"Is it really my fault to force the person who loves her to fight hands." Otherwise?

Yu Xiuhua's self -reported that his family violence had come to an end.

Due to the quarrel between the two in the live broadcast room of Yang Chu Ce, Yu Xiuhua mentioned "Why don't you live a live broadcast when you hit me?"

In the interview with Yang, a third party who was commissioned by the upstream, Yang's speech completely fell to Yu Xiuhua.

What he said is:

"There are more than a dozen fans, there are heavy and light, but there is still a proper"; ";

"When I hit her, I was not unsatisfactory. If I got out of control, she couldn't post Weibo."

"Is it really my fault to force a person who loves her?";;;;;;

Why can he say such outrageous words? Because this is really a fastest belief in the heart.

Is the domestic violence unprepared for a moment? Not

"I know that it is wrong, but in that scene at that time, few people could hold back." This was Yang's original words.

Yu Xiuhua's Weibo also mentioned, "He is very good to me, but is irritable."

The Weibo released by Yu Xiuhua has been deleted

These words actually contain a concept, that is, the violence of domestic violence is occasional, depending on the situation, but only "her behavior after drinking", "scolded all of my family", " After insulting my personality with extremely vulgar language, I couldn't help but be able to do it.

If this situation is out of this situation, when the perpetrators are not so emotional, he will become a usual good partner again. Violent incidents are just small episodes that are not harmonious in daily happy life. As long as you can attribute this matter to the situation, it seems that the mistakes of hands are reduced.

Actually? Even if the perpetrators really obey the demands of the perpetrators, they will no longer be angry with the domestic violence for this reason.

There is almost no continuous family abuse.

Period of Tension Building: The abusers began to be angry, communicated with interruption, and the victims felt uneasy.

Acting Out Period: The concession and patience of the victim can no longer work, and the abuse of abuse and predictive predict occurring;

The Honeymoon Period: Apologize to abusers, pray for forgiveness, the two sides will abuse and communicate. The abusers may promise not to abuse in the future.

The Calm Period: The abuse stops, and the abusers perform as if the abuse has never happened. For example, a gift may be given to the victim. The victim believes or wants to abuse, and the abusers can change.

It is not the victims that have caused violence. On the contrary, in the typical model of abuse, most of the victims of domestic violence have been avoiding violence in the way of reflecting on the seriousness of themselves and diluting the seriousness of themselves.

The reason why people have domestic violence are the illusion that the violence is irritated because most of the causes of the situation of most domestic violence are the resistance, abuse, and obedience of the perpetrators, but this is just a manifestation.

When the tension period is about to end, victims often perceive violence that is about to happen. They would rather deliberately cause violence, and they could not stand the fear and anxiety caused by uncertainty.

The root cause of the repeated circulation of domestic violence is that the "violence" method in family life is a way for the perpetrators as a way to control and dominate partners [2].

There will be occasional physical conflicts in the quarrel in intimate relationships, but the fact that needs to be recognized is whether the two parties are equal, or is one party more powerful and power, unilateral violence?

From the perspective of the "Fan Pushes for more than ten times, there is a light and light" mentioned in Yang's statement, it is obviously the latter. This is not the lack of emotional management ability, not a momentary impulsive anger, this is deliberately beating people.

In the hearts of the majority of the violence similar to Yang, attack and violence are options, and they are the most extreme embodiment of their partners who want their partners to obey their will.

The "first domestic violence" signal worthy of vigilance

From the perspective of the results, the consequences of Yu Xiuhua were not treated violently. From a brief interview, Yang Chu Ce has also emphasized that he still "loves her" and emphasized that he is "well -known".

You have to plan on "Can't Beat",

Instead of "can't beat people to Weibo can't send Weibo" ...

However, the signal of the "first domestic violence" is very vigilant, and Yu Xiuhua's departure is correct.

In the past, there were many malignant domestic violence. After seeing those serious injuries or even murder, we thought that while the domestic violence did not leave early, we felt that Yu Xiuhua had excessive reaction. He felt that this was hype and farce.

##Screenshot under the comments

Regardless of the severity, these "first domestic violence" signals are worthy of vigilance [3,4]:

· Don't support you to leave your family, don't want you to meet your loved ones or friends

· Expressing jealousy or possessive desire, often blame you for infidelity

· Try to control your flowers, where you go, your wear

· Threat you with violence, and may even bring a tool, fork, pole and other appliances

· Make hitting, kicking, pushing, fan slaps and other behaviors for you, children or pets

· Forced you to have sex

· Due to violence, blame you, tell you that this is your fault

· You are scared when your partner is angry, because you can't predict the other party’s behavior

Yu Xiuhua is a special disabled person. She has a channel for her voice, but other disabled people will suffer more special forms of abuse in intimate relationships.

In fact, the probability of violent incidents including domestic violence, including domestic violence, is higher than ordinary people. The average growth rate is 3.7 times that of ordinary people, 9.79%of ordinary people, and 36.08%of the disabled people [6].

If you are a disabled person, some special abuse signals are:

· Shame your disability characteristics

· Don't be allowed to tell your feelings

· Refuse to help you complete the necessary life tasks

· Tree or threatening your medicine

· Demolition or destroy your mobile device

· Reasons for the disability as a reason for abuse

If you find the above signals in your daily life, be sure to ask for help from the people around you. When the first domestic violence appears, leave immediately. Compared with possible words, your safety is the most important.

The end of domestic violence,

Those who need perpetrators to admit their abuse

In this incident, because the man did not cover up, the public was easy to discover the truth of the matter.

However, more hidden malicious and hidden in the family is difficult to find out. Every domestic violence wants to push off their responsibilities, but only means, most of the domestic violence is more confusing, and the control of the abuse is more serious.

It is not easy to leave, and separation does not necessarily stop violence. It is even the most dangerous time after separation. Professor Betty Jo Barrett mentioned: "When the perpetrators say they want to leave this relationship, the perpetrators will try to upgrade the control strategy and force the victim to stay." [7].

To ensure the safety of the victims, the intervention of external forces requires joint protection of the police, women's federation, and psychological consulting services. What needs to be changed is that the perpetrators need not the victim, and this change does not require the victim to stay, and the victim does not need to become the savior.

Yang Chu Ce said in the response to Shanglin News: "Is it really my fault to force a person who loves her?"

if not?

This is not love. If you really love her, you should admit that he is a domestic violence, accept punishment, and receive psychotherapy, which can re -examine this relationship based on "love".

He didn't even have the courage to say, "As long as you have done it, it's my wrong"

The domestic violence is not completely impossible to change, but the real change is that the inner understanding of the former perpetrators has completely changed, knowing that the source of the violence of partner is the maliciousness of their inner heart, not the "partner, partner, and society." wrong".

It is a pity that Yang Chu Ce didn't know.

Most of the violence does not know.

references

[1] Rakovec-Felser, Z. (2014). DOMESTIC VIOLENCE and Abuse in Intimate Relationship from Public Health Perspective. Health psychology review, 2 (3).

[2] HOFFMAN, K. L., Edward, J. N. (2004). An Integrated theoretical Model of Sibling Violence and Abuse.

[3] https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-domestic-diolence/20048397

[4] https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/crime-info/types-domestic- Abuse/recognising-signs-domet- Abuse/

[5] Hughes, K., Bellis, M. A., JONES, L., Wood, S., Bates, G. Eckley, L., ... Officer, a. (2012). Prevalence and risk of violelenst adultsWith disabilities: a systematic review and meta -analysis of observational studies. The lancet, 379 (9826), 1621-1629.). DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST people with disabilities: Prevalence and Trend Analyses. Research in Developmental DisaBilities, 31 (6), 1264-1268..

[7] https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/TORONTO/DOMESTIC- VICTIMS-1.3885381

Author: Su seven years

Edit: Youzhi, Odette

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