Teach you to save the former "Emotional Master". In fact

When the "textbook" from the consultant turned out to be a love variety show, Chu Chu realized that the emotional consulting company was unreliable at all.

It's too late to regret it. She has signed a three -month -old contract with a fee of nearly 10,000 yuan. According to the terms, it is difficult for her to return to this money, let alone her and the signing company are not in a city at all, and the "emotional mentor "It has always been online.

Chu Chu wrote his lesson on Xiaohongshu and hit Tag "Emotional Consultation". The content under this entry is polarized. One is that the emotional institutions are advertising with the perfect case of packaging, and the other is the fierce vomiting post of users who have suffered losses. Most of the latter experiences are similar to Chu Chu. After paying the money, they discovered that the emotional consultant gives a simple and rude "routine", which is difficult to apply to its own specific issues.

How does emotional consulting agency serve customers?

Chu Chu "deceived"

In 2020, Chu Chu had a boy who was like. The two did not progress. She was worried that she could not go further, and she didn't know how to change the status quo.

At this time, she brushed a video on Douyin, and an "emotional expert" head was an authentic analysis of "how to capture his heart." Chu Chu opened the expert's homepage, all of which are "a few habits that make you more attractive" and "teach you a few tricks to make TA retrospective" and other practical content that can solve her troubles. There is also contact WeChat below the account, which can further consult emotional issues.

Emotional Consultation Example

She wanted to seek the help of professionals, and she added WeChat. After listening to her, WeChat's receptionist said, "Your own problem in this relationship is very big. If you still keep the status quo, you will lose him soon."

Chu Chu was panicked. When she asked for help, the other party recommended the "gold medal instructor" of the organization. The "gold medal mentor" also told Chu Chu seriously that she had a problem with her feelings and needed to adjust her strategy as soon as possible.

Under the panic of the person who lost his heart, Chu Chu quickly chose a package that included the "gold medal instructor" for three months for three months, and 1 hour of telephone consultation.

However, after a one -to -one guidance began, Chu Chu discovered that the "textbook" of the instructor was simply a popular love variety show and emotional chicken soup book. The circle of friends, showing the style of life, called "second attraction".

Friends circle copywriting guidance

Chu Chu is disappointed, "Variety shows are others, the book is from others, and the copywriting is also someone else. What is your mentor?" But when Chu Chu threw out the question, the instructor would repeat the initial induction of her to buy a service package: "If you don't take it hard, you and him can only do that."

What is even more outrageous is that during the three -month service period, Chu Chu was forced to change three mentors. When each mentor left, he said that he would "go back to your hometown" and "recommend you a better one for you tutor".

Her impression of the three "gold medals" is blurred. They all use photos of suit and leather shoes as WeChat avatars. They all use the same textbook guidance and use the same skills to attack her self -confidence. The circle of friends is also the same, and the same successful cases are regularly posted, and the chicken soup texts such as "Men love you, see these three points". Sometimes Chu Chu didn't even know whether it was the person in the avatar photo.

Chu Chu soon stopped renewing the service of this agency. She chose to disclose her experience on Xiaohongshu and avoid lightning for other users. As a result, she found that there were not a few people similar to experience.

The field survey of sociologists found that behind such "Guang Sa.com" emotional consulting routines is a factory -style assembly line.

"Emotional Experts" who are quickly on -the -job

In April of this year, Liu Haiping of Shenzhen University of Technology published "" Emotional Experts on the Flowing Line and Labor who followed the dream -take the training of Guangzhou Wedding Consulting Company as an example ". , An experience of participating in the emotional consulting trainer project in a wedding consulting company in Guangzhou.

In more than a year before and after, Liu Haiping deeply interviewed 8 senior consultants and 8 internship consultants. Of which 8 senior consultants were from psychology, and the other 6 backgrounds were all over the world. There were real estate sales. After the vocational school teachers, Taobao freelancers, they all obtained a marriage and family consultant certificate after a one -and -a -half -month training of the company. This certificate application condition only requires "other colleges and universities with other majors and or above, participating in regular training to achieve prescribed hours, and passing the graduation examination."

The textbook for the marriage and family consultant certificate is obtained, the gold content of this certificate is not high

The key to the zero -basic speed of consultants is to "lineization" of emotional counseling. Here, the "assembly line" refers to dividing the process of production products into multiple "standardized" steps. Even workers who have never been trained can produce products that meet the requirements as long as they are operated in accordance with the "standard" operation.

The consultant interviewed told Liu Haiping that "the company's universal model based on thousands of real consultation cases" is the core essential of training, and it is the "standard" on this assembly line. For example, the question of how to get rid of the order is the process of "self-awareness-expanding social circle-communication skills-dating techniques-establishing connection-relationship upgrade"; marriage maintenance is "finding the focus of the problem/repelled Primary Three → secondary time "Attraction"; rejuvenation is "cutting off-self-self-improvement-recovery contact-secondary attraction-enhancement relationship". What the consultant wants to learn is to quickly attribute a variety of emotional issues to the category when answering the emotional consultation call, and apply the universal template to persuade customers to buy services.

The founder of the company calls it "intimate relationship consultation industrialization". He firmly believes that "everything is an assembly line, customer consultation is a set of processes, and the training consultant also has a process. Just listen to the visitors. "

What is the difference between emotional consultation and psychological counseling?

In the name of "Consultation", emotional consultation is easily reminiscent of more mature and standardized psychological counseling.

Psychological counseling is widely available, and there are also consultants specializing in intimate relationships. Although the confusion of the visitors is similar, psychological counseling work is very different from emotional consulting in many aspects.

Guo Lanxin, a psychological counselor, believes that the most significant difference between the two is how the consultant responds to the needs of the visitors.

Taking the common "recovery service" of emotional counseling agencies as an example, psychological counselors will retreat with the other party when they are eager to recover the demands of the visitors.

"We may have to break some ideal places and let visitors think about why they desire to establish a relationship with this person, why will it develop the current interpersonal way? Is there any other support in life, in other interpersonal relationships, in other interpersonal relationships Is this the same? "

"Emotional counseling is to find common problems from many cases, and then propose a fast solution. It may indeed meet the current needs, but it is more like a kind of drinking and quenching thirst." Guo Lanxin said.

For the emotional counselor, the reconciliation of the two is the ultimate goal of service. For such a result, emotional consultants may directly involve the relationship between the two, such as chat. However, in psychological counseling, except for crisis and partner consultation, psychological counselors will not intervene in the relationship between the visitor and others.

Talk on Taobao on Taobao

Psychological counselor Feng Haoran believes that once one -on -one consultation involves third parties, it may involve ethical issues, which will break the confidentiality of psychological counseling, and may reduce the sense of trust in the consultation. "For example A entrusting agency to contact B, then whether B is willing to be contacted, and whether B is willing to be communicated, all involve issues that may not respect personal will. "

In addition, the charges and consultation models of psychological counseling and emotional consultation are also different. Psychological counseling usually uses the form of consultation on the opposite side of the line as much as possible. There is a fixed frequency of meeting. The fee is charged strictly.

Most emotional counseling is online services. Like the WeChat chat and telephones experienced by Chu Chu, the consultant kept "follow -up" like a salesperson, and immediately responded to the customer's questions during all working hours. The charging model is also a package, such as the monthly, and the seasons. During the validity period of the package, it provides customers with corresponding services.

The package seems to provide a kind of peace of mind, but Guo Lanxin believes, "How much money I spend wants to make my other half back is a very ideal idea in itself. If a problem occurs, it is impossible to return to the problem." The order -guided emotional consultation will cause visitors to avoid the cause of the problem. Just thinking about solving the current crisis is everything.

In this situation, the emotional consultation model has the biggest problem -despite the love appearance and the situation of the visitor, the emotional consultant provides the guidance and the results of the efficiency and sales results. To accommodate very different personal problems of each visitor.

Emotional consultation is not reliable, why is it so hot?

Compared with the psychological counseling of a certain industry specification, emotional consulting is still in a state of barbaric growth. Not only does it have no industry standards, but there is no unified ethical consensus.

Liu Haiping mentioned in the paper that in 2017, the Communist Youth League Central Committee, the Ministry of Civil Affairs, and the National Health and Family Planning Commission jointly issued the "Guiding Opinions on Further Doing a Better of Youth Marriage and Love", but in the past few years, the industry chaos has not improved too much improvement. Essence

However, even if there are many voices that question and criticize, why can't we stop a family emotional consulting company starting a business and blowout? Why is a confused visitor investing in emotional consultation, not the embrace of psychological counseling?

One reason is that the severe changes in contemporary society are flowing. The state of young people is flowing, and the concept of traditional wedding and love has become increasingly difficult to match this state. Young people are abandoning tradition, but shabby has not brought new. What to do is good? Young people have no answer.

In short, it's very confused

British sociologist Anthony Giddens believes that young people in Chinese cities are becoming "flowing, uneasy and open" when treating love. Under the rapid progress of urbanization, we can no longer live in a certain area like ancestors. People are increasingly scattered into modern metropolises to make a living. It seems easier to meet people with different identities and backgrounds. It has more romantic opportunities, but it also means that it is easier to discrete. Gadenus believes that the light people can no longer rely on the experience of the past, and search for love as if they are sailing in a "area to be drawn", full of "new danger".

During this journey, the suggestions given by psychological counseling are the anti -intuitive "around the far away" that "go to the north and must travel south", but emotional counseling can provide a seemingly certain truth that can work directly for the problem. Fuck.

"The shortest shortcut is around the distance" | "Jojo's Wonderful Adventure"

Liu Haiping has a friend who graduated from the top university and is smart and capable of her on weekdays, but after her feelings are frustrated, she believes in Ayawawa. Liu Haiping was impressed by a word that friends said, "She said,‘ We are so good, why do n’t you feel like learning, as long as I work hard to get back? ’”.

Ayawawa's similarity with emotional counseling is very high. Their theory is certain. At least when promoting, the audience will believe, "You can change and make efforts, you can gain feelings."

One of the facts that must be faced is that emotional consultants and visitors are the relationship between "mentor" and "student", which is very different from psychological counseling that emphasizes companionship and advocate equality. For example, the company surveyed by Liu Haiping requested that the consultant must call himself "a certain teacher". The consultant often uses high -end prayers, instead of questioning, and frequently use words such as "must" and "should". But it is the setting of this relationship that makes users who are eager to solve problems quickly believe that emotional consultants are experts, so that they prefer emotional consultation.

Zhang Ye, a professor of anthropology at the University of California, studied the "water and water" encountered by psychological counseling in China. She mentioned that a key challenge faced by Chinese psychotherapists is how to make the knowledge and therapeutic model from the West "in line with" China's social norms, cultural values ​​and desires.

"Although the therapist strives to create an open environment, they find that it is difficult to change the expectations of the visitors and the expectations of the authoritative guidance."

This is related to cultural psychology. Qian Mingyi and others of Psychology at Peking University believe that in the process of socialization, the Chinese have always been required to obey the instructions of the elders, authority and professionals, and the trust and dependence of experts in the subconscious.

Experts represent "authority" and represent "certainty", which is the savior straw that people want to grasp in uncertainty. "When they are in a hurry, if they can jump out of an expert and give this kind of certainty, even pseudo -experts can do it." Liu Haiping said.

It must be a grounded expert, otherwise it is not as good as "don't recommend"

Trust and dependence point to the greater expectations of the effect of consulting. Zhang Ye found that a psychological counseling visitors often look forward to a straightforward diagnosis and the guidance that can quickly solve the problem.

For the therapist, the main task of the first visit is to soothe the visitor's emotions and collect basic information, but the visitor may look forward to the first time you will know what to do. Some visitors may think, "If my therapist can't give me effective guidance, why should I waste money and time? I want the real results so that I can believe in the other party's ability. Can't solve my problem. "

At the moment when people are most ill, they will inevitably have the mentality of eager to solve problems quickly. Feng Haoran understood this, "The visitors are not willing to slow down, but I don't think it is a question of the visitors. When they face the real problem anxiously, what they want most is to explore their inner heart first. Organizational structure.

The needs that cannot be met by psychological counseling have become a hotbed of emotional counseling. Regardless of the actual effectiveness, "How to catch up with a boy", "How to block the husband's derailment", "Quickly get the girl's pickup skills" and other topics, etc. at a glance, you can cut the emotional anxiety of contemporary people in the middle of the middle. People seek to solve it and do not solve it. As long as they can quickly solve the current problems, they can breathe first.

Emotional mutual assistance, how to localize

Many emotional counseling companies' "step" cases show that complex and unknown emotional relationships are solved with templates and assembly lines, and it is likely that "cure and not cure".

Guo Lanxin encountered a visitor who felt that psychological counseling could not quickly solve the current problem. Some of them ended psychological counseling and turned to emotional consultation, but returned to psychological counseling after being "secondary damage".

Guo Lanxin believes that if the problem is temporarily stamped by emotional counseling skills, problems in the interpersonal mode are likely to emerge again. "Once a new occurrence, there may even be a new problem, and the visitors have no ability to respond, and may even be more harmful."

Liu Haiping also communicated with the emotional consultant from psychology and found that they knew that the success rate of emotional consultation was unknown. "Some customers are looking forward to solving the problem of more than 30 years in the three -month consultation, which is obviously unrealistic." There is also a consultant who specializes in recovery told her that even if the recovery is successful, the 70%chance will break up again. After asking the company's owner to question the emotional consultation "cure the standard and not the root cause", the boss answered Liu Haiping like this: "You in your academic circles criticize us every day, these customers come to you, can you solve this problem? For example After a female client left her husband, she lost her financial source. This situation must maintain her marriage even if her husband derailed. "

"Love Defense", "Gold Medal Mediation", "peacemaker" and other mediation programs

Similar to emotional counseling, the mentors are all instructed to guide the parents short

This also made Liu Haiping start thinking. When people criticized the emotional consultation "to cure the standards and not the root cause", what is the "book"? Is emotional consultation really nothing?

Liu Haiping has seen many brocade flags sent by customers in the field investigating company, many customers who have not successfully recovered. "Many people gave up when they were half emotionally recovered. He realized that the demand he had recovered was unreasonable, but he felt that the service was worth it because you accompanied me to the most painful and most wanted to recover the one that he had to recover. For a period of time, I come to send the flag. "On the social media full of lightning protection and tuning posts on emotional consultation, this is a side without presenting.

A set of "universal templates" of emotional counseling will routine and flatterization of emotional problems. These methods may indeed solve the actual confusion of some people. Just as some people do taste the sweetness from Ayawawa's theory.

In any case, it is necessary to determine that there are currently a considerable industry vacuum in the field of pan -psychological health. The good and bad in the marriage consultation industry, mixed fish and dragons, scammers who are in the banner of consultation are still muddy.

But every field has worked hard to make the industry more standardized and help more people. In psychological counseling, the Chinese Psychological Society is trying to launch a professional institution and professional registration system for psychological counseling. Some emotional counseling companies also imagine that the consulting service is made into an open and shared community.

It is hoped that one day, the emotional question of the Chinese people can find the most suitable answer.

references

[1] Liu Haiping. (2019). "Emotional Experts" and workers on the flow line-take the dream-seeking workers-take the training of Guangzhou Wedding Consulting Company as an example. Chinese Youth Studies, (4), 48-54.

[2] haiping, liu. (2020). SuccessOLOGY for WOMEN: Relationship Experts and Sociobiology Discourses. In: love stries in China. London and News: Routledge.pp.43-61.61.

[3] li, zhang. (2014). BENTUHUA: Culturing psychotherapy in postsocialist China. Culture, Medicine, and psychiatry, 38,283-305.

[4] Giddens, Anthony. (1991). Modernity and Self-Ions. Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press.

[5] qian, mingyi, craing w smith, zhonggeeng chen, and guohua xia. (2002). Psychotherapy in China: a review of its history and contemporary.

Author: Xizhou

Edit: Emeria, You Zhixuan, Odette

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