"Perfect Trap" -The things I have to get "100 points"

"Why do TA always pick up everything I do? Once what I do can't make TA feel satisfied, TA will say that I am not enough to be good enough? Why does TA always ask me to do things to do things to do things. By 100 points? If you often have such people around you, TA is undoubtedly a perfectionist. People who show the characteristics of "perfectionism", that is, "perfectionists", always want to be a perfect person. , Also strive to make things perfect.

However, is perfectionism a psychological problem? Is the perfectionist really happy? How can we get along with the internal perfectionism? This article tells you the answer.

More and more "perfect" world

Studies have shown that perfectionism has gradually become a social phenomenon that cannot be ignored. A study published by Psychology Bulletin in 2016 shows that today college students have maintained a perfect motivation for physical and mental health and career development. Compared with the previous generations Effects.

Studies and analyzed more than 40,000 data from students from the United States, Canada, and Britain, with time span from the late 1980s to 2016. Researchers measured a total of three dimensions of perfectionism: one is the perfectionism of self -oriented, that is, an unreasonable desire for self; second, the society exerts perfection, that is, the excessive expectations of others; the third It is the guided perfectionism of others, that is, an unrealistic standard for others. Studies have found that each perfectionist score of self -reported self -reporting in recent generations has significantly higher than previous generations. Specifically, from 1989 to 2016, self -oriented perfectionist scores increased by 10 %, society exerted perfection of 33 %, and others -oriented perfectionism rose by 16 %.

Researchers believe that there are many factors that young people are pursuing perfectionism. For example, social media has made young people more perfect than others. In addition, it is also a perfect performance for young people to obtain good education, set a lofty professional goal, and make a lot of money. Many young people feel that perfectionism is necessary. Pursuing perfectionism can make them feel safe, social and value. In fact, the increase in perfectionism will affect the mental health of students, and they are more likely to be depressed and anxious than the generation of young people ten years ago.

The pursuit of perfect underlying power is fear

Of course, many people in the world are eager for perfection and fear of regret, but the difference is that perfectionists are the extreme for "perfect desire" and "regrets of fear". Researchers such as Slaney put forward the perfect desire for perfection in 2001, reflected in their high requirements for their behavior and performance of themselves or others. Not only that, this high standard is continuously improved, and they will put forward higher requirements for themselves or others after meeting certain established standards. These high standards will inspire them to be more self -disciplined than others (I also hope that others can also be self -disciplined), and they are constantly trying to do better and more successful than others. At the same time, perfectionists are also very afraid of "lack of regrets". Once they occur incomplete or regrettable, they will think that this is completely "human" responsibility, because of the defects of themselves or others.

Perfectism is a factor that consumes mental health. For example, because of too much worry about the occurrence of errors, afraid of others' negative evaluations of themselves, and often overly blame for some negligence. Perfectists are prone to anxiety, depression, etc. Emotional issues. At the same time, perfectionists are not "good lovers". In intimate relationships, they are easily overwhelmed. For the other half of their opinions or opinions, they always feel that the other party is aggressive. Therefore, they will also show more self -defense, avoiding incomplete exposure through alienation of their partners. Researchers such as STAFF and other researchers found in 2016 that compared with the couple of no party who are perfectionists, at least one of the couples of perfectionists, whether they are perfectionists, or their partners are pairing in this paragraph. Marriage satisfaction evaluation is low.

Quickly knowledge -Perfectist likes "bite nails"

It is worth mentioning that perfectionists will also have some behaviors that are different from ordinary people. A new study at the University of Montreal's 2015 shows that perfectionists are more inclined to often around their hair or bite nails. Studies have shown that those who lack patience, or people who are easily boring, often have repeatable behaviors for physical behaviors-BFRB (Body-Focused Repetition Behavior), such as tearing skin, bite nails and eyelashes, etc. Essence

First of all, the participants answered some questions about emotional experience, expressing their deep experience of boring, anger, guilt and anxiety. Then put the participants in the scene where these emotions were created, such as letting them be dried alone in the room in a very boring situation. It was found that of the 48 tests, there were 24 BFRB behaviors, and the other half did not have these habits. In the experiment, when those who have BFRB feel nervous and negative, they can feel that they are eager to show such behavior. The deep reasons for these actions may be perfectionism. When perfectists do not reach their goals, they are more likely to be frustrated, anxious and disappointed. At the same time, perfectionists will feel more tired of life. How to live peacefully with "perfectionism"

The correction of the acquired behavior and cognition can still help you improve, or even surpass it to a large extent. For example: perfectionists can learn to forgive their shortcomings. Everyone is not perfect and has advantages and disadvantages. This is not to say that you can abandon yourself. You can continue to learn and progress, but you should receive reality when powerless and recognize your limitations. Don't waste time to do things beyond the scope of ability. At the same time, do your best. Do not affect the criticism of others' criticism. Excellent definition is wide, excellent is not the same as perfection. Learn in the process instead of pursuing perfect results. The correct diet and exercise are for health, not just for the ideal weight. If you are too worried about the evaluation of others and are afraid of being imperfect, this perfectionism will be self -destructive.

Finally, the amendment cognition is not so easy. The above self -service behavior requires persistent practice to continue to rise in the spiral.

references

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Benson, e. (2003). The Many Faces ofperfectionism. American Psychology Association.

CHA, A.E. (2016). Your PerfectisticistParenting style may be detrimental to your child. The Washington Post.

Dahl, m. (2014). The Alarming New Researchon Perviceism. Science of us.

Flett, G., Blankstein, K.R., Hewitt, P.L.L., & KOLEDIN, S. (1992). Components of Perfectis and Procrastic Students. Social Behavior and Personality, 20 (2). 85-9.

Gregoire, C. (2013). 14 SIGNS YOURPERFECTINISM HAS GOTTEN OUT of Control. Huffington Post.

Hewitt, P.L. & Flett, G.L. (1991).Perfectionism in the self and social context: Conceptualization, assessment,and association with psychopathology. Journal of Personality and SocialPsychology, 60(3), 456-470.

Moser, J.S., Slane, J.D., Burt, S.A., &Klump, K.L. (2012). Etiologic relationships between anxiety and dimensions ofmaladaptive perfectionism in young adult female twins. Depression and Anxiety,29, 47-53.

Sara, B. (2013). An Explration of Adaptiveand Maladaptive Peritionism as it relelates to intimate relatives.improving life.

Shrivastava, R. (2012). Are You Aperfectionist? Tips to overcome Perfectism. Cognitive healing.staff, p.t. (2003). The perfectionist ’sflawed marriage. Psycholography.

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Content comes from: Chinese Psychological Society Psychology Popularization Working Committee

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