[Psychological Health] 32 classic cases of family education, each one is worth reading!

Bleak

Carefully organize 32 family education cases for you, involving all aspects of understanding, communication, respect, role models, rules, emotional management, ability training, and love between parents and children.

Fresh life scenes and psychological expert reviews will bring you more thinking. Do not miss teachers and parents!

•Table of contents•

Case 1: Forced to interact

Case 2: Why not give Grandpa and grandma?

Case 3: Can children who "promote seedlings" be happy?

Case 4: "Snail" takes me to take a walk

Case 5: Give your child a happy childhood

Case 6: Don't let the compulsory learning take the joy of childhood

Case 7: Don't let excessive praise numb children

Case 8: Is it a bowl or a heart?

Case 9: "Filling Ducks" cannot make up for the gap in love

Case 10: I want to draw a different cow

Case 11: You also have a pair of free wings

Case 12: Don't worry! Listen to what the child says

Case 13: Child, you can say "no"

Case 14: When the child does not say hello to others

Case 15: It's not equivalent to yourself if it's not good.

Case 16: "You can do it!" And "You can't!"

Case 17: Tong Yan Tongyu

Case 18: Locking love

Case 19: There is no obstacle on the road to explore

Case 20: Graffiti in the world of respect and love

Case 21: Voyager in the eyes of love

Case 22: Choose happiness in unwillingness

Case 23: Calm calm space of candy

Case 24: Mom will hurt too

Case 25: Mirror

Case 26: When the child can't afford it

Case 27: Fighting "Rough Exit"

Case 28: Awakening of Love

Case 29: Children who love to say "I can't"

Case 30: "No" for children's improper shopping requirements

Case 31: After the child falls

Case 32: Mom, do you don't like me?

Case 1: Forced to interact

When my daughter Tong Tong was 2 years old, I realized that she should make more friends by reading a book, so she always pulled her to say hello to her children. But Tong Tong didn't like to talk, I said for her anxious, I participated for her if I didn't want to play games. Tong Tong always followed silently. Later, when I found that Tong Tong was alone, I didn't know what I was playing, and I especially cared about whether others were friends. After going to kindergarten, she often said that she did not want to go to kindergarten because there were no good friends. I started to realize that I forced my children to have deep anxiety and anxiety to her.

I no longer forced Tong Tong and started taking her out to guide her to play slowly. My change has also brought the child's transformation. She became more and more confident, and it was natural to say hello to children. Friends gradually increased. This incident made me feel deeply: Each child has his unique personality. He needs to grow according to his own rhythm. Parents are just suitable for care, instead of interfere or even organize his life.

▶ Expert comment:

Children are different, education does not have a unified standard, and it is impossible to find a method suitable for every child from the book. Parents are anxious with the book. It is better to squat down to listen to the child's voice. Only by respecting the child can the child get security and confidence and naturally learn to interact.

Case 2: Why not give Grandpa and grandma?

What good nephews are always willing to share with me. Dad is "very small": "I have to give my aunt for everything. Grandpa and grandma will not give it. This child hurts in vain." It is very generous, and it is willing to share with grandparents with delicious food. But Grandpa and grandma often teased him: "The delicious one also gives the grandparents!" The child's hand passed immediately, and they quickly said, "Grandpa, grandma don't eat, you eat it yourself!" After a few times, you eat it! "After a few times!" After a few times! " Children will no longer take it seriously. When the nephew shared with me, I would like to thank and really eat it with him. It also boasted that his things were delicious, and the nephew was happy to share with me. Dad even blame me, "Why do adults eat children's things!"

▶ Expert comment:

The child's heart is simple and beautiful, and he will take every requirement of the adult world. As an adult, the most important thing is to respect the child's simplicity and beauty, not to tease the child for fun or expressing intimacy. Many unintentional actions that treat children seemingly funny in life, but behind they are deep disrespect for children. To love children, please treat him as an equal person.

Case 3: Can children who "promote seedlings" be happy?

For young children who are about to be promoted to elementary school, it is important to develop good learning habits, but many parents pay too much attention to knowledge and skills. "Teacher, do you study 7 today? How can children only have two kinds of children? My friend's children have learned the decomposition of 13. Is she too stupid? What should I do if I can't keep up in elementary school? I taught her to know the clocks and taught it many times. She didn't know it. I also made a video. You can see how her performance is like this?! "In the video, the child cried hard on the table. Thinking of the usual time, this little girl retreated when she encountered a small difficulty in the class: "Teacher, this is too difficult, I don't want to participate." I finally understand that living in such an urgent, anxious and negative environment, the child Can you be confident?

▶ Expert comment:

It may not be the best one who rushed in front, and it should not be the ruler of children's growth sooner or late. Parents look at Jackie Chan's mood no matter how urgent, and don't let each other to compare and blindly blind the wind, otherwise the child's heart will eventually hurt. Give your child full time and space, and wait for his bloom with a smile, which is the best love for the child! Case 4: "Snail" takes me to take a walk

In the morning, I urged my son to get up to the kindergarten as usual, and then went to practice the car. I was anxious, but found that my son bit his toothbrush in his mouth and stood in front of the toy rack to play toys. I was so angry that he shouted his name loudly and slapped his buttocks fiercely. My son was frightened by my sudden move, standing there stupidly, full of fear in his eyes, and still holding an unsatisfied magnetic stick in his hand. After I criticized, my son said timidly: "Mom, I want to fight a sun flower, you wish to make a wish in the sun, and the exam will be passed tomorrow." I stunned, holding him in my arms, and holding him in my arms. Can't speak.

The pressure of work and life often makes me feel tired, impetuous, and inevitably angry with my son. But my "little snail" was ironed with his love and kindness.

▶ Expert comment:

When children show their behaviors that do not meet the expectations of adults, adults often criticize and scold them simple and rudely, which is great disrespect for the child. In fact, if you listen to the child "why do you do this", you will find that you must return you like a warm and happy love and surprise like "sun flower".

Case 5: Give your child a happy childhood

Before her daughter Duo Duo was born, I started planning her future. From 7 months, I have begun to literacy, and all the furniture has been labeled with Chinese characters; from the "Three Characters", "Thousand Characters" to Tang Poetry, teach her to recite them one by one. The blossoming memory is very good, and the back is fast and accurate. This makes me proud. But when she was 3 years old, the problem came: she was too quiet, children of the same age were playing outside, but she read a book alone in the corner. This made me start to reflect: Will my exercise be in a hurry to destroy her childhood? When I was a kid, I played happily and worry -free with my friends, and I had an intimate contact with the magical nature ... how can there be any early education? What kind of words do you recognize? Isn't I also good now?

I decided to change, no longer forced to learn too much knowledge, but the grades of Duoduo have been among the best. I am extremely satisfied with watching Duoduo's free and happy smile every day.

▶ Expert comment:

Children's life has unique and irreplaceable value. However, children's childhood often bear too much expectations of adults. When they are born, they "plan" in advance, and teach the words in advance in 7 months. Essence Fortunately, my mother reflected her problems in time, decisively "giving up", allowing her daughter to return to happy childhood and obtained healthy growth.

Case 6: Don't let the compulsory learning take the joy of childhood

Driven by the mentality of "Wangzi Jackie Chan", I have given children a lot of forced "love". For example, on the weekend, I arranged for a whole day of course. If he retreated a little, I would be furious, and even using domestic violence. I often see the resentment and dissatisfaction in my child's eyes. Whenever the child is bored, I have a good persuasion and a material reward, and impose the "special love" I think on him. Until one day, I found that material no longer attracted, and he began to avoid me. "Learning", ruthlessly opened my child and my child. I also want to be a "loving mother", but in fact, I am a "mother" and cannot control my emotions. Am I too selfish and utilitarian? Intersection

Last year I participated in the training of educational psychology. I knew a lot and found the direction of love again. As a mother, let the child take the initiative to learn under the promotion of interest, and should not impose their wishes to the child, letting the child live in the atmosphere of anxiety and nervousness. I want to change, starting with my expectations, respecting the child's interest.

▶ Expert comment:

We often abduct children through the name of "love", letting children bear our anxiety and complete our unfinished expectations. Let the child become himself, grow up according to his rhythm, better than all the "love" language and material.

Case 7: Don't let excessive praise numb children

Obviously like painting. But at the time of the exhibition work, he pouted and said, "No matter what I paint, the teacher will say that it is really good. Xiaohai (the children in the class) will praise her with the color teacher, and give her back to her. The same prize as me is really boring! "

Wei Wei was also exaggerated by parents from a young age. When she smiled, everyone praised: "The baby laughed so beautifully!" I don't forget to appreciate: "Wei Wei really has a personality!" But as she grew up slowly, parents and teachers gradually discovered a serious question: Wei Wei only wanted to listen to good words, could not listen to any criticism, and could not stand a little setbacks Essence

In the class I have brought, many children are easily self -righteous in blind praise and affirmation, and even have a behavior of frustration, anger, retreating or hostile, but parents do not realize.

▶ Expert comment:

Excessive appreciation and unnecessary praise can not effectively express your love for children. To a certain extent, it will also allow children to rely too much on external evaluations without really investing things itself. Over time, it will weaken the child's sense of responsibility and the sense of responsibility and Getting up, lack of motivation to do things. Case 8: Is it a bowl or a heart?

Once my daughter accidentally broke a bowl, and the small material in the bowl splashed me. I couldn't help but shout. The daughter looked at the frightened me, looked at the broken bowl, panicked, and timidly. He said to me, "Mom, let me hit me!" Her expression and discourse told me she knew it was wrong. Why did I blame her again? So I smiled and said to her, "Mom forgive you, you must be careful next time!" The daughter's mouth was heavy again, and she said with grateful to me, "Well, mother, I remember!" So again happily Play.

I was still surprised to think of her sentence afterwards. Why did she let me hit her? Did I hurt her too much? How many times, I am doing housework, and my daughter has no intention of "chaos", and I will impatiently scold her; how many times, when I get home from get off work, I am exhausted, my daughter is looking for me to read, and my head refuses her; how many times, how many times, My daughter was grinding, and I would "hold" her downstairs while blaming her ... The daughter was afraid that she would not make her mother's anger, and she was more afraid of my mother's blame and punishment.

Breaking the bowl can be bought, but the child's heart can no longer be recovered. As a parent, more tolerance and patience can help children build a strong heart.

▶ Expert comment:

The moment of breaking the bowl, the parents controlled their emotions, accepted the child's "losing" behavior, and gave the child a sense of security; behind the calm, the parents' hearts were ups and downs. My perception, dialogue with children. It is not easy to be a good mother, just to experience such a growth!

Case 9: "Filling Ducks" cannot make up for the gap in love

I used to meet such a mother on my way to work. My mother looks very learning and has been telling the children a variety of knowledge when I have been losing the opportunity. This knowledge obviously exceeds the child's understanding. As a result, the child rarely responds. Even There is no expression at all. Who knows how much children listen to?

Another time in the library, I saw a mother who had been reading stories for her four or five -year -old children, one after another, one by one, and one after another, and my throat was almost speechless. It can be seen from the dull eyes of the child that he has long been annoyed.

I couldn't help feeling that these mothers paid for selflessly, and seemed to want to pour all the worlds of their children. They could not immediately absorb all of them and grow up quickly. However, in fact, the child was filled with duck, and there was no chance to breathe, and finally became numb and became a puppet in the hands of his mother.

▶ Expert comment:

Can you say that such parents don't love children? Their love has too many expectations. A large amount of knowledge information filling duck -like education cannot make up for the gaps of children's emotions, and cannot replace the natural communication between parent -child. harm.

Case 10: I want to draw a different cow

Today, children want to draw cows. I asked the children to observe the pictures and fan paintings about cattle, and then started drawing.

"Come and see, the smiling cow is stabbing." The children got together. "The cattle shed she painted is so messy!" "Why do you take a grass in your hands to feed the cow? ..." "You painted differently from the teacher!" Also walk over. Smile seemed a little awkward. I encouraged to talk about her paintings with a smile. "This is a cow hair. My cow has a lot of cattle hair." "This is a straw bar, where the grass is pretending, and the cattle grass of the uncle's family is pretended." Xiaohe drinks water, the child I drew is me. "

Each child is a unique, creative and thoughtful individual. Smile paintings made me reflect on art activities that do not apply Fan painting to restraint children's thinking.

Experience comes from life. Real experience is far more enthusiastic about children's creation than pictures and Fan painting. I want to create more conditions for children, enrich their life experience, increase their perception, and make them more exciting!

▶ Expert comment:

Teachers listen and encourage their children's creative performance to praise! Loving the child will let him feel life in full, and bloom in his own way!

Case 11: You also have a pair of free wings

Wei Wei was suffering from disability, blindness, and the congenital bone joints of the right legs falling off. Just a few months before entering the park, he had just moved a major surgery. Now walking is not very stable and his language expression ability is weak. As the head teacher of the small class, because of sympathy and love, he paid special attention and care for him. No matter where he went, I was holding his little hand at any time, and he was afraid that he was afraid of something. But this time, I found that his little hand was quietly breaking away and said to me with an unclear voice, "Teacher, I have to play too."

My heart was stunned, is my special care for him, and it has formed a restraint for him, and even hurting his self -esteem? The "injured bird" also has his own wish, and he also wants to play, imagine and fly like his young friends. While taking care of him, I should exercise slowly, let him adapt to the kindergarten environment, and let him grow up healthily with children in this environment; I should also inspire other children to learn to help friends in need to create people to create people to build people A pleasant atmosphere of equality and harmony. ▶ Expert comment:

Love him is not to make him feel weak; love him is the power to make him full of life!

Case 12: Don't worry! Listen to what the child says

One night, I walked out of the kitchen and saw a daughter over 3 years old spreading a large bath towel on the floor, stepped on it on it and jumped. This bath towel was just washed back today. She even ... I was anxious and angry, she was about to scold my daughter. She said to me excitedly, "Mom, you see, I dance on the clouds!" Looking at her little red face, I stunned and could no longer scold. I held my inner vibration and sat down to enjoy my daughter dance. She jumped for a while, circled, and lay on a big bath towel for a while. The intoxicating look, as if he was really on the clouds, freely waved in the beautiful sky. After jumping for a while, she stopped and climbed into my arms. I can't help but sigh, thank my daughter for expressing myself in time so that I can enjoy the beautiful cloud dance tonight.

▶ Expert comment:

In the eyes of adults, the child's naughty and destruction may be the naughty and destruction of the child; however, in the child's pure and beautiful heart, it may be beautiful music and beautiful clouds. They have no intention of destruction. If we start from the perspective of adults and anxious to criticize and educate children, children's unique perspectives and amazing imagination will be stifled roughly. Therefore, when encountering a "destruction" incident, don't worry, listen to what the children say.

Case 13: Child, you can say "no"

As parents often ignore or cannot tolerate their children to say "no" to us. In fact, every child has his own reasons when saying "no".

This happened between me and my daughter. One night, my daughter suddenly was going to hold the box with milk powder. I was afraid that the milk powder would not let her get it, but she said firmly, "No." After a few minutes, she sprinkled the milk powder on the table and floor. She looked at me timidly. At that time, I wanted to get angry, but she still desperately suppressed this impulse, and said to her, "Now you clean up with your mother." Later, I asked her why she had to do so. She whispered, "I want to help my mother do housework, and I want to rush milk myself."

After listening, I was glad that I did not blame her. Although the milk powder is sprinkled, how slightly compared with her beautiful and simple wish!

▶ Expert comment:

As a complete and independent person, children will have their own unique ideas and practices in the face of things around. Adults should return the right to the child to say "no", control their mouth, think about problems from the perspective of the child, understand the problem, understand The hidden love behind the word "no", being a parent who can listen to the children's "words" is the love for children.

Case 14: When the child does not say hello to others

When her daughter just learned to speak, her mouth was very sweet and liked to call people, but I did n’t know when it started, the golden mouth was difficult to open. I couldn't help urging her: "Good, ask Uncle and Auntie!" She didn't respond. I was a little embarrassed, and I was urged again, and I was still in a hurry, saying, "Baby, not polite", "no polite children are liked" and so on. After a few times, the effect was still not great, and the child seemed to be indifferent.

One day I was really angry, and finally used cold violence to treat her. When the child did not say hello to others, I walked forward and dried her behind. The child immediately caught up nervously, and I said angrily, "I don't like the rude child." The child cried, as if he was very wronged.

▶ Expert comment:

Being nervous and shy, cautious, behind the greeting, there must be children who do not feel expressive. Parents should not rush to criticize, do not blame public in public, let alone forced him, and respect the right to say that they do not say hello. You can give your child a step, for example: "I know you are a polite child, and sometimes you call someone in your heart (say hello), it is better if you can say it next time." You can also guide the child to use it Say, such as expressions, movements and other ways to say hello.

Case 15: It's not equivalent to yourself if it's not good.

I always love to praise the strong: "You are really smart!" But then I found that if Zhuangzhuang did not do one thing, he would be particularly irritable and crying. Some time ago, I bought him a new slide. He didn't slip at first, and he was very angry and simply not slippery. Later, I saw the difference between "praise children" and "encouraging children" and shocked you! ", I know that the impact of praise and encouragement on children is different.

He is often praised and the strong strength is often praised. When you encounter frustration, you can't accept your failure, afraid that others will say that you are not smart enough. After understanding this, I never praised him again, but described and encouraged his efforts, such as: "Dad sees your efforts of this semester, proud of you! Come on!" ▶ Expert comment:

Children's recognition of themselves is over -dependent on external evaluations. Children will think that it is not good enough to do not do well. Appreciating the active study of this parent and discovered different encouragement and praise. Parents' evaluation of their children should be concentrated in what he does rather than personality (such as clever). When the child is not doing well enough, parents can encourage the child to say, "Although you have not done this, you are OK!"

Case 16: "You can do it!" And "You can't!"

You can

Mom: "Xuan Xuan, help my mother doing things today, okay?"

Xuan Tsai: "Okay, I like to do things the most."

Mom: "Then let's wash the dishes today."

Xuan Tsai: "Okay, I like to wash the dishes the most."

Xuan Tsai: "Mom, I want to wash bubbles (detergent)."

Mom: "Mom washed the bubbles today, you have been to the water, and the next time you turn your bubbles, your mother has come to the water, okay?"

Xuan Tsai: "Okay! I will wash it well!"

Mom: "Yes! You can do it!"

you will not! Intersection

A few days ago, I bought a pair of shoes for my child. As soon as I was in bed on Saturday morning, I saw the child brushing shoes on my own. I still saw the child brushing shoes for the first time!

Mom: "Why do you brush your shoes yourself? Let me brush it! How can you brush it clean?"

Child: "No, I like these shoes, I want to clean it myself!"

Mom: "You won't, you have never brushed your shoes, it is not clean. At that time, I have to spend again."

▶ Expert comment:

Children need to experience the psychological nutrition of growth by experiencing "how much can I do". They need to experience more to do, some can do or do well! The more you do, the more self -confidence you get! The younger the child, the more likely it is implied by the language of the parents. When the parents say "you can't" to the child, the child thinks that he really can't, and then give up trying!

Case 17: Tong Yan Tongyu

Nuo Nuo: A mother is not enough, go to the supermarket to buy another one back. Buy a mother who can tell stories, a mother who can do games, and a mother who can sing and dance.

再: Grandma, you regenerate a dad! One to work, one to play with me, or regenerate a mother!

S point: Mom, I don't want to eat anything, I want to be with you! "

▶ Expert comment:

Whether it is "buying a mother" or "regeneration of a mother", it is the inner shout of children's lack of emotional lack due to insufficient parental company. Parents' companionship and care are important sources of mental security. All children who have sufficient and high -quality companionship in their childhood will be emotional, stable, happy, and dare to explore. Love him, let's accompany him!

Case 18: Locking love

Last year, a girl was transferred to our class. I observed that she always had no eyes, very shy, and rarely took the initiative to play with children, and rarely talked. In fact, I can see that the girl still likes to play with her friends very much, and she laughs even her eyes. Through communication with parents, I learned that parents often locked girls in the house because they were too busy doing business!

Parents also buy a lot of toys and picture books for their children, but is love just to meet the material needs of children?

▶ Expert comment:

Companion is the child's greatest desire for love. Parents in society today have been occupied by work and career for many times, leaving very few for family and children, so they often meet their children's material needs to compensate for their children. It is the lack of "companionship" that seriously affects the child's communication ability and language expression ability, and the fear and anxiety that will be lingering in her heart in the future. Locking a door, also isolation of parent -child love, love becomes pale and weak.

Case 19: There is no obstacle on the road to explore

One day on the weekend, I found an old small cake box on the balcony, which was filled with liquid in the box, with clear layers. The top layer is golden yellow, the middle layer is transparent, and the lower layer is turbid. Needless to say, it is known that the child must be experimenting.

My first reaction is that I feel that this three -layer box looks pretty, and the second reaction is to feel a bit wasteful. I asked the child what did this do? How can good ground oil and starch be put into the water? The child said that he wanted to freeze the color with color, so he put white starch and golden oil in the water. I see!

The child is a explorer who is curious and likes to operate. He must have inspired and promoted what he must have been inspired by this kind of wonder. He repeatedly tested and had a strong interest in blending liquid. In addition to being surprised by his active exploration and attempts, what made me feel guilty and reflected is that while accusing the children of "waste", I did not really respect and encourage his exploration.

▶ Expert comment:

In the child's world, all living materials serve his games and explorations; whether it is beautiful and wasteful, it is paid by parents, but it is not important for children. Caring for children's curiosity and encouragement exploration are the best support for children.

Case 20: In the world of respecting and love, all children of all graffiti love graffiti, and it is no exception! At first, she only painted on the painting board. Later, she found that she could paint on the wall, so that the furniture, fishing tanks, clothes, electrical appliances, and boxes were not spared! I always find out that there are a few more strokes here, and I drew a ball there. There are traces like tornado and wool groups everywhere. Although it looks messy at a glance, if you appreciate it carefully, you will find the fun and beauty in it!

Later, I agreed with Du Duo to divide the area where the graffiti could be graffiti. The restaurant area and the TV background wall belong to my sister. The background wall and study of the sofa are her chassis. Everyone can only draw in her own area. Duo Duo firmly remembered this agreement. Since then, Duoduo has painted in his own area. When you have time, you can draw a few strokes. Unconsciously, the whole wall is almost full!

Later, I opened a wall in the bedroom to her, and she often murmured the story she painted while painting. Although every time you talk, there may be new discoveries. This is the maze created by the daughter. She returned from the kindergarten every day and she would go up and add a few ways. Such a strong performance surprised me!

Unconsciously, Duo Duo showed his feelings and thoughts with a brush, which not only enriched her heart, but also beautified our home and pleasant to our mood. Every day I watch her quietly dedicated to graffiti on the wall, there is always a kind of movement in my heart ...

▶ Expert comment:

There is no word "love", but I see strong love and appreciation from the heart. It continues to flow from the graphic. Full of freedom and moderate rules, children can exert their potential only in a world full of respect and security and create wonderful. If you are still preventing children's graffiti, then you are likely to kill a genius!

Case 21: Voyager in the eyes of love

When I am almost 2 years old, I like to twist my body, like dancing. So we installed a mirror wall for him to make his "dance more fun". Unexpectedly, the non -sticky paper caused his interest, and he wanted to put the non -sticky paper on the mirror. He picked up the paper with one hand and held the paper with the other hand. More and more paper was pressed, but without paying attention, the paper slid down from his hand. This is his first inquiry attempt. Paper accidentally fell on the stick line and "pasted" on the mirror, so he started his second inquiry attempt. Then he found that the paper could be stuck in the gap between the mirror, and he started the third inquiry.

At the age of 2, he has such a strong concentration and desire for exploration!

The fourth inquiry attempts have taken some subtle changes. After repeated friction of the paper, the paper produced static electricity, and some paper was really posted on the mirror as he wished. Dangdang was excited. I hit half a bowl of water and started the fifth inquiry with Dangdang. I picked up the paper and dipped it on the mirror. Dangdang found the new continent, imitated and fiddled, and realized his own wishes. Dad folded a small boat with a small piece of paper, stained water on the mirror on the bottom of the boat, and slowly went downstream to the boat, and the son patted his little hand excitedly.

Discover and share with your children and share the novelty, interesting things or phenomena around, and find the process of finding the answer to the question is so happy. We need to tolerate the behavior of the child's dirty, chaotic, or even destroying items because of the inquiry. And encourage children's exploration behavior.

▶ Expert comment:

The warm and harmonious and childlike picture shows not only the children's focus on continuous exploration, but also let us see the understanding, attention and support of parents. The actual power of the original creation lies in the sense of security of childhood. Parents are harbor and bases. In the eyes of love, children can sail!

Case 22: Choose happiness in unwillingness

On crowded buses. The little girl said, "Mom, why is this car so crowded!" Mom said, "This is a bus, there must be a lot of people." The little girl still asked: "Last time we took the bus, not also sitting on the bus. Is it? "Mom went on to say," Baby, can we stand in the car now that is not good? You can go home for a while to eat with his father. ! "The girl said with a smile," Yes, you can eat cake with his father at home! "The car continued to drive with the laughter of her mother and daughter. After a while, they were happy. They were happy.

▶ Expert comment:

Childhood is the critical period of personality formation. Children's mood will become a permanent psychological version like a film. Children in life will always look at us with pure eyes, use immature life records and storage of our behavior, and naturally reflect in the future life. Faced with a lot of unsatisfactory life, this mother pays attention to the positive attitude to influence and change the child's mood, so that children can learn to think positive thinking, and choose happiness in unwillingness. Children have a positive and peaceful attitude and have a happy life.

Case 23: Calm calm space of candy

Candy is a 3 -year -old and 4 -month -old child. She has the emotional state of all children at this age and her own ideas and language. Children of this age often do not know how to control the sudden strange emotions. So, the mother of my favorite baby thought about it, and had a good idea.

The "bang" door was opened sharply, and the candy rushed in with anger ... Mom said, "Baby, mother can see that you are very angry now, what do you want to say?" "No, no, I don't want it. "Mom stretched out his arms:" Come, mother hug! "Candy hid in her mother's arms. Mom said nothing, just patting the temper with a candy gently. Mom thought about it, and had a good idea ... Mom came to the study with candy, prepared paper and painting pen, and began to create a "emotional face map" that belonged to the candy. Candy is painted on the paper seriously, and her mother creates a map beside the candy. Mom said, "You can choose a place you like to stick this Facebook. When you have emotions, you can come here to calm down, or you can tell your mother which Facebook you choose. If you are willing to tell me, you can tell me to happen What do you have. It is not good to lose your temper, hurt yourself, and damage. "

"Let's give it a name? This place belongs only to the candy yourself." Candy said, "Call for calm space!" With her own "calm space", the candy seems to be so angry, she told her mother that she was her is the How to fall and stain your favorite toy bear "cloth".

▶ Expert comment:

We feel the strong love, deep understanding and wisdom of candy mother. Faced with the sudden negative emotions of the child, the mother did not blame and stop it, but instead used a kind inquiry and hug to make the child feel that his emotions were valued, accepted, and understood, and the emotions were vented, soothe and transformed. What's more valuable is that through the establishment of the Facebook map, the mother helps children learn to identify and accept her different emotions in the process of expressing emotions. Studies have found that when the child's emotions are correctly identified and expressed, the child's emotional strength will decrease by 20-40%!

Case 24: Mom will hurt too

The 2 -year -old Doudou hit my eyes inadvertently, and he ran to play as if he had nothing to do with it. I can't calm down. Usually, if I accidentally bump the child, I will apologize to him, but I bump but always say that it is okay to the child. My mother does not hurt. Will the child feel that the mother will not hurt and does not need to care?

So, I pulled his hand and said in an indifferent eye: Mom's eyes hurt, if you rub it for me, I will be very comfortable. "Doudou listened carefully and helped me rub, and asked," Does it still hurt? " "I said with a smile: a lot, thank you!" The child's eyes lit instantly, showing a excited smile. When he cared about others, the child was also happy.

This incident touched me deeply. I have always thought that maternal love is selfless and does not ask for rewards, but I ignore children to learn to love. It is necessary to let children know that "love" is mutual, and the mother needs the child's care.

▶ Expert comment:

Parents' love for children has always been considered should be, and is accustomed to it, but rarely can reasonably think of children who need to pay love while accepting love. There is no compulsory here. There is only a simple description: "If you rub it for me, I will be very comfortable." The feeling of attracting the child's attention to himself is concerned about the feelings of others. The empathy is the beginning of love. At the same time as hard work, please don't forget to say to the child, "Mom will hurt too!"

Case 25: Mirror

One day, my child and my grandmother quarreled because of a trivial matter, and my grandma cried. After seeing the daughter, she quickly wiped her grandmother, and said comfortably, "Grandma, I will raise you in the future, Dad is not a good child!" She also shouted at me: "You are not a good boy, I ignore you!" Wow crying. Then I realized: I hurt my mother who worked hard for my family, and also hurt my cute daughter. I immediately apologized to my mother and apologized to my daughter.

After a while, I set up a building block with my daughter, but I was about to succeed but I accidentally knocked down. She shouted at me angrily: "You go away!" He slapped me with his hand. I was stunned, but I still asked her: "How do you hit Dad?" "You said that grandma just said, crying my grandma!" I felt very uncomfortable. My daughter was sad to see me, and ran over and touched me again: "Dad, I'm sorry!"

My words and deeds not only directly affect the emotional relationship between me and my family, but also affect my daughter's words and deeds. She was like a mirror, reflecting my problem!

▶ Expert comment:

Education is more important than words. Children's words and deeds are deeply influenced by parents and families. In the case, the daughter's care for grandma, dissatisfaction and blame for Dad made her aware of her rude words and deeds not only hurting grandma, but also her daughter. When you find that your children have bad words and deeds, don't rush to criticize the child, but look up more from themselves, correct and improve their own problems, and set a good example for the child.

Case 26: When the child can't afford it

Every night, my child and my dad will play games with the child, set up blocks and puzzles, and sometimes use the competition method, because the child is more enthusiastic and can also cultivate his awareness of competition. In general, we will deliberately show weakness and let the children win, so that he is more confident and bold. Every time he won, he was particularly fulfilled.

But one time, the child played the ball game with his dad, and the child won twice. Later, when he played again, his father did not let him, but he lost. Once you lose your mood, you will not be patient when you lose twice. When you lose to the third time, you start to cry. At this time, I realized that my child had long been used to victory and could not bear the failure. But how could it be unbeaten in real life? Is my love biased, and it is not a positive and optimistic personality to bring children?

▶ Expert comment:

The false victory does not really bring confidence. Focusing on interest exploration, tolerating frustration, overcome difficulties, solve problems, and share success in the game process is the real sense of accomplishment.

Case 27: Fighting "Rough Exit"

My son always knew politeness, but once he had to buy toys, I didn't agree. He threw out a swear words "X!" I asked him who he learned with anger. He just didn't say, I had to work hard to control the emotions and transfer the topic.

After returning home, he ate sweet potatoes with his son. He said politely: "Thank you mother for eating sweet potatoes." I seized this opportunity. First of all, he was sure that he was a polite child, and then communicated with him. Essence Who knows that his son said straightforwardly: "But Dad and Grandpa said that my mother is not angry." I realized that my son's root cause of the rough mouth, how important the parents' words and deeds have on the child!

I asked him to be a "civilized language supervisor" at home and discovered who would stop who said rough. Since then, his son no longer talks about it, and Grandpa and Dad under his supervision have also begun to pay attention to his words and deeds. I am glad that I have no rough scolding and stiff punishment, but built a rainbow bridge that accompanies children to grow up healthy and not to be stubborn, soft but not impatient.

▶ Expert comment:

Children who speak swear words are often out of the fun and unconscious imitation behavior. Parents control their emotions in time, and cleverly use positive guidance such as transferring topics, timely affirmation, clarifying the cause, communication experience, and giving a sense of responsibility to turn "confrontation" into One "guidance". What's more valuable is that after listening to the child's voice and finding the root cause of the problem, parents and their children have advanced with the Chinese Communist Party in equality.

Case 28: Awakening of Love

The little leopard is a boy who is just 2 and a half years old, and the home of the family is a very common dinner time. There is a very delicious braised meat in dinner.

Mom: Little Leopard, such delicious things, give you a taste.

The little leopard looked at the underground and the table and said: No, you can't eat it for parents now.

Mom: Why?

Little Leopard: The ground and the table were not dropped. Only when it fell on the ground, it was given to the parents.

After listening to this conversation, the whole family's heart trembled, and the air suddenly solidified. Only the little leopard ate like usual.

▶ Expert comment:

I was very moved and appreciated the parent's reflection, and he was actually inviting all parents to reflect. The children's "exclusive" food, parents eat it under the table. Obviously, in the eyes of children, parents should love me like this. Many parents sometimes love their children to lose themselves. Psychologically mature personality requires parents to demonstrate "I love you, I love myself too!" "You are very important for children, and I am also very important!" So that children will learn complete and mature love!

Case 29: Children who love to say "I can't"

There is a child in our class. No matter what you do, you will say "I won't", and then wait for the teacher to solve it. Wearing socks, "I can't"; buckle, "I can't"; eat, he twisted his head aside, or "I can't"; when the child is activity, he sat there without participating. "At the beginning of this year, I asked each child to talk about what they did during the Chinese New Year. Said, the sentence "I can't."

By understanding, it is found that the child's excessive dependence and unconfident performance is mainly because he has been done by his parents. As long as "I want" and "I can't" be satisfied.

▶ Expert comment:

This is a child who has been deprived of growth ability by parents! Parents' replacement can cause children to meet the needs as long as they say "I can't". This actually reflects the child's "symptoms benefit" psychology, that is, if the appearance of a behavioral symptoms can always be benefited, then the symptoms of this behavior will always appear! To make the child change the state of "I can't", parents must change, let the child do more, and sometimes you can also use some guidance words: "If the child will, you will ... (describe a child after learning What kind of picture will be) "" You can't, you can learn (do it) now! "

Case 30: "No" for children's improper shopping requirements

When his son was in the first grade of elementary school, the Bang Wan little was hit, and his son collected almost all types of explosion pills, but he still saw a must -buy. One day, on the way home from school, his son saw a variety of explosion pills on the roadside stalls. He didn't leave. In the end, I still insisted not to buy, and my son cried straight.

After dinner, I said to my son, "You see, there are many good things in the world, including fun toys and beautiful clothes, but we can't all have it. Sometimes I like it. Just look at it. Just like my mother looked at a expensive clothes, of course I would not buy a month's salary, but I could appreciate it. "At this time, the son had already figured it out. Later, when I bought something, my son was more rational and there was no similar situation. ▶ Expert comment:

For the unreasonable material requirements put forward by the child, parents should reasonably analyze that if it is the child's hobbies, it should be rationally guided like the parent; if the child is asking for "love" to the parents through buying things, the parents should tell the child: "I didn't buy it for you, but I also love you. I tell you stories, accompany you to play, and make good food for you! There are many ways I love you, not just through Buy you gifts! "

Case 31: After the child falls

I often see in life: When children are playing or walking, they accidentally encounter something. Children cry. Parents will coax the child while raising the "perpetrator" in order to comfort the child. It hurts the child and made a "revenge" to the child ...

In my opinion, this "love" of parents for children is a "revenge behavior". It teaches children to blame or retaliate against others when not happy or hurt. Imagine: If it wasn't for a table and chair, but when others met their children, would they "retaliate"? Parents may think that "I didn't teach him to fight?" But in the eyes of the child, the attitude towards a bench is the same as a person's attitude. This kind of "love" wrong education actually inadvertently let him learn how to learn how to do it. Treat people and things that are unhappy.

▶ Expert comment:

When the child falls, parents must first accept and soothe the child's emotions. They can hug the child first, comfort the child with a soft voice, and do not anger the item in order to please the child or divert the child. Responsible for your own behavior and emotions, this is the true education of love!

Case 32: Mom, do you don't like me?

Once, I took my 5 -year -old daughter to buy fruits. She followed me and picked the fruits. The boss praised: "Your baby is really beautiful and capable, so I will help my mother busy." Hearing the boss's words , I have a good heart, but I say, "How can I have a peeling at home." Such a conversation is normal for adults, but I did not expect to return to the car. Why do you always deny that when others praise me? Do you don't like me? "Listening to my daughter said that, my head was" hummed "instantly!

If my answer is: "Yes, my baby often helps me do housework at home." Hearing such an answer can not only make my daughter feel the affirmation of her mother, but also be encouraged from the discourse. What a thing, why not do it!

▶ Expert comment:

When you politely respond to others' praise for your child, do you think that the child has been hurt? Four or five -year -old children are in the critical period of "self -identity". Children will pay special attention to "I do?" "Do you like me?" The child's sense of self -worth requires parents to maintain and improve! This parent can reflect on and find a way in time, how fortunate it is to the child!

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