Knowing 4 million people onlookers: What kind of experience is cleaning home?

Today is the 3173 days that I am intensive to accompany you for life -long growth

01

Recently, I saw a topic on Zhihu, 4.06 million reading volume:

"Without women and families, men may not care if they have money."

This sentence was said by Yu Minhong. While the questioner was surprised, it didn't seem to agree with it, and his tone was a little ironic.

I thought so at the beginning, after all, no matter whether men and women do not love money? But the answer of the respondent@但 但 overturned my thoughts.

The respondent said that his father chose to divorce in his 50s, and money and real estate were in the hands of his mother.

But even so, my father didn't feel discouraged at all, but lived happily than before. Every day, Rongguang is glowing, getting up early and climbing the mountains. The number of steps every day is much more powerful than young people.

"The grievances who lived in the past half of my life were a thoughtful thinking to make money to support the family. The money was given all the money to your mother. You want to spend a bigger money and ask your mother. . Thinking about it for a lifetime. Now, it's okay, it's completely liberated, don't have to be crowded every day, and you're managed. The children are growing up, and I don’t need to worry about it. I am still okay now. What do you do, the pension of retirement is enough for me to spend, and now I can control the body and do not have a serious illness. "

This is the original words of my father.

Many people are curious. What kind of grievances are it in marriage?

The respondent is also very refreshing. In order to satisfy everyone's curiosity, I directly posted a link I wrote about my parents 'strange behavior in the post, and counted the mothers' not.

For example, as a child was young, as long as the mother was in a bad mood, she would scold the respondent for no reason:

On one occasion, my mother walked around in the room. When I walked across me, I suddenly saw that I was not pleasing to the eye. I picked up the cup in my hand and knocked on my head. I was shocked than the pain. shocked. She walked away without any matter. I didn't dare to say tears, because I knew that if I dared to say a word, it would only attract more scolds.

For example, splash it if you don't agree:

Mother and father quarreled. Regardless of the winning or losing, we will get our breath in the end. We dare not squeak. The mother seemed to be wronged than us. He lay down on the bed and cried and howl, sighing his life, pity, and not wanting to live. Then he started to go on a hunger strike, and then sorrowed his headache. He couldn't breathe, and he was going to die. Our whole family makes food to the bedside and coax her for dinner. In the end, only everyone has a hunger strike with her, saying that she won't eat with her without eating. She sees us so "sincerity", and she will be embarrassed to eat. Essence

For another example, everyone knows the scandals at home:

The most stupid thing she does is that every time my dad is promoted, she will find all kinds of troubles to my dad's unit, and my dad will lose her job. And operated twice. My father was handsome, and his mother was cut off by my mother. In the end, he could only open a shop at home to do some camp students.

Native

02

Seeing this, everyone finally understood the father's father.

The comments almost condemned the mother's mother, and some people directly said "don't get married."

But the end of a marriage is really just a hundred points wrong?

There is a word that says: a bad marriage must be hidden in a bad self.

The mother's mother was more obvious, but the father's father was not flawless.

As the response said behind, treating the contradictions of her mother -in -law, my father always plays the role of wall grass, and then leads the contradiction to a climax.

The respondent said that his parents were also married through free love, and the two had true love.

In addition, her mother is not at the beginning of love or marriage. Most of them are in complex marriage relationships. In family chores, they are strong, but do not understand the change of thinking, do not trust, and have no sense of security. Steps to today's situation.

The mother who knows the response reminds me of Fang Yinuo in "Dear Child".

Fang Yinuo, played by Ren Suxi, is also a hysterical person with a good grade and a person who sprays people's brain pain.

I remember there was a scene in the play. Fang Yinuo's husband Xiao Lu was considerate of her hard work. She deliberately bought catfish to stew her soup, but she bought catfish wrong.

Looking at the fish bought by Xiao Lu, Fang Yinuo fry the hair instantly, and scolded: That catfish is milk, is the catfish milk? Don't buy it in the future, don't care about these things! Don't understand, you have to grab it!

There is also a scene, the child Hehe fell, and the couple took her to the hospital to shoot to see if there was any injury to his head. When he returned home from the hospital, Xiao Lu opened the door of the co -driver.

After seeing Fang Yinuo, he began to look anxious again, and said angrily, "Can I sit in front of my child?"

Perhaps in the eyes of everyone, Fang Yinuo is a noisy and strong villon.

But people almost forgot that when her mother was broken, her amniotic fluid was broken, and she would still let her husband go home to work first, and he could support himself.

Watching the show will find that Xiao Lu, as a husband, is actually absent in the family.

If he knows that his wife's hysteria may be caused by the unstable postpartum hormone, and he will not escape the responsibility of parenting by work, rather sleep in the car, and he is unwilling to go home to coax the child, not to mention soothe your body and mind fatigue. Wife.

Marriage life has never been able to take a closer look. Only by being tolerant, seriously operating, and constantly digging the beauty of them can we harvest happiness from the moment of fuzzy pain.

03

The parents who know the response, Fang Yinuo and Xiao Lu in "Dear Child", the reason for his divorce can seem to be summarized as "three views."

People always say that don't be with people who are not in line with Sanguan.

But in fact, most of the two people who love each other are mostly inconsistent.

Psychological counselor Luo Jinyue said:

If the three views are unsuitable, it means that you can stay on the surface if you can't accept the relationship. You also want two people closer. So you start to reveal your trueness in the relationship, and the other party starts to show the truth, so you feel that each other is so different. Therefore, the real relationship is a bit wrong.

The three views are not a choice error, but a process that will inevitably experience when marriage wants to be closer.

If you want to pass this test, the key to getting into a close understanding of each other is not whether to transform the other party successfully, or whether the other party understands you and recognize you, but:

When the other party does not recognize you and does not understand you, can you understand yourself and support yourself through self -growth, so as to have the opportunity to live a more real self.

After reading a story, when the wife and husband were just married, they couldn't see each other's consumption view of each other.

His wife usually spends money generously and thinks that "money is spent", but the husband thinks that "money is saved", and it will never spend a penny to spend a penny.

For this reason, the two often had disputes and even made a divorce.

In the end, the wife decided that the two people AA system did not interfere with each other, and used the time of disputes to self -improvement.

In just two years, not only did she work stronger, she also learned financial investment. In the process, she also realized some of the previous mistakes of consumption.

After seeing her growth and changes, her husband learned to reflect on herself, and understood all the reasons from herself.

Later, the relationship between the couple was sweeter than before marriage, and the concept of consumption also reached a consensus.

The first step of a person to happiness must be his own efforts and actions.

If you are willing to start the second growth of your life, after this test, you will find that there is no relationship that will be more suitable for you than your current relationship.

Therefore, when others are telling you that if you are dissatisfied, you can change it, I hope you can be sober and understand:

If you are willing to choose to grow yourself in your marriage and bravely face the challenges that can't escape, you will be easier to be happy!

- END -