Talking well, in fact, it is not easy at all!

Have you ever experienced a stuck event in communication:

I simulated several times in the brain, and in the end it was "unsatisfactory words",

After chatting for a small thing for a long time, the other party "still doesn't understand",

Even if you work hard to calm down, you can't help but "get angry again."

The communication required everywhere in life and work sometimes becomes the shackles of interpersonal communication, and even causes trouble. It seems to be trapped in the strange circle of speaking, neither protects itself, but also makes some relationship worse.

What should I do?

On Saturday, July 16th, simple psychological and simple forests, and Jie Twist improvisation jointly organized the online series of activities. The YES and AND communication training camp of the living room is not simple to help everyone use the theory of improvisation drama, a steady communication mentality, and practice how to speak well.

We picked the wonderful moments in the event, and invited the simple psychological platform certification consultant and the national second -level psychological counselor Teacher He Xiaosong. In the article, some of the problems in the communication proposed in the event. Let's take a look at it. Let's ~

01

Hug the unknown, yes and!

In the impromptu interpretation session of the event, the host Zi Qing and the guest guest Zi Yi (not brothers and sisters) restored several poor communication scenes at the scene, which caused everyone to resonate. Everyone commented in the comment area:

"High blood pressure is high", "too real, I have started to get angry", "I feel I saw myself."

The same scenario settings have different atmosphere and results after using a communication method called YES and. The two sides are no longer a confrontation communication, but become effective communication that can think about each other.

In order to help everyone understand communication in depth, Teacher He Xiaosong revealed the possible reasons behind the poor communication: in the process of communication, our body will mobilize different tools, and these tools determine our emotions. In other words, our body is "subconscious reaction" for us.

Next, the guest of the event, Mr. Ziyi, further explained to everyone the YES and communication method commonly used in improvisation drama: first listen and propose "yes" for the communication object, then divert thinking, and add it to this basis The new content is "and".

This method of encouraging unknown communication can help us to change their mentality, weaken natural fear of unknown things, and conceive some new ideas in the process of thinking.

Several improvisation games interspersed in the event also allowed everyone to use this communication skills unknowingly to experience the fun and surprises brought by unknown unknown.

02

What should I do so that my thoughts are fluent?

Before the start of the event, we solicited the troubles encountered in communication, and received a lot of answers, about native families, intimate relationships, workplace, self -growth, etc. During the event, I saw everyone's message in the comment area.

Because the time did not answer all during the event, we invited the consultant Teacher He Xiaosong to answer some of the problems raised by everyone, hoping to help everyone.

1. When dream is not supported by parents, do you still need to persist?

It is more common to dream of not being understood by parents. The differences between the concepts and personal views of the two generations may cause no way to understand each other. Speaking of most people, when they are pursuing their dreams, they will probably encounter resistance. It may come from people, or it may stem from objective factors. If you plan to persist, you will need to face these.

2. Parents want to let me live an ordinary life, but I don't want to do this, and they never listen to my opinions. They will only let me do it according to their ideas. What should I do?

The most important thing of a person's life is to be yourself, and on this road, there will be a variety of voices running out and telling you that this or that should be like that. Individuals need to learn objectively to distinguish and judge. What is the most important for yourself, you must also learn to face resistance in life.

Between parents and children, there will be difficulty in communicating. The reason may be that the child has grown up and has their own ideas, but the parents have not learned how to let go; it may also be the child's habitual dependence on the parents and obey their suggestions to obey their suggestions. Essence This process will experience conflict, departure, and reconciliation trilogy. You can find a way to let your parents understand that you can live your life well, or you can make them to see. After all, most parents want their children to live well. When they see your own state, it may Start learning to listen and accept your opinions.

3. I always feel that others have misunderstood themselves, and they do not explain in time when they are misunderstood. Afterwards, they will feel wronged and angry. I want to clarify the other party. What should I do if I always hold this idea?

If it is misunderstanding, it is normal to want to clarify. The purpose of communication is to let the other person understand the information you want to pass.

However, we must know that our communication is not easy. Everyone's experience and experience are different. Even if everyone speaks Chinese, the understanding of words will be different. Therefore, if you want to effectively pass the information, you need to build a bridge of a dialogue between everyone. When you feel that there is a misunderstanding, you can try to determine the other person. Hope to figure out what happened.

4. I feel embarrassed every time I get along with others alone. I don't know what to talk about? Embarrassment is particularly easy to make people want to shrink, but the more retreating, the more there is no chance to break through the embarrassing atmosphere. There is a saying that "as long as I am not embarrassed, the embarrassing is others", this can be used as a "cultivation" direction. After all, embarrassment is a must -have stage to be familiar and relaxed.

Of course, the embarrassment of different people is also different. After all, not everyone can get along well. You can try to observe and distinguish your circle of friends, and then build the circle of your own circle of friends. At least it can be divided into: close friends, good friends, acquaintances ~

5. I feel that I have a strong possessiveness to my classmates and friends I am familiar with. I will be angry when I see them chatting with others. I feel that I am nice to them and they must bid to me. Although I know that this may not be good, I can't control myself, I still lose my temper. What should I do?

Can possessive desire be said to be "excluded"? It ’s my friend who can only be my friend and cannot be friends with others.

Most people want to be the most special person, but as they grow, as individuals can walk from their own subjective world to the objective world, they will find that for everyone, the most special person is always the most special person is always the most special person. Own. Others will not turn around them, but the two sides can still be good friends and care each other. Although there will be a gap, it is worthy of experience. Maybe the process is difficult, then come a little bit ~

6. What should I do if the news of responding to others in real time makes my life nervous?

Repair response will make people stress. You can learn to support yourself a space for thinking, which can be the speed of speaking, or leave yourself when you type.

7. What should I do if there is no security relationship that allows me to practice communication skills?

Everyone's support system is limited and needs to be learned to expand. If there is no current, it does not mean that there is no tomorrow. In the future, it is not possible to change.

You can try to expand your circle according to your own interests and know some like -minded people. In addition, with the popularity of psychology, there are professional practitioners in various places that can go to consult or participate in interpersonal relationships.

8. I have a lot of words in my mind, but in fact, I can say that when I am about to tell me, I can also say it. How can I say my thoughts fluently?

This situation will be more difficult to receive positive feedback, whether it is from outside or internal. In fact, most people are not born with excellent speech expression ability. I will have a blank brain when I am tense.

The best way is to practice more, tell yourself to the mirror, after all, this person will not hurt you. If you want to improve your expression, you can also find some TED speeches, memorize it, and continue to practice in the mirror until you form muscle memory. After accumulating such experience, try to verbally speak your psychological content. If you still have difficulty, write them down and learn to sort out your inner thoughts first.

03

Of course, you don't need to say yes forever

We want to tell you some methods that can try and explore through this event to help everyone alleviate the negative effects of communication problems.

But this event does not help everyone to completely solve the problems encountered when communicating with different people, or it may not be suitable for everyone and every scene. Because behind the poor communication, there may still be some trauma left behind in the past. If necessary, we also recommend that you seek professional and targeted help.

The reason for the fundamental foundation is the first step in establishing a healthy communication model.

In addition to some communication skills, we also want to tell everyone that communication is not equal to fully meet the needs of the other party, nor is it to hide our true feelings to avoid conflicts. Communication is a way, not shackles.

We hope that everyone can be equal, safe, and borders in communication. We also wish everyone to explore a way to make them comfortable.

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