Afraid of failure and escape intimacy: Why are we so scared of "rejection"?

Author:Simple psychology Time:2022.09.23

There are such people, they are extremely afraid of being rejected and abandoned. If they really happen, they often cause excessive emotional and behavioral reactions.

In psychology, this is called refusal sensitivity.

It makes your interpersonal relationship bad, and the sense of self -worth is extremely low ...

This article introduces you to the three daily performances of this personality tendency, and what we can do with this characteristics can do something.

Rejection sensitivity as a personality tendency refers to an excessive negative response when a person is rejected, seriously damaging a person's self -esteem, happiness, and interpersonal relationship.

Refusing sensitivity is often closely related to the fear of being abandoned.

When producing psychological problems such as depression, anxiety, edge -type personality disorder (BPD), or post -trauma stress disorder (PTSD), we can often see such expression characteristics from it. It is possible to show extreme loneliness.

Those who are always afraid of being rejected and have a tendency to refuse to be referred to as those who refuse to be sensitive in psychology.

Three performances of refusal sensitive people

Those who refuse sensitive often have experienced some trauma, especially patients with post -trauma stress disorder and edge -type personality disorder.

Such people can easily enter the battle or escape response (Fight-OR-Flight). A person's nervous system is imbalanced in trauma, feeling strong emotional arousal, and it is difficult to regulate this painful feeling.

There are also some factors that will exacerbate this refusal sensitivity. For example, the negative views of yourself and others, the type of unsafe attachment, and limited social support.

There will be three ways to express sensitivity:

1. Fear of failure

Those who refuse sensitive are afraid of failure, which is often related to low self -worth.

Those who feel that they are not good enough and are always struggling to struggle, always feel that they will encounter rejection and abandonment in the workplace, academic and interpersonal relationships. They don't know that successful needs to seize the opportunity by themselves and take the initiative to move forward.

It is because of this fear of failure that many people will be labeled with wrong labels and identified as failed people, which leads TAs to receive more rejected signals.

In fact, the TAs are not so bad. The reason why TAs sometimes failed to fail is because they were too afraid of being denied and abandoned. This deep fear affects the stable performance of TAs and caused insufficient performance.

Some people tend to escape when facing some career opportunities, just because they dare not face the risk of being rejected. They also habitually escape interpersonal relationships, because they are afraid of being abandoned in the relationship, and they are afraid that their "little left" self -worth will be traumatized again.

2. Fear of intimacy

If a person has an unsafe attachment, TA will be very afraid of intimacy. Such people are either particularly sticky in the relationship, especially indifferent, or constantly switch between these two extremes.

Many people who refuse to be sensitive will push the TA's partners away, which will increase the low value of the TAs and become more afraid of intimacy.

The fear of intimacy is essentially a fear of being abandoned, which makes people unable to establish in -depth interpersonal relationships. Because of fear of feeling fragile in the relationship, the TAs have been evading close relationships.

3. Over -sharing yourself

Some people will reveal their own personal details in a relationship, or share their personal experience at the wrong time and wrong objects (such as the boss or potential object).

It sounds like a thing that people will do if they refuse to be sensitive?

However, those who refuse to be sensitive will do so. TAs have created a self -evidence prediction in this way to protect themselves from further rejection.

For example, some people share the intimate details of the TA in the relationship when they meet the stranger for the first time. Others may refuse to listen, or stay away from the TAs. The sensitive person will not be rejected in other situations in the future.

How to get rid of refusal sensitivity?

Like other bad behavior modes, the key to healing is to identify the inherent driving force and deep motivation that generates sensitivity.

What makes us so afraid of being abandoned and rejected? Why do we always fall into some unpleasant relationships, but we are still reluctant and unable to extricate ourselves?

Sometimes refusing sensitivity is like a cycle. For fear of being rejected or abandoned, it deepen this fear. With more in -depth psychological research, we must not only pay attention to this phenomenon itself, but also focus on where this fear comes from.

If you want to get rid of this bad model, the most important thing is to admit your fear, find out those rejected experiences in the past, identify trauma, accept the facts, and re -view your current self from a healthier perspective and mentality.

It is not easy to do this. You can choose to explore with a professional consultant who is good at dealing with trauma and interpersonal relationships. This will help you get rid of this model faster and better heal yourself.

You can try a simple psychological physical examination. Leaded by Professional Psychological Consultant 1V1, it can help you understand your emotional distress, explore what kind of relationship model you exist, re -sort out past experience and deep fear, and answer you It will be like this, "What should I do". After clarifying the problem, the consultant will customize a suitable set of psychological self -service solutions for you, including: psychological related books, courses, self -service training, and professional consultants to help you determine whether you need to accept further psychological counseling or other professional help Essence

Starting from a psychological examination, get rid of the old model, re -find yourself, and embark on a beautiful life journey.

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