability was to bring me more time and space to think. When I thought, I would find the questions I thought, and I could find the answer in the book in the book. It is unfortunately unfortunate for disabled people like me, because the feelings of suffering in my heart are much more than those who are equally incomplete in other bodies. Under such circumstances, you can only find one exit. My hand is not good, I will not play mahjong, I can only write. I am a very ordinary person who wrote poetry, but God did not doze off. He took me to you and let you know that there is a Hengdian Village in this world. There is a ugly Yu Xiuhua in the village. Well written. Why must we write poetry? I am not to pursue the liberation of women, but my personal liberation. Of course, my personal liberation has also liberated a group of people. People seeing my role models are also a kind of encouragement for her/him.

COSMO: You said in the book that you are a person who is easy to get tired, because people and things can't keep up with the speed of your change?

Yu Xiuhua: I feel tired of being a kind of nature. My hobbies are not much, and I do n’t have much experience. What I can adhere to is words. I am actually a pessimist. I asked myself to see and thoroughly see everything. I know why it happened and knew its results, but I still did it.

Cosmo: Few people have the courage to face that bad result?

Yu Xiuhua: It is not courage, it is natural. The so -called courage is character.

Cosmo: Sometimes I feel deeply inferior from your text?

Yu Xiuhua: Inferiority or arrogance is a personality. Some people have nothing. They just feel that they are better than anyone else. That is also a kind of arrogance. It has nothing to do with it. My inferiority has always been there. COSMO: There are many people who come here now. What are the criteria for. What are the criteria for your friends?

Yu Xiuhua: There are actually very few friends. Many people are unwilling to make friends with me. I feel that I dare to write too much. They are afraid that they will be written in. My male friend is more than female friends. I can't move my male girlfriend, but they are still good to me. Female friends can't do it. If you don't pay attention to saying something wrong, you will turn your face with you. My physiological defect is the handle of others. I have been attacked, so I rarely get my heart with women.

Cosmo: Some readers advise you not to write a small "yellow" poem, and you have rejected it. The little "yellow" poem is the confession of your teasing life?

Yu Xiuhua: Xiao "Yellow" poems are also very difficult to create. Only when I think there is nothing to worry about, when I do n’t expect, and I miss it in my heart. When you have someone you like in your heart, you won't write it.

COSMO: You said in the book, "I am so proud of the vigorous sexual desire is actually the same as many people." Usually, when a person becomes famous, he will not talk about this problem again. sensitive?

Yu Xiuhua: Whether you are ugly, good or bad, can you live sincerely and truly? I think those who pretend to be X Fan'er will regret it sooner or later, and you dare not face your body? Intersection

COSMO: In the Internet era, it reveals its own "desire" sometimes attracts a lot of criticism?

Yu Xiuhua: If you have desire to indicate that your body is still healthy, you have finished the egg without desire. What others love to say, I can't control it. I used to be very bad because of those who criticized me, but how could you be sad and could not change the facts. From another perspective, you think that you provide topics for others. It is also a service and a merit.

When I was young, we shouted slogans: Long live. Now I think ‘understanding’ is really terrible. Everyone understands you. Are you a fart? But in any case, I hope that I can be a talented person. The so -called talent is that you have the idea that you are different from others.

This year's spring is a bit late. The scenery on the roadside is not beautiful, and there are few green branches. Yu Xiuhua accompanied us to walk around the village for a long time, teaching us to distinguish the camphor trees and wild vegetables. Occasionally, I slowly bowed my head and said: "I don't want to go," seeing everyone really want to go back and laugh again: "Luck you."

The cat's eye grass on the side of the road has grown a large blockbuster. As she picked it into her mouth, she reminded us: "Poison, don't eat it." "What about you?" "I want to die." "Do you really want to die? "She paused:" If you want to get wisdom, you will leave and become a Buddha. "" I sometimes think that in different places in different places, it is different. In the same time, people Over -day aging and eventually die. Some people are childlike, and some people have a white head overnight. How much do they have to do with time? Some people say that the width of life is actually the width of time, which is what we do in time, the problem we want to think about in time, what we want to think about in time, what we want to want Of course, I didn't do anything in this sunny afternoon in this sunny afternoon. I didn't think about any problems, but why did I come here for no reason? I will spend the future in this silence and loneliness. Where does this stable and calm come from? There is no answer to this question, nor should there be an answer. "

Cosmo: Do ​​you believe in the soul? Previous and reincarnation?

Yu Xiuhua: I often think, do people have souls? This is a very wonderful thing. I would rather believe it. If you do not believe in the soul, there will be no previous life and reincarnation.

Cosmo: If you leave this world and go to another time and space, what are you reluctant?

Yu Xiuhua: I have nothing to reluctant now, there is nothing, but I hope to have it in the future.

Cosmo: What do you say to leave this world if you want to get wisdom, what is the difference between cleverness and wisdom for you?

Yu Xiuhua: The so -called cleverness is small clever, wisdom is great wisdom. I am a little clever, belongs to the type of person who is in the family, and the care is comparable. I must report it. The wisdom people are not accounting for small gains and losses.

Cosmo: For example, who is wisdom in your eyes?

Yu Xiuhua: Buddha. The realm of practice to the end is actually a big wisdom. Of course, the process of practice is very important. You can have great wisdom. When you have experienced all you are still innocent, it is true. I have read a book and said that after many writers see through the world, they will be silent and no longer write. The real masters are not expressed. Others wrote wrongly and read him wrong. He also feels good -that is your understanding, not my mistake. When I was young, we shouted slogans: Long live. Now I think "understanding" is really terrible. Everyone understands you. Are you a fart? But in any case, I hope that I can be a talented person. The so -called talent is that you have the idea that you are different from others.

Cosmo: One day, will you suddenly disappear from our "sight"? No more poems and news about you?

Yu Xiuhua: This possibility is very small. I mean, I am very likely to get great wisdom. This is an opportunity.

COSMO: So still go to the ideal middle school tour in worldly life and text?

Yu Xiuhua: No one can really abandon the secular life. You said that you do not receive readers, do not receive journalists, and do not attend the event, you really abandon the secular life?No!You are still in the world.The best way is to let it go, saying that he doesn't care about anything, but deliberately.Text Source: "Fashion COSMO" May 2019 issue

Edit: Qu Na

Text: Shen Duo, Emagn

Photography: Chen Yan

Image Source

Fashion cosmo / Sina Weibo

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