How to express "I understand you"?Listening trilogy ｜ Autologous Psychology

Warm, listening, acceptance, convergence ...

These beautiful concepts are fully expressed in autologous psychology. Self -psychology emphasizes that in an equal dialogue relationship, explore self and heal themselves. Promote.

Listening must be the basic skills of psychological counselor treatment. It is as important as the surgeon's operating knife. If you don't listen, why talk about healing?

So how does listening among the well -known subject theory play a role?

01

Does the visitors know you listening to him?

During the consultation and communication, the visitors told that you nodded frequently, but did he really think you were listening? And what do you understand? These are completely different in the cognition of both sides.

Visitors think that you are not listening to you and you think you are listening to these two things, so listening is always a process of double yuan. It is not a unit of the unit.

for example:

A visitor asked the consultant for help. The consultant said that I think you are really sympathetic. It ’s really pitiful. Slowly, the visitors are no longer willing to consult with this consultant.

Why is this?

Because in this process, the visitors felt that in this consultation process, they did not hear it completely. This consultant only heard a part of him. This visitor came with a wish for help. He hoped that the consultant would Can hear him and understand him at the same time.

But when this consultant heard the visitor’s story, the tears slammed down, and when the visitors saw the tears of the consultant rolling, I wondered if I was too heavy. Will I hurt if I would hurt? you? So this visitor began to retreat, he didn't dare.

The consultant is most afraid of being dropped into his own emotions, so that he can no longer hear the real appeal of the visitor, and the state of listening at this moment is completely broken.

In addition, many consultants will make such a mistake. The center of the process of listening to the center of the process is guessing the personal privacy of the visitors, or listening to the heart, thinking about his maternal and baby relationship.

In fact, when your heart is constructed like this, the consistency of you and the visitor listening is also destroyed.

The more experienced consultants, the more unwilling to assume how the visitor is.

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