When I understand my trauma, I am no longer afraid of "falling in love"

A few months later, we took a walk in the afternoon as usual. I said that no one hugged us when I was a kid.

I am talking about ‘us’ instead of ‘you’.

The two of us sat down and cried.

——

Speaking of psychological counseling, I think my experience is particularly worth sharing.

Why do you say that?

Maybe most of the cases of psychological counseling are depression, unfortunate native families, or some very large life changes.

The reason for me to do psychological counseling is very common.

Simply put, that is: I am in love.

right! That's right! Lost!

Is it very common and very simple.

For me, psychology is not a very strange thing.

I have felt that psychology has been a very magical and great science since I was a child. It can be said that I have a strong interest and trust in the huge discipline of "psychology".

So when I found that I was unable to extricate myself in a painful mood for a long time, I think the current state affects my daily life. I don't want to continue. I think of psychological counseling.

This is the first point about psychological counseling. For everyone, psychological counseling is what you can do as long as you think that there is a need.

When we are in a bad mood, we will talk to friends when we are in a bad mood. It ’s no different from finding things to accompany family, traveling, and singing. This is just a way to ask for help and help.

01

Psychology is science. When you are trapped, you can choose to believe in science

Some people around me did not trust psychology, and felt that it was guessing.

I am not a psychological background, but I have read a little less or less, and show off the opinions of a professional amateur.

1. Psychology is definitely not guessing

From the perspective of my amateur, the information I can get in the book is that scholars use the objects of the experiments such as animals, volunteers, etc. for a period of time or long -term observation, monitoring, summary, and analysis. Conclusion.

There is no difference between the methods and methods involved and medicine, and they are all scientific conclusions obtained from experimental thinking.

2. Believe in science

There are many psychological operation manuals on the market, which may help us to save themselves to a certain extent.

However, as a non -professional person, I read the book and felt that it was only cure the standard. Many content books did not say so much, and could not be blindly defined by myself.

My understanding is that I know that eating cold granules can cure colds. The instructions also talk about ingredients and adaptive symptoms, but if I don’t understand what I have taken medicine, I may temporarily relieve pain. Will go more and more.

When I consulted my various experiences and behaviors, when I looked back at the methods and methods in those books, I could judge which one is suitable for me, because I know my inner logic.

Before that, it was like a barefoot doctor to see a doctor by experience. It is best not to try blindly.

Psychology is science. Believe in science, believe it!

02

I believe the consultant, speak freely

Maybe because I like it and trust psychology. Therefore, after I decide to consult, I will make myself believe in the consultant subjectively, and soon establish a good interactive relationship with the consultant. (The money is spent, I don’t believe the consultant still guess it blindly.

When consulting, in the face of some feelings and ideas that are embarrassed to say, I will hesitate, but I will tell the consultant that I am struggling with something. I will be shy, or fear, or worry about being rejected.

My consultant will tell me sincerely that I can not worry. When he encountered a problem that he couldn't deal with or couldn't be sure, he would tell me sincerely that he didn't know the answer.

But he is willing to find the answer with me, and this "real" is also one of the sources of my sense of security.

Even if I think it is impolite, I will encourage myself to speak out and tell the consultant frankly.

For example: I think the recent communication method makes me uncomfortable. How can I not be comfortable? What kind of feeling do I want to get? How does the environment of the consultation room affect me? What is the frequency of consultation? Canceling the impact of consultation on me? Wait, I will communicate frankly with the consultant.

I think that if you feel that the consultant in front of you is not suitable for himself, you should also communicate rationally with the consultant. I believe that the professionalism of the consultants must not hide it.

In the process of consulting, it is important to let the consultant understand what he thinks, thinks, and feels. Only in this way can the consultant help himself better.

I always keep in mind my purpose to seek help, and communication expression is one of the important ways to let the other party understand.

Psychology does not rely on guessing, nor is it to know what others think.

Therefore, communication is very important. You can also determine the goal of consultation from time to time through communication, so that you and consultants can think more about thinking and work.

During the consultation, I have always had the habit of writing a diary, which allows me to record what I want to talk about with the consultant. To a certain extent, I also help me sort out my ideas and let me heal.

03

The process of consulting is amazing, this is a wonderful journey

I think I am a person with strong observation. During the consultation, the expression, movement and eyes of the consultant gave me a lot of power.

What impressed me most was:

When I smiled and told a inner story, what I felt in my heart was sad, sad, painful, shy, and grievances. I think others will feel that I am arrogant; my feelings are not worth mentioning; people who are worse than me Go more. But the consultant looked at me very seriously, and his eyes looked a little brilliant. He frowned slightly, pouting his mouth, and nodded heavily.

——In that moment, I can feel that he can repay with me; he accepts my feelings; I am accepted; I am safe; I am understood.

This is a novel experience for me, a beautiful experience.

In love, I failed to go out for a long time, and I even went to consult. At that time, I was a little ashamed of this. I thought that no one else had come to me. Such.

The performance of the consultant made me feel: I am not arrogant at all, my feelings are normal; I can enter the consulting room because of my love; I have the root of all the performances of my love.

When I felt this, I was completely free from the incident of falling in love.

The feeling of consulting is amazing. It seems that they are just chatting between the two, and the consultant may not even say a lot, but I seem to see a self that I never see.

In the book "I want to be happy, no need to be normal", the author has such a description:

"A few months later, we took a walk as usual in the afternoon. I said that no one hugs us when I was a kid. I said‘ us ’instead of‘ you ’. We both sat down and cried.”

The "us" here refers to the inner trauma of the author and the author.

In terms of text, my personal understanding is that the author adopts a anthropomorphic method to describe the inner trauma, express the process of acceptance of trauma, and reconcile with himself.

From the perspective of consulting experience, my personal understanding is that I also feel, see, and touch another myself during the consultation.

I think the "I" is hurt by me. I can touch her like a touch of the child, and this feeling is also what she needs.

I touched myself, I felt myself. This feeling was amazing and made me enjoy it. I got the power of unprecedented, raw.

04

Psychological counseling cannot solve all problems, but it teaches me a way of thinking, self -help and help

As mentioned above, the consultant also has problems that cannot be solved. Psychological counseling is not a panacea. It is like a crutch we need after being injured. The crutches assist us to live, but the eventual recovery is still relying on ourselves.

There are also many cases that cannot be cured in medicine, and there are many puzzles in psychology, not to mention that everyone has their own unique points, and science promotes our progress, but science is also in progress.

Psychological counseling does not solve all problems. We will not walk into the consultation room with wolf, and when we come out, we will rejuvenate the new life.

My consultation experience is like building blocks. Through the communication with the consultant, I can link my current feelings, behaviors, ideas and past things, so as to find the problem and be able to soothe myself.

When I am in a panic, I think first: What emotions do I feel? What does it trigger my emotional response? Have I had a similar experience? What happened at the time? What is my role? What do I feel?

When I can find the problem, I can better understand what I need, so as to give myself according to the actual situation. If it is a need for reality that cannot be resolved, I can also make myself more rationally accept reality.

Another me who felt during the consultation has always been with me, and she is always in my heart. When she feels uncomfortable, I will close my eyes, walk to her, sit down with her, hold her, and listen to her crying.

This is what I got after consulting, suitable for me. After getting this method, I gave birth to a lot of courage. I seem to get the armor and get the medicine for the treatment of the wound.

When I feel that I can go down myself, when I can't find my goal when I consult, I know that this journey is temporarily over.

In the face of the future, I was still a little uneasy. I went out of the consultation room and I grew some new growth, but there were some aspects that I was still me, but I accepted "I".

I don't know if my method can let me resist the wind and frost of life, but I know that when I need it again, I can ask for help, and of course I can ask for help again.

Now I think of the consultation with a wonderful feeling. I thank myself who had chosen the consultation. It was my choice that made me see myself and saw myself such a strong vitality and love.

Finally, sum up, the most important point for me when consulting:

做 I feel that I can do psychological counseling, no matter what. It's like a cold. When it is not good to drink hot water and take medicine, of course, we have to register to see a doctor.

信 Believe in science, believe in consultants, communicate frankly, and speak freely. Give yourself a chance to try, and give the consultant to understand you and help you.

很 The experience of consulting is amazing. Maybe everyone has different experiences, and even consulting may not completely solve the problems you encounter, but I personally think that if you think you need it, try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it, then try it. Never lose.

If you also encounter frustration in feelings, sad and sad, unable to extricate yourself, maybe our "psychological physical examination" service can help you more efficiently.

The "psychological medical examination" service can help you answer the puzzles such as "Is my situation serious" and "Can I get better?" After the physical examination is completed, the consultant will provide you with a suitable set of psychological health solutions.Training and so on.This time, you may start with knowing yourself and change yourself.

Psychological medical examination service is reduced to 129 yuan

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Picture source: "Thirty -Three Days of Love"

Responsible editor: yy, ying

▽ What is the psychological medical examination?

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