A self -report of a married man: how I gradually did not love my wife in my 5 -year marriage ...

I believe that everyone who enters the marriage at the beginning was going on for the rest of his life.

However, in the red dust of the years, some people walked hands to the white head, but some people farther away and widen.

And every end of the ending of the ending is probably a good beginning.

Some people say that love is fragile, and it cannot withstand the grinding of years and unable to withstand the test of reality.

Why is it obviously two people in love, but look at each other in marriage?

What did you defeat love and what do you maintain marriage?

Let's see it together ~

Receive a reader's letter in the background:

"I am divorced, a bit sad, but more liberation.

We have been in love for 10 years, and we still lose to reality after all.

Without derailment, I just no longer love her.

She and I are a high school classmate. She is my goddess. I chased it for a long time.

Under the statement, I didn't cherish it when I chased my hand. On the contrary, I always cherished her.

When I was married, my parents did not agree, because she was the only daughter, and she was usually used to it and would not take care of people.

I told my parents over and over again, "I don't need someone to take care of it, and they are barely agreed except for her."

I have always spoiled her, whether it is before or after marriage.

The bags and cosmetics she wants to buy, the online red shop I want to go, I have never said a word "no".

Even after she gave birth to a child, she didn't want to go to work, and I rely on her.

However, the child is already in kindergarten, and the expenses in all aspects of the family are very large.

Because of the epidemic, my income has shrunk a lot, and it is really under great pressure.

I advised her to go out to find a job, and she was anxious to say that I promised to raise her for a lifetime, but now I regret it again.

The key is that she does not work at home. The child is brought by my parents and I washed the bowl.

In addition to ordering takeaway every day, she is going to Taobao, or she is going to the beauty salon.

What made me most chilling was that because 520 did not buy her gifts, she had a live with me.

I work hard every day, and I ca n’t be safe when I get home. I ’m really tired. I don’t want to live on this day ..."

We always say that Liuli is fragmented and feelings are easy to disperse.

Too many marriage stories tell us that love is the least reliable.

The marriage formed because of love will also die because of the breakdown.

Although the past feelings are true, the past vows are also serious.

However, under the erosion of the years, he had new requirements for marriage and had new expectations for his partner.

And you have been staying in place without growing and not changing.

Marriage is realistic. He can spoil you for a lifetime or be good for you.

In the movie, I raised you is the most beautiful promise;

But in real life, I raise you, but it is the most poisonous love.

When you choose to depend on others and give up your self -growth, you must be ready to eliminate it at any time.

Seeing a video on the Internet, I am very concerned:

When he was married, his wife and husband had a loving time.

Later, the wife gave birth to her daughter, and her husband felt that her salary was average, so she asked her to resign home and bring her child, saying that she gave her living expenses every month.

The wife thought for a while, and felt that her husband said reasonable, so he agreed.

Picture source: Douyin@小 图片 图片 图片

Later, her husband felt that her income did not rise much, but she had more and more money she wanted, so she saved her a little flowers.

The wife said aggrieved: "I didn't spend money, I bought things for my daughter, and I couldn't bear to buy myself."

As soon as the husband heard this, he shouted at her:

"You don't make money at home every day. Everyone can make money while bringing the baby. Why can't you?"

The wife didn't say anything, but she really went to find a job and found a part -time job that was relatively free.

After sending her daughter to school, she hurried to work. Although she had a little income, she had negligence in taking care of her daughter.

One day, her daughter was caught by the door, and she cried straight.

He was hit by the husband who came home from get off work.

"Even children can't take care of well, what else do you use?

I bought this house, and your living expenses were out. You rolled out of this home ... "

Picture source: Douyin@小 图片 图片 图片

Yang Lan once said:

The woman is her daughter, sister, wife, mother, but first of all. No independent self, no one can give her freedom; no complete self, no one can make her complete. On the way to find happiness, the most reliable way is to find yourself.

For everyone in marriage, whether you are a wife or mother, you are you first.

The center of life lives into its own backing, not what others look forward to according to the requirements of others.

Imagine that a woman chose to return to the family in order to support her partner's career, and paid for children and the entire family.

But in this world, how many men can really see your sacrifice and thank you for your efforts?

What they see is just what you reach for money, you do n’t take good care of your child, you do n’t look like you.

People with their palms are never free.

In marriage, expect no one to expect yourself to come more reliable.

Instead of relying on others to live, we must strive to be our own backing, to make money by ourselves, and to obtain the confidence of life by ourselves.

In the recent hit drama "Menghua Record", there is a line that says: women are expensive and self -reliant. Once you want to rely on others, you have weaknesses.

The mountains and mountains will fall, and everyone will run by everyone. After all, it is passive.

We should give ourselves in the face of the confidence and sense of security of marriage.

Just like the heroine Zhao Pan'er in "Menghua Record", when he insisted on opening a shop to do business, he had the dialogue with the male lead Gu Qianfan:

"Let you stay here, isn't you letting you open a shop to do business?"

"If I do n’t do business, what do we want to support ourselves, pay for rent, and eat mountain air?

"Can I make you have no money to spend? At that time in Jiangnan, do you say that if you want money, don't I give it?"

Picture source: TV series "Menghua Record"

"Living in the house you arranged, spending your money, what do you think of us?

You are not hesitation, but you borrow money from your heart up, and you naturally have three points short. Borrowing once or twice, you are still willing to help us, what about ten times? "

Picture source: TV series "Menghua Record"

I have to say that this speech is simply awake.

Economist Xue Zhaofeng shared a point of view:

Marriage is that the two parties take out their own resources, do family businesses together, and signed a future wholesale futures contract. Maybe everyone's resources are different, the effects are different, and the effects are different, but it must be contributed to each other to achieve a win -win situation.

Marriage is the same as the company. You must have core values ​​and the ability to be needed by others.

Otherwise, your happiness, your life can only be controlled in the hands of others.

Don't think about changing your destiny by others and marriage, and don't cut off your wings after marriage, give up independence, and give up self -growth.

Marriage is more about taking what they need. No one is willing to pay all the time, and no one can lie flat forever.

All dedication and dedication are based on mutual assistance.

In other words, you and the other party are equal in relationship and economically independent.

Instead of an unbalanced structure, one party is high, and one party is only promising.

In marriage, the partner maintains a pair of equal and complementary relationships, and maybe we can go further and longer.

Writer Bi Shumin said a word:

The essence of marriage is like a slow -growing plant that needs to be continuously irrigated, fertilized, branched leaves, and killing insects.

Marriage is a practice of two people. It requires the same frequency resonance of two people and the work of two people.

Sometimes, a marriage goes to stranger, and it is more likely because:

The two people have been different for a long time, and they did not wait for the front, and the one who fell behind did not follow.

The best state of marriage is to be evenly matched, but it also supplements each other.

For men, don't forget the original intention, forget the warmth of your lover and the happiness of the family;

For women, don't step on the spot, rely on the light of others, but strive to live their own light.

Light at the end of the text [Looking at], I hope that in marriage, we can live our own value and live the most desired look.

Author | Sister Jiali, reluctant to love and freedom in life.

Picture | Network (if there is any infringement, please contact delete)

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