I still have love for 31 years of marriage. Good love is hidden these three secrets

Have you seen the love in Wang Weishi?

Red beans are born in the south, and there are a few branches in spring.

May Jun pick more, this thing is the most acacia.

A 31 -year -old love of a couple was made by his daughter, and the whole network was all over the Internet. In the video, the two of Lang Cai's appearance looked at each other's eyes full of love, and the arc of the corners of their mouths saw how happy they were.

In the impression of their daughters, they did not quarrel. Dad is very petted, and she must respond to her mother. They usually like to make trouble, and they will take pictures when they see them.

I have seen such a sentence on the Internet: "The probability of the two people meet is 0.004%, and the probability of love is even more minimal."

It is not easy for the two love to be happy, and you need to cherish it more.

In the era of "fast food -style love", such love, no argument, noisy, peaceful love, made people yearn for it.

A university started a "love psychology" elective course. I thought that the door was cocaine, and no one asked, but I did not expect to be very popular on the day of signing up and it was full!

How can I get good love in this impetuous society now? "Happy Marriage" says: The more people can understand, appreciate, respect each other and their marriage, the more they can live together happily in the future.

01

Good love is understanding, appreciation, details

A happy married couple cannot just understand each other, but also appreciate each other. For those who have entered the marriage hall, they will also use love maps to express their understanding of each other, expressing their love and appreciation.

What is a love map?

Rory was so drunk in his work, leaving some insignificant space for his wife and family in his mind.

Not only did Rore not only know the name of his dog, but also did not even know where the back door of the home was. His arrogant ignorance may sound a bit weird, but many married couples suffered from similar problems that did not care about their spouse's trivial matters.

One or both of the husband and wife have only one rough impression of the fun, joy, fear and pressure of each other. Her husband may love modern art, but his wife can't tell why he likes modern art, or his favorite artist Who is; and the husband does not remember the name of his wife and friends, or what the wife loves the dishes that the wife loves, this bad performance is constantly hurting the feelings of both sides.

On the contrary, the husband and wife of high emotional quotient can immediately know the world of each other. I call this area full of rich life as "love maps". This term refers to the place where your brain stores all the related life information about the spouse.

These couples created a lot of cognitive space for their marriage. They remember the important events in each other's life, when the facts or feelings in the world of spouse changes, they will update the information in time.

If the wife ordered a salad for her husband, she knew what the waiter would put in Saladi;

If the wife works very late, the husband will record her favorite TV show, because he knows which show his wife likes the most, and when the show starts;

He may tell your wife's impression of the boss, and will accurately tell you how to walk from the elevator room to his wife's office;

He knows that religion is important to his wife, but his wife is actually suspicious;

She knew that her husband was worried that she was too like his father, and her husband thought that he was an "unrestrained person".

They know the goals, troubles and hope in each other.

02

Good love is that even quarreling opens a gentle opening

The husband and wife should respect each other and accept each other's opinions. This is a good foundation for solving the differences between the two parties. However, many couples have not been able to do so when they try to persuade each other or resolve differences.

By studying how these couples resolve their conflict, John Gotman draws a new model of resolving conflicts in a loving marriage and writes specific embodiments in "Happy Marriage". Of course, if these are to work, you must first start in a gentle way.

In fact, if it wasn't for the silence of screaming or anger, the conversation could have been effective. If this sounds similar to you, and you can be sure that the problem you want to solve is a solve problem, then the key to solving this problem is to learn a new method of solving conflicts.

A popular method of resolving the conflict advocated by many marriage therapists is to concentrate on listening to what the other person is talking about, thinking about the problem at the perspective of the other party, and then thinking about the dilemma and the other party you see in other places. Talk.

If you can do it, this is a good way, but as I have said, many couples, including many very happy couples, cannot do it.

Studies have found that many enviable and loving marriages have not communicated in accordance with the methods proposed by experts when arguing, but they can still resolve each other's conflict.

A mild start does not necessarily have to be so smooth, as long as it does not criticize or despise each other.

In a healthy and pleasant marriage, there may be a big difference between husband and wife, but the wife is likely to say something, such as::

"Hey, I know I'm sometimes lazy, but when you walked next to the laundry basket last night, I didn't stop and stacked the bedding. This made me very angry. I don't like a person to stack all the clothes."

This is the beginning of a gentleness, because it complains directly, rather than criticizing or arrogantly accusing someone. The solution to the solution of the conflict mild is crucial, because my research has found that what ways to discuss the way, what way it will end in.

This is why after listening to a couple's discussion on conflict, I have 96%of my grasp, which can predict the discussion in the first 3 minutes! If you start discussions in a harsh way, this shows that you are attacking your spouse with words, then at the end of the discussion, your tension is at least the same as you start discussions.

However, if you start discussions in a gentle way, this indicates that you will complain about your spouse, but you will not criticize or attack your spouse in other ways, then this discussion is likely to be effective. If most of your discussions start in a gentle way, your marriage may be stable and happy.

03

Good love is to accompany each other and slowly grow older

"I don't envy the couples on the street, only envy the old people who support each other."

The word "white -headed old" is a romantic commitment for men and women in love; it is a wonderful blessing for newly -married couples who are happy.

However, for the old wife and old wife who have lived for most of our lives, they are just accompanied by each other, like a bite of icon oil and salt.

There is a kind of quiet time, calling you to grow old slowly. The best love is the accompanying and supporting old romance of the year.

This journey is unparalleled.

Meet in the vastness of the people, know each other, know each other, love each other, and keep each other. That is a true perfect love!

I have a heart -minded obsession and wants to accompany you through, and every season of storms. Even if love is unpredictable, it will eventually cover the white spots.

When we get older, we still hold our arms and walk on a long road, just like we have helped each other for a long time. When we get older, we will still tremble our hands and give our hearts to each other. Essence

From the green silk to the white hair, the whole life is the same, and the same life is the same. What can be kept is called love.

If you slowly find that a person's landscape is more, there will be a lot of brilliant life. If you are accompanied by a beloved person during the journey, the scenery may be colorful.

We never know which one will come tomorrow and the accident. Life is too short and cherish.

No matter how big this world is, but returning to the warm meals at home, life is longer, but the day and night of chai oil and salt stay.

I can think of the most romantic thing is to accompany you slowly.

John Gotman, who is known as the "Marriage Pope", has a conclusion after tracking and studying 700 couples:

The secret of the success of marriage is to show your love for each other with details.

Good love, the time of fighting for victory, can be worthy of the years, can stand away, and be able to bear it.

May everyone meet what we love in our hearts, and hope that we can reach the end of the long years ~

- END -