Dr. 42 -year -old requires the other half of the year to enter 3 million: this young man, why is it so difficult to find a target

Today is the 3220th of the intensive reading Jun to accompany you for life -long growth

01

In recent years, discussions on single have been active on various platforms.

The topic of "China Over 200 million Singles" has also been searched.

Many young people were forced to participate in the routine marriage conference at home as soon as they returned to their hometown on their holidays.

People can't help but be emotional: Why is it so difficult to find an object in this session?

I saw a blind date on the Internet not long ago, and I seemed to find the answer.

A 42 -year -old unmarried female doctor hopes that the other half of the age will not be more than 3 years older than themselves; the annual salary is at least 3 million, there must be a house in Beijing, and the house is at least 180 square meters, and there must be a car; You can also get married, but you can't have children.

A man who helped a friend's blind date asked: "My friend is also a doctor of returnees, with the same age, an annual salary of about 1 million, can I do it?"

She said that the annual salary is 1 million.

Others asked her, you are so old that you are so old, and you want to lower it a little?

Dr. Female replied: "I have been boiled at this year, and I can't draw anymore."

Many people think that the reason why a female doctor has not found the object is that the problem is that they do not face their own age. If they have an annual salary of 3 million, isn't it fragrant to find a 22 -year -old girl? Why do you want you as a middle -aged woman?

But in my opinion, age is not the main factor, but her mentality, which is too common.

Regardless of the relationship or life, many people have such a subconscious, that is, they feel that they have invested too much. The life that they insist that they are not allowed to change a bit of deviation.

for example:

"I used to reject a person because of a different place, so no matter how good the other party is to me, I don't talk about a long -distance relationship." "Hit the job?" "After all the offshore system, even if the salary is low, I will never resign."

In the words of self -media authors, this type of person is accustomed to investing in their opportunities as an investment.

You think this is increasing your opportunity cost, so he gives up the current opportunity.

But in fact, the increase in this opportunity cost does not mean that there will be better opportunities in the future.

Because you don't know, what will happen in the future if you continue to live like this.

02

In the intensive reading Dictionary, there is such a story in the entry of "734: The theory of Mai Sui":

2500 years ago, three students asked a question of philosopher Socrates: How can I find the ideal life partner?

Socrates took the students and came to a piece of wheat field and said, "You walk into the wheat field, don't look back all the time, pick one on the way, you can only pick one branch, the largest wheat ears."

The first student entered the wheat field. He soon saw a big and beautiful wheat ears, so he was glad to take off the ears of the wheat. However, when he continued to go forward, he found that there were a lot of wheat ears, which was much larger than the one he picked. He regretted that he had started early, so he had to regret going to the whole process.

The second student learns lessons. Whenever he wants to pick, he always reminds himself that there is better later. Unconsciously, he walked to the end, but he didn't pick a wheat ears. He also regretted that he did not seize the opportunity. He always felt that there was a bigger one, and finally missed the world.

The third student learns the lessons of the previous two. When he divided the wheat fields into three sections, when he walked through the first wheat field, he could not get his hands.

When passing through the second paragraph, he only observed that he couldn't get started and verified whether the first paragraph was correct; when he walked to the third paragraph, that is, one third in the last third, he took off the first one he encountered, belonging to the large category The wheat ears. This may not be the biggest, but he walked the whole process with satisfaction.

The 42 -year -old doctor's blind date, similar to the second student in this story, adopts the "perfectionist" decision -making method, always thinking that there are larger and better wheat ears.

Indeed, if I continue to wait, she may wait for her Ruyi Langjun. After all, her classmates who were studying with her also graduated from Dr. Sea Return, so her circle must also have Dr. returnees.

But it is more likely that when these classmates have no annual salary of 3 million, they have already established a business. When other conditions meet the female doctoral standards, their children are in elementary school.

Therefore, when choosing, we must break the "optimal decision -making" obsession and pursue satisfaction rather than optimizing.

If you think about everything in the future, you will lose.

Because of the opportunity, it will always be hidden in uncertainty.

03

The decision -making method extended by the theory of wheat ears is: first observe, then set the standard, and then choose, follow the principle of "not seeking the best, but seeking better".

Just like the third student in the story:

First observe that in the first third of the wheat field, you can only see it. By fixed, determine the standard in the second third of the wheat field. After the selection, one third in the wheat field is picking up as soon as possible.

So, what is the "better" decision method for the 42 -year -old female doctor?

The author of "Guiding Life" author Brian Christine and Tom Griffith, proposed 2 steps of satisfactory decision -making method:

Step 1: Use 37%to determine the "basic satisfaction standard".

The second step is to select the first plan of the "Basic Satisfaction Standard" at 63%.

For example, if a person intends to find an ideal life partner between 20-40 years old. If you adopt a 2 -step method and use 37%to find the basic satisfaction standard, it will take 20 years*37%= 7.4 years.

That is, around the age of 28, it is determined that the basic satisfaction standard is determined. Then if a heterosexuality meets this standard, it will enter the marriage hall and no longer continue to find.

Of course, we can also be more flexible, not necessarily time, and other standards such as times to make decisions.

For example, if you want to decide whether to get married after contacting 50 people, you can determine the basic satisfaction standard after contacting 50**37%= 18.5, that is, the 19th person. As long as you are better than this standard, you can determine whether you get married if you get married. Essence

However, 37%and 63%here are just a reference probability, and you can also set this probability based on your own situation.

If you can determine your basic satisfaction standard earlier, you can also make decisions in accordance with your own personality schedule.

04

Many girls always like to come up with the standard of idol dramas when choosing a spouse for the first time.

But if you have a general understanding of the men you can contact, you will find that finding an object according to such standards is to die.

The blogger@博 博 博 博 once shared a point of view: boys with an annual income of more than 350,000 or more in the height of 170 are fragrant.

Seeing such a mate selection criteria, do you feel that the requirements are too low?

This mate selection criteria is the 96 -year -old local girl selection criterion.

According to bloggers, this girl is a compiled elementary school teacher. She has more than 1W a month, and she looks beautiful.

The little girl also said that if she couldn't find it, the request could be appropriately reduced.

The blogger was stunned, and she felt that the other party was a local girl, and the request was too low.

But then she found out that the girl's request was really not low.

In 2020, the National New Office released a data: an adult man aged 18-44, with an average height of 169.7 cm.

In other words, men over 170 or more in China are about 50%.

In 2020, the average salary of Shenzhen was less than 1.1W.

And this is just average, most people have not even reached this number.

The annual salary of 35W means more than three times the average salary.

In other words, only 10%of people across the country can reach a monthly salary of more than 10,000 yuan; at the same time, men who meet the girls with an annual salary of 35W+170 are the probability of 2.6%in China.

Therefore, men who have a annual salary of one million and more than 180 are purely survivors in idol dramas.

Why do we guide us in the "2 Step Satisfaction Decisions" and spend a certain probability of time to determine the standard when choosing a mate?

It is because the standard cannot be opened, and it must be determined according to the actual situation.

Some people say: Mature people must know how to accept only 60 points.

After all, there is no "perfect" choice in this world, and even the "best" decision that has not been verified.

If you have 80 points, you can face more than 60 points, and you can even occupy the dominant power, but if you only have 60 points, you ask the other party to have 90 points, which will not be over.

So, if you do not have the quality of the heroine of the idol drama, please do not find a man in an idol drama.

Do not consume years in the process of finding the optimal solution, and boil yourself until he is old.

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