"Sober love brain is the most terrible"

This seems to be the most densely loved brain on the Internet,

The most sober is always netizens in the comment area.

Netizens in the comment area seem to be a quality inspector on the emotional assembly line.

Check and check all kinds of emotional posts that are transmitted.

And can quickly and accurately distinguish the loopholes in various emotional problems,

In the end, it is like a stamp of unqualified goods,

S levelably knocked on comments such as "keeping what you do" or "blessing lock".

On the one hand, I admire such a soberness,

Can fully weigh the advantages and disadvantages, understand timely stop loss, and never drag water.

On the other hand, I can’t help but think about those who are tangled about emotional issues and even post online for suggestions.

Just because I am not awake enough, do I hope netizens can help myself see the problem?

I don't think so.

Because in real life, there is actually a case that the other party will choose the opposite option regardless of how others analyze the persuasion.

Just like some time ago, the stalks of "800 persuasion and eventually coming to eat" circulating on the Internet.

Those who seem to be deep in a relationship that they are not optimistic,

Perhaps it is not the soberness of the problem, but the determination to leave this relationship.

I think of a friend of me.

My relationship with her was alienated because of a "persuasion" experience.

For a while, I received a lot of negative emotions when she got along with her boyfriend.

From these negative emotions, I can clearly perceive her unhappiness in this relationship and the problems of the other party.

But many times, she chose to compromise under the "harmony" of the man.

Friends' "persuasion" will only resonate when she is emotional, and then it will fail soon.

Once she suffered a serious injury, but she still chose to forgive the other party,

And treat it as a trial and error caused by "because it is not sensible to each other".

Because of the differences in this matter, she no longer actively shared my feelings with me, and I no longer asked.

After that, our sharing desire was slowly compressed into "vacuum", and our relationship also stopped growing in this vacuum.

For a long time in the past, I was trapped in a complex emotion that was combined from uncomfortable, sad and regrettable.

Until in a book called "Beautiful World, where are you", when I read a confession of the heroine Irene,

I suddenly understood my friend's choice.

Perhaps, Shen Yan is in a person who is not optimistic.

It is not that you do not understand timely stop loss, but you dare not stop loss in time.

On the heroine Irene, I found an explanation.

Irene once talked with a boy named Ai Dan for several years. Under the proposal of the other party, the two broke up.

Many years later, when Irene remembered this relationship again, a deep self -analysis suddenly started.

she says:

"I have thought about breaking up with Aidan many times, and even told others many times, but why didn't I put it in action?

I think this is not because I love him, although I have loved ...

Sometimes I feel that I am afraid that my life will still remain unchanged after losing him.

So I have to accept it all my fault.

It is easier and safer to stay in a bad situation than taking the initiative to leave it ...

Maybe I don't believe that I am worthy of good things ... "

Irene’s confession made me think that there may be a lot of girls like Irene,

They do not want to leave a less good relationship,

Instead, I don't believe that I will become better after leaving this relationship, and even worse.

From childhood to large, every time Irene had a dispute with her sister, parents always stood side by side with their sister.

So that Irene slowly lost the ability to "believe in himself better".

Later, this kind of unconfidence slowly evolved into a personality that stopped losses in a relationship in a relationship.

This reminds me of the scene I have watched in the waiting hall of the station.

A mother took a pair of sisters and sisters who was similar to age and waited in the hall.

She grabbed two toys from the bag of the toy to the pair of sisters.

It seems that the younger brother is obviously novel, and the sister is older in hand.

The sister and brother played each other for a while, and the sister told her mother that she didn't want to play with her, and looked at the toy in her brother.

Unexpectedly, the mother took the toy in the girl's hand and handed it to her brother, and said coldly:

"I don't want to play if I don't want to play."

The girl would definitely not think that it turned out that she had gone down the toys that she didn't like, and she had nothing.

The idea of ​​"don't believe in what you deserve better" is probably at that moment, engraved in the girl's heart.

A blogger I was concerned about@我 我 我, I have received a letter about my hesitation in a bad relationship.

The sound of persuasion in the comment area continued, and the words that bloggers said were very impressive.

She said that in the Internet, "persuasion and persuasion" is the mainstream trend.

Because in the face of a stranger, it is always easy to persuade points.

And if the person who is caught in a bad relationship is not a stranger, but a relative who is closely related to you, then you will probably not be easily persuaded.

Because you can see the complexity and limitations of her environment in this person.

You will not easily label her "silly" or "stupid", because you know that she is all of her better than anyone.Understanding this does not mean that we are going to support those girls who fall into bad relationships and continue to be trapped.

It may be willing to give them a little more understanding and tolerance, and find a way that can really help them.

At the end of that book, after Irene, after several twists and turns, they eventually had the people they loved each other.

This process is inseparable from her friends around her constantly telling her that you deserve a better relationship.

I think, the same is true for those we really care about.

It is better to let a person leave a bad relationship, not a simple and rude persuasion,

She is willing to give her a courage to believe in her better.

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