After many self -suicide, the son did not diagnose for 8 years!Parents are accused of "you have been raised by you ..." Millions of families have been troubled →

The son suddenly didn't want to go to school anymore.

Under all kinds of urging, the son still resisted to go out, and even couldn't even get up. Sheng Ming couldn't understand this kind of abnormality and slapped the child.

He did not expect that this slap became stimulus. When he urged again, his son took a knife and cut it on the door.

Later, Sheng Ming knew that this was not the rebellion and indulgence of adolescence, but the child was sick.

For the first time, he heard the name of the disease from the doctor: double -phase emotional disorder. The so -called bipolar is alternate or mixed with depression and mania.

Recently, a widely circulated video has pushed the name of this mental illness into the public vision. In the video, a ten -year -old boy was emotional, hissing, exhausting, and hurting someone with a knife. Parents standing on the side seemed helpless. Later, the child's mother explained in the owner's WeChat group that the child had "double -phase emotional disorders".

Sheng Ming watched the comments in the video in one way- "The child is used to break" "The parent is too failed." He can't help but feel heartache. "Such children are not fallen bad children, not subjectively to hurt people. They are just sick. I have in -depth exchanges and contacts with thousands of two -phase families over the years. Only very few patients with double -phase emotional disorders will have violence, and more patients will choose to self -harm or even commit suicide. "

Peng Daihui, director of the Mental State Disorders Department of the Shanghai Mental Health Center, also mentioned that there are many subtypes in both -phase emotional disorders, complex clinical manifestations, and the differences between individuals are very large. It cannot be faced and simplified by this disease.

According to an epidemiological survey in 2019, the lifelong prevalence of bipolar disorders in my country is 0.6%, which means that such patients have about 8 million in China, and this is also related to millions of families. Sheng Ming mentioned that in the long treatment rehabilitation after the child was ill, these families would encounter the condition that might fluctuate at any time, the stigma of the disease, and the feeling of lingering.

Diagnosis

At the beginning, Sheng Ming thought his son was just adolescent rebellion.

In the second day of the second day, the son of the school began to become extremely sensitive and conflict with his classmates. After returning home every weekend, he refused to return to school again.

In Shengming's life experience, it was the pain of his son's adolescence, and it would always pass by. It seems that the child quickly passed this hurdle and successfully admitted to the top high school experimental class. Everything is planned as Shengming: the son's grades are stable at the medium level. If there is no accident, the admission notice of a 985 college is almost nail.

However, in the second semester of high school, the disturbing signs appeared again: the son was frequent anxiety, it became difficult to fall asleep, and he couldn't get up in the morning. The wife "lurked" into the QQ group where the child was, and wanted to know what the son went to sleep. The trace of speeches left by the son in the group was shown at one or two in the morning, or even later.

My son's self -rescue is very conscious. I bought a few psychological books and tried to find out the reasons for his abnormalities. At the request of his son, Sheng Ming also found him a psychological counselor. If many of them were unable to speak to their parents, the son talked to the psychological counselor.

Despite doing a variety of efforts, many unexpected situations still appear: the child picked up the pen, but he couldn't write it; the child started to be afraid of the exam; Good results.

Afterwards, Sheng Ming recalled that the son's symptoms of these ups and downs are in line with the tenth edition (ICD-10) of the International Disease Category. Self -evaluation is too high; during depression, you will lose interest and joy, poor energy, occasional self -injury and suicide tendency.

But the family didn't understand at the time. At the psychiatric hospital in the city, his son was diagnosed with bilateral emotional disorders. Sheng Ming was afraid that the hospital's reputation was not enough, and he took his son to many hospitals across the country. Different professors and experts gave a number of different diagnosis results: depression strengthened, anxiety, marginal personality disorders, bipolar emotional disorders, etc.

The unsuccessful family decided to accept the diagnosis of "depression and strengthening" and adopted the corresponding treatment plan. However, children's emotions are becoming more and more unstable and severe symptoms. In the rental house, the child broke a pair of pair of chopsticks and disassembled the chair into a wooden stick. In the early morning of many sleeping eyes, the child stood in front of Sheng Ming's bed and asked his parents in horror, "What should I do?" But before Shengming had time to respond, the child smashed his teeth towards the couple, "You really don’t have use!"

Once again, the child was diagnosed with double -phase emotional disorders. After receiving this diagnosis, the child's emotional fluctuations gradually stabilized, and the turnaround began to appear.

The couple regretted walking around, but when they knew many families of patients with two -phase emotional disorders, they found that their own experiences were also the path that most patients had passed by.

Before being diagnosed as a bilateral emotional disorder, Liu Shu's son was diagnosed with depression and schizophrenia. He ate almost all antidepressants. They were rescued. In 2017, his son was diagnosed by a doctor to merge with two -phase emotional obstacles, and at this time, it had been 8 years since he had an emotional disorder for the first time.

Peng Daihui told reporters that the average time of bipolar disorders from the disease to the last diagnosis is 8-10 years, with an average age of onset of 25 years. For the diagnosis of double -phase emotional disorders, manic or irritability is a necessary condition. Very few patients showed depression and mania at the beginning of the disease. They were quickly diagnosed as dual -phase emotional disorders and could be used to medicine.

During the treatment, the amount of medicine is extremely complicated. Interviewee provided

For more symptoms, children who are not typical are first treated according to depression, anxiety and other treatment. After a period of treatment, they will develop irritability. The two states of depression and mania seem to be frequently changed, making the amount of medicines very complicated and particular, often leading to "pressing the gourd to float up the scoop".

During the long diagnosis and treatment, many children and parents had to face a realistic problem: as the condition worsened, the academic studies could not continue.

When the classmates concentrated on sprinting the college entrance examination, Sheng Ming and his son shuttled in major hospitals. One month before the college entrance examination, Sheng Ming and the child finally decided to abandon the college entrance examination.

Cause

At the beginning of the child's illness, why did Wu Qingning think about it, why did he suddenly get sick?

Three years ago, she was called to enter the clinic. From the doctor's mouth, she learned that her son had bought the tool to prepare for charcoal to commit suicide, and the tears fell in an instant.

She immediately set up a sophomore son, and took her children to a specialist hospital in Beijing, Shanghai, and Nanjing for medical treatment and found "over" -a depression and mutual assistance community and solution platform, and joined Family communities of patients with both emotional disorders. In 2018, "over" began to explore the support plan for young people in psychological dilemma. Wu Qingning, who entered the group, found that there were so many young people and families who were troubled by mental impairment. Essence

Parents began to find the cause after the child was diagnosed. Some parents suspected whether they had too little communication with their children, so that the children's grievances had nowhere to be released. Wu Qingning regretted that he had ignored the help signal sent by his son -he had proposed to change to a middle school. But Wu Qingning didn't care. Later, she learned that her son had suffered for a year of bullying for a year. "Why didn't I put such an important signal at my heart?"

Some parents reflected that the pressure on the child was too stressful, surpassing the child's tolerance, and the child was defeated in the end; but some parents firmly believed that this may be caused by genes. When I encountered some kind of excitement, I was ignited. "

Until now, the medical community cannot give the exact cause and mechanism of the incidence of bilateral emotional disorders.

In the eyes of parents, they are a group of smart and sensitive children, but because of a disease, they are in helplessness, anxiety, pain, and even embark on the road, dragging their families into the abyss.

Sheng Ming and his wife learned from scratch for their children. Sheng Ming continued to enter "double -phase emotional disorders" in the search box, and his wife copied all relevant knowledge and details. In several big notebooks, the children's emotions and behaviors every day are filled.

In the past year, the son was upside down day and night, and the symptoms of manicness appeared: the son began to intentionally confront his parents, refused to eat at home, drew off the meals, asked for a meal, late at night Pulling Shengming and his wife to watch his favorite anime one after another. When the husband and wife instinctively wanted to say "no", they pretended to be "good" at the same time!

The child couldn't sleep and wanted to go out. Sheng Ming accompanied his son to hang out. His thinking was rushing, and his interest described the color of the color in the sky. Many times, the father and son walked from 11 o'clock in the middle of the night to one or two in the morning. In the first few years of his son, Sheng Ming and his wife could sleep for three or four hours a day.

The son became extremely sensitive, even if the outsiders heard a normal sentence, it might have stabbed him. Sister cousin once ordered his son's sentence, "You have to be sensible", but the son felt that it was an insult to him, and many years could not be relieved.

Liu Shu mentioned that one day when she was not at home, a psychological counselor in the community came to do a free psychological counseling for her son, but the son ran out of the house that afternoon. Afterwards, Liu Shu realized that the reason was a sentence that the psychological counselor said to his son, "You have to make progress, you can't continue to grow old." Now, every time she speaks, she has to think about it, and she even feels that her son is sensitive to understanding the eyes and psychology of people around him. Every word related to him cannot be easily exported.

The feeling of fatigue will almost accompany the patient's whole course. Wu Qingning dragged his son out and walked out. As soon as he walked a few hundred meters, his son lay on her shoulder and shouted. Want to lock yourself in the room. For a whole year, the son lived in his grandmother's house and refused to meet his parents.

Wu Qingning was unacceptable for a time. He had been able to lie on the bookstore when he was 4 years old. When he was the worst condition, he could not even open the paper book. As soon as he saw it, he would crash and cry. Son, like all sick children, began to complain about "I am a waste". He thought of suicide again. He told Wu Qingning, "My pride does not allow me to live like this."

But Wu Qingning always took the child to the clinic. In order to leave more impression of the doctor, she wore the same dress every time in winter. She had seen outside the clinic that a child waiting for the retribution suddenly had a temper and yelled and abused her parents. The person waiting around the clinic was accustomed to it. His parents stood aside and faced the child, and did not feel embarrassed.

"To be honest, if it wasn't for my child, I had such a disease, and I might also feel that he was a rebellious child, but only our parents knew how helplessness was. Once the child appeared in this state, parents could only do so."

Accept

Wu Qingning remembers that when the child was just found out, the doctor explained to her at that time, "It is like a cold as a brain." For her, this was the most useful sentence.

She gradually accepted the reality of the child's illness, but some children she knew in the group, some even had to leave home because they could not be accepted by her parents.

In the lives of two -phase emotional disorders and family members, the phenomenon of not being understood or stigmatized is still common.

Peng Daihui has seen many parents who cannot accept their children. Some parents even have to complain after the doctor made a diagnosis. A father who invested a lot of daughters complained about it all day, "Why can other children work and live well, and my daughter is not good?" Under the high expectations of his father, his daughter often blamed himself.

Xia Shenghua, a psychological counselor of "over", has helped many young people with emotional disorders over the years. She heard from these children many times "Mom and Dad don't believe me" and "they ignored me." Most children will ask their parents after their emotional problems, and some children who are close to their parents may be comforted, but more people receive the response is "don't be nonsense" and "too aggressive". Even after some children said the idea of ​​suicide, they just ushered in accusations and criticism of the face.

Many parents choose to take their children to take Chinese medicine for conditioning. They give their children to travel to travel with their hearts, keep pets, and even change the environment. "They may just be slow, but it may be worse to find that the child is like this for a while." Xia Shenghua sometimes feels sad. Parents usually wait until the child's illness has reached the point of influence their studies before they realize that children are not adolescent rebellion, but they are sick.

In recent years, the two -phase emotional disorders have gradually entered the public vision. Some people have seen the cases of the talented translator Jin Xiaoyu's family confrontation for decades of emotional disorders for decades. This disease gives the title of "genius disease". But parents discuss in the group that the disease should not be romantic or stigma.

And because of the stigma and excessive reaction to the emotional disorders of adolescents, many parents often hide the name of the medical history, which leads to the expenditure of a large amount of medical expenses. Some families spend hundreds of thousands to millions of dollars in just a few years, and the economic burden is heavy. They hope that patients can get more social understanding and support when they are protected, but the road is still long.

"It is a disease that can be relieved and controlled by treatment." Sheng Ming said, "It is necessary to distinguish what diseases are and what are bad. These sick children do not have to hurt others subjectively when they are irritable."

In fact, neighbors did not know that Sheng Ming's son had mental illness over the years. Sheng Ming said that when his son was irritable, his emotions were only released to the family, and never frightened outsiders. "Only home is the safest place to make him feel the safest."

In the group of two -phase emotional disorders, sometimes there are pictures of sick children send pictures. The arms and thighs are covered with dense blood stains. This is the trace of the child's self -harm. There is no way to vent your emotions, you can only release the pain by self -injury.

Liu Shu was accused by the friends around him, "Children have become like this now, they have been raised by you!" The relatives and friends around did not say, but Liu Shu knew that each family gathering, relatives and friends did not welcome their son to go. In the group of patients, many families have gradually broken their relationships with their friends and relatives since their children are sick. Parents mentioned their children and wanted to hide instinctively, so they refused to socialize. The feeling of illness is lingering these families, and it is difficult to dissipate in the years when the child is sick.

In the past two years, Liu Shu gave a disabled certificate for his son. Doctors who were responsible for mental disorders would regularly go to the opportunity to obtain a free medical examination every two months. Parents can get more than 10,000 yuan per year, as well as thousands of yuan of nursing fees and minimum insurance subsidies. For this disabled certificate, the son was willing to accept it, and Liu Shu finally reconciled with himself. "After accepting it, I was comfortable."

But more families are unwilling. Liu Shu is particularly able to understand, "Parents always feel that their children will be fine in the future, even if they sell iron to sell iron."

Change

In the patient group, parents concluded a set of ecological balance rules that allow families to calm down: "For children who are tangled with these small things and indifferent events, the best way to get along with parents is to be disturbing, and they must respond."

Liu Shu found that not only himself, many families have completely changed their parent -child relationships after their children are sick. Once, the child wrote a pile of things related to the inner emotions on the paper and asked her parents to see it. Liu Shu felt unable to understand. She desperately wanted to correct her son who was not on a channel, but now she started to try to understand Son's heart. In recent years, Xia Shenghua has accompanied the parents of nearly 500 patients with minor mental illness. In her class, many parents mentioned their children's illnesses at first, and said tears in a few hours; in the later period, they would take the initiative to share what the child happened and how parents dealt with it. Xia Shenghua believes that this is a small social support system for parents. Only here, the hidden concerns about the child who dare not mention outside can the child be discussed without fear.

She found that many parents in anxiety would block the sound of the outside world.她告诉他们，“不要去评判孩子，要去感受孩子、去听孩子说。”面对不同的家庭，她会给出不同的建议，但她一直坚持，家长要先做出改变，给自己赋Yes, "Only when parents stand up first can they have the power to help their children."

In recent years, while accompanying the child for treatment, Wu Qingning became the owner of the "crossing" group and began to become volunteers and companions of many patients. They regarded her as an aunt, telling her the dispute with her parents and the pain that did not be understood.

She suddenly found that many of these friends who accompanied these groups were like looking in the mirror, seeing herself from the detours that others walked, and the mistakes she had made.

She remembered that after the child was sick, he shouted at herself when the emotional outbreak, "What you gave is never the love I want!" At the same time, she began to reflect on her desire to control the family. Fa Rong's family eats the cafeteria and gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning to make breakfast. Even during his business trip, the father and son were arranged in advance. In the high requirements, Wu Qingning overdraft himself and passed the anxiety to his family.

After the child was sick, Wu Qingning and her husband decided to start exercise. "Children are sick. As parents, we must bear more in the future, and we must do it well."

Wu Qingning ran around the sports field. She had not loved sports from 2 kilometers to persist from 8 kilometers each time. "The emotions and pressures that the child can't release in front of the child is released by running."

"Many parents feel that the child is sick, and the sky is collapsed." She and her husband went out to travel now, nourish herself, and leave room for their children to heal themselves. "When I am good, the child can be good. For them , Parents with energy, with quality companionship is the best medicine. "

Sheng Ming also learned that he no longer uses the so -called "experience" to persuade children who are unstable in emotional instability.

In the third year of studying at home, Sheng Ming found that his son with a gradual state of emotional state began to sit in the room to practice characters, and he could persist until two hours. He was surprised, "at least prove that he can calm down." Later, he tried to let the child pick up the textbook and counsel. After more than 20 cultural classes, the family decided to touch luck and take the college entrance examination.

The son finally admitted to the art majors of a college. Although he initially bumped, he finally persisted. This is an unexpected joy for the family.

After adjusting the expectations again, Sheng Ming felt that his son's current state was also good. "He just changed a way, and the most important thing was that he was walking forward."

(Sheng Ming, Wu Qingning, and Liu Shu are all pseudonyms)

Liberation Daily · Shangguan News Original manuscript, reprinting without permission

Author: Zhang Lingyun

WeChat editor: Miss Pi

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