The 6 characteristics of health relationship, the relationship other than love is also applicable

In life, many people do not know what a healthy and comfortable interpersonal relationship should look like; and do not understand how to build and maintain a healthy relationship.

Henry Cloud's book "The Power of the Other" of Henry Cloud, which proposes 6 standards for judging health interpersonal relationships, and three major characteristics of unhealthy interpersonal relationships. Share it to everyone today. Note that the relationship between today is not limited to love, but also applies to friendship and general interpersonal relationships.

What is a healthy interpersonal relationship,

What are its characteristics?

Psychologist Henry Claude pointed out that a health relationship has the following 6 characteristics. You can use it to evaluate your relationship:

1. You will always take the initiative to think of what you can do for the other

Mutual reciprocity is the first feature of health interpersonal relationships, and both parties will actively consider the needs and interests of the other party. When one party helps the other and bring the interests to the TA, the benefit of the benefit will always actively give back the other party.

When encountering some contradictions, the two sides will take the initiative to consider how to compromise the greatest extent, and they will consider "how to do it is good for us." Both sides will work hard to make the relationship be as fair and win -win as possible, rather than trying to harm each other to help themselves.

2. The communication between you is good and sincere

Even if the degree of exposure is very low, the two parties in healthy interpersonal relationships will be willing to expose themselves at a suitable scale. When talking about their own ideas and feelings, they are always sincere. In the process of revealing each other, you will not listen or talk or talk (such as maliciously laughed at each other) with the maliciousness of the other person, and respond with goodwill.

In a period of health, both of them will feel that this kind of sincerity is safe. Even if the other party does not understand what you are talking about at first, you will feel confident: even if the other party does not understand me, TA will try to try to understand without criticizing you based on TA's own perspective.

3. You will respect each other's principles and regulations

In the relationship of health, you will dare to tell the other party that you feel uncomfortable in the relationship. When the other party may violate your principle, you will dare to refuse and say "no".

You also believe that the other party will respect your principles. For example, when you tell TA that you don't want to talk about your family, the other party will not force you to confess. Similarly, you will respect the principles and bottom lines of the other party, and you will not deliberately violate and try to control the other party.

4. Emotional independence, do not expect the other party to be responsible for himself, nor does it assume the other party's emotional responsibility

Healthy interpersonal relationships are independent of each other. Independence means that both parties will be responsible for their emotions and behaviors, and will not shirk responsibility to each other. At the same time, it will not be responsible for the other party.

At the same time, the two parties will also bear the consequences of their behavior and emotions, rather than rely on the other party to complete your interpersonal, work, health and other responsibilities for you. For example, expect your partner to completely cure the trauma of your native family (TA can support you, but you still need to actively realize cognitive changes, seek professional help, etc.); Similar Will not take the initiative or passively to bear the responsibility that the other party should bear. For example, you will not take the other's happiness as your own responsibility. Once the other party is unhappy, you must do everything to make the other party happy. You will allow the other party to deal with it. TA's emotions.

5. You can also rely on each other and the need for each other

Although it looks contradictory, the independence and dependence in the relationship coexist. Moderate dependence means that when both parties need, they dare to ask each other for help, and not afraid of losing the independence of their own personality. Responsibility for yourself does not mean that everything can only be resolved by themselves. Both parties that depend on can feel the happiness needed in the relationship. When asking the other party for help, he won't worry about the other party who thinks he is troublesome, and he knows that the other party will be willing to provide support for himself. (How to establish a moderate dependence relationship?

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