I do n’t want to be revenge between my proxy, do n’t do these three things, it is the highest level of emotional intelligence
Author:Ten o'clock reading Time:2022.09.21
What is a pro -home?
I have heard many people's opinions.
Some people say, "Kouju, pro -family"; others say, "Koujia, like a enemies."
China's relationship has always been complicated. Relatives are two pairs of parents who were originally unrelated, formed relatives for their children.
For children, they are the favorite relatives;
But for both parents, they may not have seen each other a few times. There are differences in thinking and habits, and it is reasonable.
However, it is undeniable that the harmony of getting along with each other to a certain extent will affect the happiness of children.
Holy -lived family is a catalyst for children's feelings;
If you look at each other, you may become the culprit for destroying marriage.
Between your pro -family, if you want to get along peacefully, you don't do these three things, it is the highest emotional intelligence.
Marshall Luxembourg wrote in "Non -violent Communication":
"Compared with others, it is the beginning of tragic life."
But in real life, many relatives will inevitably fall into the mud.
Perhaps, I feel that my home is rich than the other party, so I have more right to speak;
Perhaps I feel that my child is better, so I look down on all kinds of son -in -law or daughter -in -law;
Perhaps, I saw that the child was posted by the other parents' physical body, so I felt that I was ignored.
Although this kind of comparison is due to human nature, it will only bring themselves trouble.
Children who feel a strong mentality of their parents will also bear a heavy psychological burden.
In "Heart", Gu Qingyu was good -looking and talented, but his mother -in -law was not born.
In front of her son, her mother -in -law always compared her with her daughter with her world, saying that the latter was well -informed, so as to pull Gu Qingyu.
During the dinner, the mother -in -law even said in front of her pro -family and said:
"If you say that if this world go back for decades, can the two of us climb?"
The proud attitude not only made the parents of the Gu family in the throat, but also finally went to divorce for the small couple, and laid a foreshadowing.
Bi Shumin once said:
I will deeply review my shortcomings in the dark night of no one, but I don't want to exhibit myself like a secondary product in the eyes of the public.
In this world, no one is willing to be trampled on the public.
Since the couple have decided to come together, their emotions, wisdom and economic foundation must be highly resonated or complementary, and there is no distinction between high and low.
The immature competition between parents will only hurt the relationship between the two, and accelerate the marriage of their children's marriage.
Smart parents know how to converge and compare, and do not worship high.
They know that a happy day is coming out and not compared.
Take your heart and want to open things, so that you can return happiness to your children, and return themselves to yourself.
I have read a very interesting message:
"Some time ago, the girl and her husband quarreled and returned to her mother's house for a few days.
I was so angry that I felt that my son -in -law had grieved his daughter, almost called, and scolded him.
But within a few days, the son -in -law found the door, apologizing and doing housework, and soon coaxed her daughter.
The next day, the young couple held hands home.
Think about it now, but fortunately, I didn't intervene at the beginning, otherwise the things were big, and the daughter -in -law was embarrassed. "
I often hear people say: The husband and wife quarrel, the bedside quarrels at the end of the bed.
The husband and wife live together, and some bumps will inevitably happen.
But in the final analysis, each other has been with each other for many years, and many problems can be resolved in their own way.
If parents are mixed in, it is easy to upgrade the contradictions of small families into the opposition of two families.
Parents who have a structured situation know how to settle their housework and let the children solve it.
At that time, the news of Guo Jingjing's marriage into the giants caused a sensation.
A good media asked her mother -in -law Zhu Lingling: How many children will Guo Jingjing give birth to?
I thought the giants had always valued their future generations, but Zhu Lingling replied:
"They know the most in this regard, and they are determined by themselves."
In the words, respect for his son and daughter -in -law.
Similarly, Guo Jingjing's mother Fan Yumei will not intervene in the life of the young couple at will.
Seeing that many people are jealous of Huo Qigang's family, they want to introduce relatives to work in Huo Group through Fan Yumei.
But Fan Yumei said:
"Huojia Company recruits people through regular procedures and cannot go back to the back door."
It can be said that it is because of the sense of proportion of the two parents that Guo Jingjing and Huo Qigang have always been smooth and sweet, and have become exemplary couples in the eyes of many people.
Writer Xiu Bi Qingqing once said:
In every happy family, there must be wise and smart parents. They know the proposal, know the advancement and retreat, and when they come forward, when they come forward, when they are deaf.
Smart parents must pay the initiative of life to their children's hands.
They will not use their own experience to dominate the life of their children; they will not make their children too embarrassed because of their selfish desires.
Give some suggestions for big things, and small things will never intervene.
In this way, we can make their small families gain stable happiness in a comfortable space.
Have you seen a question: Is it necessary to set up a loved one between pro -home?
Gao Zan's answer is:
"If you can set up a loved one, it is naturally lucky, but if you don't really agree with each other, don't be forced together;
After all, they are all older people. It is difficult to change their living habits and thinking patterns, and they are too close, but they will add unnecessary trouble. "
Can't be more agreed.
Between pro -family is because of the formation of children.
Prior to this, they had not understood in -depth, let alone get along for a long time, and rashly together, it was likely that frictions continued.
In "Dear Child", Fang Yinuo's mother and mother -in -law lived under the same roof in order to take care of her and the child.
But the two people getting along are suffocating.
Fang's mother has the habit of the list of daily necessities, and she has been vomited by her mother -in -law;
Fang Fang likes to buy ingredients a week in advance. My mother -in -law complained that she bought so many dishes, and the ingredients were broken;
The bad habits of her mother -in -law smoking and playing mahjong were also abandoned by Fang's mother, and even the children were unwilling to let her mother -in -law touch.
Mother -in -law, who was angry, often complained with her son Xiao Lu, saying that Fang's mother's eggs picked their bones.
Xiao Lu advised her mother to return to her hometown. She did not expect that she would not agree, and she must "fight for a high" with Fang's mother.
Later, her mother -in -law even brought her younger son.
This time, the six people were crowded in a family, and the contradictions were upgraded again.
Fang Yinuo complained that his uncle smoked at home. Fang Mother accused her mother -in -law of raising a giant baby. Xiao Lu was caught in the middle and did not dare to squeak. She was scolded by his wife "only knows and thin mud."
A good little family had been troubled by the collapse.
I have heard people complaining: "There are four olds in the family, and a pot of porridge is chaotic."
Going between your pro -home is inevitable, it is inevitable to wipe the gun and get angry, affecting the feelings of the two couples.
Just like the stone is invested in the water, the closer the ripples will interfere with each other.
The closer people go, the more prone to contradictions.
Lu Yao said in "Ordinary World":
"When I was a kid, I often saw the words of relatives beautiful and important. I knew when I grew up. The biggest difficulties in your life were often caused by relatives."
Get along with each other, walking too close, too wide, often increase trouble.
Leave some distance and understand one more.
Learn to tolerate each other's differences, don't easily cross the border; understand the wishes of children, but interfere.
In this way, the relationship between the two parents can be harmonious and harmonious, and the pressure of the small couple will also reduce a lot.
I like a word very much:
"The best state of the family is that parents have the world of parents, and their children have the happiness of their children.
Do not interfere with each other, do not interfere with each other; often visit and love each other. "
Between pro -family, it is fate and blessing because of the combination of children and daughters.
Do not hurt the feelings of both parties because of the momentary anger;
Don't put pressure on your children because of your prejudice.
The so -called: a family does not know a family.
Learn to understand each other, think more about it, and have great benefits to children and parents of parents.
After all, the children's marriage is happy, and the elders are peaceful and happy.
Click [watching], I hope that every family can cherish each other's fate, live in harmony, and enjoy the joy of heaven.
Author | Zhuxi, love reading, love life.
Picture | Visual China
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