Separation of this lesson, not only the children need, but parents should learn more

Jimu Journalist Liao Shiqi

Draw Liu Yang

In the opening season in September, some parents celebrated the "God Beast" and finally "returned to the cage", but at the same time, the other parts of the parents ushered in a new chapter in their children -in the journey of entering the university campus and ushered in their own. "Separation anxiety." Compared with children who are eager to integrate into the new life of college, parents of some college students have various discomforts of separation, such as reluctance and worry, and some are even serious.

In fact, separation anxiety is not the exclusive of children. As parents who take care of their children for a long time, they will also produce different degrees of separation anxiety. This situation is often related to parents who usually pay too much attention to their children and the lack of psychological border between children. They have some common characteristics: especially "sticky" children. During the growth of children, they have taken care of them too much, are used to habitual children's lives, etc. This kind of situation is becoming more and more common in psychology.

Many children grow up under the guidance and company of their parents. Parents are their best teachers in their lives. But with the growth of children, the role and location of parents are constantly changing. One day, when the children no longer rely on their parents to learn and grow independently, their parents need to switch the role. Learning to let go, it has become a compulsory course for college students.

The lesson of "separation of anxiety" not only requires children, but also the participation and learning of parents. The most critical point of relieving separation anxiety is that parents should cultivate their independent and free boundary consciousness between themselves and their children. Children are an independent individual, and parents should learn to give them room for growth. Healthy parent -child relationships should have their own independent parts. If parents' lives are all around their children, once they face separation, they may have a greater impact on the lives and psychology of both parties. As the children grow up and have more and more people's space, parents need to change with them, return to their lives, and leave more space to each other.

A person's life will face a series of endless separation. In the two things that overcomes separation of separation, parents should become a strong teammate for their children, and bravely face anxiety with their children and grow together. As Long Yingtai wrote in "Watching": "The so -called father, daughter, mother and child, but only means that your fate is that this life is constantly watching his back. At this end of the path, watching him gradually disappear at the small road turning, and he told you silently with his back: you don't have to chase. "

- END -