What preparations do you need to make before love?

China Youth Network, Beijing, September 9th (Reporter Li Huaxi) Falling in love is usually considered a beautiful experience. So, what preparations do you need to make before love? China Youth Network reporters interviewed Wang Xiaoling, a teacher of the Tianjin University Psychological Health Education Center and the lecturer of "Love Psychology" course.

"Some people compare their love to the weather. In addition to the clear gas, the wind and the sun, they occasionally storm and rain and lightning. Some people compare their love as macarons. Taste; others compare their love to double dances, test whether the dance and rhythm of the two people are tacit. "Wang Xiaoling recognizes the love to travel. Whether this journey is smooth? For example, whether it is well worn, whether there is electricity in the mobile phone, whether the car is oil? "If the most basic preparation is not done well, it may be full of situation, which makes it difficult for you to enjoy this journey. It is serious to even encounter danger and hurt yourself."

She has been engaged in the teaching and psychological counseling of "Love Psychology" for many years. She is often asked by students what preparations should be done. Based on her experience, she must first know herself. "If you don't have a clear understanding of yourself, it is really difficult to judge what kind of person is suitable for himself." Wang Xiaoling said that the so -called "right" person is not a good family, nor is it the appearance of the face, the status of education, etc. The ideal object of "eligible" is the person who "meets the needs of love and psychology".

For example, for example, for example, some people are particularly eager to feel security, even if they are not handsome and not beautiful, they can make you feel safe; some people value understanding and support, even if the education is not high, you can talk to you very much; Others need to be concerned, and you will feel very happy when you meet the other person. "So, what you need to know is: what is your core psychological needs."

Second, there must be moderate love expectations. Wang Xiaoling said that many people are looking forward to the "soul partner" and eager to meet someone who can understand anything without saying anything. Other people are not satisfied with themselves, but project the hope on their partners and hope that the other party is perfect. "Actually, these are‘ unreasonable expectations ’.”

She believes that the two people who tacitly tacitly talk about dialogue on the same channel. Even so, the two will still have misunderstandings due to individual differences, and they need to run in and effectively communicate with each other. The encounter of the two souls is fate, and it is necessary to run in each other for a long time. Properly reduce expectations, and more considerate tolerance is the best runner.

In the end, Wang Xiaoling believes that he must be prepared for love. Although people in love are longing for love to bloom, many couples are always separated for various reasons.

She analyzed whether to measure the success of love depends on whether to complete the two psychological tasks in this relationship: first, better understanding herself; the other is to enhance the ability of love and learn to love yourself and love others better. Lost love is painful, but it cannot be painful, and it must be gaining growth from falling in love. She suggested that young people not "dare not start" because they are "afraid of losing" and because they are scratching food, "then they can never feel the beauty of love, leaving a lot of regrets for themselves."

"Of course, the sufficient psychological preparation is just the beginning. What kind of scenery will this unknown journey go and whether the journey is happy, you need two people to experience and experience it together." Wang Xiaoling said that sometimes, love is caught off guard, maybe it may be too late to come. When you are fully prepared, you will start "Speaking of travel". As long as two people love each other, the problem is not a problem. How can the problem be a problem? Good intimacy is to need two people to operate together.

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