I have enough feeling of "things without response"

Every friend around me can talk about a lot of childhood emotions that have been ignored. For example, my father had a disgusting expression during a normal dinner, such as returning home with excited results, but did not get a word of praise.

Childhood emotional neglect is a concept proposed by clinical psychologist Dr. Jonice Webb, saying that parents have not responded to their children's emotional needs.

This is an unconscious damage -sometimes more terrible than conscious damage.

Parents who ignore their children's emotions may already feel that they have done their best. They love their children, or they can be good clothes, food, housing, and caring. However, they do not know that emotions are also a kind of child to be taken care of. need.

The scars on children who grew up in the emotional ignoring are invisible. It will only be feeded through the event after colliding with the world again and again. Emotions ignore the gum that is stuck to the land, suppressing the growth of a seedling. Children who encounter childhood emotions will have some cognitive misunderstandings in the process of growing up.

The following are the three errors that people who encounter childhood emotions are the most likely to make:

质 I feel that I am different from others in essence

Many children who have neglected emotions in childhood will have a moment when they grow up, such as "this can be like this". For example, when others clearly say "I am anxious, I hope someone can hug me". Because emotions have been ignored, these children are unfamiliar with their emotions, and they often cannot name their emotions; they also do not know how to care for themselves, nor are they used to saying their emotional needs. These things that are accustomed to being accustomed to other people's lives are difficult to pass for children who have ignored childhood emotions. Therefore, it is difficult for children who have neglected childhood emotions to find a sense of belonging from others, which will produce "I am different from them and they are different from them. "Cognition.

I feel that my emotions will have a burden on others

You lock your feelings and throw away the key, pretending that you are not frustrated, injured, and angry, because when you are a kid, you are telling that there is a bad emotional. You have to be happy, you have to be good.

When you think your emotions are floods, you naturally want to protect others without being harmed by your emotions. But in this way, you also built a high wall, blocking the intimate, long, and profound relationship on the other side.

“Suppress yourself and become" no desire and no need "

When you think it is a bad thing to have emotions, you also feel that there should be something that needs. When you turn your emotions, you also refuse your needs. I feel guilty because I need it, and it is a thing that many people who encounter childhood emotions will experience. This is reflected in the process of interpersonal communication, you always meet the needs of others first, and even the needs of your own.

So, what should we do when we have encountered childhood emotions?

Even if childhood did not get enough emotional support from parents, we can learn to identify and meet our emotional needs. Dr. Webb proposed three "emotional rules" of cultivating emotional positive cognition::

分 There is no difference between emotions, and each emotion has its meaning.

非 The production of emotions is not logical, and all emotions are traceable.

十 Our emotions may be very strong, but we have the ability to manage it.

Dr. Webb said: "The only thing that allows us to jump out of emotions and ignore the strange circle is to accept our emotions and complete our emotions. Facing the mistakes we will make and is responsible for it for it and others Those closest to those closest. "

The influence of childhood emotions on us will be hidden in our lives. In order to give everyone the opportunity to understand the influence of childhood on ourselves, we have developed childhood shadow assessments to help you find answers from childhood experience.

Childhood shadow evaluation

Click or scan the code for free assessment 点

Let's start now, starting this fact first: your feelings are the necessary part of who you are, they are precious, meaningful, and helpful. When you start to recognize and cherish them, you can use them. Then, those errors caused by emotional ignoring can be erased forever in your life trajectory. "

We are a collection of memory and feelings. Please cherish the emotions that will never lie to you and accompany you for life.

Author: wine

Edit: Lakes cold

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