Five years later, "stealing" the child's unmarried mother got the right to custody

"I realize that a case will not only affect the two parties, but also affect the confidence of a group. With this confidence, the talents in the future dare to fight."

Text ｜ Lin Qiuming

Edit ｜ Golden

In 2019, Wei Yuanyuan, an unmarried mother, described a war -winning war she had experienced on the Internet: In order to get the custody of the only half -year -old son, she filed a lawsuit with her child's biological father, Cui Wen, but defeated in the first trial. Cui Wen -this is a case that is similar to the custody of children under the age of 2, and a few cases that have not been sentenced to mothers.

Earlier, because the children who could not visit the fracture freely before the verdict, Wei Yuanyuan and his colleagues "stole" the children from the playground and hid in her own home. Normal means changed the child's living environment without authorization, and caused heated discussion at that autumn.

The unmarried mother stole her, and the labels hit Wei Yuanyuan -abusive person, saying that in order to change the "unmarried child" and support her, she praised her as a "hard -core mother" who snatched the child. Most of them were women or have already As a mother, I look forward to Wei Yuanyuan's battle to turn around and recognize her as a typical and symbol.

In September 2019, this war seems to be proclaimed by Wei Yuanyuan's "failure". It lasted more than 480 days of custody rights and obtained mediation before the second instance: raising in stages in stages, that is, before 3 years old, the child was raised by his mother; 3 years old; By the age of 5, the two sides were raised in the quarter; 5 to 18 years old, the child was raised by the man. The characters have also reported in 2019 that the case "" Stealing "the children's unmarried mother".

But the turning point occurred at the end of the summer of 2020.

During the night, during the custody of Wei Yuanyuan, children under 3 years old were forcibly taken into the car by his father Cui Wen, blocked by Wei Yuanyuan's mother and surrounding neighbors. The role has taken place.

The summer night storm prompted Wei Yuanyuan to decide to immediately sue to change the child's custody. After two years of lawsuits, the lawsuit was repeatedly seen. On August 17 this year, Wei Yuanyuan finally received a judgment sent by the court. The judgment child would raise her to 18 years old. During this period, her father Cui Wen paid 4,600 yuan per month.

This also means that after nearly 5 years of pulling, Wei Yuanyuan finally completely won the child's custody. This is not only a war of unmarried mothers, but also a social practice of how the judicial system views the value of women's fertility.

In August 2022, "Character" and Wei Yuanyuan met again. Her living room had changed to a book wall, densely placed the child's books and puzzle toys. There was no personal position in the family. The child became her. All. Compared with three years ago, Wei Yuanyuan showed more sedation and calmness. She has adapted to the rhythm of fighting at all times, and encountered problems and solved problems. This is her logic of life today.

Wei Yuanyuan's living room has changed to a book wall

How much does an unmarried mother, in order to defend her child? For Wei Yuan, she almost stripped herself and exchanged every inch of life into a chip that could take effect in court. She took a certificate, studied courses, devoted all the time and income to the process of educating children, and displayed the evidence in front of the public and judges, which proved that a single mother was enough to raise children to grow up.

In the past five years, Wei Yuanyuan also came into contact with hundreds of mothers and saw their different situations. She found that compared to women who have received good education and high income, women with lower cultural levels are facing more difficult situations. Economic income makes them at a disadvantage in the case of custody. Channels, families often cannot provide support for children's support. Some mothers can only bring their children to their side at the cost of giving up the support fee.

Only women who have similar experiences know that the specific weight of a custody case. A judgment can strongly evoke the confidence of a group of mothers, and may also cause mothers to instantly hesitant and keep removal. Wei Yuanyuan's story belongs to the former. In her opinion, behind any case that successfully got the child custody was the mutual support of countless mothers, and they gave each other courage to move forward.

The following is compiled by Wei Yuanyuan's narrative.

1

In the summer of 2020, I always feel that someone is following me. I even moved home for this, and I was still in the original community, but I changed a house.

One day I went home and went to the same elevator alone with me. He looked like he was born. After entering the elevator, he pressed the top floor and glanced at me. That's a look that made me alert me. I know that if one person wants to know that another person lives in several floors, he will press the top floor directly, but I don't have a button because I happen to live on the top floor.

When he got out of the elevator, he went out first, looked back at me again, and went to the door on the right. But after he went in, he didn't knock on the door or open the door, just standing there. I also came to the door of my home, opened the door and closed, and simulated the sound of the opening and closing door. Staring at him, then he rushed into the corridor.

I knew it was broken, and I was followed.

I can also guess who the person who follows me. Yangyang was not yet 3 years old. I followed me for the time being. The first two times his father Cui Wen came to visit. I cooperated with it, but in the end, I was not very happy. During the 11th period of 2019, I received a notice from the Internet court. Cui Wen sued me to violate his reputation right. The mediation of custody rights has made me very hot. I didn't let him see the child, and he didn't know where I lived. Obviously, the other party also hit. I told me that my mother must not bring Yangyang out of the community during this time, but one night, Yangyang always went out to play, and my mother took him out. Later, I saw the surveillance that around 9 o'clock in the evening, Cui Wen's car stopped not far from my mother and Yangyang, watching there.

The people around me slowly became less. For a moment, Yang Yang ran towards the direction of my mother's back, and Cui Wen came over to hold Yang Yang and rushed into the car. When my mother saw Yang Yang from her sight, she immediately caught up and rushed to the car and shouted someone to grab the child. The surrounding neighbors and the small shop owners selling tobacco and alcohol rushed up, and 20 or thirty people surrounded the car. Several courier brothers drove yellow motorcycles and stopped directly in front of the car. Yang Yang struggled in their arms, and his face swollen and flushed. He shouted me down and let me down. This scene scared him. He and Cui Wen hadn't seen him for nearly a year, and did not know the people from his father's house.

At that time, I was in the company. After receiving the phone, I collapsed at the time, my limbs were paralyzed, and I heard the messy sound on the side of the phone. I thought it was over. The child must be in the hands of others and was snatched away.

When he was there, the police surrounded us. Cui Wen's family held the first trial judgment, and the judgment wrote that the child was given to him. We did not have any precautions and did not take the mediation of the second trial, but because the child was crying, he finally returned to my mother's arms.

At the end of August, Yangyang was only more than 3 years old. The custody right was exactly in my hands, so they grabbed it. I did not intend to change custody so early. I wanted to change the change at the age of 5 and grasp it. However, when I saw him grabbing the child like this, I decided to sue immediately.

For this lawsuit, I have browsed thousands of cases of changing children's custody. I found that before the age of 8, children had no willingness to be autonomous. This situation was difficult to change custody. I only found five or six successful cases. I think that if you can't win, you have to fight. Drag your time first to ensure that the child can live steadily in me in the lawsuit, and to ensure that he no longer experiences this situation.

The change was made of twists and turns, and Lawyer Zhang Jing first proposed social care (①), because in the successful case, the report of social care is based on the point of entry and changed the custody right before the age of 8. Then we let psychologists involve and use sand table games to simulate the psychological state of the child, so as to know who he wants to live with and who is more secure.

Cui Wen proposed the mediation plan, and the custody right was attributed to him. The child actually raised it by me, and also attached many harsh conditions for me, such as the things that could not talk about custody online. I said I do n’t sign it, and the custody right is not for me. These commitments have no guarantee. These conditions are too insulted, what I express, that is my freedom of speech.

In September 2020, I prosecuted and was responsible for the lawsuit. After the first trial, she said something to Cui Wen. She said that the child was first in the mother's stomach. After ten months together, there was a different connection with the mother. The feeling was natural. After the father was waiting for the child to give birth, there was some emotional feelings. Essence You think about the plaintiff, she became an unmarried mother, this child was all her, you snatched him, how did she live? She immediately told me that you should treat this matter as an experience and learning.

After she said this, I cried in court. I was facing a male judge before. For the first time, I saw a female judge standing on the position of mother and women. She has raised her child, and she is also a mother. She can understand the emotions between the child and the mother.

Interviewees of Wei Yuanyuan and Yangyang Tuyuan

2

In the past three years of changing custody, I have no personal life, that is, work, lawsuits, and Yangyang -work and lawsuits are also to raise Yangyang.

Yangyang's current kindergarten, if the tuition fee is paid monthly, the price is 6,000 yuan a month. If you pay three years at one time, the average will only be 3680 yuan per month. I choose to pay for three years. My salary and various income add up to pay for rent, living expenses, and Yangyang education. In the end, there is no money. The economic situation is indeed relatively tight, but for children, I never invest. In the past two years, I bought books and puzzle toys for Yangyang. Even if I did n’t buy anything next, the previous inventory was enough for several years. Too much difference.

For a long time, the person who questioned me would say that I was an unmarried mother. I had no Beijing hukou, no real estate, and made a little money. How can I educate children? It is better to put him in the father's house with better conditions. Some people say that I want this child to ask for money. After I grabbing the child's custody, I will definitely throw the child back to my hometown.

I just want to fight for a breath to see if I can educate my children well and use a long life to prove this.

But I also feel that I am trapped in the role of my mother, myself, it seems to have disappeared. After many people became mothers, they began to doubt who it was, and so did I do. I have n’t watched a TV series or movies for a long time, and they are watching cartoons or documentary with Yangyang. Because of the lawsuit, I was limited to high consumption. Two days ago, I was on a business trip. I told my boss excitedly that I had never taken the plane for three years. Before I knew my situation, I took care of me, and tried to prevent me on a business trip. Only once, I went to Hengdian to talk about the project. I was lying on the green car and I could only sit in Hangzhou and take a taxi to Hengdian. A year ago, I would also apply the foundation. Now I go out after wiping the sun. I do n’t care about what others think of my appearance. I want to have this money and time. Why not spend other things. Once I am idle, I go to verify that most of the certificates I have taken are related to education. I think that when considering the custody rights, the judge may be more favorable to me.

I took 6 certificates in one year, psychological counselor, family education instructor, parent -child education planner, picture book reading instructor. In addition, I also tested the storage and all media operators. Pediatric massage. I am always mixed with some small programs and WeChat groups for children's education. The group friends will recommend each other, knowing that those full -time mothers have increased the possibility of doing the side business by taking these certificates.

For a long time, I have been pessimistic that the child will eventually be sentenced to Cui Wen. I made all the preparations that I would lose this lawsuit and dare not think about winning this matter. I am so scared. What if I lose? I told my colleagues that if I lost this lawsuit, I would definitely appeal. I would like to strive for half a year so that Yangyang could stay with me. I count about how much money is there, and I also contacted colleagues from Hebei around Beijing and asked the house prices near their house. I hope to help me rent a house through them. place.

After finishing these, I was exhausted, but I couldn't stop, I had to support it. The string in my mind was stretched. I was going to lose. I want to lose. What do I want to do? Can fight. At the same time, I have to take care of Yangyang to ensure that he is not affected.

In this home, my mother is a very important role. When I go to work, she will bear other labor. In a family of a single mother, this problem will be more severe. She lived in Inner Mongolia before, and came to Beijing because she took care of Yangyang. This also made her feel that she had no life, especially she was a person who loved to play mahjong and dancing square dance.

She helped me to take a lot, but I was always preparing to do one day she would not do it -I had Plan B. I have a plan to make self -media, and strive to become a parenting blogger before going to elementary school in Yangyang. After doing it, I can take him myself. I can not only educate him, but also develop education into one of my own cause.

Once I had a dinner with Lawyer Zhang Jing. She said that round. In the past few years, we have never called me, saying how hard or complaining about the child's father, we will always be discussing what to do next, how to do, how to do, how to do, how to do, how to do, how to do, how to do, how to do it, how to do it, how to do it, how to do it, how to do it, how to do it, how to do it, how to do it, how to do it. In order to win this lawsuit. I thought about it, it seemed like this, I had no emotional time. Over the years, I try to quit the sensitive part of my heart and the soft part. Only when I get off work. When I take a taxi home, I will listen to some songs, cry on the road, and cry after crying.

I used to be a very strong person, and I was unreasonable, but in fact, the inside was very fragile, and it was strong and strong. I do n’t know how to do it, after being a mother, after experiencing this case, I clearly felt that many of my emotions had changed. In the company, my colleagues felt that I was a very good -speaking and soft person. I was not very arguing and not very grabbing, but I knew that I had become very hard in my heart. After so many years of lawsuits, I woke up every day, and I was here. I had to solve it. It was useless to sit there to cry there.

This kind of hard support me to continue playing. Until mid -August this year, the judge assistant called me to inform me that we made an online conversation. I was very alert, why should I talk now, is it to make a judgment? He said, oops, let's talk about it. I said I might be on a business trip. Can my lawyer appear in court? He said.

The judge called me every day. She said that I heard that you are going to travel, and this court will not open. The phone will notify you. These two days will send you the judgment to you. I asked her, what was the result of the judgment? She said you see it yourself. I panicked when I put down the phone. Lawyer Zhang Jing and I told these details. They were very nervous and didn't know the results.

On August 17, I woke up at 8 o'clock, and waited until about ten o'clock, glanced at my phone, and saw that Lawyer Zhang Jing in the group was saying congratulations. I immediately clicked in and saw the judgment. I didn't read the judgment carefully. I just noticed that she said that we won. In an instant, I jumped from the bed and rushed into the kitchen to tell my mother, "Mom, we won!

The two of us cried like this and cried for a while. My mother kept shouting, we are too difficult, too difficult, it is really too difficult these years.

After this day, I was dazed at the station. I felt very unreal. I was in a very unrealistic collapse. It felt like a balloon that had been supported for too long, and finally relaxed. When I went home in the evening, I told Yangyang that I "fight" with his father, and Yang Yang cheered at home. He didn't quite understand what "fighting" refers to what he said. He only knew that we were fighting for him. When his mother won, he didn't need to move anymore and changed kindergartens. The last judgment book source respondent

3

In the past, my mother was afraid that others knew that her daughter was an unmarried mother. Later, she was affected by me, and she slowly stopped avoiding taboos. I also feel that the tolerance of unmarried mothers throughout the society is increasing. The process of finding schools and procedures for Yangyang has not been hindered because of the identity of an unmarried mother, and everything is smooth.

Earlier, unmarried mothers had to pay social support for their children's hukou. The year I gave birth to Yangyang just happened to catch up with the transition period of the policy. I didn't ask me to pay for the fees (②), but I couldn't get the maternity allowance issued by the company. Recently, I heard that unmarried mothers can receive fertility allowances (③), and I plan to apply for it. But I think that this change may be a derivative that encourages fertility in the environment. It is not how much discounts and convenience for unmarried mothers will be given, but we are treated fairly. Fertility allowances should have been linked to fertility. Why is it linked to marriage?

In recent years, some moms have been asking for help with me through Weibo. Some mothers find me, and some are the same as me. There are more than 230 people in our group. These mothers have encountered various problems, such as getting custody, but unable to execute, and some in the lawsuit, the child has been snatched.

The most incredible case was a mother in Fujian. She was originally preparing to get married. The man gave Cai Li. She gave birth to her child, and she had no information on her dad. The child was with her surname. The hukou was there, and she had been taking it around. In this case, the child was sentenced to his father.

The reason for writing is that the man has a house in Xiamen and a parent to help. However, the woman also has a house. She is a micro -quotient, and her income is not low. She is also a parent to help. The child has been around her. Why should she be sentenced to the man? She lost again in the second trial. After the High Court was returned to retrial, the two decided to mediate. The mother did not want to raise the fees, and gave the other party to visit the right, and the court mediated her to her.

There is also a mother who did not get married and did not get a certificate. After giving birth to a child, it may be that the two people have a bad relationship. She lives in her mother's house and has always allowed the man to visit the child. Each time the other party was received, he returned. Until the child's birthday, the man picked up the child and never sent it back.

The mother took a group of people to talk, and the other party said that the reason why they picked up the child was to let the woman live in their city. She sent me a private letter for help. I said that you brought the child back, and she refused to start at the beginning. Later, she finally gathered courage and took the child out. The other party asked her to make a noise, and she rented a house to hide. The lawsuit was fighting. After half a year, the man let go and mediation to her custody.

In fact, as long as the children are not around, and the men's hard bar, most of them will choose to let go. Compared with women, their emotions and marriages are more prone to new changes, and emotions are more likely to transfer.

Everyone feels that money is not a problem, but in fact, money is a very important threshold. Unmarried mothers with higher income, they will have a stronger willingness to fight for custody. A mother with a monthly income of about 6,000 yuan in our group is hesitant to face the right to custody. She also has a younger brother, and her brother will get married and buy a house in the future. She cannot get more support from the family. Even if there is a raising fee, it is a lot of money. Regardless of unmarried or married, compared to the real spending, the maintenance fee obtained is very small. Some judgments even require only 500 yuan per month for support.

I met a girl in the group. The child was 6 years old and she was only 25 years old. When the child was born, she was not too old to get the certificate. Later, she had a trouble with the man, and the child gave the man. Until now, she couldn't see her child. She has no choice but to change the right to custody, because she can't afford it. She had no culture, worked zero outside, and she didn't really get along with her children. The child had no feelings with her. She can only fight for the right to visit, but it is more difficult to explore the right to visit. It is easy to judge, that is, it cannot be implemented.

Some people come to help me, and I don't know how to help. I said that you can try to write the experience, send it on Weibo, and let everyone forward it. But I also know that some cases have not been able to grasp the eyeballs, and it is difficult to win a lot of attention. When one or two cases appeared at the beginning, the public would feel so fresh. Why is there such a thing? Why can't my mother see the child? Later, everyone turned around, and slowly understood that there were too many things, it was difficult to solve it, and in the end they were numb. The case became a war of children's mother alone, and finally relying on the parties to play their energy. The lawsuit is a process of energy contest.

Most of them, if they did not get legal support, are not easy to persist, and they are easily repelled by those difficulties and sounds. A mother said to me, what parents said, what relatives said, and what the judge said. I said, what you say, you want to convince them, you can't be persuaded by them, this is your child. If the child is around, the mother's state will be different. It is nothing more than trying to make money and how to solve the lawsuit. However To children. There is a mother in the group. She has never seen the child for two or three years. The child is in the hands of her ex -husband. She now feels that she has no motivation to make money. She lay down every day and has nothing to do. In the store, she can bear to see her parents buy shoes for children. Don't cry.

After such a long lawsuit, after seeing various cases, my cognition was changing again and again.

The law stipulates that children under the age of two are raised by the mother in principle, and only special situations can be given to their father. However, I saw two cases that children still sentenced their dads under the age of two this year. They did not change the judgment until the second instance. Moms paid a large price for the judgment, and they all gave up the support fee. Some custody cases are judged, and everyone will find that the reason why the judge wrote does not seem to have any problems. Whoever raises has an advantage. It is impossible to completely crushed the other party.

I also saw other cases before I decided to accept the mediation that year. In my opinion, some people's business is bigger than me, and the plot is more serious, but after losing the first instance, they still did not recover this game in the second trial. I was desperate at the time, and I felt that my second trial must not win, so I didn't continue to fight.

I realize that a case will not only affect both parties, but also affect the confidence of a group. With this confidence, the talents in the back dare to fight.

This time I can successfully change custody, and all times, place, people, and people have all. The female judge is also one of the key factors for this case to win the case. She combines various pressures and has emotional resonance to promote and persuade the trial committee to finally judge the child to me.

Wei Yuanyuan takes a picture

4

After seeing those cases, I often think about what the marriage can bring. I will not consider getting married in the future, I don't trust this matter. Every day in front of my eyes is a question related to survival: how do I dominate my income, the child wants to go to school, report to the class, I want to pay the rent, will I be layoffs in the middle age ... The child depends on me everything. It is difficult to ignite my hormones.

Of course, I hope that someone will resist the risks with me, but I will doubt, why should the other party ask me and fight with me to resist the risk? In the past two or three years, I have encountered such a kind of tempted person, but the rationality quickly pulled me back. I can only make myself stronger.

Looking back, this storm is not necessarily a bad thing. Some people will say that I am an unmarried mother and I have no marriage. I have been destroyed in my life, but maybe because of this experience, I have completely got rid of my dependence on marriage and focused on focusing on my marriage. Developing yourself, from a long -term perspective, is difficult to say that it is a disaster or a blessing.

When I was two years old, my parents were married. My mother went to another city. My dad finished my custody and threw me in my grandparents' house. At that time, I was very eager to see my parents, and often stood on the window sill of my grandparents' house, looking at a tower. There is also a tower next to my mother's house. Looking at the tower, I feel that my mother is near this. I lie on that window sill every day and wait for my mother, but I can't wait. I have always felt that my mother doesn't want me anymore.

In the fifth grade of elementary school, my dad felt that the education environment in his grandparents was not good, and I took me back to his city. I went to my dad's house and saw my brother lived by my parents around. When I followed my grandparents, I felt expensive to buy a peach, and chocolate had never eaten.

Teacher Wu Zhihong said that people can enter the psychological depth restoration only when they are in love, and will restore your most fundamental relationship with your parents. My parents' desire for my parents will never be available after that age, and I can only find love in other forms, so after adulthood, I have strong emotional needs in love.

Cui Wen is not nothing, he is a very careful and considerate person. We were like that, but when I asked him to visit the child, Yangyang sent him a WeChat and said, I would miss you, he knew that I hadn't eaten yet, and would ask the child by the way, you will accompany your mother for a meal first. He made you feel that he was taken care of, which was something I was missing at the time.

Before these things, I rely on the psychology. I think the house should be bought by men, and I can help repay the mortgage together. I don't have to make so much money, just have a income. I need stable emotions and stable families. Husband, child, in -laws, these can be my loved ones. Later, I found that this is not the case. The structure of marriage itself is unstable. Whether it can support and guarantee you in life depends entirely on the quality of the other party and the other family.

After many people became parents, they started to understand my parents. I happened to be the opposite. After my parents, I don't understand why my mother didn't fight for my custody and gave me to my dad. I later asked my mother. She said that I had seven children. Of course, she gave her grandson priority. If she wanted me, who would help her bring the child?

I hesitated when I was fighting for Yangyang's custody. I have thought that if I bring him, my life will have difficulties, but when I think of giving up him, I can't stand it. I think I am abandoning him and it feels like I was abandoned by my parents. So I can't let go. He is watching animated movies now, such as "Pig Page" and "Bruy", the protagonists have parents. Before, he seemed to have no family concept, and recently began to doubt. One day, I showed him the video I was interviewed in the past, because I didn't want to tell him that his parents told his parents to separate this matter. I hope he has known from an early age that we are such families. Only mothers and children are fine.

He chatted with a foreign teacher, and how many people were in the family? He said I have Three Family (I have three people in my family). Foreign teachers say, DAD, Mommy and You (Dad, Mom and You)? He started to say yes at first, but later felt wrong. He slammed his little buttocks and said, no no no no dad (my family has no dad), and then said, Mommy, Grandma and Me (mother, 姥, and me).

Interviewee

5

It is difficult for me to say what the specific connection between my mother and the child is. I am only sure that Yangyang gave me very plenty of love. Sometimes I am very anxious and feel so annoying. The case and work are too much. I don't know how to solve it. When I came back at night, Yangyang was asleep. I lay there and touched his little ass, and I would get the same feeling of charging. The outside world's consumption of all of my consumption was supplemented in him.

As long as he comes back before eleven, he will wait for me. When I came back later, he would always ask my mother, where did my mother go. The longest separation and I have no more than a week. He depends on me, and I also depend on him.

The two of us had a conflict. In the end, he came over and hugged me. He said that my mother was wrong. I said that my mother did not do it right just now. The temper was too anxious. Let ’s reconcile and hold it. Sometimes he said, mother, you can hit my ass, but you don't want to be angry. He thinks it doesn't matter if I hit him, but if I ignore him, he feels terrible.

When I was a kid, I was completely scattered. The study was done independently. The teacher asked the listening to the text. My mother told me that she had to find a way. She wanted to play mahjong. Everything I do for Yangyang now has a little bit of compensation for my psychology. I want to be a particularly good mother. I can give up all my life, emotions and entertainment to meet his needs. I even think that I haven't given enough. I have to work, unlike many full -time mothers, I can completely surround the child.

The child and grandma came to my house once, sitting on the sofa, watching Yangyang's emotional emotion, alas, his mother bet all of her to the child. If the child grows up one day, what should I do if I leave her? I don't know these. Yang Yang and I read a volume of "Lamb on the Mountains", talking about a little panda, and asked his mother when he grew up, where the other siblings went. Its mother told it that when you grow up, you have to separate from your mother, and there will be a bamboo forest that belongs to your own. Sometimes I asked Yangyang, do you love mom? He would say, I love mom, but my mother, I have to leave you when I grow up, and I will have my own bamboo forest.

Many people mocked me online, saying that my son hated me when he was long -term, because of me, he did not have a better material life. Our company has a little girl in 1996. She is also a divorced family. I asked her that you will have the right to custody because your mother competes with your custody, which causes you to have no dad with better conditions. So do you hate her? She said that I never thought about it. The only thing I was sad was that I saw my mother was so difficult, and I would feel because of me.

After I listened, my eye circles became red. I believe that people with conscience will not grow as what they say on the Internet. What I am more worried about is that when Yangyang grows up, he will feel that his mother is so difficult to live for him, and he will have a psychological burden. What I can do is to make myself more powerful, and to educate him while thinking about letting myself learn more skills, so that I am old, Yangyang grows up, he will not worry about me. He would feel that his mother also developed her career, which was very glorious.

Yangyang is a very clever child. He has not had a good relationship with his dad, and he will avoid saying his father in front of me. For the second trial, the judge said that he would show Cui Wen a child once and let the child meet him online. That's for the first time, the first time I saw Yangyang contacting his father. Yangyang performed his own skills very seriously, singing English nursery rhymes and back poems. Cui Wen didn't let the phone, and Yangyang didn't let it go. On the day of Yangyang's birthday, we arrived at the scene. His dad came on stage with a gift. Yang Yang went up and said, thanks to his father, and he played with his father. He came back to me, "Mom, I think Cui Wen is cool. I sat there and thought, what should I do not show Cui Wen's picture? The connection between them is cut.

In the past two or three years, Cui Wen and I have never had a chance to talk about this matter. What makes me very angry is that his behavior at the time made me feel that he did not love children at all, but was still fighting for custody. In the lawsuit, he did not pay the support fee. I think I just tossed him when I got the custody right, because I hated it too much, I wanted to make him uncomfortable. However, after getting custody, my first reaction was not like this. I informed the child's grandfather and told him that we got the custody right. If Yangyang did not go to school next week, you can come to see him. Grandpa didn't return to me, and I sent it to Cui Wen again and told him that if he did not continue appeal, we would talk about it. He and I had two money in the Chaoyang Court. I said that I could give him all. I don't want nearly 40,000 yuan, but I have to spend it on the child.

He said let's talk about it. Last Monday, we met. That meeting was better than I thought. He took out a piece of paper. There was no special requirement. The main reason was to allow his parents to take him to pick up the child. I expressed their understanding.

When I saw him, I disappeared all his anger, because I got the right to custody. The incident was over, and I no longer watched him with emotions. He explained that in the lawsuit, he did not want to see the child, but that when he wanted to visit regularly, I didn't have such great emotions to refute him. I think it's a matter between you and Yangyang. I only ask my children to be safe when visiting, and don't hurt any damage.

On that day, the two of us were like a long -not, and we talked a little about work. In the end, he said that I would not appeal, and we started paying for the support from the effectiveness of the judgment. I had a mouthful, and you couldn't win if you appealed. He also laughed and said, oops, I won't mention it, all have been playing for so many years.

Such a change is based on our no need to fight. When I met at that time, I suddenly felt that he was so old. He and I have been old and tired in the tap for so many years.

After this incident, I was a lot relaxed, and I felt a heavy burden disappeared from my shoulders. Because about two years later, Yangyang will go to elementary school. That will be my next round of war.

Interviewee

(At the request of the interviewees, Wei Yuanyuan and Cui Wen in the text are a pseudonym.)

Note in the text

① Social care, that is, social caregivers investigate the background conditions of the personality characteristics, family environment, personal will and other backgrounds involving minors, and participate in case mediation.

② In June 2021, the "Decision of the CPC Central Committee and the State Council on Optimizing the Breakfast Development of the Population Population" proposed to cancel the social maintenance fee and clean up and abolish relevant punishment regulations.

③ On August 17, 2022, the deputy director of the National Medical Insurance Bureau's Deputy Division responded to the threshold for receiving maternity allowances, and the social insurance law followed the rights and obligations. Essence

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