No matter who you associate with, don't be too "generous" in these things

Generous, of course, is a virtue that can win the favor and respect of others.

But once it is over, good intentions do not necessarily have a good news.

Not everyone is worthy of our "generous", nor can everything be "generous". Don't be too generous in life, learn to refuse, learn to establish principles, and learn to treat yourself well.

01 Don't share the secret generously

Feng Menglong said in "Wake -ups": "The machine is not dense, and the tongue is the interest book, and the mouth is a blessing."

Meaning: Once the secret is leaked, it will cause scourge.

Do not share it so generously whether it is your own secret or other people's secrets.

This will not only cause trouble for yourself, but also may cause friends to look back.

During the Tang Xuanzong period, a minister was called Yu Chaoben. There is a guest named Zhangyan in his house. This person is very strategic and good at planning.

On one occasion, when Yu Chaonen went out, Guo Ziyi went out and was chaotic, and Du Guo's ancestral tomb was dug to open his ancestor's corpse wilderness. This move surprised Zhangyan, and felt that this was really not a gentleman.

At that time, Wu Shida, another conspirator in Zhangyan and Yu Chaonan, met. He believed that the two were like -minded, so he regarded Wu Shida as his own person, and he knew him, including the shame of Yu Chaonan's routine practice.

After listening to Zhangyan's words, Wu Shida not only did not help the "friend" conservative secret, but even sneaked the matter, and finally passed to Yu Chaoben's ears.

Because of the poor knowledge, Zhangyan caused the dissatisfaction of Yu Chain, and eventually attracted the calamity of the killing.

To be a person with sincerity, but also distinguish between the object of conversation. Be reserved for others and self.

If you don't want to know all, you must know how to keep your mouth like a bottle.

When dealing with people, keep in mind that you only say three points in everything, be sincere, understand, and leave a distance.

02 Don't make promises generously

When people reach a certain age, they should settle down. Don't say too much, don't talk too wide.

Within the scope of your ability, you can help; if you are beyond your ability, you should not be stubborn.

For the so -called face, the swollen face is a fat man, and the promise is unable to do it generously. The consequences are: not only delaying things, but also suffering from trust, and may cause a relationship to break down.

Even if you are busy helping, some people may not be grateful. Instead, this is a trivial matter for you, and it is the work.

You know, commitment to be fulfilled, and the promise that cannot be fulfilled is a lie.

Don't give your kindness wrong, don't do those difficulty things. Don't make promises to make a promise that can't be fulfilled.

Rejection reasonably is both responsible for yourself and responsibility to others.

03 Don't borrow money generously

It is not easy to make money. Many people are willing to spend to their families and borrow it for friends, but they are reluctant to give themselves.

Especially when facing friends, I do n’t ask how much the relationship is, do n’t write a debit, do n’t ask the purpose, and borrow it out; the relationship is generally half pushed, for fear that others think they are stingy and offend people.

Those who treat you as a friend will only find you when you really encounter difficulties, but this situation is once or twice. Because you are afraid of you, you are afraid of money hurting feelings.

Those who do not treat you as a friend, look for you three or five times. Looking for you today, it is not a little cheaper to take advantage of your hand tomorrow.

People who do n’t understand gratitude will think so: this time it is so easy to borrow money, and you can find you if you lack money next time. This will raise their expectations for you, so that others will have to enter the foot. Not only is it difficult for you to borrow money, it is also easy to offend people.

As the saying goes, help the sleepy and not lazy, and save the poor. Money cannot be borrowed, but how to distinguish how to borrow it.

No matter how good the relationship is, you must ask the use when borrowing money. It is not a big problem to not borrow when the other person's character is not.

Don't waste time and energy for people who are not worth it, your kindness, to give people worth it.

04 Do not forgive the damage generously

Writer Ji Bollen once said: "A great person has two hearts: one heart bleeds; the other heart is tolerant."

It is tolerant or forgiveness, there are principles and bottom lines.

The tolerance without principles is just blindly indulging; forgiveness without the bottom line will only bring endless damage.

Your generous forgiveness and easy compromise will only make others feel that you are weak and deceived, so that you will not respect you.

Don't be too generous in life. If, in a relationship, the other party always uses you to calculate you, so that you are too generous, then you should reflect on it.

Because, good relationships can often achieve courtesy.

For everyone, all forgiveness is conditional. Don't be able to please and find out for a period of unequal relationship.

Source of data | Ten o'clock reading, Bai Orchid Michelia, one Monday book; the picture comes from the Internet

Source: People's Forum Network

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