The 1 -year -old Mengwa was crying by his father's anger, and a comment was on: how can a married woman break the game?

Today is the 3211 day that I am intensive to accompany you for life -long growth

01

A few days ago, I saw a hot search: Dad helped my mother wash pajamas, crying 1 year old Mengwa.

It turned out that when her mother was at home, she often wore this pajamas to play with the baby.

The taste of the mother was stained on the pajamas. After the mother could not find the mother after her mother was at work, she would hold the pajamas to find a sense of security.

That day, Dad looked at the weather and washed the clothes.

As a result, the baby saw the washed clothes, distracted, crying and crying, very cute.

Under this hot search comments, some people seriously popular science: "Smelling for children, the brain area of ​​memory in the brain -that is the taste of parents and mother! This is equivalent to a kind of soothing material, which is related to the child's heart. Security and trust. "

Some people praise the baby’s cuteness: "He is so cute, cute when you laugh, and crying cute"

It is more to share the same baby at home: "My daughter sleeps with her crocodile pillow and pink Hello Kitty blanket ..."

But in the comments of nearly 3,000 articles, I saw a billed: "This dad is good, and do housework and baby."

This comment is very special, because if the gender is interchangeable, it will not be able to turn over such comments.

In the eyes of most people, women in marriage should be the role that needs to bear housework, including many women themselves.

So even if they do more, no one will praise them.

But if it is in turn, it is men who bear the housework, and he can receive praise from all directions, and even searches for it.

In the past two years, there was a very popular variety show "Men who was a housework". Yuan Hong circled a wave of powder because of diligence.

In the show, Yuan Hong got up at six in the morning and made a breakfast for breakfast.

Seeing Zhu Dan's envy, lamenting that they had never had such a scene.

But all these of him, in the eyes of his wife Zhang Yiyi, is just a standard for a normal man.

As soon as the words were exported, all the women in the surroundings opened their mouths.

In fact, they were surprised. A set of data was announced at the beginning of the show:

The employment rate of Chinese women ranks first in the world; Chinese men's housework is ranked fourth in the world; the average time for Chinese women to do housework is 81 minutes more than men; housework trivial matters will become the first reason why Chinese couple divorce.

Yuan Hong was praised because of the "peers" well, because men did too little in housework.

02

There is a 2 -minute short video, and many people have watched:

His father came to his daughter's house as a guest. He found that after his daughter arrived at home, he kept busy with housework -while working on the work phone, he also had to complete a series of series of toys, handling dirty clothes, cooking, and even pouring coffee for her husband. housework.

The son -in -law just sat on the sofa with Erlang's legs comfortably, drinking coffee, watching TV, waiting for dinner ...

In her daughter's marriage, she didn't ask for warmth, only the endless housework, only the lonely fighting in the child's shit.

This is not what his father wants to see.

But it is sighing that the daughter's experience is the duplicate of the mother's life, and all of this, and a father who is standing by a sleeve in the house, can't get rid of the department.

At the end of the short film, his father finally realized that from small to large, he set a wrong role model for his daughter.

There are many father in reality. They want their daughters to be treated well, but in their marriage, they are deeply ingrained that doing housework is the obligation of his wife.

The father in the short film was awakened, but what about the man in real life?

There is a survey that detailed housework to various categories, and the undertaking rate of married women is much higher than that of married men.

These housework actually brought a lot of "mental load" to women in marriage.

What is "spiritual load"? It means always remember something:

Remember to add a cotton swab to the shopping list; remember that it is time to take the clothes at home to dry; remember that today it is the day of taking the child to take a vaccine; remember that the child has 3 cm longer, and the clothes before you can not be worn. ; ...

This kind of consumption is endless, and it takes care.

Sometimes, the "parenting" item is enough to spend women from get off work, even throughout the weekend.

It is not difficult to understand why the wife has so many resentment to her husband, why more and more women are not in a hurry to get married, or they start to divorce ...

03

How many women think that they have a home after marriage, and two people can share the bitterness and bitterness in life together, and immerse themselves in chai oil and salt.

But after marriage, it was found that in the hearts of men, the family was two people, but the housework was the wife.

The man who said he wanted to cover the wind and rain for his rain became the one who brought wind and rain.

Recently, the surging news released a set of data, a marriage survey based on the four countries of China, Japan, South Korea, and Singapore showed that:

The risk of death of married people is obviously lower than unmarried people (including divorce).

Is this data telling us that marriage is a good thing? Don't worry, then look down.

Although the data roughly shows that marriage is good for people, but this data is in the sample of men and women, it shows a very large difference:

The risk of death of married men has reduced more than 23%compared to other men. But the risk of death of married women was only reduced by 3%.

Another set of data is more interesting: for women, it is more bad than being single, and it is a bad marriage; but for men, even in a bad marriage, the health of married men is still better than unmarried men. Essence

In bad marriage, the probability of poor women's health is 23%, while unmarried women have a probability of poor health, which is five percentage points lower than the former.

In other words, in a bad marriage, married women are not as healthy as unmarried women, and as long as men are married, regardless of the marriage match does not meet his expectations, he is more comfortable than men who are not married.

Think of an interesting phenomenon mentioned by the writer Aiyang:

In the two almost completely homogeneous programs, "Sisters who have broken the wind and the waves" and "Brother who are cutting the thorns", the sisters on the stage are either single or divorced, and most of the outstanding brothers have stable marriage, and even rely on dazzling wife. There are countless fans.

This law confirms the conclusions of the previous set of data.

The physical condition will inevitably affect a person's career development, the state is good, and the probability of success is naturally greater.

Marriage is a stable rear for men; for women, the front line and stability are often done by her alone.

It is said that a good family is a harbor of the wind, but many reality is that the husband has a husband, and the wife is the "Hong Kong".

"It's better to get married", which is established to a certain extent for women.

04

In today's society that runs rampant in the concept of "male lead and female lead", the families of men's housework are not without.

Qi Wei's husband Li Chengyi revealed in an interview with Yi Li's competition that because his wife was better than herself and his career was heavier, he took the initiative to be a full -time dad after giving birth to his daughter Lucky.

But when I really took this responsibility, I found that the job consumed a lot of consumption and was very hard. I was busy for a day, and looked back, but seemed to have nothing to do.

Li Chengyi admits that he even depressed for a year.

Marquez said: "Compared to the huge disaster in marriage, daily trivial troubles are more difficult to avoid."

This saying is not false.

Regardless of men and women, as long as they fall into this daily trivial trouble, they will suffer huge mental pressure.

And if you do a full -time party, you can't get the understanding and respect of the other half. The fall of that family is a matter of minutes.

Miller Berman wrote in the book "Intimate Relationship":

When the wife assumes all or most of the housework, her marriage happiness is negative, and her husband is positive, and vice versa; only when the husband and wife cooperate or the housework to bear the general equilibrium, the marriage happiness of both parties is positive. Therefore, the husband or wife wants both sides to feel the happiness of marriage, and it is better to share housework with cooperative efforts.

Men do not do housework, but lack a sense of family responsibility. At the same time, they have also formed a lazy habit under the indulgence of many traditional women.

Therefore, to reverse the situation, try 2 suggestions:

① Don't be too diligent.

Once a woman is diligent, men are naturally abandoned in housework.

Learning is a habit of developing, as well as housework. When you are lazy, you become more and more lazy.

Therefore, women in marriage must leave enough space and let her husband play.

② The wife learned to praise her husband's dedication.

The husband dragged the floor, and his wife was dragging cleanly; her husband wiped the table, and his wife had oil stains on the table; the husband made a cooking, his wife felt that it was not good ... this seriously cracked down on the enthusiasm of the husband's housework.

Rosenteal's effect tells us: In an environment full of trust and appreciation, people are more vulnerable to inspiration and encouragement, good self -awareness, and more enthusiasm for action, and finally make better results.

Therefore, in order to liberate his hands in the future, as long as the husband does what he can accept, his wife must exaggerate to death.

Although it is important to treat them equally, it is important to perform their duties, but there are always too many helplessness and unfairness in this world.

In order to maintain normal operation, some families must be sacrificed and they are at home.

Then the person who is working hard must respect and understand the other half of the "spiritual load" at home.

Remember, the love that loves each other is the marriage that understands and share!

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