"Avoiding attachment" is destined to not embrace love?

Maybe I like to miss you

More than to see you

I may like to imagine you

More than you

Faye Wong's nostalgic lyrics can be said to perfectly interpret the psychological state of the evasive attachment.

Picture source: "Little Prince"

Some time ago, you can always see a small hair who knows that you belong to the personality of avoidance type, and frequently active in the circle of friends late at night:

What exactly did our evasion attachment do wrong? Why does God give us the ability to like a person, but but have deprived us of the ability to accept love and giving love?

When I like a person, how indifferent my heart is, how indifference is on the surface.

Desperate to find his clues that he likes me, and fear of facing his true feelings, eager to escape.

Probably in the love story of avoiding attachment, there is the best love for the love story of avoiding attachment.

... ...

Picture source: "Li Mi's conjecture"

As a good friend who grew up with her, I fully understand her current state.

She doesn't believe that love will happen to herself, but at the same time, she is very eager to get love.

The reason why she "does not believe in love" is because she thinks she has never been loved unconditionally since she was a child.

The lack of love and mother's love in her childhood made her an unreliable impression that she had love, and people couldn't really embrace what she didn't believe, so when facing the strong love of others, she only escaped in her mind.

She lacks love from the family, so she also lacks the ability to love herself, so she often needs the attention of others to prove that she is worthy of being loved. But once she feels the attention and love of others, she will become panic, doubt the pureness of others' love, and doubt whether she really deserves such a beautiful love.

What is an avideline attachment?

Like her longing for love but having doubts and avoidance of love is a typical avoidance of avoided attachment.

Based on the high and low levels of anxiety and avoidance in intimate relationships, psychologists summarize four different types of attachment: safety, obsession, fear, and alienation (avoidance).

The formation of evasion attachment is caused by congenital and later environmental impact interactions. Avoiding attachment is only an attachment mode. It is not the same as the morbid personality. It cannot simply put this label to others, and rudely defines others to change.

Picture source: "Little Prince"

How can the people of avoiding the attached attachment be performed?

Learning love and being loved

By reading related professional books to improve the level of wisdom, establish a de facto -based logic, replace the wrong logic method of avoiding the past, so that you will no longer be extremely afraid of emotions, avoid emotions, and change to control emotions and relieve emotions.

Looking for a reliable partner

Self -love, loving partners, loved by yourself and loved by your partner. Looking for a companion who lives with love and patience, try to overcome his avoidance with him, and learn this ability to learn love from the other party during the practice.

Picture source: "Love Notebook"

· Are you a avoidance of attachment?

· Are you very afraid of intimate behavior like physical contact?

· Will you habitually suppress your needs for intimate relationships?

If you are not sure of your own type of attachment, you may wish to measure our main reference theory of adult attachment. Select the test of three dimensions of the dimensions of the type of closeness, dependence, and security.

People of different types of attachment will look at the relationship with different attitudes and deal with problems in different ways. This can explain why some people always fall into emotional entanglement, and some people can always have a stable relationship.

Understanding the type of attachment is like revealing our interpersonal background, which helps us find the crux of the problem that is often encountered in intimate relationships.

Test your attachment type

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I hope that after testing, you can know a little more about yourself, and at the same time inspire you to establish a healthier interactive mode ~

Author: Dotu

Responsible editor: KK

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