"On the night of the decision to divorce, I sent a circle of friends and received 25 unsoliced calls."

"After handing the money to my mother, my wife wants to divorce me, what should I do?"

Recently, a husband posted a help post, which caused a lot of attention and discussion.

Probably summarize the confusion of this male lead.

Both the male and his wife are good at governing money, so the salary card has always been placed with his mother, and the mother gives them living expenses.

Of course, his mother is not that kind of mother -in -law. On the contrary, she often comes to their house to cook and clean up the young couple.

The male lead himself is accustomed to discuss with his mother.

But I did not expect that her mother was so hard, and her wife was not satisfied, and she kept muttering to divorce.

The male lead thinks that these are the excuses of his wife, that is, he suspects that he has made less money than before.

But he couldn't understand that every time his mother gave them the same living expenses and did not decrease.

And these things have not started recently, they have been married for 4 years, and they have been so after marriage.

Therefore, he asked netizens for help, hoping to have a way to let his wife dispel the idea of ​​divorce.

But I did not expect that this post turned over.

Netizens spit out:

No wonder everyone is so angry.

On the surface, it is a contradiction between mother -in -law and daughter -in -law. In fact, the male lead is the biggest killer in this marriage.

Marriage pays attention to the material foundation, and "fiscal power" is the happiness of a family.

Between husband and wife, whoever has the power of fiscal power has more right to speak.

No one is willing to spend his husband's money and reach out to your mother -in -law.

I have never agreed with the words "since ancient times and daughter -in -law are natural enemies".

The relationship between mother -in -law and daughter -in -law was originally a by -product of marriage. The mother -in -law only has a interesting relationship and has no direct relationship.

In this triangle, the husband is both a connectionr and a founder of the problem.

The family relationship is good or not, the husband's treatment is the most critical part.

But unfortunately, many men are not good at handling contradictions between mother -in -law and daughter -in -law, but do not want to deal with it.

In the TV series "Come on! In Mother's ", He Xiaohan played by Dong Jie was exhausted.

Mother -in -law intervened strongly at home and small things:

Looking back on the daughter -in -law of the low education, buy her Olympic Book to improve her;

Take the key to open the door into their bedrooms in the middle of the night, asking for a concerted watch during ovulation.

Picture source: TV series "Come on! Mother"

And He Xiaohan's husband, every time he pretended to be unable to see, he heard, and default his mother's approach.

In his heart, his mother is the best mother in the world. It is not easy to pull their sisters and brothers alone, and they have paid a lot.

Therefore, he was reluctant to face up to his mother's problem and let his mother make his wife in every way.

Finally, her daughter suffered from gender cognitive disorder, and marriage was on the verge of crushing.

Picture source: TV series "Come on! Mother"

There is a word in psychology called "broad adaptability".

It is said that people have a sense of gene mission to take care of themselves and people who are connected to their own blood.

Once people have selfishness, they are easy to lose sense.

Therefore, for some men, even if the wife is the one she loves, it is the most important thing to protect the mother with genetic relations.

Therefore, not only did they not want to deal with the contradictions of her mother -in -law and mother -in -law from the heart, they even pretended to be confused and evaded.

May I ask, which woman will be desperate when she meets such a husband?

How many people are full of longing and think that they can grow old with their hands.

But in the end, no matter how much effort was given, it was always an outsider. Who treats her as a family?

A reader once left me a message saying that her relationship with her mother -in -law was very poor.

She has been married to her husband for 3 years, but her husband has been the habit of before marriage, and the concept of new families is very weak.

Many things in the family had already reached an agreement with her husband, but as long as the mother -in -law was looking for her husband, her husband immediately biased towards her mother -in -law.

Not to mention the trivial matters with his in -laws, as long as he involves his parents, the husband stands forever.

"My mother is not easy, just tolerate you.

"She is my mother, and it is impossible to hurt us."

Slowly, there were many problems with their marriage and have not been resolved.

Everyone only knows that she is sensible, but who knows how much grievances have been swallowed and how much tears.

The night when she decided to divorce, she sent a circle of friends:

"If you can, hope not to be a woman in your next life."

As a result, her husband was shameful after seeing it outside. She called her 25 phone calls in a row and bombed WeChat.

Speaking of her small questions, destroying the atmosphere of the family, saying that she was not considerate of the elderly, filial piety, and sensible.

The most frustrated moment of a woman is probably so.

In the eyes of many people, "Ma Bao Nan" is filial piety.

However, filial piety is not a filial piety, it is to care for parents and respect parents, not to obey and maintain their parents.

Tu Lei said very well:

"Many men will tell my wife, saying," It's not easy for my mother to support me, and be good for my mother '.

"However, it is not easy for your mother to, that is caused by your dad, that is the responsibility of your dad, but what about your daughter -in -law? Your daughter -in -law is not easy to cause you. Except for you, she is lonely."

Many times we say that the relationship between mother -in -law and daughter -in -law is the biggest blockbuster in marriage.

But in fact, the husband's unclear and mud as the middleman is the biggest weapon to destroy marriage.

In front of their parents, they are still in a state of being protected and dependent, and lack their own independent personality. Obiefing his parents in principle is actually indulging in his parents' oppression of his wife.

Even for them, the purpose of marriage is to find a "new mother" that can take care of themselves.

However, only the parents are their own relatives, can the wife only be sacrificed and abducted?

Psychologist Wu Zhihong said a word:

"If the relationship between husband and wife is the core of the family and has the right to speak, then this family will be as stable as a rock."

What do women want?

It is for someone to discuss and boring someone to speak. Life is too long, there must be a person who knows each other.

Instead of helping no one when you need to support, no one is comforted when he is wronged, and a person is isolated and helpless.

For any woman, the most fair marriage should be:

I quit my house, and you should also exit your house. We have formed a new family instead of my exit from my house to integrate into your home.

But we have to admit that marrying people sometimes need luck.

Good luck, they met a man of independent and independent, and the two reached the consensus of the border together.

What should I do if I am lucky and encounter a cowardly Mumbao?

The answer to most TV series is to completely resist.

Just like He Xiaohan, played by Dong Jie in the TV series, finally stopped swallowing after the second abortion.

Because of her struggle, her husband finally faced the family problem and stopped blindly, and the two faced them together.

However, life is not a TV series. Most of the mom Baonan will continue to be Mom Baoan. Most women will think about tolerance.

But I still have a few words, I want to tell all women:

Never think that your forbearance can be exchanged for the guilt and gratitude of the other party.

On the contrary, your concessions and tolerance are likely to make your husband feel that everything is taken for granted.

It is a common responsibility to keep the boundary of your little family. It is either to draw the line or he to draw the line.

In life, there are unknown mother -in -law and mother -in -law who like to discipline.

But at least most parents still hope that their son and daughter -in -law can live well.

If unfortunately, neither my mother -in -law and husband do not think I have a problem, then I have only one suggestion--

Give Mom Baonan to his mother.

After all, I want to be a treasure, who is a mother?

Author: Xiao Yan. This article is authorized to reprint from WeChat public account: ten o'clock reading (ID: duhaoshu), and a large number of national reading subscribed by 30 million people. Reprinted, please contact ten o'clock. The picture of the labeled source of this article is from the Internet. If there is any infringement, please contact it.

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