"Don't want to be compared."

one.

Last weekend, Aqi had a meal with his friend Aqi in his hometown.

Think about it carefully. This is the first time we meet this year.

Of course, there is another reason that Aqi has been busy preparing for graduate students since July last year.

Sitting with me in a snack bar that day, Aqi, who obviously could see the dark circles, said a lot of anxiety, among which: Among them:

I am also a good foundation for the preparation of the test than me. I am so panicked.

Brother XX was longer than me in World War II, and I panicked.

It happened for a few days. My brother took the score at the end of the period. I looked at him with a stretch of his face. From finishing his grades, to ask my mother to ask the classmate who had squeezed him as the first place in the class, and finally I knew that my total score was "dangerous" with a difference of 1.5 points, and I was relieved.

I found that their anxiety is somewhat similar, that is::

I am afraid that there is no TA.

two.

I was often "scared" before high school.

I have a fixed "competitor" is the same session as me and lived in the same alley.

There is a struggle in interpersonal relationships called power disputes. This power refers to the superiority of power such as "what I said is right" and "I am better than you".

It is caused by result -oriented competition awareness, and it is caused by the criteria of a single dimension.

Just like the people around me at the time judged the difference between our two as students.

This is a "game" that is a kind of kindergarten from a kindergarten.

Ashuang is a standard "child of others". I have always been "crushed" by her at the forefront of the forefront.

I am dissatisfied with my parents often say to me: She is better than me.

With an angry mood began the trouble of "how can it be better than her".

At that time, her name appeared at my dinner table over and over again, and my parents mentioned A Shuangshi, unlike the expression of admiration when I mentioned me, making me feel that students with good grades can be liked.

Only when I "amazing" than A Shuang can I get my parents' attention and appreciation.

Think back now, this comparison has cultivated a thinking mode:

Only by prove that you are better than others can you get love and happiness.

three.

What happened later.

I remember because she was afraid that she would not work hard enough to pay attention to her learning duration, the learning situation of each subject, did she go to tuition on weekends, and then asked herself based on her.

I have to do what she can do, and I have to do more than her, better than her.

It takes more time to turn it over three times. For this reason, I often stay up late to study.

At that time, the teachers in our class asked us to write a weekly book to exercise our writing level. On the goal of the cold figures on the transcript, I thought that it was reasonable to make some "for the study arrangements of various subjects. Under the choice,

I can't help me put my overall score in a short time like writing Zhou Ji. I only have little time and energy.

But the test two weeks later, my scores not only did not improve, but also declined.

Therefore, I was called to the office by the teacher, and pointed at the product of "Write casually" by me who was pierced by her at a glance.

"What's wrong recently?"

I wanted to answer that day I have studied seriously recently.

Just looking at the "evidence" on the table on the table, the word "serious" I talked about, who listened to it was a bit like lying.

Fortunately, the teacher didn't embarrass me too much. Looking at me, I looked down and looked at me, only to tell me to correct the attitude of learning.

I nodded like a garlic, but I couldn't understand until I walked out of the office. Why was I obviously working hard and was still considered to be incorrect and my grades were declining.

Later, I was infected with a cold by my brother and was sick for more than half a month.

I had a cold medicine early, and I was uncomfortable after I was sick. I decided to temporarily abandon my study plan for my double reform.

Back to the original appearance.

It is magical that my monthly test of that month has improved.

I didn't understand it at the time, but now there is an answer -in order to win her, I really use the learning method that is not suitable for myself.

My change in learning plan is not based on my own habit, but the habit of others.

I want to be better than others. In the process, all aspects of my aspects have fallen into this comparison. I am afraid that it will not be good enough to cause me to fall behind.

But everyone has their own rhythm. Even if I grow a pair of eyes on others, it cannot find a way that can make me progress.

I put too much attention on others, to understand the length of others, but ignore myself.

Four.

The anxiety at the beginning -I am afraid that there is no TA.

Our past education model has led to our weird anxiety now. Especially after graduation, when we see that the same peers who were almost unexpected were uneven, it was easier to have a gap.

To put it simply, we all know that life is enough.

But the model developed since childhood is really firm.

So that even if no one holds us to compare, we will be habitually compared ourselves, and then habitually panic, anxiety, and anxiety.

The good news is that many things understand why it happens, and naturally has the ability to solve it.

When I realize how ridiculous I was habitual, when I was anxious next time, I would deliberately remind myself -there is no need to negate myself because of the life of others.We just need to stare at what we want to do.

Once we start to compare, we are staring at it, but people.

And we all know that staring at others will only deform the action.

We all have to start to understand,

Prove that you are stronger than others, it is by no means a way to get love and happiness.

You don't love you.

- END -