"People's Daily" recommendation: 9 methods reduce social troubles (recommended permanent collection)

Psychologist Adler said that human troubles are derived from interpersonal relationships.

Indeed, a bad society will affect your life, consume your energy, and even make you doubt yourself.

Walking in the world, we always have to deal with people with all kinds of people.

The happiness of life is inseparable from a good social state.

If you also have a lot of troubles in interpersonal communication, you don't understand how to socialize more freely, you don't know how to be more pleasant, you don't know how to deal with intimate relationships ...

May wish to look at the 9 methods recommended by the People's Daily, which can help you reduce the internal consumption and pain caused by interpersonal relationships, and harvest a happier social experience.

Drop a invalid business

As the saying goes, low -quality society is not as high as high -quality alone.

If a person blindly addicted to the excitement, he will only consume himself.

I saw a self -media blogger on the Internet to share their experiences.

When she was just working, although her salary was not high, she was particularly keen on the weekend to participate in various bureaus.

In her opinion, only in the circle of friends in the circle of friends, can she seem to be very popular.

Over time, consumption because of the gathering has made himself a "Moonlight", and it has also derived a lot of anxiety and troubles.

Until one day she urgently needed help, she couldn't even find someone who could ask for help in her friends list.

At that moment, she understood that she was wasteful and time to maintain her friendship.

Everyone's energy is limited. The more socially spending time, the less time to improve themselves.

Slowly, it will only become empty, anxious, and even lose yourself.

Life is short, and we must learn to streamline the circle of friends and stay away from the invalid social interaction that consumes themselves.

Spend more time on your own, you will harvest a continuous progress and better and better self.

Time to spend more time on your family, you will have a happy family.

Time to spend more time on confidantes, you will have a solid and stable friendship.

Friends are not as many, but in fine, confidante friends, three or two are enough.

To streamline interpersonal communication can make your life more "exquisite".

Put down for granted

No matter how good the relationship is, it will die in "for granted."

No matter how good friends, don't ignore each other's dedication and help.

The attitude that is taken for granted will only make you lose a person who is willing to help you, a friend who really treats you sincerely.

The feelings between people are settled in you and me, and the other party is good to you because of cherishing the feelings between each other.

Thousands of money are easy to get, and confidantes are difficult to find.

Blind consumption of friendship is destined to only let each other away.

The people's hearts are relative, and the truth is true; feelings are mutually mutual and warm heart.

Please be kind to those who are good to you.

Such a person is willing to pull you when you are in a trough; when you are wishful, they really wish you.

People live for a lifetime, and there are few people who really treat you.

Don't get the person who is willing to be nice to you because of his own granted.

Put down the stereotype

In "The Romance of the Three Kingdoms", Pang Tong went to see Sun Quan.

Later, Pang Tong went to meet Liu Bei.

Both Sun Quan and Liu Bei think that ugly people will not have any talents.

This is a typical stereotype.

The stereotype will allow us to label people with usual thinking in interpersonal relationships.

Sociologists believe: "stereotypes determine whether a person can have a good popularity in social interaction."

The first step of having a good social is to break the stereotypes, face others with an open -minded attitude, and observe a person in an all -round and multi -angle.

At first, people who are enthusiastic about you may not be true to you, but to see the interests behind you;

Those who feel indifferent to each other may not get along with each other, but because they are cold and hot, they will see the sincerity for a long time.

Putting down the stereotype and not easily labeling to others can give you "good popularity".

Put down too much

In life, they often encounter such a class of people. They are paying close attention to other people's faults and preparing to "turn old accounts" at any time.

Professor Zeng Shiqiang once said: "It is too painful, and it is most worthwhile to see."

Tips that are unwilling in life often occur.

These things are not terrible. The terrible thing is that in the future, I have been worried and unwilling to let go.

Friends are late for dating. The partner forgets the festival because of his busy work. Parents occasionally do not understand.

These episodes and small frictions are often more like condiments of life.

Let the small things pass, big happiness is not absent.

Life is very fast. If you are filled with these unpleasant trivial matters in your heart, the space will be carried out of happy time.

From today, learning can not be scheduled, and letting others let go of themselves.

Let go of jealousy and comparison

Do you know that in interpersonal communication, what is the easiest to mess up?

That is jealousy and comparison.

Because of jealousy, it is easy to lose yourself.

Because of comparison, breeding more anxiety.

Some psychological research shows that a person who cannot see others is often more difficult to get happiness.

Imagine, are you willing to make friends with someone who doesn't want to be good?

The answer is self -evident.

Rather than envy others, it is better to focus on yourself; instead of being painful because of blindly comparing, it is better to look long and enhance yourself. Learn the advantages in excellent people and correct them.

Let go of the jealousy to look at each relationship to grow.

Let go of sensitive inferiority

There is a "spotlight effect" in psychology.

What we talk about is that we will enlarge our problems infinitely, and then we will be worried about our mistakes and shortcomings.

In life, those who are easy to be anxious are often very sensitive. They always think too much in everything. They can't let go of the past, and they are tangled with the present, and they often fall into internal consumption.

Their emotions often change due to other people's words and deeds:

If others show a little better, they want to make everywhere in return; others show a little dislike, and start to doubt themselves ...

Gradually, I do n’t want to socialize, and even fear of getting along with others.

Japanese writer Watanabe Kano proposed a word: blunt force.

In simple terms, it is a bit bigger and let go of yourself.

In love with others too much, it is actually punishment for yourself.

Learn to face your own value, reduce self -doubts, and get rid of inferiority, and you can have a generous relationship with others.

Only in this way can we be relaxed in interpersonal communication.

Put down high expectations

In a relationship, the existence of "expectation" is good or bad.

It can make a life of a dead water full of hope, and it can also make two people who were originally sweet and happy to quarrel.

In fact, goodness and badness are all one degree.

High expectations are the beginning of destroying all intimate relationships.

When partners, family members, children, do not reach the "high standards" in their hearts, and bad emotions such as complaints, blame, and angry will rush to their hearts and make the communication overwhelmed.

There is a sentence in "Lost in the World": "If there is no excessive joy, there will be no extreme sadness."

In fact, the secret to getting along with people is to keep your mind.

People in life are normal, and they can continue to satisfy expectations.

Let go of the grievances

I have seen a small story.

The Zen Master asked the apprentice to write all the scriptures.

Seeing so many scriptures, the apprentices have been complaining behind the master, hoping that the master can take back the task.

At the end of the day, the indifferent Zen master told his apprentice:

"If you spend the time when you sigh on this day, you can write the scriptures in front of the case. Maybe you have already finished a volume, but now you still have nothing to do."

The life of an adult is not easy to say.

In the face of unsatisfactory, instead of complaining, it is better to accept it, and then work hard to change.

Teacher Luo Xiang once said: "The complaint is not only a cowardice, but also an immature manifestation."

Indeed, the weak complains, the strong is not talking, and the wise will change.

No one wants to stay with people who complain all day.

Complaints will not only drag yourself, but also transmit negative emotions to others.

Life is short, complaining is not beneficial.

Everything is not complained to the sky, learn to change your mind, use the province to replace the responsibility, and use your efforts to replace complaints, and life can be better.

Display too much dependence

Is there such a person around you?

I feel that the sense of security comes from the news of the partner second; when you need to make a decision, you always want to rely on the suggestions of others; when you encounter difficulties and obstacles in your life, the first reaction is not to solve it by yourself but help others ...

Can't stand alone, whether in life or at work, dare not do things alone, always pulling others to feel at ease.

Writer Liu Tong once said: "Don't pin his hope on others. Whether it is emotional or working, the only result is caught off guard."

Rather than seeking dependence on the outside world, it is better to seek your own strength.

In this journey in life, many people can only accompany you for a while.

To quit excessively dependence, be able to take one side alone and improve yourself, in order to not be afraid of losing the confidence.

When you are strong enough, why is the wind, frost, rain and snow on the long journey?

At the end

"The gentleman enters the same way, and you will be friends."

To improve yourself internally is a kind of cultivation;

Learning to get along with people is a kind of wisdom.

In the world of adults, it is nothing more than to pay attention to it, freedom, and pleasant.

In the second half of your life, I hope you can get along with yourself without internal consumption, intersect with others, and live comfortably.

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