The salary line cannot catch up with the hairline, and the post -90s pouring into this hotline

7 years ago

When "Shenzhen Xiaowei" was just founded

We set up a flash:

Refusing to become the "uncle of the 60s"

To be "lively 90s"

that time

"Post -90s" is still a label with a halo

Young, energetic, vigorous, unconvinced

Like to play stalks and lead the trend ...

As soon as I said that I am a post -90s, I have face face

Who are you! Heavenly Lao Tzu has to kneel when he comes

It's a pity how prestigious people were established at the beginning

How embarrassing was the day when the house was collapsed

After 05, I started to look down on 00

Say "we are not a generation"

After the 90s, in the circle of "young people"

Has been completely swept out of the ground

They all say thirty standing

The average age of Shenzhen people is 32.5 years old

And the first batch of post -90s is about 33 years old

If you still "stand"

I am embarrassed to say that I am from Shenzhen?

"30 -year -old anxiety"

It has become a many post -90s.

Many people are anxious when they can't

They are looking for a tree hole

01

"27 years old, 4 consecutive years of postgraduate entrance examination failure

What's wrong with me! "

Speaker: Liu Fangting

One afternoon, I received a phone call from Feifei.

"Why can't I do?" Feifei (pseudonym) choked when he said the first sentence, "I really work hard!"

Don't go back to his hometown to be old, come to "deep drift" as soon as you graduate. In Shenzhen for 3 years, Fifi dare not waste every second every day, either at work or studying. According to the popular statement, she is completely a self -disciplined young man.

I asked her, "What are you learning?"

"Postgraduate entrance examination! Four years of exams four times."

Why is the postgraduate entrance examination? Fifi started his postgraduate entrance examination from his senior year. The undergraduate studied the "Tiankeng" major. She wanted to change the track through the postgraduate entrance examination, but she did not take the test for the first time. After coming to Shenzhen, she did not give up this idea and continued her postgraduate entrance examination. Although she was exhausted every day after get off work, she still did not study for a day, and studied 4 hours a day. Fortunately, Shenzhen is also a tissue of learning. The door of the library is often open. She will be soaked in the library every weekend and go home until the door is closed.

In the past three years, she has also lost. When she took a car home from the library, she was sitting on the bus and looked at the street lights, and felt unprecedented loneliness. "In this city, don't have a light lit?"

Each postgraduate entrance examination ended with "failure". The companions who took the first three postgraduate entrance examinations "went ashore" one after another, leaving her to suffer. By the time she failed, she collapsed completely.

"I'm not reconciled!" Said, Feifei cried, "Do I want to continue the test?"

She is still worried about age, only 27 years old, but in her eyes, she is "only 3 years away from 30 years". The postgraduate entrance examination is not good, and the work is not good. Not to mention getting married, I haven't even talked about love ...

Fifi is not an example. In the hotline we receive, many deep drifting young people face this dilemma: fight and confused. Social media often have some "coming people" talk about "what should be like 30 years old": there are houses, cars, family and children ...

This has increased the age of many ordinary young people. They see their lives as a standard answer. Once they fall behind, they must be aimed at the ruler and continue to die.

That day, I cleared a lot of questions with her:

What is the significance of the postgraduate entrance examination?

What do you want to do after being admitted?

What is the most important problem now?

Are there any other roads to try to dig a new self?

Native

Cross intersection sometimes represents various possibilities of life.

Before hanging up, Feifei said:

"I feel a little bit good after speaking. I usually don't know who to tell, thank you."

02

"I am 25 years old is the pinnacle of my peers

Not still anxious "

Talkman: Zhang Yixuan

For a while, in the hotline I received, the 25 -year -old Hao Rui (pseudonym) was the most "fascinating".

His speed is particularly fast. Even on the phone, I can feel the strong sense of oppression in his tone. As soon as the phone was connected, he said straightforwardly: "I'm anxious, I need to consult."

Although anxious, he can clearly analyze himself, take a few points, and want to find the root of anxiety.

I almost thought he was in "Versailles". 985 Xueba, immediately found a decent work after graduation, and did well. In life, he is a fun person, hip -hop, musical instruments, calligraphy, and writing lyrics, and all the prizes that can be won.

It sounds like a peers, this is the perfect "child of others".

But Hao Rui said that he was pushed to another dilemma, and he couldn't tell his peers even if he had any trouble and anxiety in his heart.

"Every time I say, they feel that I am in Versailles, showing off."

So why is he anxious? Talking, I found the other side of Hao Rui.

Every time he listened to him, I couldn't help but admire: "You are really good." He said subconsciously, "No, no, I'm useless." He has been refuting my affirmation, and even use it, and even use it, even use it, and even use it. "Poor" to describe yourself.

I am curious, why is such an excellent boy who has such a negative evaluation of himself?

"Have you found that you always use some absolute words to describe yourself?"

"Is this like this?" He didn't realize it himself. Talking deeper, he talked to me that he had been denied by his respectful elders since he was a child. His parents always expect him to be "better", so he must pursue the most perfect and a little flaws, and he will be anxious.

"Perfectism" is to make a double -edged sword, sometimes making yourself better, and sometimes "hurt" yourself.

"There are no absolute perfect people in the world, can you accept your imperfections?"

Hao Rui answered without thinking: "Improper? Then I have to become perfect."

When I talked about putting down the phone, he said sincerely: "I seemed to start to realize the root of anxiety. I was not as unbearable as I thought. All the pressure was always imposed to myself."

Among the talked people, many young people in Shenzhen are "perfectionists" like Hao Rui. They are very good in outsiders, but they all feel that they are not good enough, especially the more the elites think they are not good enough. anxiety.

I am not old. When I listen, as my peers, I am also willing to share my views. When facing anxiety and confusion, you may wish to do this.

It is clear whether the "perfect" is or or the social concept is imposed. Otherwise, it is easy to bury your head and rush forward, and gradually deviate from the "initial dream".

Slow down. The more anxious people think, "I still have a lot of things, how can I be confused?" But how can I go better for myself?

Study. Many people have a lot of ideas before action. They are worried about bad results. If nothing can be in place, do a little accumulation and progress every day.

It does not mean that you cannot work hard at your dreams, and you are still the shining stars in the vast universe.

03

"I owe a debt at the age of 30, and I haven't stepped downstairs for 2 weeks"

Talkor: He Lihua

"I just recruit a black constitution!" Xiaoting (pseudonym) said, sighed, as if a balloon was tied with holes and discouraged.

When the hotline was about to get off work that day, I received a call from Xiaoting. Listening to her story, my heart was pinched and tightly dragged, and it was always excited.

Xiaoting was in his early 30s and came from a native family that she thought he was a male light and daughter. As soon as she graduated from college, she refused to return to her hometown, and came to Shenzhen without returning. She drifted for 8 years.

Xiaoting is a girl who is capable and fighting for money. At the original company, she started from the grassroots and has always been far ahead to be a small department in charge. However, this fight also fainted on the way to get off work.

In recent years, some people have stood at the time of the times, but Xiaoting fell to the "knife mouth" of the times. His career was all pit: jumping into large enterprises, catching up with "optimization" and being "graduated"; joining the teaching and training industry In the event of a "double reduction" closure; joining cross -border e -commerce, and catching up with the industry's ebb; I wanted to do a small business, but it failed, and I also carried debt. When repaying debts, she tried to find friends to borrow money, and her friend refused to borrow a penny.

On the hotline, Xiaoting cried and cried. She cried because she had gone from borrowing money, and she seemed to have no end in the dark day of crying.

Although he was pressed repeatedly on the ground, Xiaoting refused to go home and wanted to stay in a big city. At present, she can earn living expenses by her professionalism, and she also pays debts little by little. But she cut off all the contact with the outside world, and did not go downstairs for two weeks.

When I heard Xiaoting sighed, I wanted to hug her. I am a person who is about to retire. My age and experience make me understand that my life is long, and I will go through the dark after all. But the difficulties encountered by young people are now, urgent.

I have been engaged in psychological counseling for more than ten years. I know that there are many young people in Shenzhen that are the same as her, hard work, helplessness, and sometimes "unlucky". Their pressure comes from occupations, native families, interpersonal relationships, etc. It is necessary to pull a hand when they are trapped in the quagmire and accompany them through this darkness.

In the whole listening, I was also looking for Xiaoting's loose point, and try not to have the advice of "dad".

I asked her, "Can you start with the reconstruction of interpersonal relationships?" You can go to the community first, participate in volunteer activities, and re -establish your relationship with your surroundings.

Talking, Xiaoting's tone was loose, "I'll try it!"

This is the "tree hole" of many Shenzhen people

Every day, there are also young people in Shenzhen who are constantly steadily overthrowing their "people" in this tree hole and talking to their true self.

This tree hole is a long -range psychological counseling service of "talk to accompany" in Shenzhen. Under the leadership of the Organization Department of the Municipal Party Committee, the Youth League and Municipal Party Committee and the Municipal Health and Health Commission were jointly established by the support psychological studio of the Municipal Corning Hospital.

"Talking with companionship" is not an exclusive tree hole for young people, but a collective tree hole of more than 20 million people in Shenzhen.

Source: Shenzhen Health Commission

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