How can a woman who is determined to divorce?

Author:Xindi Time:2022.09.17

This is the most complicated hot search recently, the one I can't let go of it:

Aunt Su Min, 56, decided to divorce.

You should have heard her story. Two years ago, she drove her car, left her home, and left her husband.

Here I will talk about her recent situation. The Mid -Autumn Festival is the first time I go home after leaving home. When the car drove into Henan, she regretted it and wanted to turn to the south, but she went back. At home, she spent the festival with her children, visited her mother, and made the most important decision-

Determined to divorce.

From the frequent updates of Aunt Su Min in the past few days, you may be able to glimpse a trace of her journey.

The highest popularity is her relationship with her husband. I almost visible.

She went home for meals, Henan's unique Nepeta Soup. Husband laughed at her, do you still know that he can't mix it outside? During the dispute, the husband fell the bowl.

She said that it takes courage to send it out.

You may not know, in fact, before returning home, Aunt Su Min has never decided to divorce. He hesitated a lot, worried that the husband was bad, dragged his daughter after the divorce, and also looked forward to him, "Fantasy, what will change."

Now it seems that she seems to let go of this expectation.

"If you agree, you agree. If you disagree, I will sue for divorce.

We have no property disputes. I bought the car by myself. There was a house at home. He had to give him. "

Many people support her, congratulate her, and go out of a way they dare not.

But what I pay more attention is that she said that this is destined to be a difficult road.

There is a procedural difficulty, the marriage certificate is lost, and the marriage certificate must be made first to get a divorce. It is more reality. She speculates that her husband is not so easy to agree.

It reminds me of many female elders around me, my cousin, my aunt, my aunt.

They have something in common. They are all mothers and have thought of divorce, but rarely succeeded. Faced with the painful and dense pain in the marriage, the people around them persuaded them, and they also persuaded themselves, "Tolerance, the family and the beauty of the United States are the most important."

So, in a tooth decay marriage, they endured decades,

So, this is what I want to ask today:

Why is Su Min's divorce so difficult?

Why is it so difficult to divorce?

Will it be referred to by Qianfu after the marriage?

no.

I turned over Su Min's comment area. One of the most common sounds was to persuade her, aunt, and hurried.

Some people say that find a lawyer and divorce. Some people suggest that buy a small house and live it yourself.

The daughter -in -law also supports.

On the day Su Min left, her daughter gave her alone. In the interview of the "Character", a detail was also mentioned. During Su Min's preparing to leave, her husband pulled away the ETC card on the car, his son -in -law rebuked him and installed the card back.

Can't you feed yourself if you get married?

Not.

Although the house was written in the name of my husband, I found two things, and I was a little surprised to be honest.

One is that Su Min's life cut with her husband very early.

She took her husband's medical insurance card to buy medicine for her mother, and the next day he would change the password. She opened 81 yuan at a high speed. The next day, his phone called and urged her to pay back the money. This was the first phone he called after her came out.

One of the words that I was impressed by was deeply describing his marriage and "AA system" marriage. Over the years, she has been to the construction site, sells newspapers, set up dumpling stalls, and has worked a lot.

You may not know that Su Min's first and second cars were bought by herself.

Although the first car wrote the name of her daughter, she paid money with her daughter, and slowly repaid the loan by retirement salary and zero -working money.

The second car merchant folded and she bought it. It is a RV with bed, sofa, and cooking. On the day of the car, she touched the car and cried. Many people in the barrage cried with her:

"This really belongs to me, belongs to my home, I finally have my own home,

In the past, our family knew that there were many things that did not belong to me, and many things did not have my name.

But this can finally be crowned. "

This is what I want to say. Her name is not only written on the driver's book, but also in more places. She published a book and made an advertisement with the female star. There were more than 2 million fans on the entire network.

She drove her own car and escaped 80,000 kilometers.

However, failed to escape a bad marriage.

So, what are you dragging them?

I wonder if you noticed? In the past few days, Su Min's statement was repeatedly mentioned that her husband's attitude towards divorce was repeatedly mentioned.

"I will talk about him in the past two days, I'm afraid he will not talk."

Waldressive husbands would you like to divorce?

It is unknown yet. But a comment that I was very impressed was that some people persuaded Aunt Su to ask her to think, who is the beneficiary and who is the victim in this marriage? Obviously, the party that was fully delivered was completely bundled.

I remembered another woman who wanted to divorce, Han Shimei, a farmer who wrote poems. She is also from Henan. Xiaosu Min is 7 years old.

During the divorce, the court's subpoena was sent to the house. The husband first cried, said he changed, and then "surveillance" his wife. The contact information of the reporter in his wife's mobile phone was deleted by him, the reporter who came to interview, and was beaten by him.

He never let her go.

（韩仕梅和丈夫，图源：新京报）

(Han Shimei and her husband, source: Xinjing News) Grasp her with her husband, as well as the responsibility of being a mother.

There is a detail I can't forget, from the interview with Su Min's daughter. She mentioned that her mother would not divorce for her. She said the "fear" of many mothers in a row:

I was afraid that she would divorce. The daughter couldn't raise her head in front of her classmates. She was afraid that her daughter was single, not easy to find her boyfriend, and was afraid that her husband was sick. The daughter had to take care of it alone.

Han Shimei's divorce failed, and there was the same fear.

She secretly found a lawyer, and the other party confiscated her money. The relatives of my sister and husband came to persuade, and she was scolded back. In the end, it was a phone call from the school to the school. "You leave you, don't affect my college entrance examination." She withdrew.

A friend talked about his mother's divorce. The marathon track, many mid -points, could not see the end point.

On the mid -point prompt sign, the keywords are "waiting", waiting for the daughter's college entrance examination, waiting for the daughter to take the postgraduate entrance examination, wait for the daughter to make a boyfriend, and wait for the daughter to get married. When these tasks are completed, my mother sighs, and it has come over for decades. Forget it.

Some people say that they mourn these women's misfortunes and anger.

But what I want to say is, have you ever thought that those who lasted for thousands of years like a tide, drowned her and shaped her, what kind of sound?

Su Min's mother told her like this- "It's okay to make up", "So old, what else do he do?"

My sister -in -law also told my aunt like this- "How old is the age? How do you live after getting married?"

When the little aunt was 50 years old, she drumped her courage to leave the gambling husband. The adults are gathered around her living room, and after leaving him, how do you live? No one remembers that when she was young, she was the best business in the entire wholesale market. Later, she married, gave birth to her daughter, and did not work.

I have to say it again, it is those invisible, dense networks, in life like dead water,

Banked her and trapped her.

So this is why I talked about Su Min's divorce today.

She is not the first woman who walks hard on this road, nor is it the last.

When looking for information, this is a deep impression, "The Imagination of Sociology" from American sociologist Mills:

"Sociologists have the responsibility to clarify to ordinary readers that their personal distress is not just a matter of personal destiny, but is inseparable from the structural problems of the whole society."

What should be like a society that makes mothers less difficult to divorce?

I think a lot. If her housework can be faced, if raising a child is not the responsibility of her alone, if the divorce can not exhaust her strength, if there are enough women's life samples after divorce for her imagination ...

She can get a little better.

Let's talk about Su Min, you may not know. After 8 days, she is the second anniversary of "escape".

I think of the New York Times reported her title, "A CHINESE 'AUNTIE’ INT on a Solo Road Trip. Now. She's a feminist icon ". It was given a high evaluation of Su Min, feminist icon, feminist idol.

I often open Su Min's comment area, and she has indeed become the idol of many women. They said, envious you can drive. They also advised to drive your car and divorce.

They wanted to see her, like a lighthouse, driving a way that they failed to embark.

Looking at these comments, my heart was complicated. On the one hand, I am happy, and there is a lighthouse like Su Min. On the one hand, even if there is such a lighthouse, women want to move towards a wider road, which is so difficult.

Don't let her become a permanent victim in marriage. Don't let her get support when she wants to escape.

They need a lighthouse,

But what they need more is a true foundation that allows them to come out step by step.

Finally, I wish Aunt Su Min again that the divorce was smooth. The rest of my life goes well.

Writing: Deng Yaya

Editor: Ding Ding

Source of some materials:

"A fifty -six -year -old woman's" escaping ""; peeling onion PeOPLE "Mother and Daughter of" Patients ": Seeing each other, redeeming each other"; Chinese Youth Daily "Han Shimei: A poem who writes poetry to want happiness"

"A stack of Xincui, a rare green environmental protection in life.