Super single society is coming: Is it a public harm not to get married?

"In 2035, nearly half of the entire country in Japan will be single,

He is walking into a super single society. "

Arakawa Katsukawa, who puts forward the view of the "Super Single Society",

Known as the "first person to study single problems".

It has been 12 years in Arakawa's single research,

Except for official data from various countries,

He also conducts a quantitative survey of 20,000 to 30,000 people every year.

Communicate with many single men and women with different ages, occupations and states.

The deeper the study, he found that the seriousness of "single" became more and more prominent:

"Single does not just happen in Japan, just

The entire East Asia and the whole world are the same,

But Japan will face the earliest "single country" problem. "

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According to the calculation of the Japanese National Social Security and Population Institute in 2017, by 2035, the single rate (including unmarried, divorce, and widow) of everyone over the age of 15, and men and women will reach 48%

Source: Statistics of the Development of Civil Affairs over the years

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China's singularity situation is equally severe: wedding data has been declining for 8 consecutive years. In 2018, the data of the Ministry of Civil Affairs of China showed that the national single adult population has reached 240 million, "China exceeds 200 million people single", "late marriage is not married" Wuling up the entry frequently on the hot search

In May, the Chinese version of his new book "Super Single Society" was released,

A interview with an email Arakawa Katsu

I talked with his experience in Japan

This "single crisis" that swept the world,

And the phenomenon of declining childization and aging that is closely related to it.

"It is easy for everyone to blame all the blame to the unmarried person.

But is it really a social harm without marriage?

At least from the data, it is one -sided. "

Self -description: Arakawa Kazuki

Edit: Zhu Yuru

Responsible editor: Chen Ziwen

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Kagawa Kazakhstan has been invited to participate in many TV programs and public speeches

In 2010, the proportion of Japanese men's "unmarried rates", that is, the proportion of people who have not married at the age of 50 and are unlikely to get married in the future, exceeded 20%for the first time.

At that time, I was working on a market in an advertising company and began to pay attention to single issues. Later, I resigned and founded the "Single Economy. Cultural Research Institute". In a blink of an eye, it is the 12th year.

Faced with such a situation, there are always various blames in the society: Why don't you get married? Why not give birth to children? Young people are infertile infertility. The social environment is not good. Why do there not be more response policies?

Many people may not understand it, but in my opinion, the single and individualization of society is an irreversible trend, and there is no way to solve it.

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Japan's "wedding and childbirth show" for primary school students hopes to observe on the spot to make them feel the happiness of marriage, and in the future, they will be more willing to get married

In so many years, Japan has not worked hard to take action: fiscal funding to carry out various blind date activities, issue money to encourage fertility, and even promote marriage to elementary school students ...

But the end result is that in 2020, the single population over 15 years of age has reached 50 million, accounting for 44%. It can be said that the speed of entering a single society in Japan is faster than expected.

In this era, you can choose not to get married, give birth to children, divorce, live with a big family, and so on. This is the freedom everyone should have, and it has also become the responsibility of everyone to bear.

Rather than arguing whether it is "who's fault", it is better to face up to the status quo earlier and make a good plan for entering the "super single society" based on the actual situation.

The most basic point of understanding the intensification of monotherapy is: this is definitely not a matter of personal consciousness. The changes in economic models and employment have a great impact on this.

Source: "International Consciousness Survey Report on Little Society" made by the Japanese Cabinet Mansion in 2015

In fact, according to the 2015 survey data of the Japanese Cabinet Mansion, more than 65%of the Japanese who have the willingness to get married at the age of 20-49, which is basically unchanged compared with the investigation in 2010 and 2005. Among them, the proportion of men with strong willingness is much higher than women, which are 71.7%and 60.5%.

In the same year, I initiated a post discussed on the state of life of single men and received 16,000 responses. Most of them said:

"I don't want to get married, but I can't get married."

So why can't these people who want to get married, especially men, can't get married?

Reason 1: The ability to get married without yourself

You know, at the end of the last century, Japan was a country that was "married all of the people", and the lifelong unmarried rate of men and women did not exceed 5%. What do they get married?

In 1987, the second year of the implementation of the "Men and Women's Employment Opportunities", Japan's lifelong unmarried rate surged. It can be seen that most men can get married because for women at the time, marriage is a major thing that is related to their own survival.

At the same time, the era of "marriage of the whole people" is also a period of high -speed economic growth in Japan. The company implements a lifelong employment system and annual skills sequence system. Everyone's life path is relatively single and stable. Naturally, it is easy to plan for marriage and child.

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Similar to the situation in Japan: a questionnaire survey of 600 young people in 2019 found that more and more men became passive in love

A married man over 60 years old has always enjoyed the grace of the times, but they did not find that if the environment is not necessary to prepare for marriage, they cannot get married by their own abilities. In fact, no matter what era, people with love ability, men and women account for about 30 %. Without the preparation and encouragement of the social level, "the weak in love" is difficult to get married. Various love and dating apps that are very popular now, in my opinion, are only applicable to "lovers".

The continuous epidemic in the past three years has been worse -the opportunity of young people has been deprived.

You know, most of the young people who can get married are at 20-24 years old. Now because of the epidemic, it is impossible to meet the opposite sex and face face to face, so it is likely that in 2024, the number of marriages in Japan will decline significantly.

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In the Japanese drama "Tokyo Single Man", the discussion of the three gold single men

Reason two: Unrealistic expectations

Interestingly, the first marriage rate and single rate of men in the age of 40 have been rising, and it has increased more than 12 times from 1947 to 2014. The marriage target of "Uncle First Marriage" is women in their 20s.

In general, men want to find women who are more than 5 years younger than themselves. The actual men and women are almost married to the objects of their age, that is, the expectations of women are more in line with reality.

So when some single men always hang "I can't get married because I can't get married", but when I don't want to adjust myself, and complain about myself, I always feel helpless. Similarly, it is applicable to women.

Marriage is to be tolerant of each other.

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Blue dots represent countries with more university degrees than women. Red dots represent countries where women have more university degrees. From 1970 to 2050, the increase in red dots can be seen (chart: Albert Esteve, García-Román, Iñaki Permanyerer Data: Wolfgang Lutz)

Reason three: Marriage and single are because of money

Men feel that "you can't see your future, economic instability, and cannot get married", and women are considering "not to marry objects with no fixed income."

When studying the problem of contemporary singleization, a very important data is that groups with an average annual income can get married, and it is not easy to get married.

In Japan, this number is 4 million yen (nearly 200,000 yuan). Most of the men below this line are unmarried.

Behind this phenomenon is the opposition between men and women on marriage and single benefits.

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A "985 blind date" reported comparison of mate selection standards in men and women in the report, which is different from Arakawa observed that there are many differences between Japanese men and women.

Women think that the benefits of getting married are--

· Can make the economy more affectionate; (the number of people has risen year by year)

Men think the benefits of getting married more--

· Be able to be treated with the trust of society and equality;

· Life will be more convenient; (but a trend of decline year by year)

Women think that the benefits of single more are ———

· free;

· Maintain the relationship with friends and society;

The benefits of men more think are the benefits of being single--

· Economically more affluent;

· No need to support the family

It can be seen that the reason for women to get married is exactly why men do not get married. It is no longer a time when his wife serves her husband full -time. Women are reluctant to give up their social relationships. Men may not become more convenient even if they have married their marriage.

The transition period of Japan from "marriage of the whole people" to "unmarried by the whole people" is the era of bubble economy. Make money more happily than getting married. In fact, this idea is also common among young people now, and I think the same is the same in China.

In particular, more and more women want to gain a sense of self -identity and security by making money, and as the economy is stable, it feels that there is no need to get married.

I fully understand and support this idea, but I want to remind everyone what to know what the purpose of making money is, and having money and happiness is two different things.

In the end, I want to point out that singleization is not only unmarried, but also includes the increase in non -marriage, divorce, and widowed puppets, which are very complicated. Those who can get married will get married several times, and those who can't get married will not be concluded all their lives. This phenomenon of polarization will become more and more obvious.

I believe that everyone has heard about the problems of Japanese declining childization and population aging. Some institutions predict that by 2050, the Japanese population may be less than 100 million, and more than half of them will be the elderly.

Under such a strong sense of the last days, it is easy for people to blame all the blame to those who do not get married, and even extremely believe that the more "the more unmarried people, the more dangerous the country is." Although this idea is not understandable, it is one -sided from the data.

In the first place, we must consider those who cannot give birth for special reasons. According to the investigation of the Ministry of Health, Labor, Ministry of Labor and Ministry of Health in 2010, every 6 couples have one pair of infertility treatment.

Source: Japan's National Social Security and Population Institute "Japan Future Population Estimation" (December 2016)

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Japanese women born in 1950 were only 4.8%of the childless rate, while women born in 1990 reached 13.8%, which was almost three times the original.

Then, it is fantasy to solve the problem of declining childization through marriage.

Even if they get married, many couples will consider not having children for various reasons. This is their life and their choices. Instead of advocating "in order to solve the declining child, everyone should be married", it is better to give priority to building a new social system, so that people can have children even if they don't want to get married.

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The largest nursing home "Dandelion Care Center" in Japan is known as "Elderly Disney", with more than 250 activities, and the average daily cost is only 43 yuan

As for age, the global "death era" (the increase in the concentration of the elderly population enters the stage of death) will eventually come. By then, the population pyramid may be more balanced, and the population will not increase or decrease.

But Japan has to wait at least 80 years, and these 80 years are a difficulty period for the social security system. How to achieve soft landing is a question that countries including Japan need to think carefully.

In 2016, a questionnaire surveyed by Japanese popular magazines, which specializes in female readers around 30 years old, had conducted questionnaires. 90%of women said that they had "harassed because of being single" and compared to men's "single harassment" to them The preaching from married women put them more pressure. This news has attracted much attention for a while.

In the same year, a 67 -year -old married female member said to Mayor Fukuhara, who is still single, said, "I don't discuss with the unmarried mayor, please change to a married person."

It seems that the ridicule and ridicule of unmarried men does not attract enough attention. The workplace is still the main place of "single harassment".

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Yan Yi Yan Yue spit out marriage, the problem of "single harassment" is equally serious in China

In Japan, "there must be any problems without marriage", this sentence may affect the interpersonal relationship and promotion of unmarried people in the workplace. I heard a lot of things like this in a face -to -face interview.

Some people were labeled because they were labeled with "like solo" and "not teamwork". They were crowded up by colleagues as strange categories. They were ignored for a year and a half. In the end, they suffered from adaptive disorder and had to stop working at home.

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The Japanese drama "Escape is shameful but useful", which converts the full -time labor of Japanese full -time housewives at home to adult income, can reach 30.41 million yen (about 179,000 yuan)

Many unmarried men in Japan who are 40 or 50 years old have failed to be promoted to management because they were not married. "I won't cultivate their subordinates without raising a child, or is it reliable to marry." What is this fallacy? Is the married man be reliable? Is there really a child who has taken his own? Presumably push everything to his wife.

Take the survey data of the General Affairs of Japan in 2011, the average daily parenting time of the husband was only 5 minutes per day, which was only 2 minutes more than 10 years ago.

It is time to stop the filters of married people, and prejudice to singles.

The puzzlement and panic of singleization is because everyone thinks that everyone gets married, and it is normal to not divorce. In fact, that is abnormal.

Because in the era, there are only about 50 % of men and women who are willing to get married. In many periods of Japanese history, the divorce rate is much higher than it is now, especially in the Edo period. The divorce rate can now be ranked first in the world.

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Japanese law stipulates that the couple must use the same surname after marriage, and the wife is obliged to help her husband's family. Even if the husband has died, it is no exception.

In the Edo period, many people were unmarried for life. Because at the time, there was no tragic feeling for not being married, but in the singing life where everyone wanted to live according to their own values. Men and women are considered the same important labor force in the family. Even if women are doing housewives, the society recognizes their hard work and value in housework and educating children. It can be described as an extremely equal and independent ideal state.

Men and women are free in marriage, divorce, and remarriage. At that time, there were many people who divorced and remarried. There were even specifically specifically stipulated that "divorce should not be more than 7 times", and the divorce certificate was also regarded as a remarriage permit.

Looking at this, Japan's unmarried rate and divorce rate have risen, but it is just back to our original state.

"Waiting for loneliness to die if you don't get married!" Similarly, we can often hear. Having said that, is it really good to get married? In fact, we may become a person at any time.

Since 2011, Japan ’s special divorce rate (divorce registration is divided by the number of marriage registrations) has remained at about 35%. Because of this, the media often reported that "one of every 3 couples divorced."

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The "Divorce" in the Japanese drama "Two of the Divorce": The husband as a screenwriter is busy with work in his marriage and never cares about his wife in life. The wife lost the joy of self and life in this marriage.

There is a phenomenon behind this data that has been ignored, but I think it is very important that the marriage relationship that lasts for more than 20 years is gradually becoming normalized, and most of the divorce is actually proposed by the wife, and most of the time is husbands. Before and after retirement. In one case, the husband told his wife excitedly, "After retiring, we move to the island and enjoy the leisurely two -person world!" After listening to the sunny thunderbolt, he immediately said that he would divorce.

"I have always endured my husband to ignore the family's things at home. I want to take me to the island, and my life is completely around him. I can't even do something with my friends."

The deviation between the two sides is the root cause of "divorce".

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According to a survey by Japan's First Institute of Life and Economics, 60%of their husbands and women who are 60-79 and have spouses, 60%of their husbands said they "rely on their wives", and only 20%of the "relying on her husband", And 42% of the wife who said "not relying on her husband"

I personally suggest that men and women should divide their lives into three stages to live -30 years before marriage, 30 years of work or/family after marriage, and 30 years of family, and life after retirement. At a new stage, I re -examine myself and think carefully about how to go next.

The identity changes in the last two stages of the wives are relatively small, and the husbands must recognize that if they remove their work, income, and titles, what else is left? These three parts are indeed the basis of all identities in the 30 years of men. So, what "rebirth" can you do at the time of leaving the workplace and entering the 60 -year -old life?

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In Japan, suicide has become a "pervert" social issue. A "suicide tide" of the project of photographer Qian He Jianchi, the picture shows Dongxunfang, which often occurs in suicide cases.

Another data related to this is the amazing proportion of men after divorce. Most men in the number of suicide, and the highest suicide rate is divorced, followed by the widowed people, basically this is the case every year.

In short, everyone should realize that even if they are married now, they may return to single at any time. Single problems are not just things that unmarried people need to consider.

Whether it is unmarried, late marriage, declining childization, aging aging, or the increase in the number of divorce, they have developed together and related to each other with the development of the entire society to "single society".

This is a problem that everyone in the whole society is facing and unavoidable, and each of us should master the "ability to live alone".

1. We must first realize that single society is not living alone, but to adjust the structure to form a new community of family, regions, and companies, and self -reliance between individuals.

In the original family, it is easy for people to have excessive psychology. Although it is a child, a husband and wife, and a family, you may eventually be fantasy to want the other party to take care of himself. The weak data of the husband's weakness of the divorce and widowed puppets mentioned earlier is a typical example.

2. Therefore, to obtain the "ability to live alone", the premise is to establish a psychological connection with more people.

If a person does not establish a connection with anyone psychologically, then TA is like a child, and only rely on people who can see it in front of them. Once there is only one person left in real life, they will feel The world has abandoned and it is difficult to accept.

Regardless of whether there is a half or not, if we learn to establish contact with others, we will reduce the excessive dependence on a person or thing, and choose to rely on someone or something in different states and conditions.

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A reported house in Seoul, South Korea: 72 strange single men and women live with each other, and they can socialize the door when they go out of the door and establish contact with different people. This kind of shared cases are gradually becoming popular around the world

3. In a single society, we have ushered in a variety of family forms, and there is no longer only marriage and blood families. Instead, I feel that it is a good trend.

The Japanese royal family is a representative. They "enter a community" because of their hobbies and the same thoughts. Even if they do not have a relationship and live together, they can help each other and freely connect with people from different people. I think this new family form will be established in the near future.

4. Today, more psychological isolation is worthy of our attention than physical single. There was a survey for my father and asked my father "Where is the habitat of your mind in life?" Many father's answers are "toilets", "car", "bathtub".

5. Entering a single society, how to make each individual "individual" appreciate the sense of identity and achievement. The market's response is still very fast. Convenience stores, "one -person food", sharing economy, crowdfunding ...

Everyone's happiness warehouse is different, children, consumption, work, star chase, games ... we should recognize every form of happiness.

The key to happiness is not whether to get married, whether there are children, etc., but no matter what kind of state you are in, you have the ability to pursue happiness, and no matter how small you are, you can feel the ability of happiness to be happy. Essence

After all, getting married is the same thing, and single is the same thing.Don't think, go to action, and analyze too much about it.Only through action can we create options for their lives.Note: Guo Chaofen, a translator of "Super Single Society", also contributed to the interview

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