A girl, 11 years after being disfigured by the pursuit

Open up

On the day Zhou Yan took me downstairs, the office of Beijing Chaoyang District was implementing home office, and almost no one walked around the entire building.

Through the glass door, the girl with long hair came, and she didn't wear a mask, and she could see the beautiful outline.

As long as you get a little closer, you can see the convex scars on Zhou Yan's face, wrap the lower half face, and form a eye -catching U -shaped protrusions below the mouth. On the skin covered by clothes, there are more and more eye -catching scars, entangled in her neck, chest, arms, and legs.

Hefei girl Zhou Yan has lived with these scars for nearly 11 years. In September 2011, 16 -year -old Zhou Yan was burned by the pursuit of Tao Rukun.

She still remembered her eyes in front of the ambulance, "it was black."

After 7 days and 7 nights, Zhou Yan was rescued. Then, she transferred to a medical aesthetic hospital in Beijing and experienced more than a dozen surgery, long and painful rehabilitation.

Zhou Yan didn't like the scar, she smiled generously and led me to a friend's studio. She held up the kettle and poured water, and her hand burned was serious. At first glance, she looked like a bark with mixed roots.

The right hand was not cut, the fingers were stuck together, and the amplitude of the thumb and index finger could not be opened.

Figure | Zhou Yan in a friend's studio

A few days ago, Zhou Yangang came to Beijing from his hometown of Hefei. Since 2012, she has been treated and lived in Beijing until she returned home in 2020 and was trapped at home by the epidemic.

This year, she took her self -examination and obtained a psychological major in a university in Beijing, but her family hoped that she would stay in Hefei and marry and have children like their peers as soon as possible.

Friends Wang Yanyun called Zhou Yan, and Zhou Yan said with low emotions: "They (family) think that I am a disabled and an old girl who cannot marry."

Wang Yanyun and Zhou Yan's mother talked once, suggesting that Zhou Yan went to Beijing to disperse. Wang Yanyun and this pair of mother and daughter have known each other for nearly 10 years, providing a lot of help for Zhou Yan.

In the end, Zhou Yan's mother agreed with her daughter to come to Beijing, demanding that she must live in Wang Yanyun's house and have a trustworthy "guardian".

In Zhou Yan's own statement, her image of confrontation with her relatives and friends is much tough.

She told me that a relative invited her home a few days ago and found that there was a boy present. Relatives said, you know and make friends.

Zhou Yan asked the boy's three questions: Now the epidemic has a great impact on your industry. Do you have other plans for the future? What do you think of women continuing to study after marriage? How did you break up with your ex -girlfriend? After a while, the boy said, I can't match you.

"His life is not Plan B." Zhou Yan commented.

Zhou Yan likes to laugh when he speaks, but the range of laughter cannot be large, and it will hurt when it involves scars. When the neck is rotating, leaning forward, and backwards, the angle is slightly larger, and the scars are raised eye -catching.

The scar is not elastic like normal skin, and she will hold her movements like a hard hand.

This is the best effect that can be achieved after years of treatment. For the first time, Wang Yanyun saw Zhou Yan in 2013. The girl was lying on the side of the bed, and a huge bag was raised on her back.

The doctor was buried in the expansion inside, injecting physiological saline, so that the normal skin was opened and growing as much as possible. The expander cannot be squeezed, and Zhou Yan can only walk and lie in a twisted posture.

At most, she buried seven or eight expansors at the same time, "like seven or eight children at the same time."

"But she received me particularly cheerfully." Wang Yanyun remembered. At that time, Wang Yanyun was an internship reporter in a media. He wanted to write Zhou Yan and was rejected by the editor. The editor believes that Zhou Yan has no news value, "a sad story is not necessary to tell repeatedly."

Wang Yanyun visited Zhou Yan as a personal identity, and was moved by her brightness. She began to teach Zhou Yan to paint, learn English, and encourage her to get out of the ward.

"You have to stand in a place with light, and then it will be news."

Figure | Zhou Yan, who was in trouble before the accident

A Zhou Yan who has learned to stand up does provide new materials for the media. From about 2015, in the report of Zhou Yan, she basically surpassed the glory of pain and crickets. Even if she wrote her fragility, she was to contrast the strength of rebirth.

The image of the "perfect victim" that was shaped fits the public's expectations, and Zhou Yan also sent Zhou Yan to a position that had to maintain flawless appearance.

On the other hand, it is strong anxiety, anxiety and fear, from the severe pain and many years of interruption from severe pain and normal life.

Zhou Yan's left arm was originally amputated, and her mother repeatedly begged the doctor to retain it. When rehabilitation, she needed a little bit of rigid joints, which was so painful.

The scar is not breathable, often hot and itchy; she will be particularly sad in the first few days of the college entrance examination. She should be trapped in the forced ward in the most beautiful years of the college and enjoying youth with her friends.

The impact of the damage is stretching to this day. Zhou Yan is afraid of being dark and afraid of someone walking behind him, worrying about whether he can have the ability to be based on society. This gave birth to her desire for "strong".

When I first talked to Zhou Yan, she was still in Hefei. Every time I went out, the people around me would watch her without concealment, and it was much better in Beijing.

I say that the social environment of first -tier cities is usually more open and friendly. The voice came from the phone for a while before her voice came:

"Can others treat you as a normal person depending on society, but on yourself. Now, most people have not regarded me as normal people because I am not strong enough." In the face of the outside world, Zhou Yan strongly supported a powerful, optimistic and beautiful self. When Floating Glimpy praised her, few people cared about the deformation, tearing and contradictions she experienced in the process.

Such contradictions often appear in Zhou Yan's conversation. At that time, I asked her words, how do you think you need to be a normal person? Zhou Yan answered, I didn't think, because I didn't care what they thought, what did it have to do with me?

Internet storm, Weishang

Zhou Yan had a dolphin doll, which was sent by her former good friend Xiao A to visit the hospital. She kept it, sometimes holding sleep.

That friendship has broken. Shortly after Zhou Yan was injured, Tao Rukun's father posted on the Internet that she and Tao Rukun were in love. "Because Zhou Yan has another boyfriend, Tao Rukun cannot be treated properly and properly."

Originally sympathized with Zhou Yan's public opinion field, "deserved" and "go to death", and many humiliated words continued to appear.

For Zhou Yan, who was not an adult at the time, the Internet storm was "more painful than burns" and more terrible.

In the past two years, she did not dare to walk out of the more than ten square meters of ward in the hospital. The doctor talked to her. She often couldn't respond to her eyes, "like a wall."

Figure | Zhou Yan's hand

Once, Zhou Yan accidentally saw Xiao A's speech on the Internet, saying that Zhou Yan began to seduce the opposite sex in elementary school. Zhou Yan was angry and sad. After half a year, she couldn't help asking why Xiao A was like this. Little A said lightly, nothing, you are too smooth and uncomfortable.

"Usually people grow up in a normal environment, enter the society in their 20s, and recognize that the world is gray little by little. People may do good things and do bad things. But I brush from a vacuum state. Throwing it inside, all the monsters and monsters appeared. "

Psychological scars and body together, holding the young Zhou Yan.

With the long -term efforts of a psychologist, she drumped the courage to try out of the hospital.

When approaching the door, the outside world suddenly twisted and rushed over, like Monker's painting "Scream", "Zhang Dazan wanted to eat me."

After learning to paint with Wang Yanyun, Zhou Yan began to look brave after having a friend who could talk about this age. More than a year later, Wang Yanyun introduced her to learn painting in her friend's studio, and the teachers and students of the studio accepted her. After half a year, Zhou Yan no longer wore a mask when she went out.

Zhou Yan and Xiao A cut off the contact, but did not throw away the doll she sent. "Keep yourself constantly, don't give others the opportunity to offend you."

One day in 2016, Wang Yanyun visited Zhou Yan as usual. As soon as I entered the door, when I saw a courier in the ward, Zhou Yan was squatting on the ground and packaging. Seeing Wang Yanyun, she looked particularly embarrassed.

In the previous year, Zhou Yan began to be micro -business. During that time, it was another trough of her: with the Tao family's civil lawsuit for many years, and the compensation had not been judged; she promised to put her surgery for the hospital that she was treated for free; her mother took care of her in Beijing for many years. Father's meager salary.

Being a micro -quotient may be the best choice at that time. She tried to find a job. The only success was a telephone customer service, and she gave up less than a month. For many years, there is no diploma, and there is no diploma, coupled with conspicuous scars, the mainstream jobs will not open to her.

Zhou Yan told me that she made about thousands of dollars a month to make Weishang, and it can be tens of thousands of times, but "really without you think so much."

"Farewell to 16 -year -old Zhou Yan"

After Zhou Yan entered the WeChat world for a period of time, Wang Yanyun and several other friends who have been helping Zhou Yan automatically far away from her. "She is very clear in her heart."

"We spent a lot of energy to accompany her, teach her to paint and learn English, and hope that she can embark on a more professional and meaningful way. It is a pity to see her as a micro -business."

Recently, Wang Yanyun tried to understand Zhou Yan's original choice, "it may be a spiritual support for her."

In the eyes of many people, the WeChat world lacks mature and reliable norms, and has an incompetent business model: on the one hand, with wealth dreams to deceive people to devote themselves to them, on the other hand, they maintain interpersonal relationships with emotions and inspirational. The spiritual satisfaction.

There are various performances on the Internet during the micro -business party: the agent is called "family" affectionately, calling himself "brother and sister"; shouting "I think you will succeed" at the conference, and the "family" is hissing. Response, the face was glowing.

This world that does not ask for degree and does not ask, can make Zhou Yan's self -employment, which will undoubtedly bring her a sense of security and dignity. Perhaps there is a sense of belonging like a family, even if it is not true.

And those who are rich and prosperous, in the eyes of young girls who were involved in the world, may have satisfied her desire for "strong" psychology.

She talked about her outlook on life:

"I hope I can study constantly. There is a change in a few years, and there is a new progress. Once I accept the living setting of ordinary people, I will step by step like everyone, get married and have children, accompany reading, wait for reading, waiting for reading, waiting for reading, waiting for reading, waiting for reading, waiting for reading, waiting for reading, waiting for reading, waiting for reading, waiting for reading, waiting for reading, waiting for reading, waiting for reading, waiting for reading, waiting for reading, waiting for, waiting The child is married, and then helps him to bring the child, and you know what it will look like when he is 50 or 60 years old. I am particularly scared of that. "

When asked why reading psychology, Zhou Yan said that this was a way of self -rescue, and hoped that after learning, he could help others, especially girls who were hurt like her. "I have been thinking about what I can do for this society. I benefit from the help of society and want to pass this love." For each problem, Zhou Yan seems to have a positive, high and impeccable. Answer. It seems that she has never experienced the most light abrasions not only without scars.

Wang Yanyun is cooperating with a public welfare organization that specifically helps to infringe the girl. There is a volunteer in the organization who is engaged in psychological research. She told Wang Yanyun that after a minor woman encounters huge trauma, there are usually two extreme reactions.

One is that it becomes very weak and lost, and may not be able to say a word for a few months; the other will fictional one more powerful self, a self that cannot be bullied, and the behavior will be leaned in that direction. Sometimes it may deform.

"But her wish is that I want to be like that, no one can hurt me again, so that she can find the reason for living in this world."

Wang Yanyun believes: "This may help us understand the state of Zhou Yan."

Two days later, Zhou Yan's former psychologist and a well -known psychologist provided her with the opportunity to follow the learning. She decided to stay in Beijing and internship.

She told Wang Yanyun that she did not want to be a micro -quotient and disappointed the expectations of those who had helped themselves. They reached an agreement, and Zhou Yan taught Wang Yanyun's daughter's daughter's English and Chinese pronunciation every day in exchange for free accommodation in the Wang family.

When chatting in the middle of the night, Zhou Yan admitted to Wang Yanyun that she was still trying to be strong, or camoufly to protect the 16 -year -old Zhou Yan.

A few days later, Zhou Yan posted a long article in social media: "2015-2022 Summary".

In the article, she reviewed the life and mood journey over the past 7 years. From grasping the only life -saving straw: as a micro -quotient, to the life of extremely complacent and happy after making some money, and even gradually entering the "poor man's rich" mentality circle, not knowing The real reason for always anxiety: I have nothing but to do micro -business.

Zhou Yan said that he finally wanted to clear what he wanted to do in the future: re -reading and psychology.

This may be a self -rescue behavior.

"It's time, I need to face the 16 -year -old Zhou Yan, and I need to say goodbye to her. In the past 10 years, in order to protect her, I have been supporting her. '.

"Now, it's time to let go of yourself. Only by saying goodbye to her, Zhou Yan, 26, can get real freedom and live."

Wang Yanyun sent a video soon. In the picture, her 5 -year -old daughter is studying with Zhou Yan. It can be heard from the sound that it is very pleasant to get along with each other. Zhou Yan taught patiently, and the children learned carefully. Sometimes the child is naughty, and Zhou Yan will strictly correct her.

The little girl did not think at all, what is the difference between this gentle and lively teacher and ordinary people in front of her.

Picture | Wang Yanyun's daughter and Zhou Yan Xue English

The warm yellow light outside the window shines on the little girl's face. There was no seeing Zhou Yan in the picture, but she should have a similar smile on her face.

I think if I see Zhou Yan again, I want to give her Leonard Cohen's lyrics, "all things have cracks."

Finally revealed a trace of cracks, waiting for her light.

This article is authorized to reprint from WeChat public account: True Story Program (ID: zhenshipshi1) -The story tells a story from life every day.

- END -