Statium | How to talk to children about death

Author: Assistant Professor of the Social Science Center of Yuan Chang Geng Southern University of Science and Technology

Death and disease, under the continuous "increase" of the new crown epidemic, seem to be seen and discussed more frequently, and entered a larger scope of public opinion. But can we really talk about death? We seem to understand what life is and how to accept death when the child grows up. But our neglect of death education makes it easier for the current children to feel at a loss when facing death.

When you are young, you must know the "death proposition"

The new generation of children or youths, their concepts have changed a lot, which is related to the changes in the entire society in the past 40 years. We successfully shaped a society in an individual sense. After the 1990s, our children's growth in the entire growth process was the competition of academic studies. This competition was launched in the form of absolute individuals. We are really successfully convinced of one or two generations now. His position today is the result of his ability to struggle with his own ability. In the future imagination, he will also think that this position is competitive.

Strictly speaking, I feel that there is no death education, only life education. Sometimes our children may not only be more indifferent to death, but also more indifferent to life. He is not only unhappy about the pain of others, but also may not feel about some things worthy of rejoicing or really touched. At least at the level of discourse, it is difficult for us to restore the necessity of connection between people.

Death education does not allow children to digest death completely, or keep them no longer fear and sadness, but tell them that there is a door. If necessary, the child can push it away. The things in the door are not much different from ancient times to the present. It is nothing more than an explanation based on the view of the universe or religious and spiritual life. It also includes the support of social networks, including relatives and non -relatives. s things. No one can face death alone.

My educational concept is that when people are young, they can talk about many problems and can expand knowledge unprecedentedly. Once we really enter the stage of working for life, one is that we may no longer have strength, and the other is that we will instinctively protect our current life and are not willing to enter a relatively negative issue discussion. Therefore, for a proposition such as death, it is best to prepare when you are young.

There should be a mechanism between family members. For example, after the funeral, the family eats meals together. At this time, everyone will sort out the experience of this matter through the name of reviewing, or in the name of reunion. When they return to their little family, there should be a small family internal discussion space.

The cartoon did not tell the child that "there is regret in the world"

When my mother died, I was only seven years old. I just went to the first grade of elementary school. I didn't have a concrete idea about the concept of "what is lost". When you are too young, you have not yet formed a personality will, and experience the death of your loved ones. The first reaction of the people around is to protect you, not to mention it to you, and afraid to stimulate you. But when I was separated from this topic by the whole family, I knew it was impossible to be isolated, because a person who was so intimate was gone, and I was soaked in that place deeper. This is a very long process of self -dialogue and awakening.

Therefore, I think there is a sufficient, continuous, and continuous dialogue space. Many things we say will not be completely resolved, but if you don't say, there is no possibility of resolution. Therefore, it is very important to form a narrative of self and form a narrative to the world. Later, I thought, why I firmly studied liberal arts, and to learn anthropology, because I was very obsessed with re -narrating the world and reappearing this world. This is the only thing I am interested in.

In foreign countries, the death education of adolescents is a special field. In fact, sometimes they do not let children understand death, but start with more specific questions, such as letting you experience losing something.

I have watched a Japanese movie "Little Pig Classroom". In a primary school, the classmates raised a pig together together, from the first grade to fifth grade. By the fifth grade, everyone must vote in the whole class, should they kill the piglets or sell it. In this process, no matter what language you use, he will suddenly enter the core of this problem -some things are deprived of, and it is a beautiful thing you care about.

Therefore, in children's education, many times they need games, they need them to participate, and special designs are needed. One of the important questions is whether the teacher can directly enter the core of the problem without adult language. I think that teaching micro points in universities is not particularly difficult. What is really difficult is that a five -year -old child understands that two apples are here, three apples are there, put them together, this process will be It is called "Added". The core problem of enlightenment is not a language problem, but to make children realize that the world has a way to imagine the world.

I think of those domestic cartoons I watched as a kid, they are not too taboo about death. I have watched a cartoon called "Snow Children" before. That film is too abused. It is about a very thorough loss. You can't recover, and its entire color is dark, some blue blue, some blue blue blue, some blue blue blue blue, some blue blue blue blue, some blue blue blue blue, some blue blue blue blue, some blue blue blue blue, some blue blue blue blue, some blue blue blue blue, some blue blue blue blue, some blue blue blue blue, some blue blue blue blue, some blue blue blue Color, there is no way to give people any good expectations. After entering the new century, we often feel that the child needs to be protected, and some things cannot be exposed. When I watched the current cartoons with my relatives, I think such cartoons are really wisdom. It does not tell children. Some things in this world are regrettable. No one has a way to make it perfect. These cartoons are actually the truth of adults who think they are self -righteous. They bring human self -deception and self -pleasing themselves. In a very warm way, they deviate from this matter step by step. I do n’t say that in the education of children, I need to use some very irritating, naked language, but in terms of value concept, he should realize that some things should start to take root slowly, such as the shortage and incompleteness of the world in the world. Essence

The ultimate purpose of death education

I met a American teacher in Hong Kong and studied Chinese parenting problems. He said: I see a good quality in the Chinese people. When facing the uncertainty in the future, parents do not know if there will be a result of doing one thing, but I will do this first to do this I have a clear conscience because of doing it. The piano allows the child to learn, and the ballet also allows the child to learn. As for the good school, it is the child's own problem.

We have been avoiding some brave issues in this way. Because the "escort" of the child in the real sense is to take him into a cruel part of the world. This cruelty is not the competition between people, or the high and low capital of this competition, but the fragility of humans, which may break at any time. So we live in this world to talk to our own fragility. This problem is hard to be resolved. Don't you keep bringing some of your life to your eyes? You keep watching and chatting constantly. In the end, it is not to form a weapon that penetrate it, but to achieve the calmness of your heart.

In the face of death, this peace is important. This is also the ultimate purpose of death education. If he can finally persuade himself, persuade the surroundings, and reach such a calm state, I think this is already a very good result.

Source | Jingbao APP

Edit: Chen Jianguo

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