The secret to maintaining a happy marriage: not romance, not changes, but ...

Text/leisurely

What is happiness in the world of marriage?

Some people say that it is a tacit understanding of mutual understanding, some say that it is the guardian that depends on each other, and some people say that they grow up together ...

From the moment of choosing a lover, maybe, your mind is full of longing for the future of happiness.

However, the busyness and triviality of real life gradually replaced the past in the past.

From the original words, you can say nothing later, watching the feelings slowly faded until it disappears.

Endless regrets, too much helplessness starts with the silence of each other.

Think about it, how long have you not said goodbye to your lover?

There is a pain that "I don’t want to say"

Writer Liu Tong once said:

"There is a kind of loneliness I know you love me, and I know I love you, but I can't make you understand my inner feelings in accurate language. Even if I say it, you can't understand it."

Yeah, sometimes the more intimate lover, the more I can't speak, the more I am afraid that those words of the heart will become a stabbing weapon.

So, I chose to avoid it, thinking that this can not hurt you. I do n’t know those who seem to have long passed, but I have been pressed by you in my heart. I do n’t know if I will be turned out someday and cut my feelings into a piece of memories.

There is such a story.

At the funeral of grandma, Grandpa didn't shed tears, saying that grandma didn't love him.

The photo I saw in the unintentional in the grandmother's drawer has always been the thorn in Grandpa's heart.

In the future, the two were always mixed.

But every time the dispute is, Grandpa's phrase "Then go to the man in the photo" and end with the silence of grandma.

Until the grandmother's death, Grandpa found a book, which filled the beautiful clips when the two got along.

The old man wants to eat ribs, so I have to feed him;

The physical examination was drawn, and the old picture was a child drilling in my arms;

I danced with my old man today, so happy .....

At the end of the book, I wrote: Since seeing the photos, all this is gone. Old squad leader, thank you for going to the battlefield for me, so that I can reunite with my husband, but unfortunately he misunderstood his life.

Seeing this, Grandpa cried loudly and cried: "You are stupid, why don't you tell me!"

The truth finally surfaced, but unfortunately everything was too late.

Picture source: panorama vision

Faced with the various misunderstandings in real life, we are accustomed to instinctively escape, thinking that we can rely on time and slowly repair the cracks of emotions.

But ignoring time is also the most cruel thing--

After delaying the best time to explain, the best opportunity to miss the resolution, time will become the sister -in -law of the emotional emotion and witness the lover of the separation of the lover.

We always think that everything we do is for the person we love, until one day suddenly discovered that the other party had gone far.

So some words, just say it, take it time.

There is a kind of suffering that "you don't want to listen"

There is such a question on Zhihu: "What kind of marriage is the most painful?"

The most liked answers in the message: "My lover can talk to people very much outside, but I look at myself at home."

Living under the same roof, they live their own lives.

Silence, the couple who should have loved each other step by step into the most familiar strangers.

Think of the impressive scene in the short film "Strangers on the Table".

One day, the heroine cleaned at home and accidentally picked up her husband's recording pen.

She opened curiously, recording is the daily life of the two, most of which are the voice of the heroine:

"Help me win the remote control."

"Then you will go to bed sooner."

"Do you want to eat?"

"It's expensive now!"

Every time the husband's answer is a simple "um", there are only TVs, keyboards, chewing, stuffing and walking sounds in the recording.

This is a marriage that is happy, but silence has become the main element of life. Perhaps, this is also the epitome of most husbands and wives in real life.

As in a previously launched vote on the "first factor of hurting the relationship between the relationship between the husband and wife", the largest number of votes was not quarrel, derailment, and lying, but cold violence.

How many husbands and wives are going to divorce, and how many families are facing such a crisis.

Picture source: panorama vision

Think of a word that writer Su Bi once said:

"Happiness is probably a person who is willing to listen to you."

Unfortunately, under the pressure of life, such happiness turned out to be a luxury.

Maybe we did not realize that even if it was the lover who got along with each other, from the moment one side chose to close his ears, we laid a foreshadowing for future misfortunes.

Repeated perfunctory can repel the initiative, and the indifference will eventually extinguish the enthusiasm. A person can never support the happiness of the two people, and the feelings never suddenly fall into the separation.

Unfortunately, most people often learn to reflect on themselves until they lose, but the two hearts have been separated, and it is difficult to return to the past.

Then quickly open your ears and take it time.

There is a kind of happiness "I want to say, you want to listen"

Mr. Geterman, a professor of psychology, known as the "Marriage Pope" by the American media, used 40 years to study the 700 -to -husband and wives mode of getting along, and obtained 7 major rules for improving the relationship between husband and wife.

One of the rules called "approaching each other instead of staying away from each other" clearly states that a happy marriage is through communication and approach each other; and the exchanges are very small among couples who are preparing to divorce or unhappy marriage life.

It can be seen that communication is not only a link to maintain emotions, but also a magic weapon to stabilize marriage.

Think of a video that I watched some time ago.

The man was sitting in front of the computer and concentrated on work. Suddenly his wife came in and laughed while laughing at him:

"Husband, I encountered a funny thing outside just now, I laughed at me, hahaha ..."

I saw the man staring at the screen intently, hit the keyboard quickly with both hands, but naturally took over the topic:

"What's the matter, laugh so happy?"

At this time, noticing that her husband might be dealing with urgent matters, his wife put away a smile and said:

"Forget it, it's a small thing that is all garlic, don't say it, you are busy."

Unexpectedly, the man closed the computer, got up and handed the water cup on the table to his wife, and answered carefully:

"Hey, who happened every day, as long as you said, I am happy to listen, indicating that I am worth sharing."

The wife who took the water cup seemed to be bigger than just now.

There are no red wine roses, no fireworks music, and the young couple use the most common chat to create a full -screen romance. This is probably the taste of love.

Picture source: panorama vision

As in "Happy Marriage":

"The romance in real life is stimulated by interconnected methods. In trivial daily life, it prompts you to know that you are valued by your spouse every moment."

Yeah, for most people, life may be a chicken hair, but if someone is willing to talk to you and laugh, pick them up together, and make it a beautiful chicken hair, why not be a kind of happiness?

In the past, happiness always thought that happiness was a moment of romance, leaving a deep brand in each other's hearts;

Today, I understand that happiness is as long as you are by my side, using expressions and listening to resist the thin years.

someone said:

"Sometimes happiness is very simple, probably two people have endless words together, and someone is willing to listen to you."

Life is not easy. Each of us bears our mission and struggles in trivial gaps.

At this time, you may wish to sit down with your lover, talk about your own minds, and listen to the other voice of the other person. You will find that life is not only troubled, but also endless fun.

For feelings, time is not only a weapon for loving love, but also a tool for maintaining love, which depends on how you treat it.

Click "watching", I hope you and I can have this simple happiness.

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