The best family style: don't blame your parents, don't blame your partner, don't blame your children

"Book of Rites" has a cloud: "Father and son, brothers, husband and wife, family fat."

The best feng shui of a family is not in Jinyi jade food, but in the same way, thinking in one place.

Father and son are deeply affectionate, and the couples are considerate of each other. The family will work together, and the family will be prosperous.

01 Do not blame your parents

"Zhu Zijiaxun" has a saying: "Healthy wealth, Bo's parents, not adults."

If there is only a interest in a person's eyes, he is critical of his parents, and he will lose the qualifications of his children.

Fang Yongfu, a single father in the TV series "Happy Family", rely on a noodle restaurant to raise three children to adults.

But his son Fang Tianyi had a heart to cut off his relationship with him after getting married, and he suspected that he could not help him.

"Do you know how many people in the hospital are worse than me?

They relying on their parents, they don't have to be afraid after they go out, and I work harder than them, because they have a background, I will always be a son of the noodle boss in their eyes, so I can only bear it! "

Faced with accusations, the old father was ashamed and bowed deeply to his son, "It's my father's ability, I'm sorry for you."

There are always some people who blame their parents, and complain that they have not created better conditions for themselves.

I never thought that there may be no excellent family situation and good connections, but they have made every effort to give everything he can give.

Yang Zhanyu said in "Time Record": "A family may be the purest feelings in the world. In addition to love and care, you should also be grateful."

The grace of life is greater than the sky.

Putting down the harsh standards for parents, learning to be grateful, and considerate, is the most basic education for children.

Some time ago, in 2017, Cangzhou Science Champion Pang Zhongwang screamed on the Internet. He scored a good score of 744 points that year. The president of Tsinghua University visited him.

But when the group arrived at Pang Zhongwang's house, the scene in front of them made them stupid:

The abandoned cardboard and bottles are full of yard. In the short room, there are no tables, there are only two beds.

His mother was sitting in a wheelchair, and his father had mental illness.

Seeing this situation, the principal Qiu Yong had a sourness in his heart.

But Pang Zhongwang never had a complaint:

"I didn't think my family couldn't take it out.

My mother is so good, my grandpa is so good, each of my relatives is so good, I don't think they shame me. On the contrary, I think others should envy me. "

He understands that everything he has is inseparable from the support of his parents, so he is grateful and lively.

As Zhang Jiawei said:

"Parents pull you big, no disease, no disaster, no genetic disease, sacrifice your quality of life to satisfy you, there is nothing to leave you to affect you, it is really beautiful, it is worthy of your gratitude Dade."

They have shrunk food and support you to grow up.

A real maturity is not the enemy of his parents, but a perfect reconciliation with them.

02 Not blame your partner

There is a question on Zhihu: Which moment I feel that I am not wronged?

There is a praise answer:

"It was not bullied by outsiders when I was a kid, nor was I was reprimanded by my boss when I grew up;

But I made a mistake, and I was sorry for myself. Intimate people not only did not console, but also blamed. "

No matter how many times I revisit "A Pilgrimage", I will regret that the relationship between Harrod and Molin's famous husband and wife in the book.

The two were originally respectful as guests, Qin Se and Ming, but for more than 20 years due to an accidental Cold War.

The suicide of son David caused the two to be hit well, and her husband Harold was in a deep self -blame:

"If you usually care about David, you can know that he suffers from depression earlier."

"If you know that he is addicted to alcohol and medicine, I will hold him in my arms."

But when Harold was the saddest, his wife Molin blamed all his son's death on Harold.

He said that he was not a good father and never gave David's love.

This is tantamount to worsening for the middle -aged bereavement.

Mo Lin moved into the room before David's lifetime, and said to David's black and white photos all day.

Two people have become the most familiar strangers, and they are separated from each other.

There is a Fasteinge law in psychology: 10%of life, consisting of what happened to you, and another 90%depends on the response you made.

Many times the marriage that destroys a marriage is not something, but your attitude facing this matter.

Pushing the faults to the other side will only stimulate the contradiction between the husband and wife and push the partner further and further.

The happiest marriage is to take a pair of warm hands and go forward.

Some people say that Luo Yonghao is stupid. He is too ideal, paranoid crazy, what to do and what to smash is a proper "industry light".

But he felt that his wife was "stupid".

At first he worked in New Oriental. At that time, his annual salary was 300,000 enough to write a successful book for successful learning. He had an annual salary of 500,000, but he chose to resign and start a business. In this regard, his wife did not complain.

He made a mobile phone and made the company bankruptcy; in the electronic cigarette industry, in less than 20 minutes, the state issued a smoking ban ...

He kept tossing and let him owe 600 million debts. He collapsed and wanted to give birth, but his wife did not say a word and signed a huge debt guarantee for him. He snuggled each other, and supported each other in the wind and rain. Later, with the support of his wife, he shuttled through the live broadcast room one after another, and also cleared the debt, and the lives and beauty of the two people.

Marriage is the practice of two people.

When you encounter a problem, you blame you with 10,000 sentences.

The so -called husband and wife are just a understanding, one generous, one does not complain, and one does not blame.

03 Do not blame children

The UAE IKEA had done an experiment.

The experiments put the two pots of plants with a cover in a school, poured the same water, applied the same fertilizer, and bathed the same sunlight.

It's just that the two pots of plants will be treated differently:

One pot of plants will accept people's praise every day; the other pot of plants, but they hear the insult language every day.

The 30 -day experiment passed. As a result, the pot of love and encouragement of love and encouragement still thrive; and the plants that accepted language violent attacks were sluggish.

In fact, children are like the pot of plants. The endless accusations and criticisms will be turned into a sharp blade, stabbing the child's heart, leaving bloody holes.

When Zhang Ailing recalled her mother, a angry face always emerged in her mind.

On one occasion, Zhang Ailing found one less chair. The young she moved to a chair, but her mother shouted in front of all guests: "What are you doing?" Pig! "

Zhang Ailing had severe typhoid fever. Her mother found a French doctor to heal. She was responsible for taking care of her daughter's daily diet and living. When she was bored, she would complain:

"You are a harmful! It will only drag others, so you shouldn't care about you."

The mother's knife mouth pushed Zhang Ailing further and further.

When her mother was seriously ill in London in her later years, she hoped that when Zhang Ailing could go to visit, she just remitted a little money and text.

Jimi said: "Children would rather be stabbed by the cactus, and they did not want to hear the adults ridiculed at him."

The physical injury can be healed, but how to repair it?

Parents' words and deeds can close a door and open a window for him.

"The most milk dad in the Republic of China" Liang Qichao never encouraged his children.

One day, the second daughter Liang Sizhuang was frustrated because of the test only 16, but Liang Qichao comforted her daughter:

"The grade is so, I am very satisfied. I can get the sixteenth in the 37th person. It really lost you. I don't have to worry, just work hard," it is better. "

He often said to his children: "Whether there will be achievements in the future, of course, it still depends on talent. But asking for the cultivation, I do n’t ask for the gain, do my best to do my ability, and where to do."

Whenever he is gentle and calm in front of the child. Under such a family style, three of his nine children have three academicians, and the remaining six are also people.

I really agree: Every child is dancing on the tip of his parents.

Parents who have a lot of words are difficult to sprinkle the seeds of sunlight in their children's hearts; the spring breeze -like families, and it is difficult to raise a cowardly child.

Friendship and good family atmosphere are the best gifts for parents to give their children.

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Someone once said to Yang Yan, "One of your couples is a scholar and the other is a writer, which can be described as great achievements."

Yang Yan replied faintly: "The writer is not a great achievement. My biggest achievement is that I have a good family."

Family people live in harmony with each other, life is peace and joy, which is the greatest happiness of people in this life.

Source: Incight (DJ00123987)

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