Suddenly I am having the diagnosis of depression and the "holding the group" to relieve anxiety

Since the primary school has diagnosed depression, for 10 years, Xiao Zi has repeatedly suspended, re -school, and reconciled because of his illness ... Young people like Xiaozi are not a case. "2022 National Depression Blue Book" shows that 50%of patients under the age of 18 are students under the age of 18, and 41%have been suspended due to depression.

Parent

Child take the initiative to request

"One -to -one" counseling

The conference room of "Beijing House" is full of parents who seek help.

Gao Yan hasn't figured out how to understand why his son suddenly didn't go to school. At first, the family felt that the child was "used", so he forced him and hit him. The teacher even came to school every day.

However, the pressure of learning and socializing still made him wandering on the edge of the study, and even a "violent behavior" appeared. On the day the teacher came to school, he kept himself in the room.

Gao Yan was distressed and scared. She held all the pressure and carried the charges of "doting", and insisted on letting her son "rest" at home for a while. But she often asked herself: "Is my indulgence and hurt the child?"

Gao Yan began to become anxious, but she kept reminding herself: she couldn't mess up, otherwise how could she bring their children out of difficulties? After a year of groping alone, the son's condition seemed to have improved. From spending 10 hours a day to play games to 3 hours today, he also started trying to do other things. Gao Yan was very pleased, "I finally saw some hope."

Zhang Jie's child has been studying for three days, and she doesn't worry about one day. In January last year, the child suddenly appeared in "learning" and refused to take the final exam of the first semester of the first semester. Under the advice of family education consultants, Zhang Jie took the child to the hospital after the winter vacation, and the diagnosis results were moderate depression.

Unlike other mothers' hands, after reading depression -related books, Zhang Jie's heart was stubborn. She felt that the disease was "not a big deal". Children return to school.

But the first time I resumed school, less than a month after returning to school, the child refused to go to school without any reason.

After a year, with the unremitting efforts of the couple, the child finally agreed to transfer. In this new semester, Zhang Jie did not know if the child could be successful.

Wang Fengxia's child is 19 years old and has just taken the college entrance examination. He scored 40 points in a Beijing line.

Two years ago, in October, she just started to refuse to go to school. Do not do homework, do not self -study, do not transfer, and reject any changes.

From September to October last year, the children experienced two re -schools and ended in failure.

What made Wang Fengxia happy is that in February this year, the child took the initiative to "one -on -one counseling" because he felt that he might not be able to return to school.

At first, children also showed "willfulness". They often left early and left early, and sometimes even depended on the bed, but gradually, on average, they could maintain more than 5 hours of learning daily.

During this period, the couple lowered their expectations for their children, and many unacceptable things in the past became acceptable.

Now the child has successfully completed the college entrance examination and was accepted by a good school. Looking back at the past two years, Wang Fengxia admitted: "I don't know what happened to do wrong, and I don't know what is doing right. Anyway, I slowly develop in the good direction you want. "

student

I feel uneasy about returning to school

"Should I return to school"

"Should I resume school?" The 22 -year -old Xiaozi had been on the scene of the Salon event for a long time before asking the psychological counselor. In a exchange room, more than 20 parents listened to Xiao Zi about their experience.

In the early autumn, the indoor temperature in Beijing was appropriate, but Xiao Zi wrapped a long -sleeved shirt, wearing a peaked cap, with glasses and masks, it was difficult to see her expression clearly.

In elementary school and junior high school, Xiao Zi can also maintain normal schooling by taking medicine. She often felt that her "body" went to school, but her thinking was stunned.

In the test room of the Mathematics Department of the high school entrance examination, she did not do the choice questions. In the middle school entrance examination, Xiao Zi decided to go to the international school. But in the second year of high school, Xiao Zi couldn't hold it. Since then, Xiao Zi has never been able to learn it in complete.

Now she is about to go to the second college to report that Xiao Zi is very disturbed in the face of various situations that may appear back to campus. This time, she took the initiative to take her mother to participate in the "Sausa Parents Salon" organized by the "Statistics of Beijing". "Crossing" is a platform and solution platform for depression and mutual assistance in China. The objects of help and services are those children who have left schools or their parents who have just returned to the school and their parents have just returned to school.

Psychological counselor

Repeatedly rest

It is because the family healing is not completed

It is understood that the "surviving" Xiu Fu school support community was established in 2020. At first it was a psychological counselor to share the activities of how to support children to re -school for parents. After the event, more and more parents joined, and the WeChat group gradually expanded. There are now more than 4,000 WeChat groups in "crossing", divided into junior high school groups, high schools, university groups, and so on.

Teacher Deng is the head of the community to support the community, and he is also a psychological counselor. Most members of the community are parents of children who are suspending from school.

In these groups, parents who study children will not feel "only my child is special", which can alleviate their anxiety. Through many years of practical experience, Teacher Deng believes that through the community, parents 'anxiety is reduced and the restoration of parents' confidence is more helpful for children.

"Many parents will ask in the group: 'Should they take a break?' Or 'Should I resume school?' Other parents will give them opinions. And my personal opinion is to respect the children, do not take the initiative to let the children take a rest, and do not force them to force it, not forced Children are studying. "Teacher Deng said. "We should put attention from children on ourselves." As the person in charge of the "surviving" revisit camp, Liang Hui found that the general anxiety of these parents could not solve the problem, but it would intensify the problem. Because negative emotions can bring negative thinking and lead to more negative communication.

In the process of resting, many children will repeat, and they don't want to go to school a few days before they go to school.

In the final analysis, Liang Hui believes that the family healing is not completed in the final analysis: "The child feels that the school is over for a long time, it is time to go back, but the parents have not completely changed." Liang Hui believes that what parents have to do will grow from growth in the future. The angle supports the child to adjust the family's interactive mode.

In addition to psychologists, Liang Hui is a school teacher and principal. She believes that from the principal to the teacher, they should receive regular psychological knowledge training, master psychological knowledge and skills, and attach importance to the collective psychological intervention of students.

"Children have problems. In the final analysis, they should actively think about their future." Liang Hui found that children are often passive from the rest of the school to rest.

Liang Hui suggested that the children who are suspending their school take the initiative to do psychological intervention. More importantly, go out to explore society and integrate life. "Children of this school age are full of desire to explore, so the school must understand more, parents should give more space, and children should make good use of social resources to make themselves live. It's the matter. "

dialogue

Life is long

I want to learn when it is not too late

Sister Qiu was responsible for working at the event site. She was a group owner who "survived" to repair the school community and a mother of a child.

Beiqing Daily: How do you know that your child is sick?

Sister Qiu: He bit his nails since he was a child, until he was big, and then I knew that this was actually a manifestation of anxiety. Also, I always feel that my homework can't be finished. I often get 1 am, and I was strange at that time.

He took the initiative to tell me that he didn't want to go to school, and wanted to go to the hospital to see. The current children's mastery of network information is beyond our imagination, and he told me after finding it. After the doctor's examination, the doctor was confirmed to be severe depression and moderate anxiety. I was surprised at the time and always felt that the child was cheerful.

The child has not been to school since October 2020. At that time, he was still a primary school student and now he was in junior high school, but in the past two years, he had only been to school for a month in September.

Beiqing Daily: Is there any harvest in the group?

Sister Qiu: After the diagnosis, I wanted to find all kinds of channels that could be provided, and found this group. At that time, I hoped to find the experience of re -studying from other parents.

At the beginning, I was very anxious to let my child study, but in the process of chatting, I slowly realized that the child's school was only the appearance of the disease, and there were deep things behind it, which objectively looked at the school.

I used to be strict with my child. Where the child did not do well, I would also scold my head and scold. Later, I learned the knowledge of psychology and began to realize that my strict education method of my child was actually a trauma from the bottom of my heart. In my childhood, my father had a strict discipline of me.

We have discussed that parents reflect on self -confidence as a must -have for parents after their children. Only when the parents are in blame can they start to explore their life trajectory and find the problem hidden in the bottom of their hearts. After healing their trauma, they can understand their children and help their children to go.

Generally speaking, children want to close themselves at the beginning of the disease and do not want to communicate with the outside world. After he had some energy through treatment or intervention, he would come out. In fact, this is a link to the child with the parents, but the communication at this time may be a vent.

Beiqing Daily: How has the mood changed in the past two years?

Sister Qiu: I was anxious at first, but now it is not so anxious. I think I might as well give my children some time to explore their hearts. In fact, he is also digging himself and growing up. A few days ago, he told me that junior high school classmates were very good to him, and he felt that elementary school classmates did not hate him as before. In fact, he was changing himself. In the past, he couldn't get out of the vortex of interpersonal relationships, and spent too much energy.

After experiencing that stage, he would think about what he wanted to do. I think this shows that he started to know himself again and fix himself. As the saying goes, "The knife is cut off by mistake". When these things are completed, you can go to school. Life is still very long.

Note: The patients and parents in the text are both

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