Are you sure you are heterosexual, how are you sure?

Author:Simple psychology Time:2022.08.26

"I found that I seemed to be only interested in girls now," one of my female friends talked with me:

"I just want to see the beautiful sister when I go to the library. Do you say I am wrong with my sexual orientation? I actually like girls?"

But from the perspective of love experience, she seems to be a 100 % "straight woman" -the is still very popular.

I laughed at her: "Have you talked about love so many times, can't you even figure out your sexual orientation?"

But thinking about it, it seemed that I didn't laugh at her. Since the launch of a girl group draft at the beginning of this year, I have been fascinated by two female love beans like a magic -they call them "wife" unscrupulously on Weibo, and they are "wrench on earth", thinking in my heart, thinking about "If I can fall in love with them."

Even sometimes this idea becomes too strong -so that I have begun to doubt that I am not a pure heterosexuality.

But when I stayed with my sisters, I would feel: "It seems ... I'm a heterosexual."

From another friend, I heard another story that is a bit similar and not similar.

"Since junior high school, I realize that I don't seem to like girls,"

He said, "I was very angry when I was in junior high school, and was particularly popular among girls. But when I play with them, I always think they are all my buddies."

"At that time, I was a boy at the same table. The relationship between us was pretty good. One day he had just finished the basketball back. It was a summer afternoon and I sat next to him.

I watched him raised his head and irrigated it, and the sun just shown on his face. I watched a drop of sweat slipping from his face, slipping across the throat, and finally fainted on his almost soaked T -shirt -I suddenly I feel that my heart seems to be touched. "

"I pretended nothing, but I seemed to be more and more concerned about him. When I was in class, I sneaked at him, and I would lie on the window to watch him playing basketball. I feel so happy too. "

"But I dare not say, no one dare to say. I think my thoughts are too terrible, so I tried to fall in love with girls, but I always felt," This doesn't seem to be what I want. "

"I should prefer boys," he said.

How much do you know about sexual orientation?

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At some point in life, at some stage, have you also had the same doubts- "What is my sexual orientation?"

Perhaps for some people, this may not be a question that takes too much energy to consider.

But for another part, sexual orientation may be a clear life topic that needs to be clear after a long exploration -discovering that "I and others are different" are enough to bring huge inner conflicts, not to mention such a " In the environment where sexual orientation "knows very little, it is gradually accepted, integrated, and identified all the prejudice and disturbances needed for their own sexual orientation.

In our daily life, you may hear the following voices:

Isn't sexual orientation "straight" and "curved", just depending on you like the same sex or the opposite sex

I feel that homosexuality is the trauma before, and then the person who has sex with the problem

... ...

In fact, these are common misunderstandings of the public about sexual orientation. In order to help everyone better understand the relevant concepts of sexual orientation, we will discuss one by one.

01 First of all, what is sexual orientation?

The research on sexual orientation has a long history. In 1973, the American Psychological Association and the American Psychiatry Association removed homosexual behavior from the disease classification system. The definition of homosexuality is more corrected: "Gay refers to a person with the same gender in terms of sex, psychological, emotional or social interests. Such interests have not been revealed from display behavior."

In 1981, scholar Dececco proposed a relatively comprehensive concept to sexual orientation. He pointed out that sexual orientation refers to the same sex, interpersonal emotion, and sexual arousal of personal orientation.

From the perspective of social construction theory, sexual orientation is cultural construction. The process of homosexuality recognizing the same formation is not personal conviction that its potential or "real" sexual orientation, but a process of two -way interaction between continuous, personal and social environment. In other words, under the influence of social factors, individuals develop, self -construct and identify their own orientation.

02 So, is sexual orientation only divided into "straight" and "curved"?

Perhaps many people will look at sexual orientation with simple dual methods, which is what we often say "straight" and "bend".

But in fact, our most common homosexual, heterosexual and bisexuality are not three isolated points.

As early as the 1950s, scholar Kinsey studied this. He believes that heterosexuality and homosexuality are just two points at both ends of the same continuous body. Between these two points, "the gradual process is full of various mutation status."

03 Is non -hean sex a "disease"?

"Heterosexuality and other sexual orientation are the normal aspects of human sex" -n American Psychiatry Society.

However, just 50 years later, many people still have deep prejudice against homosexuality, and even many people will feel that homosexuality is "disgusting."

Perhaps this is related to our deep -rooted traditional cognition.

Heterosexual marriage system, heterosexual love in TV series ... These all make us feel that homosexuality is not supported by social norms and systems or violated social values. And this has caused homosexual groups to be "alien". To a certain extent, we define homosexuality as "crime", fantasizing that it has the bad influence on the opposite sex marriage system and the social disorder brought by it -just like the fear of the "broken window effect".

And this is a kind of "irrational rejection of the possibility of coexistence and inevitability of diverse sexual culture."

I think maybe we have long -term neglect of sexual orientation, which contains the self -confidence of a sexual majority: the previous stereotypes make us feel that everyone's sexual orientation should have a fixed and the same development path -become completely heterosexuality.

Therefore, for a long time, sexual orientation has become a vacuum area of "no need to say, should not be said", and even my country has very few research on sexual orientation. But this is tantamount to covering the ears and stealing bells- "As long as you don't say, it does not exist."

We have learned to glimpse the "prohibited" sexual orientation from Yanmei novels and humanities, but this often has too romantic colors.

Image source: "Call Me by Your name"

The main thing is that the development of sexual psychology exists in everyone's life course, and when we are confused during the exploration of sexual orientation, we need to support Tools also include support and protection of exploration results, that is, we do not need to be ashamed of normal emotional tendencies and needs.

Therefore, in order to help you improve the perception of sexual orientation, obtain more knowledge about sexual orientation, knowledge of sexual minority groups, and improve your sense of orientation identity, we have developed this test. At the same time, we will also provide you with an exclusive growth guide based on your situation and accompany you to deal with the difficulties and challenges in self -improvement.

How much do you know about your sexual orientation?

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