What are the "three -no -husband" who do not communicate, pay or respond in marriage?

In marriage, it is a very desperate thing to pay for feedback.

Psychologist Freud told a story:

A 3 -year -old boy shouted in a dark room, hoping that she would talk to herself. The room was too dark and he was scared.

But Auntie replied: It is useless to do that, there is no light in the dark room, and he can't see himself.

But the little boy said: It doesn't matter, there is a response, there is light.

Where there is no response is the desperation.

In the relationship, if you have no feedback on your efforts, no one responds to you, you will feel uncomfortable. Is it worth being loved? Is your own behavior effective? What should I do to be recognized?

Those couples who are arguing every day can actually pass, because they have a response, even if they are very bad, it is more at ease than a silent desperation.

Because everyone actually has an attachment instinct. When someone can rely on, you can accept your emotions, and you can respond to you, and you will feel that you are connected and determined with this world. If you lose it After this connection, you will experience the floating, just like a floating balloon, without the point of focus, no one holds you tightly when encountering the wind and waves.

And when encountering unspeakable desperations in marriage, many people will take a fierce way to try to attract the attention of the partner. If you want to make him know that you can't hurt himself, the more strongly ask him, the more perfunctory he will be. ,avoid.

Then, you may also be disappointed slowly, feel that he is not moving, and will not change. You start not to look forward to him, and you no longer believe in everything. You think that no one in the world can trust and depend on it. Protect the self -loving self with a thick emotional defense.

However, this does not mean that there is no need for intimacy at all.

If you can, you may not want to maintain such a thick and cold defense. To be a person who never cry, but also imagine that the little girl is spoiled, coaxed, tolerant your waywardness.

In fact, the marriage that does not get a response can make love flow again.

Many times, it is only because I use the wrong method and the bad way to get along, so I can't get the response I want.

You look back at the mode of getting along with your partner. When you feel uneasy, you will keep giving and take responsibility for his emotions. I hope he will be moved because of this, distressed you, and take the initiative to return you. And when his behavior does not meet your expectations, you may use criticism, accusations, and attacks to make him change.

And he will always avoid, shrink, and feel that such persecution makes him very annoying. On the one hand, he thinks he does not need to pay. On the other hand, he is not good at this high concentration of emotional communication.

At this time, you can't help but ask, sticking to him, you always want to get an answer. Even if you don't like it, he needs a reason to give him a reason. You say he feels suffocating.

So enter the "chase-escape mode", which is a common destructive interaction in the relationship.

Therefore, to break the negative cycle without response, you need to adjust the communication mode between you and the interactive mode to see why he is afraid of communicating with you, does not want to respond to you, and guide him to tell his true thoughts.

There is no need to evaluate the right or wrong between your ideas, but to communicate in -depth when discovering inconsistencies and reach a model that both sides recognize. Feeling that your love has some response, marriage can be more secure.

When you encounter emotional problems, don't be afraid, my column is recommended to read.

Emotional treatment in marriage! 100+ dry goods articles updated, the concept is upgraded, and happiness is harvested

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