After the child lost the college entrance examination, a father's reflection ...

The son was very unsatisfactory after the college entrance examination results came out this year. After a period of reflection and exchanges, the family gradually relieved from disappointment, worry and anxiety. This liberation is not the helplessness and compromise in the face of reality, but the soberness after re -examining the child's study and growth process, and the determination of the future direction after a conversation with the children.

In the process of difficult reflection, there was a torture from the soul in my mind: "The child's college entrance examination is not good, does it indicate that there is a problem with my family education concept? Does it mean the failure of our family education?" In the opposite side, I tried to keep myself a objective and rational thinking in the sense of frustration, and gradually rationalized some clues, hoping to bring some inspiration to those parents who had the same confusion as me.

Children's college entrance examination results are not ideal

It does not mean the failure of family education

Children's college entrance examination results are not ideal or even bad. It can only be said that it is an important setback on the child's growth, but it does not represent the failure of family education. Those who have such ideas may be influenced by the theory of only achievements and the idea of ​​"one handsome and ugly", which is precisely a prejudice and misunderstanding of family education. It is unscientific and unfair to measure the success or failure of family education with a single evaluation indicator.

The reason why children do not take good exams are often many aspects, and parents should have objective thinking and summary of this. Learning is a long -term accumulation process. The end of the college entrance examination does not mean the end of the child's learning career. He still has a long way to go in the future. Therefore, no matter what the children's college entrance examination grades, parents should observe and reflect on whether the child behind the grades has a real learning internal driving force. This is the core competitiveness that determines whether the child can go farther and more stable.

Children in today's era are facing a complex growth environment, and most of them have not experienced the lack of material life, and they are prone to lack of learning motivation. For parents, how to cultivate children's learning motivation and hard work of self -discipline is a greater challenge, and it also needs to be paid attention to in family education.

Parents should avoid two misunderstandings. One is to compare their children and those so -called "learning hegers" children to combat their self -confidence. The characteristics and growth paths of each child are different and cannot be imitated and copied. The second is to force the child to learn from the outside through high -pressure control and punishment. This may obtain a phased high score or a good college entrance examination score, but the hidden cost and cost of their efforts are also huge. Leave the shadow of the child's mind and kill the parent -child relationship.

High school stage

Pay attention to children's learning

It should also pay attention to the cultivation of values

Because of the pressure of the college entrance examination, some parents often only pay attention to their children's academic performance and ignore the child's character training and comprehensive development. This is a commonly existed family education misunderstanding and a short -sighted behavior.

I have been engaged in education for more than 20 years, and I have become more and more clear about the tasks and mission of different sections. During the high school stage, learning is of course very important task, but with the enhancement of children's personal consciousness and independence consciousness, this stage is also a critical period for the gradual improvement of children's values ​​and personalized personality. The correct guidance of parents in this process is indispensable. of.

It can be said to be a simulation society in high school. Children will have a lot of attempts and changes at this stage. They will complete the transformation from the junior high school "how classmates say" to "what do I think". Relationships, how to balance the friendship of same -sex partners, how to control the scale of heterogeneity, and even learn how to self -adjust and compromise after violating discipline. In three years of high school, children will test each other in the day and night, and will continue to accumulate growth experience in trying and exploration.

If three years of high school, parents have only pushed their children in the heavy and monotonous learning because of the impact of utilitarian education thinking, deprive them of the opportunity to experience rich and complex life, do not pay attention to communication with their children, do not pay attention to cultivating them correctly Values ​​will inevitably laid a hidden danger for the growth of children. Even if the beautiful college entrance examination scores are obtained, it does not mean that the education of children is successful, but it may temporarily cover the child's problems. This is one of the reasons why there are many "lying people" and "hollow disease patients" in the university. Therefore, even in the intense high school stage, parents should not only stare at their children's learning, but should focus on the perspective of life -long development and pay attention to the cultivation of children's values ​​and improvement of personality.

Lost college entrance examination to children

Is a setback

It is also an opportunity for growth

Although the failure of my son's college entrance examination has inevitably affected the mood of our family, this does not erase the child's growth in the past few years. The son has many advantages worth seeing. For example, the son is grateful. He knows that his father has paid for the hard work of the family, and also knows how to protect the mother's weakness. He will often care about the health of his ancestors. Share the school's interesting things and his mood; he is very affectionate and cares about the friendship between his classmates; he can also objectively analyze and understand his shortcomings.

The failure of the college entrance examination is definitely a big blow and setback for the child, but from another perspective, it is also his growth opportunity to make the child's life more abundant and tough. As a father, I realized that at this time, it was better to give the child a little time and space to analyze the cause of the failure or discuss the future of the future. Experience. When a child is in a daze, don't bother him, maybe this is an important moment when he builds his heart and know himself. Some of the unforgettable experiences of life are often the time for children to achieve real growth and transformation. Therefore, I think it is a good thing for children to think about and see life by themselves and make choices of their future life. Regardless of whether my son chose to repeat or apply for a high school, I would give him a gentle and firm support. Saon lost his horse, knowing not to be blessed. After the child's college entrance examination defeat, I also gave me unexpected feelings and gains. In the past, the seemingly weak wife seemed to see my low mood this time, but gave me a lot of comfort and concern, moved me, and let me see a harmonious and warm, supporting family in the child's growth path. How important it is.

Ten things are not weekly, so be careful not to demand. There is no eternal journey in life, and a happy family is not without regrets, but when it is difficult and challenging, the family members can let go of complaints and accusations, and they should be optimistic about each other. The example of life is also the durable momentum and precious wealth brought by the family's healthy growth.

Finally, I want to borrow and rewrite the two words in Su Dongpo's "Dingwu" to express my mood:

Summer wind blows wine to wake up, not cold, success or failure and meet each other.

Back to the growth path of Yuzi, calm, and also affectionate.

Source of this article ｜ China Education News July 31, 2022 Edition 04 "After the child's college entrance examination, a father's reflection"

Author of this article ｜ Qin Tao

Illustration design ｜ Wang Rongjia

Editor in charge ｜ Wang Jiashi

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