When people are in their later years, it is best not to do these 3 things in their children's house to avoid desolate late scenes

Author:Ten o'clock reading Time:2022.09.16

As the saying goes: "No matter how sweet it is, I can't kiss my children."

When he was young, parents always covered all of them to cover the wind and rain; children also regarded their parents as the most important reliance.

But when they grew up, the children had their own lives and running, and it was difficult to accompany their parents at all times, and they were a little more alienated.

Some elderly people, although they still live together with their children, they have a suspicion due to the different concepts and habits of life, and even being disgusted by their children.

I want to get along well with my children and have a comfortable and smooth old age. When I get old, remember to do these three things in the children's house.

In the emotional mediation show "Happy Dictionary", a couple who had just got married for half a year had been married for half a year.

His wife Lulu said that at first, her relationship with her husband Xiaohui was quite sweet.

After the marriage, her mother -in -law began to be in all directions and penetrated into their marriage life.

Whether it is a big deal, you have to ask them one by one.

Because of the work, Lulu is sometimes too late to get off work, and will stay at home in a good female colleague.

In the past, her husband also understood that after the marriage, the mother -in -law always instigated her husband, saying that "the woman who had married, how could there be a reason for staying outside", which caused the young couple to argue about it.

When the new house was renovated, she and her mother -in -law kept divergent.

The style of the two generations is very different. The mother -in -law is mainly based on saving money, and the young couple wants to focus on their preferences.

Although in the end, the house was decorated according to the wishes of the small couple, but it was 20,000 yuan more than the budget.

To this end, her mother -in -law took out her ledger and paid a pen with Lulu.

Afterwards, she also asked her daughter -in -law to develop the habit of bookkeeping like her, so as to family expenses, as small as a light bulb, they must remember their whereabouts one by one.

Lulu was miserable for this. When he thought of the future, he would live in such an atmosphere, and he thought of divorce.

The mother -in -law also felt wronged, and it was obviously good intentions, but her daughter -in -law had so many complaints on her.

There are divergent opinions in the comment area. Some people say that daughter -in -law does not know how to do it, and some people say that my mother -in -law controls too much.

In life, there are actually many elderly people like Lulu.

They may be good at their original intention, but they want to teach their experiences to their children, let their children take less detours and suffer less suffering, but ignore: the child has grown up, and even has another little home.

In that home, the child and TA's partner are the main theme of life.

Being a parent, moderate care is intimate, and if you have care, you will be counterproductive.

Those sincerity and friendship may not be appreciated, and sometimes they even become difficult to surpass the parent -child.

In the book "Eternal Apple Tree", there is a saying very well:

"Regardless of whether parents can't let go, adult children will one day set up a new family, have their own children, have their own work, and have their own broad world."

In his later years, people respect their children's lifestyle, and do not draw hands in the name of love, which is the most wise and deepest love for children.

In the hit drama "Growing up with you", there is a scene that is quite impressive:

In order to allow his son Jiang Siyuan to go to a better elementary school, the couple He Jinghua worked hard to contact a teacher of Xiayang Road Elementary School.

In advance, the husband and wife also told Qian Ding to ask the son to perform well.

I don't want to. On the day of the meeting, the son not only answered a mess, but also deliberately fired the teacher's face with a water gun.

After the couple returned home, they began to severely criticize the educational son, hoping to keep him in memory.

But at this time, Jiang Siyuan's grandparents suddenly came.

The two old men stopped the Ho Jinghua couple and scolded them too harshly on their grandson.

He Jinghua asked the second old man not to stop, saying that her son was in trouble. She was giving the child rules.

It was because of the unreasonable naughty of his son, and he missed the opportunity to enter key primary schools.

However, the two elders of the He family still have an expressionless expression, and said:

"He is still a child, what can he do? Even if he doesn't go to school, it doesn't matter.

In this scene, countless audiences were angry, and they left a message saying "too real."

When the child does the wrong thing, the parents give the guidance education reasonable.

But once you meet an old man who likes to intervene at home, it is difficult for parents to implement various measures.

Perhaps, "Consultile, connecting tendons."

The old man naturally distressed his grandchildren, so he spoiled the children.

Whenever the discipline of the parents is severe, the old man will not be able to bear it, and even stops.

They thought that this was protecting the child, but in fact, the parents had a uniform frontal line in front of their children, and they were the biggest enemy on the road of education.

Every time they block and shelter will make their parents make the rules that can hardly establish it, and they will turn into ashes in an instant, and it will also make future discipline difficulties.

According to the authoritative survey data, the proportion of the elderly who help children take care of their grandchildren and grandchildren currently reach 66.47%.

The elderly have almost become the main force of the new generation of baby.

But too many families have contradictions because of the different educational concepts of the two generations.

Young people have the idea of ​​young people, and the older generation also has the experience of the older generation.

Perhaps all are good intentions. But for children, parents are the most important mentors in life, and they must escort their children's life. When you are old, don't get involved in the education of his grandson.

The main needs of children, supplemented by their own demands, and quantities can make children gain better education, and also make a home more harmonious and happy.

Some people often say: "People are old. If they give their savings to their children, the ending will be miserable."

Having said that, it is not unreasonable.

Without reservation, I cut off all my retreat.

Listening to a retired mother -in -law named Zhang talked about a sad experience.

She is 70 years old this year, and she had a house and deposit, and it was the age when she should enjoy her old age.

But because of the soft heart, he ended up in a desolate end.

She is a working worker. She worked hard for a lifetime. Although she didn't make much money, she also bought a house with her husband, and there were hundreds of thousands of deposits that saved money and saved.

But a few years ago, my wife died of a sudden myocardial infarction, and she had only one son left.

Although his son works in a foreign country all year round, he will come back from time to time to see her, and the concern on the phone has never been broken.

On one occasion, the son came back and said he wanted to make an investment. He hoped that his mother could pass the house to his name in advance and lend him the deposit.

And vowed to promise, when he made money this time, he took his mother to his own city to live.

Zhang's mother -in -law felt that there was only one son. After a hundred years, these were also him, and his son was usually filial, and he changed his money and house to his son name.

However, after the procedure is completed, the son's attitude seemed to change personal.

Later, the house was sold directly.

Today, she can only move to the storage room of her sister's house. In order not to be disliked, she always does more work as much as possible.

Although he regretted it, he couldn't pull his face to the court, and he could only slap his teeth and blood.

Thinking of a word: "Whoever in his old age is a storm."

When I was young, who was not years of wealthy and could be carried?

When you are old, when your body and ability are not as big as before, you will look forward to the branches.

But money is like a cruel tester, so that too many people and nature have nothing to do.

So what I want to say is that in his later years, don't give all the money to your children too early.

It is better to rely on others to rely on themselves, and having money to be the biggest sense of security;

Everything is planned for yourself, so that you can guarantee one more in the future.

Bai Yansong said: "A person is young and not afraid of suffering.

Yes, the years are not forgiven.

If you want to live smoothly in your old age, in addition to the filial piety of your child, you must rely on your own operations.

Don't worry too much, get involved in intervention.

Children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren. The parents can exit in time, so that the life of the children can gain real completeness.

Don't intervene in the education of the grandson, return the initiative to the children.

At any time, please think about yourself, then plan for others, and take care of yourself as the first essential.

Click [watching], I hope you and I can face the flow of time with a calm posture.

After getting old, there is a healthy body, a person who knows cold and warm, and has children under the knees of Cheng Huan. Every day in his later years lives comfortably.

Author | Su Yan, want to cure the desolation in your heart in words.

Picture | Visual China, the Internet (if there is any infringement, please contact delete)

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