Those who love angry will encounter three problems

Do you express anger when you are angry?

This seemingly "problem that is not a problem" is a big problem for many people who habitually suppress themselves.

Yu Feihong once said in an interview that she would not express anger or "no" when she was a child, which made her heart very depressed.

When I was in college, I was unhappy with the girls in the same dormitory, and I was very angry, thinking about what to say after she came back. But as soon as the other party came back, what I just thought could not be said.

When you are anxious, you can't speak, you can only kick your own washbasin to vent.

Until a small accident, she realized the joy of expressing anger.

That day, she took the road to pick up the car after eating, and a car drove over from a distance. Yu Feihong walked and noticed that the car did not mean to decelerate the car, so she ran a few steps instinctively and ran past. zebra crossing.

As a result, the car rushed in front of her and stopped the brakes. If she hadn't run a few steps, it might be hit.

A fascination aroused Yu Feihong's courage. She rushed over to kick the opponent's tires, scolded the driver with all the swear words he learned, and vented a pass.

This is a ridiculous thing in others, and it is not even more advantageous, but it is a breakthrough for those who never express anger and suppress.

The philosopher Selr said, "Angry is the most disgusting and most violent in all emotions, because it is related to whether we have been respected and have all kinds of tangible or intangible losses.

And a person who is easy to be angry and angry does not express, often in three aspects: health, work and interpersonal relationships, and it is also difficult.

Why are we angry?

Psychology believes that anger is a kind of emotional response that others do not meet your needs and common expectations. It is a threat Based on it.

Each emotion is a reaction to our response to the external world. When it is threatened, it will be afraid, what you want will be satisfied, and you will be sad when you lose your love ...

Angry is the way to protect its rights and boundaries when attacked and hurt.

When you are angry, you will feel the flow of blood, and the fist is particularly powerful, because when people are angry, the blood will flow more to the limbs in order to escape the scene or make a counterattack.

In the face of anger, some people will directly attack others, exit counterattacks, and even fight, and those who cannot attack others will choose to attack themselves, that is, attacking their bodies.

When anger comes, your blood pressure will suddenly increase, the blood flow will increase, impacting the smooth arterial blood vessel wall, damage it, and dentan.

Fatty acids, glucose and other substances are sticking to damaged blood vessel walls, causing arteries to obstruct, arterial sedimentary plaques affect the heart, thereby increasing the chance of obtaining heart disease such as coronary heart disease and myocardial ischemia.

In the relationship, anger is a devastating power. The divorce rate becomes higher, friendship and family breakdown, isolation and loneliness are getting stronger, etc., almost all related to anger emotions.

As an expert who studied anger disorders, Raymond Qipu proposed in "How to get angry" that the key to managing anger is not to restrain anger, but to learn to deal with anger when angry.

Raymond Qipu ｜ Tiandi Publishing House

For example, you need to find your emotional incentives, that is, what situations are particularly easy to make you angry; you need to clarify the problem to find the root cause of anger; you need to change your thinking and let yourself return to the track of habitual thinking ...

There is a story in "Who Touch your Emotional button".

The author heard a man chatting with a friend at the train station. He said, "When I quarreled with my daughter -in -law, I basically did not speak first. After to a certain degree, I smashed things and put everything that I could fall at home. They all fell again, and the daughter -in -law closed her mouth immediately. "

The proud tone seemed to be saying that this was something that people who had status at home should do.

The author wants to tell him that this does not indicate that his family status is high, but it just shows that he is still a "animal" that rely on instinct, but just repeating the fate and emotional model of a member of his family.

This kind of anger and venting are expressing: I want to destroy myself, I want to destroy the entire family, I want to show my power by destroying everything to make you afraid ...

This emotion is just a deterrent and destruction of inertia. It is the worst and stupid way of dealing with the family and yourself.

When he did not realize the ins and outs of the anger, he was still self -confident and thought he was domineering.

And a person who can control emotions will not rush to get angry or deal with problems when the anger rises. Instead, trying to understand what he is angry, in the face of the reason why you really make you angry, learn to release it. mood.

Release is not a vent.

When you ignore everything, such as scolding and smashing things, you will regret it afterwards. The same problem will happen next time, and your emotions will be stronger.

The release of emotions is to allow the mood to be peaceful, fully feel the current emotions, allow you to release the emotions that need to be expressed, and then keep silent and let yourself relax and return to a peaceful and peaceful state.

It's like a big sweeping for emotions.

In addition to the method of controlling emotions when anger comes, "How to not be angry" also proposes some strategies that make yourself more peaceful and more easily pushed away by emotions in terms of lifestyle habits. Such as managing your living environment and living habits.

The living environment such as temperature, music, color and light, food selection, drinking, sleeping and other living habits have greatly affected our emotions.

Too dark and closed houses can make people irritable; when they drink too much, they are easy to get angry when they drink too much.

Or learn for forgiveness and forgive people and things that have hurt you.

Forgiveness does not mean that what the other person is doing is right, but that I don't want to be entangled with this incident or this person.

In this world, if someone loves you, some people don't like you; if someone brings you strength, someone will squeeze warmth on you; if someone gets together with you, there will be no one with you; someone is here to help you, someone is someone, some people are Come to hone you ...

They have no essential right or wrong, but they are different from your relationship and position.

You may be angry for yourself, to be angry for others' stupidity, to be angry for not understanding, to be angry with your weaknesses and faults, to reach consensus and jealousy for people who cannot be important, to be unable to say exporting. And angry ...

The important thing is that to maintain self -confidence, learn to express emotions in a firm way, and negotiate solutions with others in a fair and reasonable way.

We will eventually know that losing temper is only the instinct of animals, and the stronger who solves the problem is the strong of life.

Author | Covenant, write a good story of others, and live a good life.

Picture | Visual China, the Internet (if there is any infringement, please contact delete)

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