Never think of the human relationship too heavy

Author: insight · Su Mo

The world is often familiar, and the human feelings are mostly defeated.

"Zeng Guangxianwen" has a saying: There are money and wine brothers with money.

Time knows people, and it is hard to know.

After experiencing square understanding, human hearts are like sea, love is as thin as paper.

Don't see too much humanity, it is a person's greatest maturity and self -knowledge.

01

The overestimation of the relationship will only be disappointed. Bai Juyi once sighed: "It is difficult to walk, not in the water, not in the mountains, but only in the repeated human feelings."

Freditate is not human, cool and humane.

Over -high, it is estimated that your position in the opponent's heart will only be stabbed by real cold.

In the TV series "The Family of the Golden Fan", when the Jin family was prosperous, the young master Yanxi gathered a buddy buddy, and he responded.

He treated the best friend Liu Baoshan, and he was even a knife.

When Liu Baoshan was arrested for the offender, Yanxi took the risk of causing his own crisis, spent 50,000 yuan, and redeemed his friends back.

However, when the Jin family loses and Yanxi is looking for help, those so -called brothers have long been disappeared.

At this time, he thought of Liu Baoshan, the old friend he had done his best to help, so he looked forward to looking forward to it.

As a result, Liu Baoshan pushed away, perfunctory, and even refused him.

"Historical Records" has a saying: "One life is a life, which is intertwined; one poor and one rich is a knowledge;

After the matter, Fang looked at the truth; once it was difficult, Fang looked through people's hearts.

Someone once asked Mr. Ji Xianlin, what is the biggest understanding in his life course for more than 80 years?

He sighed: "The world is cold, so ancient and modern."

He was always unforgettable. He was really blunt because of the rate and offended a big man.

The person who had been respectful to him immediately regarded him as a passerby, and no one talked to him.

For a few years, he became a "non -contact person" in Yanyuan.

The ridiculous thing is that when his official recovered position, everyone suddenly embraced it, and from Mendakoque to the guest Yingmen again.

There is a saying in "Cai Gen Tan": "Hunger is attached, it is full, and it is trending, cold is abandoned, and human feelings are all overwhelmed."

There are too many relationships in this world to gather due to profit, and the advantages are scattered.

As the so -called, the world is often familiar, and the human feelings are mostly defeated.

If you do n’t take estimate, do n’t underestimate the people ’s heart, you will not be disappointed.

02

Relying on human feelings is a disaster. There is such a sentence in "Fatal Human Benefits": "Human sentiment is the sword of the way, and it is also a cocoon of self -binding."

Through human feelings, you may be able to copy and take shortcuts, but others will naturally take it away, and what you get easily will easily lose.

In "Siege", after Fang Hongjian, who was studying out of the country, returned to China, in the war era that was difficult to get in the sky, he obtained the first job through his father -in -law and was a job at the father -in -law's house.

He thought he could be at ease of care, but he did not expect that the next day was even more embarrassing and difficult.

Not only do you look at the face of the person every day, but also to endure the strangeness of his mother -in -law from time to time, knocking outside the words:

"Eat my Zhou family's meal, live in the Zhou family's house, earn my money from the Zhou family, and don't want to think of the Zhou family, who will see you!"

In the end, he was swept out because of his mother -in -law's mood.

Fang Hongjian's second job was introduced by his friend Zhao Xinxuan. He taught at a university and the principal saw him a associate professor on Zhao Xinyi's face.

In less than a year, Fang Hongjian, who had no ink, left the front foot of the "umbrella" because of his friend, and then kicked the back foot.

Liu Tong said: "Don't pin your hope on others. Whether it is emotional or work, otherwise the only result is to be caught off guard."

Excessive dependence on others will only cause yourself to fall in a passive situation, thus being subject to others.

In this life, he will go down by mountains and mountains.

When the petroleum tycoon Rockefeller once played with the child, he encouraged the child to jump down from the table, and opened his arms and motioned to catch him.

But when the child jumped down, Rockefeller did not pick up, and the child fell to the ground.

He squatted down solemnly at the crying child and took the first lesson in his life.

He said: "You must remember that everything must be rely on yourself, don't expect others, others can't stand it."

03

The "Social Exchange Theory" says that the most essential hidden logic of human relationships is that there must be equal value exchange.

If you do not have the value that you can graph and you have no resources that can be exchanged with the other party, you spend more care to take care of the human affairs, and in the end it is just self -provoking.

Youcore founder Wang Shimin talked about his wife.

During his wife, a classmate in the same class was enthusiastic about human relationships, so he spent most of his time social.

After three years, he did have a good relationship with his classmates and professors.

However, when a graduation response to his papers, no one took the initiative to help him.

In the end, he had to repair it for a year.

However, his wife had no heart, and spent time and energy on her deep cultivation. During this period, she achieved well -performed and had good professional ability.

When her graduation thesis was wrong, everyone came to help.

The ability is 1, and the relationship is 0.

If your ability is not good, even if you have a lot of relationships, you will work hard to please, and you will not get the true recognition and respect of everyone.As Tu Yu said:

"Friends who make people are temporarily temporarily, enriching themselves are always more powerful than please others."

Therefore, instead of excessive consumption of yourself, it is better to do things and focus on improving yourself.

When you are excellent enough, someone will come to you naturally.

▽

I especially like a sentence in "My First Half Life":

"No one will become our eternal shelter, and only ourselves are their own shelter."

The ultimateness of others will be disappointed, and the ability to hold in my hand is the real sense of security.

Like a praise, from today, don't expect, don't please, and strive to improve yourself.

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