A small thing for the intimacy of "emotional warming" ｜ Weekly

Welcome to the literature section of me for the people ~

In this period of simple psychological weekly, you can see:

爱 Active resonance is the preservative of love

像 Language violence will also cause damage as actual attacks

更 Friends want to hear your news more than you think

◍ Want to decompress? It's better to start with the cleaning room

01

Active resonance is the preservative of love

There are many partners complaining that they are in false intimacy: living with each other, but they can't feel close. Love seems to have dissipated soon.

What is a real love preservation agent? A study published in "Journal of Personality and Social Psychology" has long tracked 154 to middle -aged and elderly couples:

The more a couple's positive resonance, the more likely they are, the more likely they will maintain a healthy partner relationship, and the life span is often longer.

The meaning of positive resonance is: When a partner experiences positive emotions, it produces a sense of connection through behavior and physiological synchronization. For example, love between love, smile, or intimate actions you are familiar with each other.

The reason why it is special is that it is different from our traditional cognition of long -lasting understanding of love. Active resonance is a series of tiny positive moments experienced by people in daily life.

In order to track the interactive changes for a long time, these couples go to the university's laboratory every five years to discuss the recent conflict and pleasant topics; accept video observation, marriage satisfaction and health surveys. Subsequently, Wells, a psychologist at the University of California, California, and colleagues coded and evaluated interactive videos.

They found that active resonance consists of 3 specific actions:

Shared Positive Emotion. For example, share with each other, what stupid thing our kitten did today, too cute;

Practice Mutual Care every day. For example, help each other to make coffee, and bring something that the other party needs to go home from work;

Behavioral Synchrony/Sensory Connection. This means that there is a practical sense and physical connection between people. Both of them are in the same place. You can see and touch each other, hear each other's voice, immerse themselves in each other's existence, and even change the frequency of breathing frequency. Similar.

▷ "Go to his*World"

Researchers have found that higher positive resonance frequencies indicate a better relationship between the future, healthier body and longer life span between partners.

One of the authors, psychologist Barbara Fredrickson believes that these small moments of active resonance are the key factor in the persistent development of the relationship. It allows two independent individuals to experience the surge in warmth, humor and feelings, and produce a sense of integration. This instant resonance is the deepest intimacy and the most specific form of love.

02

Insulting is like a small slap in language

It hurts people like actual attacks

Language attacks are very common. More than 50% of adults have reported speech abuse in the relationship.

In family, work, and even in love, it may appear loudly, criticism, threat, humiliation, abuse, manipulation, and emotional abuse.

A study published in "Frontiers in Communication" shows that the human brain's sensitivity to negative words is higher than positive words, and the small slap in the insulting portrait language will hurt us like actual attacks.

Researchers recruited 79 female participants, let them read a series of statements, and informed that these statements were said by three different people. These statements include three different behaviors: insults (such as Linda is terrible), praise (such as Linda is impressive) and neutral (such as Linda is Dutch). Essence

The results show that even if these words are not real interactions, they are separated from the actual context, and the participants still feel insult quickly.

Negative evaluations will automatically and quickly attract attention during our vocabulary retrieval process, causing negative emotions, and speech insults will cause a series of physical and mental reactions to pose a threat to some people's self.

Researchers believe that you can identify these attacks and seek help as much as possible, rather than tolerating, which may help us get rid of the damage caused by speech attacks.

03

Friends than you think

I look forward to hearing your news

One day you were brushing the circle of friends and saw the current situation of a friend. You suddenly think of you in the past, but because of the different situations, you have been neglected for a while. Will you send a WeChat for TA or silently swipe it? You might be a little embarrassed, I don't know if the friend still wants to communicate with you.

If you face this situation, please relax. A study published in "Journal of Personality and Social Psychology" showed that people usually underestimate the interest of old friends in their current situation. Friends may be more looking forward to your news than expected.

Researchers asked the participants to think about the relationship with them, but did not contact them recently, and then asked them to send a message to their friends (or send a message and a small gift at the same time, such as vouchers), and asked the participants to give it to The popularity of your own behavior is scored. Later, the researchers contacted their friends to investigate the actual experience.

The results showed that participants usually underestimated their behavior. Especially when the recipient does not expect, or you have not been particularly intimate recently, their feelings will be better.

People are essentially social animals, the first author, PEGGY LIU of the University of Pittsburgh. Whether it is simple greetings or sharing daily small things -this active and active connection can help us maintain their feelings with friends and improve each other's happiness.

04

Want to decompress? It's better to start with the cleaning room

Exercise, venting, meditation, shopping, walking, cats ... Human brains have various mechanisms to deal with pressure.

Recent research published in "Social Psychology and Personality Science" shows that the most basic cleaning behavior can also help us decompress.

Researchers recruited 3066 participants in the United States and Canada, allowing them to perform actual cleaning and visual simulation and clean behavior in the pressure situation induced by experiments (see others cleaning or cleaning in imagination), and inspected the same test at the same time The impact of these behaviors on the pressure index of participants.

The results show that whether it is actual and visual simulation cleaning behaviors can help us reduce individual anxiety and stress reactions.

Why can cleaning rooms have such a wonderful effect? Psychologists believe that there may be three reasons:

1) Cleaning itself is highly predictable

Martin Lang, an evolutionary anthropologist at the University of Massarik's research ritual, said that people sometimes ask for help -including cleaning -to reduce the pressure on other aspects of life. Because human brain likes to predict things, it enables us to survive in the environment and extract resources from the environment.

2) Reduction of chaotic visual stimulus

Compared with a messy environment, cleaning can also help us reduce other unrelated visual stimuli, and better concentrate on solving the current problems. A study by the Institute of neuroscience in Princeton in 2011 compared the impact of living in a messy and organized space. It was found that too much visual stimuli made people concentrate on the brain's concentration and processing information. For some people, this overload may bring pressure.

3) Provide environmental control

Cleaning will provide people with a sense of goals, which is very beneficial to people under pressure -you can draw from a long -term large -scale project, start with small things, and make some changes. This can help reduce our stress on stress. Perceive. Therefore, in the face of huge pressure, cleaning will give us a sense of control and control of the environment. Even if it is simply packing the desktop or organizing the room, it is the most convenient and effective adjustment method.

Well, there are so many weekly in this issue. I hope you get a little interesting psychological knowledge.

See you next time!

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