After 30 years old, be a "thin love" person

Wen/Xinrui

There is a saying:

"People, flowers and other creatures, all those who want to express themselves excessively, who are too hard, will make people sweep and weaken its original charm."

We often fall into a misunderstanding in life, that is, to be good for a person, there should be no reservation and exhaust everything.

As everyone knows, the enthusiasm of not restraint is a disaster to others.

Too enthusiastic, not only indulging in others, but also hurting yourself.

No matter how good the feelings, it is necessary to stop.

In this life, you may wish to learn "love".

"Thin Love" is waiting for friends, Fang Shou has the bottom line

A study from Harvard University found:

If a person learns to refuse reasonably, it can reduce unnecessary trouble of more than 90%, and will not waste a lot of time wealth.

In life, we will always do not know how to reject others for various reasons.

It is precisely that we do n’t know how to refuse, so that we caught us into a dilemma and make life a mess.

In "Barbarians", such a story once told:

The owner of a private company eats with friends who have known for many years.

Out of curiosity, the boss asked casually: "What are your siblings recently?"

My friend was embarrassed and couldn't help but sigh: "Wife stays at home all day long, it is particularly difficult to find a job, or go to work in your company?"

My friend's wife has a low academic qualifications, and there is nothing to get the skills, but the private company owner does not want to destroy the friendship between the two, so he nodded and agreed.

He arranged his position for his friend's wife and paid 2,000 yuan a month.

Three months later, friends called to let the owner of the private company managed his own subordinates, don't let his subordinates bully his wife.

Relying on his own relationship, his wife's wife not only has perfunctory work, but also to her colleagues, and colleagues dare to be angry or not.

The owner of the private company is very headache. After weighing again and again, he plans to dismiss his friend's wife, but he still pays wages every month.

When my friend learned of the news, not only did not thank him, but asked him if he had an opinion on his wife, and the two were completely stiff since then.

The owner of the private company regrets it. If he refuses his friend's request directly at the time, then he neither pays a lot of money nor to deal with extra troubles.

Writer Lu Qi said: "Everyone thinks that helping talents have power, but in fact, rejection is a more powerful thing."

Indeed, if you don't want to agree, you should simply refuse.

Do not lose your face because of your face.

Perhaps it sounds a little bit affectionate, but this is a responsible attitude towards themselves to themselves.

In association with people, the bottom line should not be lost, and the things that should be clarified cannot be vague.

Learn to "cold noodles" and keep the principles and bottom lines. Only in this way can life be less troublesome and accused.

Source: panoramic vision

"Thin Love" is waiting for a partner, and Fang stays in space

After reading such a sentence:

"The world is like the sand in my hand. The tighter you hold, the faster you lose."

Many times, the more you can grab something hard, the more you will make it clumsy.

The same is true of feelings. If it depends too much on each other, it will only allow love to accelerate.

Netizen @Selina Xin has shared the story of her classmate Mr. Xu.

Mr. Xu's family is good, his work is stable, and a dignified and intelligent wife, people around are envious.

However, at the classmate party, he talked about his wife.

It turned out that his wife was very motivated and took various qualification certificates, followed by promotion and salary increase, and the salary slowly surpassed him.

Mr. Xu was not happy because of this, but had a strong sense of anxiety.

He thought his wife looked down on him and wanted to find a man who was better than him.

Driven by possessiveness and suspicion, Mr. Xu began to stop his wife from working overtime, interfered with her work, and instilled her the concept of "almost" and "what is the use of so much money".

In every uneasy day, these practices still cannot give Mr. Xu a sense of security.

He intensified, forced his wife's home incident, could not talk to male colleagues, and even secretly checked his wife's chat history.

Excessive paranoia and dependence are like a cage, making his wife breathless, and just want to escape.

They quarreled and the Cold War, and the two stepped up and separated.

Source: panoramic vision

The Irish poet Roy Clefte said:

"Love is not a homogeneous agent, turning you into me, incorporating me into your flesh, and looking at you as if watching me. But you can be you, I can be me."

Sometimes, hugs that are too tight will only make the other party unable to breathe.

You know, the real love is not to change the other party and make the other party become his own "subsidiary", but in the appropriate boundary, respect each other and be wonderful.

The two sides will not over -interfere and make the other party feel suffocated; they will not let the other party feel alienated.

Getting along with sex, you may wish to be more affectionate and leave a little space for each other, marriage can be happy and happy.

"Think of love" to treat the children, the party makes it independent

Writer Albert Habing once said:

"When parents do too much for their children, children will not do too much for themselves."

It is undeniable that Chinese -style parents are used to worrying about their children, and even everything wants to arrange properly for their children.

But the wider it is, the less you get the child's understanding, and it is difficult for children to gain happiness.

On the contrary, those visionary parents know how to quit their children's lives in a timely manner. Zhejiang girl Shao Yijia, 719 points in the college entrance examination. In order to Yuan Dream in the heart, Zeng resolutely rejected the admission of Tsinghua University.

For her daughter's choice, Shao Yijia's parents not only did not blame her, but supported her very much.

From a young age, Shao Yijia has a particularly strong memory. She can answer the story a few days ago.

In exchange for other parents, it is estimated that it will increase the cultivation of children so that children will win on the starting line.

However, Shao Yijia's mother did not force her to learn, but she taught her when she wanted to learn.

Similarly, my father is like this way.

After each test, Shao Yijia's father will analyze the test papers with her, summarize the reasons for the loss, so that she knows which places need to be improved.

Therefore, Shao Yi can always swim in the ocean of knowledge at all times. Even if he is tired, he will not have a resistance to learning.

Shao Yijia's parents believe that the power of choice has always been in Shao Yijia's hands. They can guide it appropriately, but cannot be excessively intervened.

It is the respect and letting parents of parents that allowed Shao Yijia to improve the ability to take the initiative to think and solve problems.

Source: panoramic vision

There is a saying very well: "We need to be close, but we don't need interference. We need warmth, but we don't need to bake."

Love children is not a big package, eliminating all obstacles for them, but knowing how to let go and let them experience it alone.

Although it is inevitable to fall in life, growth happens in the process of facing difficulties.

In some things, children must be experienced by themselves. Only in this way can they have a sound personality.

Only when they treat their children, they can exercise their determination and courage to cut thorns. On the road of the future, they will become more and more stable.

I really agree with Cai Kangyong's words:

"Too enthusiasm is not a way to maintain a good relationship alone. It is best to get cold with people and maintain a certain sense of distance from the outside world."

The love is not indifferent, but after seeing the essence of things, it is better to deal with the world.

In love with friends, we can adhere to principles and make friendship longer.

Only when you are in love with your partner, you can leave space and make your feelings stronger.

Only in love with children can fully accept and make children better.

Walking in the world, we don't have to be too enthusiastic and respect others.

In this fast -paced world, you can make long water flowing with people slowly and faint.

After 30 years of age, I hope that you are a person who is in a lot of affection.

Author: Xin Rui, the original media of the reader's new media, is not irritable, not to fight, no matter how glittering.

- END -