Why are anyone afraid of success?

Everyone must give their own definition of "success". Clari Lei is a researcher who delayed psychology. She defined successfully as "timely follow the goal". From this definition, no matter what, as long as we are doing what we want to do, we will feel that we are successful.

"Follow the goal in time" will gradually lead you to the success of other definitions. At the same time, it can also allow you to feel success when you work hard.

However, the prolongers cannot follow their goals in time, so whenever they disappointed themselves, they feel failed. Even if the procrastinists have succeeded, they cannot fully enjoy their joy, because the joy of success has long been rushed out of the sprint by the end of the night.

Although no one else knows the success of the procrastinator, they know that they know -for them, it means that they still have not really succeeded. They blamed themselves without success and hoped to be relieved from the shackles of delay, but they often missed an important issue in self -blame:

They are actually likely to be successful and use procrastination to avoid success.

01

Are you afraid of success?

The desire for success is easier to identify than the fear of success, but if you can find your own figure in any of the following scenes, then you may be a person who is afraid of success.

Will you slow down in a smooth progress?

Do you feel anxious when you get a lot of recognition and praise?

When the manager proposes to promote you, will you start to want to be an invisible person?

Will other people's praise make you embarrassed, or make you worry and be cautious?

If you succeed in a certain field of life, will you make another field bad?

When things go well, do you think that bad things are going to come to the door soon?

If you have more opportunities to succeed in the family than others, would you worry about affecting a good relationship with relatives?

The above are only a manifestation of the success of fear.

No matter what these people mean to these people, why do some people always pursue success? When you find yourself destroying the success of your desire, you must feel puzzled.

We believe that when facing success, many delayers are often in conflict. They are afraid of the disadvantages brought by success, and they often don't know it. Most people who are afraid of success want to do things well, but the anxiety in unconsciousness makes them counterproductive. This anxiety is usually extremely subtle and cannot be directly perceived.

02

Escape the psychological reasons for success

Some people are worried that success will need to pay too much, far exceeding the scope they can bear.

Because you need to pay a lot of time and effort to pursue success, and you must be very focused, so some people think that they can't meet such requirements, and it is safer to stand in place.

Here are some situations related to this mentality:

Competition, casual you, it doesn't matter.

Because of the delay, the delayer seemed to have no interest in competition, and his return on victory was quite cold. The delayer often leaves the impression of "you casually, it doesn't matter" because they never do things.

People who are afraid of failure are unwilling to participate in competition because they are afraid of being seen by their weakness and incompetence. However, people who are afraid of success are unwilling to participate in the competition because they are afraid of winning, so they hide their ambitions by delaying.

They believe that the competition itself is a problem, so they postpone the job search letter so that they have affected their job search; they postpone participation in marathon training, so that they have become insignificant in the competition; they postpone the study and believe that "the grades are not that so at all. Important, so that you can't get your degree.

03

Maybe you have been using procrastination to escape, because you are with the above fear. These situations have a common tendency, that is, you think you must make choices between success and love.

If you become a workaholic that does not care about others, who will be willing to be your friend?

If you get a success that you do n’t deserve, do n’t others think that you are too rough and avoid it?

If you are too perfect, who would be willing to accept you as one of them?

If you foresee that success will make you encounter trouble or isolated in interpersonal relationships, then you may not want to take this danger at all.

So how do you conclude that success will push people from you from you? Because you think your achievements may have a bad impact on your family, or you assume that this happens.

For example, when you feel that when you have achieved some achievements, your brothers and sisters may be jealous or left out. Your family may lose its original balance, and your parents may feel uneasy.

In the end, you come to the conclusion: If your achievements are not so great, you will be happy. Regardless of whether these ideas come from your actual experience or from thinking, they will apply significant restrictions on the way you strive for success.

When thinking about delaying and fearfulness, you can try to take a step back to look at your situation more objectively. Remembering this may be helpful to you: just because something you are afraid does not mean that they are real at the moment, nor does they mean that they will always be real. At the beginning, you assume that success will cause you to be isolated, but if you re -check this assumption, you will be surprised to find that not everyone will oppose you because of your success -someone will definitely take for your success. Happy and celebrate with you.

Of course, some people don't like your success, even some people who are closely related to you. If so, then you must face this problem:

Can you keep moving forward regardless of their complaints and their alienation of you?

Without their support, can you still continue to go on?

Remember, success is not achieved overnight.

When you start to solve the psychological anxiety that causes delay, you will move towards your goals. When you move forward, you may have a contradictory psychology of fear of success again. Progress is to say no habit of self -frustration.

Don't be surprised when you go forward two steps, or take two steps forward. When you understand that you can coexist with success, success will not bring you the expected disaster. On the contrary, your way forward will be smoother.

In this book, Jane Bok and Lenora Yuan, based on their highly praised and pioneering delay workshops, and rich theories and experiences from many psychological counseling fields, have made a detailed and detailed, comprehensive, and in detail Careful, sometimes it is quite humorous.

They found 4 most likely to cause procrastination: insufficient confidence in success, hate being assigned tasks, dispersed and easy -going, goals and returns too far away. By analyzing the deeper reasons behind delay and research on the neuroscience of the brain, we can re -understand the delay and understand how to take action in a new way.

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