Parents always think that children are "poor". This is not love, but a "invisible" harm!

Text ｜ A total of 2036 words, the reading time is about 4 minutes

Mrs. Wang Wang has a habit, always saying that the child is pitiful in front of the child.

The child did not eat well for breakfast, she would say, "My child is so pitiful, I can't eat breakfast";

The school bus came a little later than usual at night. She said, "My child is so pitiful, it must be boring in this school car";

The child's academic performance was not good, and she would also say, "My child is so pitiful. I work hard every day. The results are not satisfactory, and my heart must be sad." ...

It seems that no matter what, she can say "my child is so pitiful."

Slowly, I found that the child also had a "poor" emotion, especially when Mrs. Wang said "my child is so pitiful" in front of her, the child’s expression and movement are passing on the information of "I am poor" Essence It should have been an optimistic and cheerful child. Affected by the mood and discourse of the mother, it became a psychological and fragile child.

The child is a natural micro -expression expert. He is very sensitive to the adult's attitude. Even if the adults hide the "poor" child's emotions in their hearts, they will be easily detected by the child, so as to seat the number.

Parents think that children are "poor" as an instinctive love and distress, but this emotion passes to the child a negative emotion that affects their growth.

The mirror of the brain will copy "negative emotions"

From the perspective of brain science, there are some mirror neurons in each person's brain. This mirror neuron is used to copy what she sees and feel. Parents think that the child is pitiful all day, so the child will copy this kind of type. Poor, the result of adverse effects on the growth of children.

Like knowing this world, in terms of emotional understanding, children first learned and identified through parents. Through the emotional monetization of parents and facial expressions, children will know that when they encounter different events, they should use different emotional performance.

When the emotions passed on to their children are "poor", they can tell whether this emotion is poor or poor. Poor others will sympathize with others. When pitying himself, the child will become more and more vulnerable.

There is always a child with a "poor" emotion in the heart. For example, the test results decline, teacher criticism, or questioning of others, etc., which put him into self -doubt and self -denial, and finally concluded: I can't do it, from pity to inferiority.

Because of his habit of accepting the "poor" emotions of others, when the elders did not start criticizing, they had already begun to sobbing, and felt that they had suffered a lot of grievances. To get the attention of others, rely on the mercy of others, forgive or forget their mistakes.

As a result, the problem is not resolved, and the child will not improve. The mentality of others will not achieve good results and great achievements.

Nowadays, the chances of teenagers are getting higher and higher. Factors such as learning pressure and lack of concern for parents are not guided in time, which is the cause of depression. In addition, there is also a reason for depression caused by self -pity. It is also good for parents, self, and I always feel poor. This emotion will move more and more over time. No one guides it. In addition Psychological fragility, eventually causing depression.

Tips: All the reasons that children happen are from the "poor" emotions of parents. The child determines that he is pitiful and needs to be taken care of by adults. So he dares not to act on many things, becoming cowardly and unconfident. Such a vicious cycle is not love for children, but a kind of harm.

Parent's "poor" is not love

In the name of "love" in life, the pity and pity for children are actually a kind of harm. It will not play a positive effect on children. It will only combat their enthusiasm and eliminate the confidence and courage of children facing difficulties in the face of difficulties. Essence Therefore, as parents, we must know the difference between love and poor children.

Parents love their children selflessness and do not ask for rewards, but this love is based on the benefits of children, with principles and bottom lines.

Western Chinese writer Liu Xiang said a classic saying: "Parents' love sons are profound."

This is to warn parents that loving children is planning for his long -term, not just thinking about it. Do something for love in the name of love, which is not good for children.

And the "poor" emotion is a kind of no good for children. "My child, you are very pitiful, I feel sad for you, and I will make up for the pain that you can bear." Thinking, you will make some seemingly protecting children, in fact, let them lose the courage and ability to face frustration.

Rudorf Drex, a well -known American psychologist in the United States, pointed out in the book "Child: Challenge": "Children are very sensitive to adults. If we are poor, children will think they have self -sorrowful and self -pity. Reasonable reason. "

Therefore, "poor" emotions are not love for children.

Teach children to cope with everything

Guo Degang once said such a sentence: "Some people have suffered from suffering from an early age. When they grew up, they couldn't enter the sword. If they had not suffered a little grievance since childhood, they lived to 60 years old. Someone glanced at him.

Therefore, Guo Degang is very severe in educating his son, and now Guo Qilin's achievements are also obvious to all, and they are recognized as polite and humble young people and have received unanimous praise.

Imagine that if Guo Degang had a compassionate attitude to educate his son, then Guo Qilin will not be able to achieve it today, or become a person who can only rely on his parents. For parents, don't just be poor even if there are sufficient reasons, which will make him weaker and weaker. Instead, we should teach children to face the wisdom of misfortune and cope with misfortune.

The child is injured. Parents are distressed by people. If the parents told the child at this time: "It's okay, we must be brave. I believe that this hurts you to survive, and you will know how to protect yourself." Tell the child in this way, he not only is more brave, but also knows how to protect himself.

Parents and children are a kind of gradual relationship. No parents can accompany and protect their children for their lives. They cannot predict that in this life, he will not experience difficult and pain. Instead of pitying the child, it is better to teach him to deal with all wisdom. You know, no one will succeed in the pity of others!

Mom comes in the early morning:

I have always felt that when my parents have pity for their children, they put their children in an unequal position. In this way, you cannot respect and accept everything of them.

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