What should I do if I don't want to enter the classroom?Why don't children want to go to school?Please take a serious look at your parents

After a summer vacation, in the face of the new semester, the children greeted the school life with all the mentality of re -start, but in fact the situation did not change at all. Originally determined that "I must try it well next semester", but the classmates in the class have already known each other. It seems that it is difficult to naturally integrate into a small collective or get close to someone.

Children in adolescence will affirm themselves through the relationship with other students in the collective. Therefore, if there is a problem in the relationship with classmates, the child's self -esteem will be frustrated.

At the beginning, it was just rejected by a friend, but in the end it turned into a distrust of themselves. In this case, children can easily have doubts about their own behavior, attitude, way of speaking, appearance, etc. The negative ideas such as not good enough, it is a weird person, and you will also have the idea of ​​transferring to study.

When encountering such problems, parents are always angry and powerless. Some will educate their children, and some will even play a meal first, but this does not dispel the child's thoughts, but makes the child more rebellious.

How to do it to truly solve and dispel children's thoughts? In "18 Key Dialogue with Children's Children", the author gives parents a lot of practical suggestions on this issue.

01

What should I do if my child wants to transfer to school, does not want to go to school, and does not want to enter the classroom?

Children in adolescence will affirm themselves through the relationship with other students in the class. If there is a problem with interpersonal communication, the idea of ​​"dropping out of school" is often given.

For some children, even if others simply want to get close to their good friends, they will also threaten them. They will worry that good friends will be snatched or they are alienated.

Parents need to let their children understand "associated with others, starting with caring for themselves", "it is normal for someone to not like themselves". Try to help him understand the idea of ​​refusing to make friends with him and other children, so that he knows that "it is normal for someone to not like themselves."

To make this child think carefully, in fact, he is not a good friend who is not close to himself, and let him try to plan something that can be done with good friends.

To let him understand that friends who get along with unpleasantness will not have basic greetings, daily dialogue, and not showing a very close or lowering attitude, let him try to accept "the response of the other party" is originally Personal freedom, don't show your pain and troubles to friends who have a good relationship with yourself, and do not take the approval of other friends in a way to say bad things about others.

Because one day, maybe I will be close or close to the children who say bad things, and the bad things that have been said before are likely to fly towards themselves like a rotary dart, which will worsen each other's relationship again. Although these methods do not disappear in interpersonal communication for children, at least it can allow him to find a sense of security in a short period of time.

In fact, most of the children in adolescence have such uneasiness, and they also hope to get the care and support of others. Parents can discuss how to build the correct interpersonal relationship with their children to help children spend this period. It seems that more and more children do not know how to build good interpersonal relationships, which makes parents worry.

In fact, interpersonal communication also needs to be learned. If children have a healthy interaction with their parents, siblings and sisters in their families, they can often better establish friendship with people outside the family.

In "18 Key Dialogue with Children's Children", some suggestions that can be made to parents can be given to their children. Not late or absent, prepare things that should be brought, prepare for exams, hand in time, do not doze off on time, do not sleep in class, work hard to improve their results; if you really want to transfer to school Someone may talk to themselves on the way to learn or rest. Therefore, it is recommended that they do not wear headphones, neatly wear, sort out their hair, keep the instrumental state, brush their teeth after lunch.

02

The child said, "Nothing, just don't want to go." What should I do?

"Nothing" is a common language in adolescent children when communicating with adults, and sometimes they do not even notice the hidden meaning behind this sentence.

In fact, parents have carefully figured out their children's hearts, and they are more useful to agree with their children's situation than threats and persuasion.

"I hate going to school, I want to take a break." One day, a child suddenly said to his mother and asked him the reason, he just said, "Nothing, just don't want to go." The child is particularly stubborn. Although the mother was panicked, she had no choice but to let him go to the school to get the consent of the teacher first, and then she put the problem first.

Later, the child moved to the psychological counseling room and said to the consulting teacher: "Reading can not guarantee that it will succeed." "My dream is to be a writer, but if you come to school, you will not have enough time to practice writing." "I want to have more time and know more about myself." After listening to his reason for school, the consulting teacher asked him if there were other reasons. At this time, he said that he had the problems and distress he encountered in interpersonal communication. Essence

"Nothing" is that when the child answers the question, it is easy to blurt the question. How should parents interpret this sentence? There may be a lot of meaning behind this sentence, and sometimes even the child may not be able to detect the meaning behind it. If a child suddenly does unexpected actions or spoke unusual words, there are usually reasons, all of which show the pain that the child has been struggling for a long time. While the child said, "I have no problem, I am good", they may subconsciously want to escape some kind of discomfort and pain. His performance will look awkward, and often keep a distance from others.

To help such children, parents need to listen to the meaning behind the phrase "want to go to school." You can use "Oh, so you feel so hard!" "It turns out that there are things that make you so uncomfortable and dissatisfied in life, so you want you to take a break!" Then listen to and understand the actual situation of the child, and give advice and help moderately.

Because of concerns, if you can't help but threatened and persuaded, "You must go to school anyway", this will not help the children at all.

Please remember that even if you are full of anger, don't say to the stubborn and fragile children, "What do you want you in your own life?" "I regret it in the future" "If you can't even do this, you can't do this, you can't do this, you can't do this, you can't do this, you can't do this What do you do? "But like" Come on, let's endure it, support it! "Such comfort and encouragement have no help to the child. When the children hear this, they will only feel that the parents will not simply do not simply do not simply do it. Know how tired you are.

At this time, it is better to say "you are really hard, very tired" to the child, and recognize their situation, and then let them be willing to communicate with themselves more.

03

What should I do if I do n’t want to tell her mother if I do n’t want to find a school?

Children in adolescence often establish social relations through online media to avoid social distress they encountered in school life.

Parents need to use simple and rude ways like "going to school theory" to help their children resolve contradictions.

Unlike before, in addition to grades and further studies, parents still need to spend a lot of effort to pay attention to their children's social problems. They don't seem to be good at dealing with people directly, and it is more difficult to build and maintain a stable friendship relationship. If the child encounters a problem in interpersonal communication, the parent's primary task is to judge whether the child has a dispute with others or suffering from crowding or bullying.

Sometimes, even if everyone is playing well together, things that vent their anger on their weaker classmates are continuously staged in words or actions. Many children are afraid of their friends betraying themselves, dare not speak in their hearts and disconnects, and often feel lonely. lonely. Under such circumstances, building a short friendship with netizens who do not need to meet seems to make children feel more comfortable. However, the practice of children's disputes in daily life to social networks will also cause new problems.

Most of these children will not consider the consequences. For a moment, they will make all their thoughts open on the Internet. Because anyone can see the contents of the release, netizens do not have to comment on the content published in their own true identity, so it is easier to leave a fierce and extreme message, and it is easier to condense into a small group. The cruel attack was eventually developed into a speech violence or online bullying incident.

As a parent, sometimes knowing that the child is facing the predicament, but he can't find a suitable response, and sometimes it makes an inappropriate response. Some parents will use their emotions and express their desires first, and as a result, children will be in a more difficult situation.

For example, calling or finding the theory of students who hurt their children directly, making things bigger and difficult to end. Different children in adolescence are different from young children. They put on their racks to adults, not only cannot let them admit their mistakes, but it is easy to attract aggressive behavior. Yourself! "You may want to face their provocations calmly," warn "or" advise "each other clearly, but these methods are probably only effective for children in elementary school.

When a child encounters problems in interpersonal communication, what extent should the parents intervene in depending on the child's personality and actual situation. The most important thing is to fully understand the child's attitude towards the parents. When the children have quarreled from the beginning, make the other party uncomfortable jokes, and say bad things about others on social networks to develop a bullying behavior, if their child is the injured party Parents must actively intervene to avoid danger.

Of course, this is not to say that we immediately report to the police after discovery. We should first understand the situation from the parties and confirm what happened. Parents should not have a preconceived solution, and asking children what they want to do is also important. For example, "Do you want to go to school to find relevant persons in charge? Or communicate with the other person directly?" And so on.

In addition, because the head teacher can see the child's side that has never been shown in front of his parents, you must also refer to the opinions and opinions of the class teacher when you understand the situation. You can also meet the other party's parents under the arrangement of the class teacher.

There may be a lot of variables in this process, but don't forget that your children have to get along with other children for a long time. Do not let children be isolated at school.Also, no matter what method is decided to solve the problem, it is best to allow children to accept psychological counseling. Children can learn how to relieve the pressure of being excluded or encountered by bullying in the process of psychological counseling.Children will have a lot of help.

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