Children's psychiatry, not only showing a doctor for children

At the center of mental health, pediatrics are the most difficult. Doctors must not only be responsible for their children, but also to be responsible for parents standing behind their children.

The child said, "I don't want to go to school, my mother hit me, and I don't want to go." The doctor just wanted to appease, and the parents refuted: "Why do I hit you, isn't it because you don't go to school? What do you do? "The two sides quarreled in the clinic and pulled the doctor to evaluate themselves.

Children's mental problems are not caused by a single cause. There must be many factors: whether the school environment is friendly, the pressure given at home is not great. What is the period of development of the child, what about the genetic quality and personality factors? If parents are only to seek an exact answer, I am afraid they will be disappointed.

Who is a patient

In order to make my parents aware of my arbitrary, I usually ask two questions. The first is: "When did you start to feel that the child is not right?" Parents usually give a specific period, such as "he intermittently asked for leave last month" or "last Tuesday morning, he said his stomach hurts, and he will go back in the future. I never went to school again. "

Compared to the simple answers of parents, the child's answer is more abundant: "I haven't felt happy for a long time." Or "I just couldn't sleep at the beginning, and then I couldn't hear the class. I don't want to answer. "

It can be seen that most of the parents pay attention to the superficial phenomenon, and the children pay more attention to the changes in internal emotions. So it is easy to form a bad cycle: the parents who pay attention to the surface are getting anxious, passing the anxiety to the child, the child's emotions cannot be vented, and it becomes worse and worse.

Another issue is about parent -child relationship and family interaction. I will try to ask the child: "If you get better, will you not want to see it?" Xiao Yan just went to the first year, because there were problems with emotional problems and often did not go to school. As for, Xiao Yan got more entertainment and rest time, but she was afraid that once she returned to normal, her mother would return to her original state.

The benefits of this kind of disease are called "second -level benefits", which will make people willing to continue to play the role of patients and unwilling to recover. In the past, the second -level benefits of children were often some extra excessive demands, but now they have gradually evolved into normal needs, such as being understood by parents and obtaining sufficient options.

It can be seen from the children's concerns that their family systems they live in are also tested. One important genre in psychotherapy is family treatment, that is, not only children who are sick, but also the relationship between them and the people around them.

How to help children

During the consultation, parents' questions are always the same: when can he go to school? Can you get less temper? If I confiscated my phone, no matter how to use it? Why did he like to tell me anything ... When he was helpless, his parents would be anxious. However, whenever I say "adults change, children will become better", most of the heads of the family are resisting and questioning.

I have a patient who often twitches intermittently when I go to school. But on the way to the hospital, the child's convulsions will be relieved by themselves, and then there are no abnormalities in various physical examinations. The child's mother is also a doctor. I feel that the child is pretending to be sick and try to ignore it intentionally, but the situation has intensified.

When I was a doctor, I analyzed the incentives of the convulsions with my children. Two times he remembered that he was very clear: once he was unhappy with his classmates, and the other was to stand under the sun for an hour when the flag raised. Obviously, children's convulsions are closely related to mood, but only the parents did not see it, and they could cause misunderstandings to interpret it physiological.

For psychiatrists, the symptoms of patients need to be understood in a specific situation. It is the most important thing when children, where, and whom will induce bad feelings. If parents can also see the essence through the phenomenon, and truly understand the child's dilemma, at least it will not make things worse.

Many children's courage to seek change is slowly accumulated on the basis of parents' understanding. Taking the transition of grades as an example, parents know that the results of the decline in the performance will bear more pressure, but in fact, the grades have made rapid progress, which may also cause the child's inner change. I have seen a child, and the middle exam suddenly entered the top three in the class. When the classmates borrowed notes in the future, she looked very hesitant: not borrowing, afraid of offending classmates; borrowing, and fear of classmates surpassing herself. This dual -tech conflict has induced the anxiety of children. At this time, parents must learn to identify stress signals and understand the needs of their children to find ways to get out of the predicament with their children.

Grow with children

As the prevalence of mental illness rises year by year, there is often a situation in clinical practice: parents suffer from some kind of mental illness, because of inappropriate raising methods, causing children to have emotional problems.

Xiaofang's mother has anxiety and is full of concerns about the future. When the child was tired of studying, she sighed for a while, and she couldn't get a good middle school. This extreme way to think about the problem is completely transmitted to Xiaofang. Even if she is stuck by a mathematical question, she will cry loudly and feel that she has no hope.

There was also a mother who had been depressed postpartum. Later, due to the betrayal of her husband, the depression occurred again. She washed her face with tears all day and was lying on the bed. When the child came back from school, she took the child's hand to complain, and lost her temper without listening. Slowly, the child's emotions also operated excessively, sensitive and irritable, and ultimately affecting learning.

When similar children come to ask for help, we must not only interfere with the child, but also change the family interaction. If parents are the source of children's problems, they need to change the source of stress. Even the child's illness is an opportunity for the whole family to change, so that parents have the opportunity to work with their children, learn to cope with their emotions, and update their understanding of life. With the help of a doctor, Xiaofang's mother understands and soothe, and understands that the child is more efficient after relaxation. Slowly, her anxiety was reduced, her children had a loose environment, it was not easy to entangle in a question, and her ability to deal with setbacks was stronger.

The depressed mother also learned to adjust her emotions in the right way. For children, this is also a demonstration: Moms have a boundaries in expressing their emotions. Only when children lose their temper, they will understand what the boundary is, and they will be controlled.

In a constant environment, if the parents' heart is not strong enough and is often affected by surroundings, the support for children is also very limited. On the contrary, if parents can adapt to surrounding changes through self -growth, their children are confident that they face their problems slowly.

In short, growth is the ultimate proposition of everyone and every family. The ultimate goal of psychiatric treatment is not only to eliminate symptoms and cure diseases, but also to promote the development and maturity of children's personality. All these rely on the common efforts of the entire family.

Author | Cao Hui Tianjin Psychological Health Center Psychological Counselor

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Edit | Liang Mu Wu Qiuqiu Edited | Zhang Xiuli

Source | "Earlier of Man" magazine

Produced by Guangdong Health Online All -Media Team

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