At the age of 23, "three marriage and three leaves", she was ridiculed by the entire network: Why is it unhappy to change individuals to get married?

Millions of fans net red Han Anran, divorced again.

This is the third time that Han Anran, 23, ended a marriage relationship for the third time in 4 years.

This time, many netizens "can't hold":

"Han Anran's divorce certificate is more than your marriage certificate."

"Just fall in love, don't get married, and add workload to the Civil Affairs Bureau."

Native

Those who are "marrying love" will still "repeat the same mistakes" even if they change their personal marriage.

Some people say that the fantasy of love is full, and the marriage reality is sensible.

Is this really true?

There are such sets of statistics on the Internet. As of 2021, the national divorce rate has reached 40%, and the marriage rate has repeatedly reached a record low.

According to a 2017 survey, 20.6%of women in my country often regret getting married, and 56%of women sometimes regret it.

It is easy to love each other, and it is not easy to keep each other.

Marriage is not the wind and snow every day, nor can it be overflowing.

More time, marriage is the back of the back with "good".

The phone is broken, just change one; if you do n’t work smoothly, just change it ...

The marriage issued a red warning, will it be happy if you change it?

Marriage will not solve any problems

It will breed a lot of contradictions

The Japanese movie "Love Bouquet Love" tells a love story of "difficulty".

The ending of the movie is not as fresh and beautiful as the title, but the daily love of most partners in refracting.

Two literary youths of Yamin Mai and Hachiya Silk, because of their common hobbies, came together and spent a lot of romantic and sweet time.

After entering the society, the two had their own jobs. Hachiya chose to work in a cake shop, and Shanyin Mai became an ordinary office worker.

It is a must -choose topic "Marriage".

Shanyinmai likes comics to create, but in the pressure of reality, he has to "bear pain." I thought the work would be comfortable, but Shanyin Mai was unsatisfactory in the company.

Because of his busy work, he gradually became impatient. He had no time to accompany his lover to watch his favorite dramas. Even the literature he had loved gradually gradually could not afford interest.

On the other hand, Hachiya found that he was alone and longer at home. However, Shanyinmai devoted himself to work, and the exchanges between the two were getting less and less, but the disputes were increasing.

Hachiya is often sullen for some small things, and he refuses to communicate with Shanyin Mai Cold War.

Shanyin Mai worked overtime until he forgot to call late at night, and patiently explained the reason, but Hachiya Silk still did not talk to him for 3 days.

Each quarrel and contradiction, the two giving each other the opportunity to communicate and solve the problem.

In the end, there are only strange greetings with each other:

"Early." "I'm back."

I thought that there was love blessing, and marriage would definitely be stable and far away; as everyone knows, love each other does not mean that they can get along with each other.

When she is in love, she will dress up carefully for you; after getting married, you find that her hygiene habits are worse, and the house is messy and never take the initiative to clean up.

When he is in love, he always accommodates your willfulness and temper; after getting married, you are very naive to him from time to time.

When falling in love, both men and women still have retreat; after marriage, they leave the living space of each other, small.

Marriage is like a "history of Romantick".

Source: panoramic vision

On ordinary days, those little things that are rolled into turbulent.

We always think that marriage is the beginning of happiness. In fact, marriage is just a prelude to a long -lasting war.

The more older marriage, the more realistic

I have seen such a thing on the Internet and impressed.

Suining, Sichuan, 53 -year -old Aunt Zhang, his wife walked early because of illness. In the year when my wife left, Aunt Zhang's son had not yet become a house, and his daughter was still in college.

In order to become a child, Aunt Zhang healed himself while healing.

Five years have passed, the son has become a family, his daughter is married, and the children have their own lives. I thought it would be a lot easier, but Aunt Zhang couldn't adapt for a long time.

In order to send loneliness, Aunt Zhang joined the community's elderly university and reported painting and dance classes.

When living to her another window, her feelings have also changed subtle changes. Among the elderly in the community, there are some peers who divorced or widowed.

Someone took the initiative to do a media for Zhang and introduced her to a like -minded wife.

As a child, seeing her mother began to look for the other half, they were also happy for her. Seeing that the children were not opposed, Aunt Zhang accepted the pursuit of a 60 -year -old uncle in the community.

The uncle's surname is Li, who is upright and cares about people. However, Uncle Li insisted that the two had only lived in their partners and did not want to get a certificate of marriage.

At first, Aunt Zhang was unwilling, but thought that the elderly remarried, it was much more troublesome than the young people's marriage, and they did not force it anymore.

She moved to Uncle Li's house and officially started "cohabitation".

Source: panoramic vision

I thought my warm old age was about to begin, but I did not expect the problem to come soon.

Every weekend, Uncle Li's children have to drag back to dinner. A large table of adults, the whole family sat there to chat with melon seeds, only Aunt Zhang was busy.

Before the meals are up, everyone has begun to eat and drink. When Aunt Zhang was put on the table with the last dish, most of the dishes have been destroyed.

Uncle Li's children did not take the initiative to say hello to Aunt Zhang. In that feeling, Aunt Zhang was aggrieved. "Dare to love, I'm a nanny, it's still free."

After the children left, the family borrowed a wolf at home, and Aunt Zhang had to clean up for a few hours. From the beginning to the end, Uncle Li did not help.

Aunt Zhang couldn't help complaining, but in Uncle Li's view, Aunt Zhang was "doing".

In the following days, the two often made noise because of some trivial matters.

Aunt Zhang was used to getting up early to buy vegetables. Uncle Li suspected that Aunt Zhang was too great; Uncle Li went to the toilet to forget the toilet, and Aunt Zhang had to blame when he saw it.

It was never the last one that crushed the camel, but every one.

Under the contradiction, Aunt Zhang decisively chose to "break up" with Uncle Li and moved out of Uncle Li's house.

In this later years, the "part -time marriage" did not taste much happiness, and it ended.

Marriage relationship expert John Gottman proposed a well -known marriage relationship theory:

"In marriage, 69%of the problem cannot be solved."

As large as fertility, buying a house, starting a business, as small as three meals a day, a few points to sleep, who gets up first, these problems cannot be eliminated through "work hard".

When we were young, the pursuit of beautiful marriage and expectations for the future made us willing to compromise for happiness.

Source: panoramic vision

The older the age, the more difficult it is to compromise.

Without the work of work when you were young, the rest of his old age was weighed.

Therefore, don't give up a marriage easily, put your eyes on those issues that can be solved, and strive to operate.

If you have a person, you may have to exhaust your life; but if you lose a person, you can just let it go.

The secret of a happy marriage is the lover who goes in two -way

I have read such a sentence:

"How painful you want to change each other, how painful will be in marriage."

I have to admit the truth of a heart:

We often decide to get married because of the advantages of the other party, but we must live with the disadvantages of the other party.

The fragile chickens in the marriage will enlarge the shortcomings of the other party, and let us doubt whether we have encountered a "wrong person".

But there are no perfect people in the world, and the same is true of partners.

There is a saying good: "From beginning to end, it is not marriage, but the person in marriage."

Many times, we will not become happier because of changing my lover.

The so -called perfect marriage just knows how to operate with your heart.

If you are also troubled, try to cut in from the following 3 points.

1. Delete the complexity simplified and effective communication.

Many times, the couple encounters a little thing, because it will not communicate effectively, and the contradictions will be upgraded invisibly in the quarrel.

You are kind to the sick, and he feels about the soup. He feels that you are in a critical moment and spend money; you want the child to care about the summer vacation, but she wants to fill the child's childhood with the tuition class ...

Many contradictions between husband and wife are due to communication. One will only complain and does not express their needs; one will only escape and do not know how to express dissatisfaction.

The wrong communication will not only push the partner to his own life, but also hurt the intimate relationship.

Source: panoramic vision

In other words, only the key points can effectively eliminate the contradictions in the bud state, and to the greatest extent to resolve the unnecessary contradiction between the two parties.

2. Participate together to witness growth.

There is a question on Zhihu: How can you make marriage always happy?

A high praise answer:

"Let yourself grow up and always be valuable, so as to have a better mentality and perspective to interpret happy marriage."

There is no permanent marriage in the world, only husband and wife who grow up together.

The larger the gap between the two, the easier it is to turn on the red light.

A good marriage is the wind and snow of the two strong men, not the bitterness of the two weak people.

3. Positive feedback to warm the marriage.

Marriage is not a person's unicorn, but a TV series of two people.

No matter how much effort, no matter how much it is given, the other party will not be moved.

From the perspective of the other party, it is much more effective than the self -movement.

For example, he worked hard for a few months and took his family to travel together. At the end of the game, do n’t forget to thank him for his hard work; for example, she went to bed in the morning and night for the child, and changed the way to make three meals a day for her family. Don't forget to embrace her back to work ...

If we get the positive feedback of our partner each time, the happiness of the marriage will increase a lot.

Source: panoramic vision

At the end

There is such a sentence in "Paper Marriage":

"Deciding to marry a person only takes the courage for a while; to protect a marriage, but you need to do your best for a lifetime."

Entering the marriage, it seems like love "the sun is thin and west mountains", and the reality ruthlessly crushes our beautiful yearning in the past.

But without a flower, it was a flower from the beginning.

A thoughtful question, the initiative after a quarrel, a cup of hot air boiling water, can improve the quality of marriage in the accumulation, make the flowers of love forever and bright.

In this practice that can only be self -contained, you can accompany the person who loves to accompany the person who loves it.

Pay attention to the "reader", and hope that we can all have a good person, a total of a journey, and no regrets to reunite for a long time.

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